Angelica Agatha Villanueva: Poems

7d · 164

Angelica Agatha Villanueva 7d

From the first breath I’ve drawn,
I’ve sought for mountains to climb,
Oceans to swim.
Digging through patches of dirt,
without an end in sight.
An endless persecution for breathing.
Lingering, coasting, and wasting away.

Galavanting with thoughts of an end,
Lost in the forest of trees.
Sinking deep in the ocean of blues.
Strolling beneath a sunless sky.
I was convinced this lifetime was meant to be brief-
Filled with agonizing adventures made to be savored.
Bound to happiness that was evanescent,
slipping away before I could ever fully grasp it.

A future deprived of certainty,
Where nothing awaits.
A garden where nothing grew,
Empty of yearning.
My end awaited me,
and the sentiment was mutual.
Tears blurred my vision as I bowed to defeat;
Whispers of the first ripple of conflict.

Perhaps if my mind were sharper,
they’d see worth in my words.
If I bent to serve the world,
maybe I’d earn a place.
If beauty clung to me like air,
they might drown just to feel me.
But as I am-
a shadow with a pulse-
I am seen, but never held.
If I were anyone but me-
maybe then, I’d matter.

Glimpses of light at the very end of a never ending tunnel,
It beams of longing-
shining with promises of a future never meant to be mine to hold.

But even shadows stretch toward the sun,
and somewhere beneath the ache,
a pulse still fights to be felt.
Maybe-
just maybe-
I am not made to be vanished.
This breath is not the end,
but the beginning of becoming.
I can still burn.
Still become.
Not despite the chaos,
But because of it.

Transition from despair to a realization of desire - leading to hope.

#despair #hope #love #life #defeat #victory #success #contemplation #sadness #grief

Mar 23 · 176

A Letter To The Heart Behind His

Angelica Agatha Villanueva Mar 23

A Letter To The Heart Behind His

He carries wisdom in his soul,
A heart woven with kindness, honesty, and care.
His presence is a refuge-
A place where I am safe, where I can exhale.

He is gentle, yet strong.
Patient, yet unwavering.
Grounding, yet boundless in his dreams.
With him, I am steady. With him, I am free.

Through him, I see the reflection of love itself.
Brilliant in mind, bold in spirit,
Sincere in his words, fearless in his heart.
His existence is a gift, and I cherish every moment.

But above all, I love who I am beside him.
He lifts me, yet never asks me to be anything but myself.
With him, I am strong.
With him, I am peaceful.
With him, I am selfless.
With him, I am endlessly inspired.

Thank you for giving him life,
For shaping the soul that I now hold dear.
I vow to guard his heart as long as I walk beside him.
To understand him deeply-
His needs, his desires, his hopes, his dreams.

For as long as fate allows,
I will love him wholly,
Not just for who he is-
But for the world he creates within me.

Cheers to the woman who taught him love

#love #boundless #sincerity #freedom #endearing #admiration #passion #soul #mother #mom

Mar 13 · 151

Yours to keep

Angelica Agatha Villanueva Mar 13

Yours to keep

I’ve dreamed of a place where I can rest,
Yet I never searched with hope- still, you found me.
Your warmth, your touch, your eyes-
They awaken something I thought long lost.

It isn’t fantasy, nor is it a dream- I can see it now.
Ive grown accustomed to wandering through gardens of thorns, yet you chose to hand me nothing but delicate flowers.

You are what I couldn’t fathom to dream of.
You kiss my scars, and they begin to heal.
You stitch my wings, and I learn to fly.
You cultivate a field of wildflowers,
So I may run free beneath the open sky.

Unrelentlessly fighting with ghosts of my past, You breathed life into what was fading.
For you, I lay down my sword, my shield, my armor-
You’ve rendered them useless.
With your love, your strength, your unwavering devotion-
The past never stood a chance.

I revel in the thought of our souls entwined,
Dancing through lifetimes before this one.
I see my future filled with dreams that only a rare few could ever grasp.

So take my hand and lead me forward,
Through fields kissed by golden light.
With you, love is not just a fleeting moment,
But the quiet eternity I never thought I’d find.

Even if the world should darken,
Even if time dares to pull us apart,
Know this-
My love for you will outlive the stars,
And in every life, I will find you again.
And my heart- it is and always will be truly yours to keep.

#love #eternal #healing #trust #safety #dreams #soul #destiny

Mar 11 · 171

I’m Found

Angelica Agatha Villanueva Mar 11

I’m Found

It’s been a long time since I touched pen to paper,
Lost in the rhythm of endless, mediocre days,
Each tomorrow arriving void of hope or wish,
A quiet drift through time’s indifferent haze.

I have known joy, but never at its peak,
Felt sorrow, yet never plunged into the abyss.
I have wondered what I’ve missed,
Haunted by scars left by malice and neglect,
Each mark a whisper of what once was.

Chasing highs, avoiding lows,
I ran so far ahead, I left myself behind.
Did I do so unknowingly, or what I thought of my worth that led my steps astray?
I sought love in fleeting moments,
Connection in safety, sameness, the unknown—
A restless wanderer grasping at ghosts.

Trapped in the solitude of my own mind,
I called it freedom, mistook it for strength,
Blissfully unaware of how unhappy I was—
A prisoner who had long forgotten the cage.

Yet without purpose, I finally found myself.
I found strength through impotence,
peace through turmoil,
and abundance in desolation.

#selfgrowth #love #selflove #past #present #future #woman #hurt #pain #growth

Feb 2018 · 463

Second chances

Angelica Agatha Villanueva Feb 2018

Second chances

I returned back to the same home I used to know,
Oh boy, it feels familiar but I'm not so sure if it's good thing.
My first few steps back inside I heard some creaks on the floor in a silent room filled with dust on some brand new furniture
I mean, how is that even possible?
I take a few steps forward as the door behind me closes..
"is this the right choice?"
Pictures on the frames take so little amount of space in the house but somehow they constantly remind me of the past..
Of what this house used to be.
So I tore them off.
I tore them all off the walls so that all you can see is the clear empty walls, looking cleaner and more innocent with a hole where the nail used to be.
I'm not sure if it even looks better.
But I shoved the frames in a box, beneath my bed..
So why is it every time I take a stroll in the house it smells the same, and every time I sleep at night, I feel something hiding under my bed..
I mean, let's be more direct.
You were my home.
But I don't know who you even are anymore...
Cause every time I want to smile, I hear the picture frames knocking on my door, telling me I shouldn't.
Every time I think of coming home, I stop by every store just to make sure I have all the different frames so I can hide that nasty hole on the wall that the nail left behind..
But every time I did that, I couldn't tell if I was redesigning my home or lying to myself.
Tell me, what makes this one so different?
Is it a even a second chance.. or the seventh chance?
The ghosts of you don't creep behind me, it's the knives on my back and I can't tell..
Tell me, are they still there?
Or am I reminiscing about the past, feeling on the scars that I can't see, hoping one day I'm able to study every curve and every mark of where I went wrong that caused me to carry them for the rest of my life..
I mean tell me, because if I can't trace my steps back to the time I've twisted the door **** and walked right in without studying the room or listening to these same empty walls.. would I still be alive?
Or would you have killed me with the same knives that's already deeply rooted into my spine..
you say you love me but it sounds the same.
****! That ******* knocking is getting louder, it won't leave me alone.

Sometimes, we don't learn our lessons.

#breakup #love #growth #life #home #suffer #mend #forgive #forget

Apr 2016 · 462

Acceptance

Angelica Agatha Villanueva Apr 2016

Acceptance

I still taste your bitterness on my tongue,
The reality became too hard to swallow.
Somehow the days we shared together became weeks, turned into months, and then years..
I remember everything about you.
How couldn't I?
The way your forehead knotted with frustration,
The way your eyes lit up with passion,
The way you uncomfortably smiled through agonizingly awkward situations,
The way your voice got deeper when you got serious,
The way your nose wrinkled as you woke up..
And the way... the way our eyes met, followed with a smirk in a room full of people.
You always knew how to make me weak to my knees, but also back on my feet.
Because see, I might've loved you so much that I forgotten myself.
I might've swung between hope and despair in your slightest gesture..
But the intensity of how I felt for you, will no longer tolerate what you showed your love to be like. A gamble.
I thought of myself as deranged.
I mean, how couldn't I?
I didn't want to live the rest of my life without you, but I also didn't want to live the rest of my life with what you've given me.
I guess It's safe to say that the one who won this fateful war in my heart, is whomever I loved more.

#love #heartbreak #war #peace #sadness #happiness #breakup #healing #inlove #experiences

Feb 2016 · 710

Cheap love

Angelica Agatha Villanueva Feb 2016

Cheap love

The face of his love was meant to build,
but the content was made to deteriorate me.
I never knew that I could ever lose myself,
until I found you.

#love #heartbreak #self #heart #pain #hurt #darkness #breakup #inlove #lose

Sep 2015 · 504

The last time

Angelica Agatha Villanueva Sep 2015

The last time

As I sit infront of the mirror,
Tears flood my face
"This is the last time" I thought to myself.
This is the last time I will ever cry for you,
The last time I will ever be this broken,
This is the last time I will ever love you.
I smiled and said to my reflection..
"Chin up, you pathetic thing. Cherish this moment with pride.. Because this is the last time you will feel this way."

#love #relationships #past #failure #her #him #breakup #heartbroken #inlove #crash

Sep 2015 · 3.6k

I gave it to you

Angelica Agatha Villanueva Sep 2015

I gave it to you

It may have never been enough,
It may have been in pieces,
****, It may even have been the worst you've ever gotten..
But I gave you the best parts of me.
I gave you all of what's left of me.

#love #iloveyou #**** #nothing #inlove #emptiness #fuckyou #ilovedyou #yougaveuponme #itwasneverenough

Aug 2015 · 721

Recommence

Angelica Agatha Villanueva Aug 2015

Recommence

Broke my heart open to shed a new light,
Freedom seeks me,
But fright latched on,
Victim of a crime,
but charged like a prisoner.
Your love is cheap,
your love was fraud.
Deception was the objective.
Emptiness, sadness and desperation had long departed.
The mind had been lost,
the heart had been shattered,
Pieces had been forgotten.
Trampled on, like a stampede in a zoo
All kinds of creatures,
beautiful, fierce, and over seen.
Like lies, manipulation, and regrets...
Was it all for nothing?
Stronger than before,
but weaker by default.
In need of saving in this never ending tribulation,
Definition of seeking obstacles.
A soul's greatest desire,
but the heart's wont comply.
A friend, and a foe...
A walking paradox.

#love #feelings #sadness #happiness #heartbroken #live #inlove #emptiness #startingover #restarting

Aug 2015 · 2.3k

Two months

Angelica Agatha Villanueva Aug 2015

Two months

It's been two whole months since I've last seen your face.
That's 61 days, 1464 hours, 87840 minutes, 5 270 400 seconds, and for every aching moment...
I just sit back and devour the pain, hoping that it will all go away.

#love #ex #pain #sadness #time #breakup #misery #missingsomeone #heartkbroken

— The End —