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Sep 2023 · 112
hello boy who is me
am i ee Sep 2023
hello boy,
who is me!

you don't answer,
so i see.

you are me.
don't you see?

lost in duality!

you and me.

~~~

2023 esk
#nonduality #love #loss #bofriend #adaita #wonder #life
Jun 2023 · 318
eileen's dream
am i ee Jun 2023
eileen’s dream


was it you?
was it us?

was it you as me?
was it me as you?

shifting, changing
polarities, dualities

did eileen ever
have any dream?

or just this waking one
intermixed with her
sleeping ones?

or was it just a cigar
named for an eileen?



~esk June 2023
Feb 2023 · 989
sometimes it hurts instead
am i ee Feb 2023
sitting alone

surprises appear

fun ensues

wonder ensues

life, lessons..

so much

I’m not ready
to have you leave me

you have so much more

to teach me


I know your heart hurts
i know you are tired

I know your barrel is almost empty
but just don’t leave me now

I need you

and
i  think you need me now
too
life is sweet pain and sweet bliss
don't give up. it is delicious pain and joy
live it to the fullest
it is too short .. go for it
in all its manifestations;
Dec 2022 · 163
another day in duality
am i ee Dec 2022
My heart unfurls
from this dip in duality

Smile appears
laughter erupts

Ah, you got me
yet again

Duality my
fun little friend


How peaceful it is
to step back again

Space to breathe
space to see you

as ME


~nbnmnt. 26 Dec 2022
Dec 2022 · 149
the new boyfriend
am i ee Dec 2022
the new boyfriend
now the gone boyfriend

such fun we did have
that first morning

what is your name?
I can't remember yours either

how much fun is that
after a crazy night

barking dog
wandering paws

such delight

hotels, bars, roads
in common

lives lived in parallel
at the same time

movies, songs
memories

laughter, yoking
such great fun

chasms of differences
matriarchy patriarchy

making someone into
what you like

i've been there too
how funny to have you

do that to me too

endless days
and nights

of talking
dancing

voraciously consuming
one another's forms

ah the adventure
ah the divine touch

seeing yourself in
the other

duality at its
very very best

duality at its
very very worst

you can't save another
nor fix them

the road
is a solitary one

the work is hard
and it plumbs the depth of your soul

of who you are

don't waste your time
in this life

recognize who
and what you are

we are ALL
the ONE

see yourself in
each and every creature

each and every being
every tree

every star
every celestial object

each and every drop of rain
and every body of water

laugh like a child
cry like a child

love like there is no tomorrow

nothing is ever lost
only changing form


om mani padme hung
may all live lives of ease, of health, of happiness, of infinite love
Dec 2022 · 568
Three Months
am i ee Dec 2022
got myself a new boyfriend
turned out to be my twin

almost

never laughed so hard
cried so much

danced so long

moaned in ecstasy so many times
well there goes that vow of celibacy

re-entering this manifested existence
a little quiz from the absolute

7 years of silence and stillness and solitude
turned on its head

Oh the joy
the delicious pain of
feeling

duality
isn't it a hoot?

and now he is gone

where will this roller coaster end
this time?

will he ever reappear again?
am i ee Sep 2022
friends just  left

moon shines bright

such a good night

:  )

love to all !!!
Aug 2022 · 77
little police
am i ee Aug 2022
those that want to tell everyone what to do


simply exhausting

simply inane

modern suburban life
crazy & annoying
written in Aug 2022
Aug 2022 · 125
summer times
am i ee Aug 2022
why did I go out?

why did I step out?

times are so much
worse

people paranoid

dollars made upon fear

what the ****

is going on here?!
Aug 2022 · 395
sad times
am i ee Aug 2022
fearful

worries about what
might happen


times have changed

sad


people watching
expecting the worst

what has happened?

these are sad times

$500,000 for security
for fun!

rather crazy if you ask me.

I shall return to silence
to solitude
to stillness

humans?

who needs them!
Jul 2022 · 1.8k
Sexting!
am i ee Jul 2022
seems way too complicated

loses lots of something in the translation.

suppose pictures are part of that?

but really?

just wear a hat!
what ever happened to the good old ways?
being in person?
who knows what you are getting on the
other digital end?
not for me!
I say with glee!
May 2022 · 1.9k
46 minutes
am i ee May 2022
46 minutes of my life ticking away
listening to your insecurities.

46 minutes of my life ticking away
listening to you wrapping yourself in knots
over what people might think.

46 minutes of may life ticking away
where I could have been laughing.

46 minutes of my life ticking away
where I could have been with the ONE.

Stop worrying about what other people THINK!
who cares what they think!

What do you think?
or not?!
May 2022 · 2.4k
2:30 am
am i ee May 2022
2:30 am

dark,
quiet.

gentle rain falls,

silent but for the drops.
blessed silence in the middle of the night in the modern suburban hell
am i ee May 2022
Puppyhead leapt,
up
from bed,
to the door she raced.

special high pitched bark
reserved for the fox.

learned did I,
the hard way,
not to open the door.

not to let puppyhead
go racing out,
full speed ahead,
out into the night.

wild and free,
and right straight
after
yet another
wild life.

so we watch,
from behind
closed door,

peering out into
the dark of the night.

shadow moving around,
surveilling the ground,
a white tipped tail
barely visible as past it moves.

mean feel I,
for not opening
that door.

puppyhead barks,
ooks up at my head,
then out to that yard.

"Why can't I be out there
now,
alone with that fox?"

learned I,
the hard way,
puppyhead won't
back down.

neither will the
wild nocturnal creatures,
who visit our den,

during the very dark,
the dark,
of the middle of the night.

so I creep silently
up the stairs,
every so quietly,

so puppyhead
won't hear,
won't want to follow,
won't want to come,
out here with me instead.

open a door,
do I,
a door to a deck.

alone stand I
peering down into the dark,
the dark of the night.

hearing that fox
moving about,
creeping along fence line,

finding a place,
a place of
escape.

almost free,
to continue to roam
through this night,
this dark,
& beautiful night.

she leaps in one
graceful arc,
up and over
high gate.

pads off she goes,
into this night,

roaming along
this solitary creature,

taking such free flight
on this magical night.
12 May 2022 magical visits by nocturnal creatures in surprising twists amidst this life in this modern suburban hell.
May 2022 · 1.4k
the Moon calling me again
am i ee May 2022
the moon started
calling to me
tonight,
from out
of my deep slumber.

whispering silently,

'come on out,
visit with me
just for a bit,
sit with me for a spell.'

she said.


had to get up,
out from under my warm covers,
out from my warm bed,

to step outside ,
to commune with her again.  

in this quiet,still
this silent, part of this night.  



Just me,
and the moon,
and
this glorious cold night!
Such relief from the inane activity
of ‘civilized’ suburbia)
am i ee May 2022
Huge snapping turtle
caught on the stepping stones

puppyhead startled
me, am amazed

prehistoric in shape
adds magic

to this rainy
spring
morning
May 2022 · 987
tears on the mac
am i ee May 2022
if you cry
and your tears
fall on your mac

do they harm it
or make it work forever?
published first in 2015 making another round
am i ee May 2022
hmmm,

'makes a dune of sandy wasted time'...

feeling that line settle in.  

Eliciting a tingle,
up my spine,
through my circuits,
in my organism.  

Words well worth pondering.  

But wait
there is more...



thanks for the new word
fellow poet here,

'thew',

who knew?

that one so good,
existed,
out there,
for me,
and
for you?



*thanks Richard Barnes!
Thank you Richard Barnes 16h.   for the inspiration your poem gave this morning.


...a dune of sandy wasted time.
Old age,
feel the strength
not from height or thew, but
By a heart profoundly stirred
by prophetic eyes through and through,
the fullness of the past,
But were we ever young?
Now a prison of weary pain
Dull remembrance of what has changed.
Thrown off the cliff of time with
mists that clogs a future pantomime
when it all ends as  the hour glass sands
makes a dune of sandy wasted time.

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4578938/a-dune-of-sandy-wasted-time/
May 2022 · 2.2k
i love Springtime Rain
am i ee May 2022
i love
springtime
rain.

Huge thunderstorm
came through
here
last night.  

Bright flashes of
lightening,
torrential downpour
cascading down.

Raindrops
batterting
Mother Earth's
thirsty ground.


Puppyhead did not
love it
like i.

She took herself
off to her stair.

The thunder booming
and
shaking,

My poor puppyhead
laid trembling there.

Unable to comfort
her,
to make her understand
how wonderful
this storm is.

Perhaps she feels
something
deeper than me?

More power,
more energy
of
that storm
raging there?





I think I feel a poem coming on...
Many thanks this early morn to Lori Jones McCaffery snd her Perfect triolet DOWNPOUR
thought i felt a poem coming on reading hers...
Apr 2022 · 2.4k
The lights i Love
am i ee Apr 2022
Firelight
Candlelight

Matchlight
Lantern light

Star light
Moon light

These are the lights I love!

Soothing light,
warm light,

peaceful light,
Natural light.

Mother Nature
Designed by her,

Her grand plan
Utter perfection!
Apr 2022 · 2.1k
mad all over again
am i ee Apr 2022
I went outside
to visit
the moon
the other night.

And the lights
from across the street
were shining
into my eyes
all over again.

So I got mad
all over again
and went inside
and took up
my pen.

~ 17 April 2022
Never thought about it...too bright lights?  Light pollution? Your stinkin' bright lights trespassing, blinding people, killing the nocturnal creatures?  
Well, think about it! NOW!

www.darkskyfriends.org
Jan 2022 · 435
Obituaries
am i ee Jan 2022
93, 94, 95

watching the obituaries
when will it come?

for the one I love?

the one who gave
birth to me?

years flow by

ups and downs
so many forgotten.

tears and fears
washed away by time.

silently we sit,
content,
now

and perhaps
for all of time.
Jan 2022 · 795
foot prints in new snow
am i ee Jan 2022
stepped out
bare footed

left prints
in falling snow
Dec 2021 · 1.0k
Lights too bright
am i ee Dec 2021
Lights too bright,
  End the night.

No more stars,
  No more planets,

No more dreams of
  Lands and creatures
    
Far far away,
  Far light years away.
Dec 2021 · 840
Far, far away ... on a star
am i ee Dec 2021
Far, far, away

On a star
light years away,

A little piece waited
for two lovers to meet,

embraced in sweet divine emotion,
the little star piece
set itself free.

Racing to earth across the sky,
lighting a trail as it streaked by.

Landing alight in the midst of this love
its life on this planet,
this planet earth,
stirred.

Never suspecting  that when it broke free,
that it might never find its way back,
back to its home,
back to the rest of its star.

Great velvety black heavens disappearing
with great speed,

By some human need
to be surrounded by light ,
every day,
and all through the night.

Lost in the heavens
when its time
was done.                                  

This little star piece floated free,
floating forever.

For it couldn’t see its star,
it couldn’t find it in the night.

Couldn’t find it,
for all the artificial bright light.

It couldn’t find its home,
so it was destined to roam,

Across the great sky,
All day,
every day.  

And

All night,
every night.
(Many thanks to Mary Adams and her wonderful presentation The Stargazer as a Storyteller, at the IDA 2021 Global Conference for inspiring this poem and sharing her gift of teaching about some of the great human stories.)

International Dark Sky Association. www.darksky.org
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYOMk55OFBQ
Dec 2021 · 1.7k
Stop mommies, Stop daddies
am i ee Dec 2021
Stop mommies, stop daddies

I want to see the stars too,
And chase the lightening bugs like you.

Don’t **** the night,
With all of our lights.

Save it for me.
Don’t steal it with your new bought glee.

May we turn out our lights?
Maybe for just one night?

So that I can raise my eyes,
To the stars above,

And feel the magic and mystery,
The velvety black night brings,          

For now,
And for all of eternity.

Now may we turn down our lights,
And turn some off too,

So that I can grow,
Under this star filled sky

Free from  the glow,
For the rest of my life?

And my children’s
and their children’s too?
take a look at the International Dark Sky Association www.darksky.org. feel free to share this poem to raise awareness.  My heart breaks about how terrible this situation is evolving.  Fortunately I have had half a life without it being too bad... but I want everyone to be able to see the stars when they walk out their front, or back, door.  Will this be the last generation to be able to see stars?
am i ee Dec 2021
Feline Love in the time of LEDs


“Honey, I’m just not feeling it”.
I said this silently to her, constantly.

“The moon and the stars and the planets
sing to me, an orchestra of nature and
eternal time intertwined.”

“Mother nature directing this divine symphony.”

“These new lights just don’t do it for me.”

Finally she noticed,
the great change in my mood,
feeling something amiss,
something terribly, terribly amiss.

She packed us up,
and into the caravan we went.

Rustic canvas over our heads,
wood burning stove next to our bed.

Ah, finally the life of traveling the paths,
living by the light of the fire,
the gentle descending of the night.

Tuned into mother nature’s time,
soft, peaceful and divine.

We traveled here and traveled there,
over many a year.

Then one night ,
One full harvest moon night,

High on a cliff,
Deep in the night,
Silent and still and cold,

She shed every stitch that covered her frame
And opened her arms to the celestial rain.

Rays from heaven pouring down,  
illuminating her shape,
saturating Earth’s lovely ground.

Dancing about,
surrounded by stars twinkling,
Milky Way flowing,
With not a trace of restraint,

The moon and stars and the night
sang to her soul,
sang to every fiber of her being,
sang to her every bone.

‘You see, Mother Nature knows the cycles that feed the soul.’ I  whispered to her,
in my softly purring voice.

‘This is what I have been trying to tell you for all these years.’

Waking from this trance,
She tapped out a message,
read it aloud,

I QUIT!

I quit designing LEDs and the bright artificial lights
that destroy the glorious night.

I quit this nightmare of a job!
I quit this life of a thief,
this one of stealing the stars!
I quit this very night!

That is,
unless I’m allowed to design the
smart dark-sky friendly lights
that I so love now,
that bring such subtle delight.


She threw her smart phone over the cliff,
this device hurtling down so quick,  
shaking the very earth with each bounce to the ground.

As she stood bare under the moon,
Bare under the stars,
Bare under the planets
And bare to Mars.

For the first time in so many a year,
I jumped up sinuously,
right up,
straight into her arms.

Startled,
she laughed with such joy,
hugging me close,
so close and so near.

My lovely silky fur,
warming her frame,
warming her heart.

Snuggled so close
and snuggled so tight,

I purred once again
out loud on this night,
in absolute delight.

The ground rumbled beneath
the two of us,

shaking and quaking
the earth so near.

The stars up above
twinkled with joy,
at this sight of loving tight.

Dancing overhead,
streaking through across the sky,
celebrating on this night,

one more little human
remembering again,
the magic and mystery,
of the black sparkling night,
spreading out forever above.

We danced together under the
rejoicing stars,
holding each other tight.

My sweet, now smart,
little human
and me.


~ the Feline
am i ee Dec 2021
Star light, Star bright
How will I find my puppy tonight?


Star light, star bright
Where did you go tonight?

It seems like a dream,
when billions of you sparkled
overhead each night.

Orion and Cassiopeia,
Pleiades and the dippers,
big and twinkling and bright.

Outlined across the dark sky,
creating such wonder,
bringing such delight.

The years creeped along,
the artificial lights growing strong,          

Til one night,
you all but disappeared.

Billions of years,
you glowed,
strong & bright each night.

Wondrous, filling each with awe,
mysterious & sacred,
You brought to us,
every little being looking up.

Humans peppered the earth,
inventions spreading out.

Fires and candles,
torches and lamps.

Hardly 100 years have passed,
since Thomas Edison discovered
a new glow.

Now this new light,
casting an eerie glow,
obscuring the dark night.

Tis not too late
to reclaim our lost fate.

Gazing up in wonder,
with a flick of a switch,
or a shade drawn near,
brings back our precious dark night.


Star light, star bright,
don’t abandon us this night!

How will i ever find my puppy,
so high in the sky,
tonight?



~~~~~~~~~~~
or maybe for the ending?




Star light star bright,
how will i ever find my puppy tonight?
Dec 2021 · 1.0k
Love in the time of LEDs
am i ee Dec 2021
Love in the time of LEDs



“Honey, I’m just not feeling it”.
She said this to me, constantly.

“The moon and the stars and the planets
sing to me, an orchestra of nature and
eternal time intertwined.”

“Mother nature directing this divine symphony.”

“These new lights just don’t do it for me.”

We traveled here and traveled there,
over many a year.

Then one night ,
One full harvest moon night,

High on a cliff,
Deep in the night,
Silent and still and cold,

She shed every stitch that covered her frame
And opened her arms to the celestial rain.

Rays from heaven pouring down,  
illuminating her shape,
saturating Earth’s lovely ground.

Dancing about,
With not a trace of restraint,

The moon and stars and the night
Sang to her soul,
Sang to every fiber of her being,
Sang to her every bone.

‘You see, Mother Nature knows the cycles that feed the soul.’ she whispered to me, in her soft and sultry voice.

Watching, transfixed, drawn into the dance,
surrounded by stars twinkling,
Milky Way flowing,

Waking from this trance,
I tapped out a message,
read it aloud,

I QUIT!

I quit selling LEDs and the bright artificial lights.
I quit this nightmare of a job!
I quit this life of a thief,
this one of stealing the stars!
I quit this very night!

I threw my smart phone over the cliff,
each article of clothing removed,
following quick.          

I stood bare under the moon,
Bare under the stars,
Bare under the planets
And  bare to Mars.

Well?  I asked hesitantly,
hope having dimmed for so many a year.

‘We’ll see.’ she replied to me

A tiny smile appearing upon her lips,
A small promising twinkle coming to her eye,

For the first time in all these many years.


For the first time my heart leapt,
beating with this hint of hope,
beating with joy,

under this majestic,
star studded,
inky black,
huge moon filled,
cold,
silent,
magical,
night sky!
am i ee Oct 2021
Time flies so quickly,
wasn't it only yesterday i was pecking away?

Poetry flowing through my fingers,
not knowing what i said.

But laughing years later,
re-reading where it led.

Dark nights, cold winter
is coming soon.

A new puppyhead keeps me company
through all the many moons.
reminded of all the wonderful poets i met here before, hoping many of you are still writing and we'll be in touch again.
Apr 2016 · 816
feathers
am i ee Apr 2016
delicate small black feather
spotted and dotted in white
you bring such delight

small lightish-grey feather
having come to rest in the gutter
there you are found

an expected surprise this morning,
want to travel along, a little way,
with me?
Apr 2016 · 620
spring early morning
am i ee Apr 2016
peaceful, dark,
rainy morning
with puppy & tea
Mar 2016 · 647
grey sky
am i ee Mar 2016
sky
blanketed in gray

brings calm, tranquility
peace
Mar 2016 · 429
empty months
am i ee Mar 2016
no little snores in the middle of the night
nor any as i read or write

deafening quiet
no sweet breathing to keep me company

no patter of paws
across the floor

or lapping from bowls of water....

no knocking at the door
in the dark of the night

owl and fox
out back, nocturnal delight

you left me so suddenly
can't believe it is really still true

but you sent me a new
little friend to love just like i did you...
Mar 2016 · 772
never looked back
am i ee Mar 2016
she jumped out of the truck
looking, sniffing, exploring, wanting to run

future unknown
past unknown

a free little spirit
now entwined with another

hopped into the back seat
settled in for the ride

to who knows where?

she never looked back....
am i ee Mar 2016
hawk greets
trees bare
empty paths

water flowing
goose ***** into river
heron takes flight

red headed woodpecker
flits from tree to tree
a happy morning sight

footsteps crunching dry leaves
deer dash off in a rush
white tails high

first morning of the new third month
this in year of the Fire Monkey....
Feb 2016 · 370
finding a way back
am i ee Feb 2016
finding my way back
day by day ...
moment by moment...

but who am i?
what am i?

and
what is there to find
a way back to?
Feb 2016 · 453
straying from The Way
am i ee Feb 2016
straying from The Way
disharmony ensues,
confusion arises.

caught in the forms,
spinning ever outward,
deep peace lost.

moving with the forms,
ever distracting.

following deer trails,
far from the roads and paths,
alone, in Silence....

The Way arises again.

it was never lost,
only obscured.

Returning to The Way...
heart settles...
mind stills...
peace prevails.
Feb 2016 · 783
late afternoon sun
am i ee Feb 2016
late afternoon sun
streaming through the glass door

rays shining on pine needles
and bare tree branches
Feb 2016 · 386
ashes
am i ee Feb 2016
a friend, a teacher, a love, a companion
so warm and full of life.
reduced to grey ashes,
a small bag full.

finality in the clearest terms.
deep sorrow wells up.
hard to remember non-duality
when duality stares you in the face.

om mani padme hung
am i ee Feb 2016
tall red rubber boots on this rainy morning
bring me joy, happiness.
stomping in the puddles,
hiking in the wet wet leaves.

standing still as the raindrops
pour down over umbrella,
drops pounding the pond with intensity,
watching mother nature in action.

still winter but with little
signs of spring emerging.
green green shoots of jonquil leaves,
a bit of sun and warm will bring color.

for now the trunks of the trees are grey
and branches bare.
crows caw on this quiet wet morning
flitting from branch to branch before taking flight.

raindrops mix with creek water,
rushing down over rocks
and logs,
dams created.

such beauty and peace
on this raw morning,
such profound love is found
in the stillness and silence...

in Mother Nature
in the Tao.....
Feb 2016 · 885
lost...misplaced
am i ee Feb 2016
losing things...
misplacing life

stuffed animals
a ring
articles of clothing
books
a memory
a name

all small deaths
reminders of
the impermanence
we exist within

the losing
grows

first crushes
early loves
dear animals
friendships

years pass
loss hastens

deaths come
quickly
unexpectedly
slowly
agonizingly

ever surreal
when they do come

using the small losses
as practice for the larger ones

over and over
letting go
breathing in
breathing out

all remains perfect
as it is
as it unfolds

in eternal harmony
with
the Tao
Feb 2016 · 918
battlefield
am i ee Feb 2016
open fields
blue mountains
hawks soaring
woods ringing
silence & peace
Feb 2016 · 318
small beings
am i ee Feb 2016
little children...
just like little monkeys,
little any young creature,
are strong and resilient,
brave and crafty,
smart and imaginative.

why are they pampered,
living lives under the
illusion of protection?

there is no way to prevent
the hurt, the danger,
the demise.

why not school the little ones
in skills that will take
them through a full life?

a life free from fear imagined
at every turn.
a life skilled at seeing through
the illusion, the delusion.

personal fear projected outward,
only multiplying it
myriad times over.

take stock of what you do...
what you think...
what you say...

perhaps you will alter it
today ....
Feb 2016 · 227
another part of me
am i ee Feb 2016
cruel and hateful,
the words spewed
this way,
toward this me.

couched in pretense,
at one time
of love and caring,
how quickly it shifts.

reeling from the
viciousness,
a small smile
creeps in.

silly you,
that is just
another
part of you...
am i ee Feb 2016
sun falling,
toward setting.

birds singing,
trail friend stops.

owl hoots
reassuring.

looking in,
nothing there.

peace,
always ...
is.
Feb 2016 · 304
fear
am i ee Feb 2016
fear......

gnawing at me
at night,
as i wake
long before
light.

why?!

what is there
to fear?

wandering through
life, watching
fear at every turn.

small wonder
people are
so timid,
so cynical,
so angry,
so afraid.

does a gun
chase it away?

do all the locks
and screenings
keep it at bay?

loud voices,
TV, internet
print, radio
only scream out..
BE AFRAID

schools locked up
tight...

can you keep
fear out?

schooling an entire
generation in
paranoia &
visceral fear

oh how welcome
the drugs become.
bandaids for
imaginary monsters
and goblins
and immigrants.

don't look in.
why, believe
all the spin.

make yourself ill
worrying & hurrying.
running and hiding.

nothing can ever
save you,
nothing can ever
protect you,
but your own
mind,
your very
own perspective.

give into the
fear monger ers,
might as well
give up the fight.

what sort of life
it is to
live with
fear gnawing
at your gut and
heart,

every night
and
every day?
Feb 2016 · 5.8k
recalibration
am i ee Feb 2016
sitting in this mass of humanity
recalibrating.

sorrows unfolding
joys riping.

easy to judge
easy to dismiss.

difficult to be
compassionate.

difficult to see
everyone as yourself.

the illusion
shifting & changing.

tears and laughter
that is all one can do.

ever the duality
of nature.

ever following
natural laws.

resisting,
going against the flow.

only brings struggle
and difficulty.

surrendering to
it all.

moving along
in the flow.

breath comes
easy.

breath comes
deeply.

softening a
stance.

understanding a
glance.

easing your heart
melting your hurt.

the sun shines above
the pine trees sway in the breeze.

all moves along
as it is meant to be.
Feb 2016 · 910
masks
am i ee Feb 2016
how many do you wear?
do you even know that
you are wearing them?

can you see through all
the other masks?

or does it become a confusion
you cannot extricate yourself
from?

entertaining the thought
that you have many masks
is a beginning.

which ones bring you strength?
truth?
peace?
equanimity?

which ones pull you
deep into delusion?
lost in casting yourself as
a victim?

lost in hedonistic pleasure?
seemingly fun... but
at its core
suffering in another
mask....

chasing highs
never stopping
never going inward
never finding the silence

living in fear
attracting spirits
that feed off of fear.

how to climb out?

a practice lived with
great faith
a practice lived with
great doubt

great motivation
ensues

truth revealed
bliss realized.
Feb 2016 · 480
morning... snowing
am i ee Feb 2016
waking to white falling
cold flakes
white & each unique

weariness plucks at my
heart
another day?

another way?

serene beauty
balm to a restless
soul

what are we here for?
is there ever an answer
that will stay?

questions
shifting & changing
answers too.

motion & stillness
happy & sad
love & hate

only mother nature
feeds the soul
these days.

drawing back
drawing away
from the illusory play.

deep winter
don't leave me yet...
it has been too short.

i need such deep rest.

lingering in her dark
womb
resting

mother nature,
don't hurry
the sunlight.

plants asleep under
the ground
i sleep with you.

alone and still
peace
reigns

so many wish
for spring
me...

i'll stay here
in winter
again & again....
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