Often have dreams been frightful
Seldom are they delightful
Elaborately a world created
Disastrously that world faded
Opening eyes to witness nothings changed
Closing eyes to hide how it's pained
In that moment that was dreamt
What could that dream have meant
The gaze was true as it had been
A dream brought to end
I envy those who have beautiful dreams. Even those who look forward to dreaming. Over the last few years mine have done nothing but frighten or torment me. Last night I had a dream and wished it never ended.
Years have passed
Moments of pique
Life's taken a blast
Feelings turned meek
A Heart's defeat
A Bird most missed
Those lips once kissed
This body's hollowed
Love is War
War is Love
How could one **** a Dove? .
It's been so long and I've come to realize: This scar's pain won't leave me and I deserve it.
I walk this road,
I betrayed my ode.
Once again, gave in to chance.
Once again, speared by lance.
Walls I've built to trust and hold.
Seem to always crumble and fold.
This naught be the way,
I plan to go about my day.
Take rest once more,
Yet it hurts the core.
This heart I've wore,
I care not to restore.
Acceptance as a virtue,
Will cause this new curfew.
Solitude is foreseen,
Inside must not intervene.
Pushed away my thoughts
And all they've sought.
For what they've brought,
Has never stayed.
I told myself long ago- give up trying, but as long as the heart beats it always screams "give love another chance- always."
I'll leave it to deaf ears now and act as if I cannot hear those screams.
And remain alone.
Drawing back the sinew
Tension silently increasing
Bolt of betrayal, crashing within you
Impaled with a feeling never ceasing
Dampened, darkened, and discarded
Forged a world, now laid to rot in
Joyous sung our choirs verses
filled with vile sicken curses
From those once loved
Now we share their song
Closure doesn't exist, you only learn how to live with the pain.
A painter's dream,
Feathers of such color,
This bird was like no other.
Seldom a company shared
Her song sung tweet,
delivering grace to the ears so sweet.
From love to Quill.
With every color shed,
these feathers are the chapter's tread
Little Birdie fly.
Staring up at the sky,
only makes me cry.
Your time with some living beings may be short, Like the sighting of a rare bird, So always remember the awe and love more than the departure. I'll never let go of the feathers the bird dropped.
Results may vary,
Among the wary.
Life is seamless,
Until you're dreamless.
Through all beauty and all fault.
Never stop, never halt.
Learn from when you fall.
Until Death makes his call.
Never give up
The world's evolving around me into a place I no longer belong...
Or maybe I've evolved in a way I no longer belong in the world...
If we could only unEvolve back
Who's in these shoes?
Wait .. weight..? wait!!
I feel my sole ripping
Weight? Weight!? Wait....
A stranger behind the wheel
Wait.. Wait! No Wait!
He's caused all this pain I feel
The wait for this weights extinction
Has rot the strength to stand straight
Only to question if the weight is fiction
Or is it that I just have to wait to feel great
Grabbing that wheel can be hard at times
So some choose to fly auto pilot style
Closing their eyes and failing at their primes
Crashing when the auto pilot style dies
Was it the weight? Or the wait?
Who's to say?
We all wait for the weight of Death's great arrival
Hard to wait for weight to release- you have to find a way to release it or it will crush you. Heaviest weights are often the ones you've put onto yourself.
A fish of Two
has always been
One scale of gold
one scale of jet.
Sharing a current
within a body of Water.
The scale of gold tries
to swim with grace,
when it finds its pace
the scale of jet
attacks to steal it's place
The fish will fight
Jet will win.
Gold will lose some scales
Are they one Fish?
Growing takes time,
So does healing.
The scab began to itch
And with it removed
A wound inflicted upon us both
Open wounds bleed.
We slowly walked together in beautiful metronome
Until you felt the blood trickle down and the burn of pain rush through you..
Breaking two promises at once
Both mine to you and mine to myself
So I became a recluse
And alone I sat
And with that this may be
The last entry I'll be able to scratch down
For I might be thrown into a dark place
Which is something deserved, but not for the crime they say, but the one I feel inside.
Breaking the heart of an innocent's love causes so much damage.
After ripping off my own scab, I gave you one too and now both of our hearts have bled.
And I am to blame.
and I cannot take on another-
This isn't meant to be a poem, nor even shared, but maybe it'll reach you one day.
I'm truly sorry for ever hurting you. Trust and believe if I could go back I would, but you'll have a much happier life without me. I'll always think of you.
Now we sit
Here to smoke
We pray to have
The strongest ****
Fill our lungs
and let the High
come over thee
Made in 2012 in collaboration with my roommates at the time. Thanks Kimmy, Luke, Ryan, and Kimmie S.
The 420 at the end is supposed to be the "Amen" to finish the prayer.
The air seems to have thickened
Since the casting of Autumn's last curse.
Much thicker this year than any before
It'll be seasons before its safe to breathe again..
In adolescence is where you can find the seed
Germinating the withering Tree of Life within.
Autumn's curse changed these leaves
As the last leaf falls, it will be forgotten.
Shedding that final leaf tends to be the most painful.
She whispered softly to me one night:
"Life through Death is the only way to grow."
Seasons change everything.
Every September has had some type of life changing event for me, good or bad.
2021 has been 2nd hardest behind 1999 when I lost my father.
When did it become hard to write of beauty?
This life's wonderment has been annulled from me,
As if a punishment for some crime.
Now each day slips from the last, melting into a sea of foggy memory.
I only blinked to find the words have all disappeared.
Replaced by a much darker absence of beauty.
Silence is in abundance here, yet no tranquillity.
All that spills out are the cries and pain.
Has time sped up? Or am I just phasing out of it?
Has time slowed down? Or am I just slipping into it?
Where did the time we spent go? Was it wasted time?
Where do we keep our memories? Are they in that time?
Amusing it can be how time's pace differs depending on whats going on.
What I felt
I felt alone
It wasnt until
The realization hit
When I looked down at the pain
Emitting from where the heart should lay
That the feeling was singular
Signaling in for a brutal winter's arrival.
That winter came and it's brutality overthrew the Rook.
The next could be us,
Ponder the connection?
Soldiers of Lives
Peons of the Eons
Messengers of Millennia
Souls of Seasons
Hands; smooth, tender
Eyes; sensitive, splendor
Heart; calloused, hardened
Soul; damaged , darkened
Two kingdoms, one Land
Reign of Heart, leads to hand in hand
Monarchy of Mind, breeds chaos in the silence
Duel kingdoms, inner conflicts under one alliance
The next could be us,
But not quite us.
A Nexus of souls our world witnesses.
Am I to be insulted?
Correction; my love.....no.. no-my lust for knowledge is insatiable
Proud to be, in the ways that I'm stuck, to ponder the who's, the when's, the why's and the whats. I thrive to pursue the touch of intelligence to quench the aching must. A combination of patience, self-discipline, determination, and dedication will construct any road you wish to travel in this Nation.
So call me a Nerd, oh i know, I take pride in the fact that I know facts, in fact I bet that that fact alone is why you react by recalling that: I'm a Nerd.
Been called a Nerd all my life. People fail to realize I do not view it as an insult. :D
I call myself Trash
To be thrown away
But not yet broken
Found full of dismay
Delivered by both kin
Among the cans and debris
My life's left to me
A piece of trash, I will be
Only in your eyes, you'll see
One's trash is another's treasure
This holds true as I measure
When I count all times I leisure
And all the times filled with pleasure
So always remember
When you're feeling in the dumps
That you may be a member
Of the TrashCan Slumps
But that doesn't mean
You lack value or worth
In fact it shows your character's scene:
A Treasure to this Earth
I call myself trash because I know I'm someone's Treasure.
Sabotage is one
The other carbon
Sometimes it'll ache
Others will harden
Balance is found
But destruction follows
A fool laughs
While his world crumbles
The Jester's smile
Yet it may be a daunting task
to finally see it's just a mask
Do you view the world through your eyes, mind, or heart?
Blood is thicker than water they say
Forget to mention it drowns you faster they may
But through all the discomfort and dismay
Blood is thicker than water they say
If you want to live, water is a must
Your own blood is what you should trust
Seems my family's bonds were rust
Upon which I submit it to dust
Like a stab wound with no knife
A house with no knight
Your lifeline rope, tied in a hangman's knot
At no surprise to me for all this I knew.
Love and support were always lacking
I'd watch as families shared smiles
Just to be envious to walk those miles
Instead I got a much different love.. Trials.
Write, written, wrote, and rot
Speak, spoken, spoke, and draught
Life's lessons, soon forgot
Another chapter laid to thought
Chances not given
Chances taken away
Two different edges
On this sharp blade
Both cut deep into different victims
Same blood spilled,
but drip from different wrists.
One and Twenty-Six
Has always been haunting.
Two and Twenty-Five
Has always been daunting.
Three and Twenty-Four
Was his last year to see
Four and Twenty-Three
Will this number take me?
Five and Twenty-Two
Was his end, not mine
Six and Twenty-One
My beginning, I'm fine
Seven and Twenty
May he rest peacefully
Twenty and Seven
May he rest in Heaven.
To my Father.
As the trees aspire
We begin to tire
Another way the seasons came
Yet delivered all the same
Tides of change, crash on bay
Remain alone, not more to say
Scars atone, or maybe nay
But just as strange, begins the day
As the Sun appears and falls asleep
The darkness rushes to take the leap
The land has darken, though some may sleep
Our Beautiful moon makes a peep
From behind her mask, I sense a rush
A smile so soft, reveals her touch
The Moon removes her veil of clouds
For us to witness its beautiful pale blush
Wicks make bubbles, fuel to the flame
Some fun, some practice, some ritual,
Soot blacken hands, Express what was desired
More seasons pass, more reasons left exspired
Days come and go.
Nights come and go.
Both are only measurements
Time is eternal
Crazy how there's bone, blood, and tissue inside but it feels real hollow.
Crazy how we use ourselves to make money even if it's hard to swallow.
Crazy how a dream can bring a truth to follow.
Crazy how that want to live starts to wallow.
Crazy how boys can be evil and mean. Crazy how girls can be evil and scheme. Crazy how the Angels Wings turned black at night.
Crazy how the Demon smiles at the sight
To see the air
Would make me smile
But to feel its touch
Would make me shiver.
To embrace the fire
Would keep me warm
But I tried to get to close
Only to be burned.
To hold the Earth
Must be cautious
Rocks can crumble too.
To swim with the Water
was fun, until she got to deep
Her current pulling and dragging
I couldn't breathe but was kindly in peace.
The one within is an adversary like no other
He tells me I'm nothing and I cant help but to listen
I know that hes wrong but I cant think of another
That could fit the words given
Worry clouds logic as I lay alone at night
Sometimes I feel like I'm losing this fight
Even as I try with all my might
I stand shaking in fear of that sight
I feel lost in this battle of not knowing
Logic says you'd tell me if I was wrong
But that voice chimes in and says that I'm not glowing
In the pupil's of your eyes I'm just crowing.
I've tried my hardest
To show you where my heart is
Anything I could
You know that I would
Never have I had such fear
For that which is so dear
Knowing I could crush
If I had no right to see your blush
That blush so peaceful and powerful
It is a fable among the faeries
It would smother even the War Flames of Aries.
These battles within hardly shared
A war between what I fear and what I feel
I wish I knew how you cared
To help these scars start to heal
You'll always win and you'll also lose
When you decide it's time to go war
Which weapons will you use
To fight off this adversary that is you but more
Uncertainty can bring horrible feelings.
Glister of the glasses shattered
The dream state of the masses scattered
Picture perfect was always tattered
But even so I pray my praise mattered
Others see what I adore so much
But none as I, all they seek is touch
I would too, but I seem to crutch
Because through this lens I can see a hutch
I wrote instructions on how to live and strive
But I cant read my own handwriting on how to survive
Without certain knowledge how can one thrive?
I know if I continue an end will soon arrive.
These once renown lenses shown a world
Kinda rose tinted but slipped and hurled
Cracks on the lens, the glass was curled
Disorienting sight that was swirled.
I'll leave the glasses there on the shelf
Until I can get up and find it myself
Nothing is perfect and no one is either
I guess it means this is now a breather
Sometimes it's hard to take off the rose tinted glasses and other times they fall from your face and you have to see the world for what it is.
Silence is heavier than one would imagine
But sometimes you're not able to say the words you feel
So remain silent.
Even if you build up the courage and strength, you see only pain ahead.
So remain silent.
Use words only if you know they'll be heard. Remember what you went through. Extinguish the vex that holds you.
A rock and a hard place is nowhere to reside
But a heart and soft face will warm you from inside
No page long enough
No word eloquent
Pain in all avenues
Love in all hearts
Memories or dreams
Neither it seems
Only mind's fictions
Tear me apart
The what woulds
The what coulds
The racing thoughts
Time not spent
is time repent
Chances aren't fair
Some stay warm
while fires form
Others die of cold
A sea of Love ebbs
Stagnant I stay
Idle the way
and silent everyday
Not a Hero
Not a Villian
Just a Man with Love and Pain
A formula for either
When the Lion roared
It scared the mouse away
To a corner of the Earth
Is where that mouse will stay
A corner far from the Lion is safe
The Mouse pondered and paced
Until he was again face to face
with an unsure worry that illuminated the place
That poor corner now plagued with Rat
The Lion won't return to that
Not until it's time to cure
That which made the corner unpure
Poets are maze runners
Navigating an infinite labyrinth
To find an end of expression
A guide to those who can't see the maze
Poets are wordsmiths
Melting of ideas; painstakingly choosing where to bang and bend
Forging tools used to help others understand
Sharp or dull; the verses of the poet make his sword
Poets are warriors of words
Finding new strategies on the battlefield
Heart and mind alike
To say what is right
Never posted it... it's been a draft forever.. I dont think I'll finish this one
Pain O pain
A funny thing
But the mind's drag by
Pain is to know, you'll never know
Time heals all wounds
Except for the ones cause by lack of time
No peace in sleep
As I held you
I didnt realize
That vex held you tighter
Shaking, twisting, hurting, missing
Fought off the demons in your rest
At the same time fought off my best
I sit astounded
How efforts could be grounded
Into dust drifting by
Pain O Pain
Leave me not
Id rather cry
Than feel forgot
The stories we share may have well been written in the sand.
The Sands of time that passed so fast
we merely blinked into a new reality.
Small gusts grab and caress those tiny grains.
The tiny grains that were the skeleton of our stories.
A could be desert of memories turned into a small desolated beach,
with very little sand.
A small peninsula of that sand,
slowly being taken back by the sea.
Each grain; a memory in which we lay
Each droplet of water to separate
So the stories we share
we must write in the sand.
For it will last longer there
Than our hands did in hand
Stringless lays the bard's lute, as he remembers the mistake of strumming to fierce during his story of the ages.
He has shared his story upon deafen ears.
None heard the tale of an incredible task done by he.
His song dances with the wind as he weeps.
Farmers and warriors alike seek the smith for his skill. Yet none find the tools they sought.
Undesirable guilt follows the smith.
His creations are misused and abused, never was war an interest of his.
Regardless of his intent to protect, his responsibility is to his people.
Becoming lost in the story can cause damage to your song
So lift up your shield, just in case it's too strong
Guilt and pain aside
Every comet has its demise.
Let me show you a world of darkness
Don't fear what you can't see
It is peaceful here.
Silently gracing us with solace.
To find the same world you find when you close your eyes
Can show you not to be afraid of your demise.
As long as my hazel-glazed eyes
Can be a witness to the pale cyan sky,
feel the dew covered blades of green grass
between my toes and under my dirt covered feet;
the sense of comfort of a loving home will overwhelm me.
Always trying to atone for sin
Like a stabbing or a shooting
Hell we both fit in
Innocent faces, warming smiles, different roads but similar styles
Not many know truth bearing statements
So lets turn it out and turn it in
Purest form like the wings of a dove
All we know is to love.
— The End —