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257 · Jun 2019
Man in the cloud
Chris Jun 2019
Man in the cloud

He stares
And watches

Man in the cloud
How he

waits.

Man in the cloud
Please tell me

Man in the cloud
How'll I
join?
Enjoy.
256 · Aug 2019
Fight
Chris Aug 2019
Fight for what's left
Not for what's right
What's right's subjective
What's left's objective.

The future's built
On what we have
The future's lost
To what we want.
Don't ask me, I don't have the answer.
Enjoy.
256 · Jun 2019
Colorful Prison Cell
Chris Jun 2019
Everyday someone enters.
Everyday someone leaves.
But not me.

I've been here for 12 years now.
The pain I feel gets better with time.

Or so I'm told.

Isn't it ironic?
Someone tells me what it's like
But then I experience it.
Tell them otherwise.
But I'm wrong.

As usual.
Enjoy.
256 · Feb 2019
Z is a rarely used letter
Chris Feb 2019
Just look down.
You zee your keyboard?
What finger haz the hardezt time?

You're pinky.
You're pinky izn't az ztrong.
But it'z left to prezz zo many buttonz.

Which includez Z.
How many wordz iz it uzed in?
Not nearly az many az you'd think, or hope.

Why iz Z zuch a dizcarded letter?
It zoundz a lot like S and opperatez a lot the zame.
It'z main difference iz the change in it'z look.

Z iz far more zimpliztic.
Three linez. Nothing more, nothing lezz.
S however, uzez one curved line. Harder to learn.

Why doezn't Z get it'z time?
Why can't we juzt give a day for Z?
Or azzociate it with more than juzt bad zombie moviez.
Enjoy
256 · Feb 2019
Come My Child
Chris Feb 2019
Come my child
Confess your sin
Unchain your pain
Release what's within

Come my child
Our father listens
Just go wild
It'll teach you lessons

Come my child
Fix the life you've lead
For if you don't
Then I'll be the one
To put a Bullet in your head.
Enjoy
256 · Oct 2018
Black and White
Chris Oct 2018
Mister White sends his kids to school.
Mister Black keeps his kids at home.
Mister Grey ponders if he's just a fool.
"Calm down and let go" says mister White.
"Hold on to remember" says mister Black.
"But he stole me of life!" says mister Grey.

Mister White, being calm and just tells mister Grey,
"Karma can carry you to victory, be fair to him and you'll be fine."
Mister Black, never seeing eye to eye with mister White tells him,
"If you let time take it's course, you'll never get anywhere in life, take action and make haste."
Mister Grey, not knowing what to say replies,
"Mister White, mister Black, thanks to you both, but Karma can take a life and rushing causes recklessness."
Mister White ponders his thought and says to him,
"That may be true, but if we take action we can endanger the lives of the innocent."
Mister Black lets the idea roll around in his head before saying,
"You may be right, however, if we don't do something we allow them to continue with their crimes."
Mister Grey seeing there's no right or wrong wonders,
"If I were younger would I be more like mister Black? If I had concept of time would I be more like mister White?"
Mister Grey chews on this idea, spitting out the truth, mister Grey leaves.
I don't really know i was throwing around the idea of making a poem about a man named "Mister White" and "Mister Black" about how they disagreed then throwing in mister grey at the end to show a regular persons view on the two radicals of life. But i don't know, let me know what you think.

I want criticism not appraisal.
255 · Feb 2019
Standing
Chris Feb 2019
While standing I'm up so high
After so long it feels right
You don't even have to try
You'll be soaring, like a kite.

Standing beats laying down
Would you rather
Stand and walk around town
Or laze around.

But don't stand too long
Or else you might fall
So try to stay strong
Move past this life's wall.
Make of it what you will.
Enjoy
252 · Jun 2020
Take Me Away
Chris Jun 2020
I want you to take me away from here
Take me to a land of fantasy
Of magic and elves
Of farmers and mages.

I don't have to be the hero
I could be a bystander
But I want to live happily
In a world far from here.
Late night thoughts.
243 · Jul 2019
The Eye Of The Beholder.
Chris Jul 2019
Empty eyes of sorrow and sadness
Stare into a constant void of madness

With her blonde colored hair
Upon hours I could stare
And hold no cares.
For a maiden so fair
My lifetime I would share
And be forever paired.

Some say it's quite drastic
But she's quite elastic
Who cares if she's spastic
When she's made of plastic
;P. Enjoy.
239 · Jun 2019
Dear Mountain
Chris Jun 2019
Mountain so high
Please tell me why
Why you continue to grow
The worlds falling don't ya know?
Up is where you belong
If only I were that strong
I'd follow you wherever you go
Enjoy.
231 · Jun 2019
Deceased and Disposed
Chris Jun 2019
Here I am
The shadow of a man
That never was.
Enjoy.
228 · Oct 2019
For a grater cause
Chris Oct 2019
It's full of holes.
I am a comedic genius.
Enjoy.
224 · Jul 2019
Strange Isn't It?
Chris Jul 2019
How can we
Connect to
Someone who
Has gone through
Something so
Terrible?

I've never
Been beaten
By someone
With a whip
But sill I
Can connect.

How funny.
Enjoy.
223 · Jan 2019
I don't wanna pass
Chris Jan 2019
I'm to accept that I'm nothing new
Things like this in life are tough to chew.
But knowing there's more than a few
Means I know how to take my cue.

A cue that will set me up for more
Raise my sails for open shores.
Help me cut straight to the core
I'll take my cue to fade and end this war.

My troubles are caused by myself alone.
Learning this helped me keep from being a clone.
Knowing that I'm like everyone I've known
Is a cut that hits deeper than the bone.

I will see you in another life
But I don't wanna pass.
I'll wait there, but not for long
For everything moves too fast.
Remember me.
Enjoy.
216 · Jan 2019
Remember
Chris Jan 2019
Why do I remember
When it causes more pain
When I can just forget
And let it fade away.
I tried to make the cheesiest poem I could to see how popular it would get.
Enjoy
215 · Jan 2019
Letter 2
Chris Jan 2019
Thanks for the reply,
Getting free took a lot of meditation
But I've got to try
I need to stop taking this medication

I've still got more issues to solve
My friends have dropped to a few
But I need to strengthen my resolve.
It was nice talking to you.
Enjoy
215 · Dec 2019
Voluntary Or Otherwise
Chris Dec 2019
To escape is to see.
To sea is to drown.
To drown is to end.
To end this long abuse.
If you wanna know the meaning behind this one dm me. Enjoy.
211 · Feb 2019
Shelter
Chris Feb 2019
I'll give you shelter
from the pouring rain
An unknown swelter
Being mixed with pain.

My shelter will help you hide
stay here to escape your home
Trust us to be your life's guide
Safety for wherever you roam.

But our shelter won't last
like all things
stuck in the past.
Memories are a sweet thing.
(Inspired by the song constellations by Perfect By Tomorrow)
Enjoy.
210 · Jun 2019
Walking On Pain
Chris Jun 2019
Pins and needles
Of which I walk
The pain is comfort
For a lonely soul
Enjoy
210 · Aug 2022
Self Centered
Chris Aug 2022
Looking through notifs
******* my own ****

Re-read my 'hits'
I love rolling in ****

Proclaiming my works 'art'
Mmm I sure love my farts

If you're not me then don't try
I'm the only one that can move me to cry
Everyone has to deal with narcissism to some degree and when I enter this website I feel like such a ******* *****
209 · Jul 2019
The End
Chris Jul 2019
Fire raging
Forest fading
I'm Still waiting
Enjoy.
208 · Jun 2019
Oh Finest Of Blades!
Chris Jun 2019
Bathing in the sun
Soaking it's nutrients

This blade so sharp
Rub to fast
and you might get cut

But it shines so green
It offers shelter

I trust my food
to keep me safe

So mighty leaf!
Hide me away!
Abstract. Enjoy.
204 · Jun 2019
And You Are?
Chris Jun 2019
I'm bad with names
It's a **** shame
If only I could remember
the few people I've met.

I mean no disrespect
when I ask your name
I guess in retrospect
I should make it a game.

When I ask; take a shot
Or add a buck to the ***
I don't mean to offend
When I forget your name.

I swear I'm doing my best
Won't put you with the rest
To me you're a special guest.

So no offense
When I forget your name.
But I'll hold you close
Ti'll the time comes to forget your face.
I have pretty bad memory issues. Does anyone else have this problem, not just with names but poem ideas and story ideas. There one moment, gone the next. Enjoy.
203 · Jan 2019
Letter 4
Chris Jan 2019
I agree.
Politicians tell nothing but lies.
It's hard to see
When you too have your own guise.
It can catch onto me
But it helps us all grow a little more wise.
Lets us learn to be free
With all their noise it just makes me want to rise.

I don't know what to say from this point on.
Guess I'm just holding onto an old con.

Breathe in, and Breath out.
That's what they taught me in the class
Sometimes, I wanna shout.
I just don't wanna be lumped into the mass.

I bet that you can relate.
Never wanted to meet that fate
Is it wrong for us to feel so right?
I think of no one else at night.

I'll come and see you soon.
Ti'll then, just shoot for the moon.
Enjoy.
202 · Aug 2019
Tear Me Open
Chris Aug 2019
Have me get drawn and quartered
Tear my attention span shorter.
Go and tear me limb from limb
My weeping smile from cheek to cheek.

Mutilate my childish mind
Creativity left behind.
Beat me into submission
Misery; your only mission.

**** me and tell me I'm wrong
Hide and whine your pathetic song.
Father's your supposed name
He who ignores his growing shame.

Forgive him is what they say
Unaware of what's given way.
Tear me open for all to see
Dismember my will to be.
This is about my garbage family and ******* stepdad. Enjoy.
Chris Jun 2020
"48% nerd
27% band geek
15% broseph
6% grandpa
4% lesbian"


"That's some odd stuff man.
I usually just look up 'Blondes."
I just thought Izzy’s bio was a little funny. I’m sure they can take a joke
193 · Jan 2019
Letter 5
Chris Jan 2019
We've had our chance
And we had our time
But you took your stance
And I took mine

When we met
Your words were venom on my skin
The poison set
Now neither can win

You lured me in
A rabbit in your snare
I told you my sin
And you had your share
You threw me in the bin,
Left me without a care

But let me warn you now
I'm not getting strung along
I'm breaking my last vow
Leaving you where you belong.

You took your fire
Now I'll take mine
I can hear the choir
Guess you missed the sign.

Things WON'T end fine.
I plan on ending the Collection soon.
Enjoy.
181 · Dec 2020
2 Mice In A River
Chris Dec 2020
Grab onto the fence
Don't you dare let go
Rob you every cent
Strike your newest low

You feel the thunder
The lightning within
You begin to wonder
Is this where it ends?

Hold on for the ride
While gasping for air
Just keep it inside
And let your mind wear

Looking for some hope
Pressure on your chest
You think you can cope
But just do your best
I had a very severe panic attack less than 10 minutes ago and thought I should jot down my ideas right now.
178 · Nov 2018
Untitled
Chris Nov 2018
The door jumps  to life.
The stairs growl under hate.
The growling from outside the door.

The dog, barking at the cat for tricking him into giving up his life.
The cat, slyly claiming she only did it to fix what little remained.
The rodent, behind thin walls watches but sees his chance to leave.

The dog, biting with it's teeth, and the cat, scratching with it's claws.
The rat, biding it's time slips out never to be seen.
The crows see the maimed dog and the mauled cat, they question why this happened and why they did this but not who else was affected.
idk
178 · Apr 2019
Troubling Issues
Chris Apr 2019
If I lie I'll die
Speak the truth and I'll cry
It's eating me inside
But you don't know why.

I can't let you in
But I want you to know
Even though I'm in pain
I'm doing just fine.
I don't wanna sound preachy, but we're all going through some pain, sometimes comforting people is the right answer and other times leaving them be is better. If you're in pain, I hope you find your remedy.
Enjoy.
178 · Apr 2021
Fear of The Dark
Chris Apr 2021
I can see it on the bridge
The moonlight reflecting off it
My cats fear it
Now they stay in at night

I can hear it howling in the dark
Screaming for a mate?
Or roaring from hunger pangs?
But I know it sees me.

In the morning
I opened my door
To see it...
Scurry away.

Late at night, alone in my house
I could hear it's breath on my window
It was salivating.
In the morning it will have me.
And I...
Will be delicious.
Title Inspired by the song "Fear of The Dark" by Iron Maiden, I was listening to Orion by Metallica, and it was inspired by What Remains of Edith Finch
177 · Jun 2019
Make me a picture
Chris Jun 2019
Make me a picture
But only with words
Make it green
Or maybe red?
Regardless
Here's your tools.
Smear them,
Break them,
Or waste them.
I care not
Jut make my picture
And make it quick?
Enjoy.
176 · Aug 2018
Gregor Parson
Chris Aug 2018
Gregor Parson was but your average man, he loved to sleep in on Saturdays, go to church on Sunday and work on Monday. However, our dear Gregor was never quite complete.

He never had any emotions, he never had any need for a family. He could never quite see why people would waste their time raising a child when they could use their time to help society.

Gregor Parson was but your average man, he loved to sleep in on Saturdays, go to church on Sunday and work on Monday. However, our dear Gregor was never quite complete.

He never had any friends, he never saw the need for such tools. He could never quite understand why people would waste their time pleasing others just to let them leave and take your time with them.

Gregor Parson was but your average man, he loved to sleep in on Saturdays, go to church on Sunday and work on Monday. However, our dear Gregor was never quite complete.

He never spent much time with his colleagues, he never had any need to know them. He could never see why people would want to help or get to know their competition when you could spend your time going above them.

Gregor Parson was but your average man, he loved to sleep in on Saturdays, go to church on Sunday, and work on Monday. However, our dear Gregor was never quite complete.

He never needed time for others, he already had very little for leisure. He could never socialise with others, they would always ask him strange questions or odd requests. He never wanted to do things for others, he believed in himself.

Gregor Parson was not your average man, he loved to keep people over on Saturdays, use his tools on them on Sunday and hide it all on Monday. However, our disgusting Gregor could never hide this forever.

He always thought he was right and he always saw others as wrong. He never had need for another's opinion, no one would accept his hobbies. He always knew that if only they had a chance to try it themselves, they would understand.

Gregor Parson was never a sane man, he loved to harm others on his time off, he would abuse his own tools and luckily, our horrifying Gregor was nothing more than a fool.

He always enjoyed showing off his creations, and people would always come to see. He never understood why, they would look at his creations and say things that he could not make out. He enjoyed this, he thought that maybe they could become apart of his collection.

Hailie Fink was not your average warden. She hated her job, it scared her to her bones, everyday she saw the most horrific things, anything ranging from a doll of her being eaten to a man making pictures of her out of his feces.

She had one man in particular that scared her above all else. His name was Gregor, he was known for making abominations of the innocent. She hated him more than she hated her job. He was what kept her going.

Hailie Fink was not your average warden. She hated her job, but today was the exception, she was no longer scared, she was no longer afraid. On this day, Hailie felt rather gay.

She had one man that kept her working her horrific job. His name was Gregor Parson. Gregor was insane above all else. But today was the day. This day brought her more pleasure than any before it. Today was the day Gregor would be put down by Hailie.
176 · Feb 2019
Anger
Chris Feb 2019
Why am I yelling?
Why am I angry?
The hate keeps swelling
just feeding the fire.

The water inside
is just boiling out
There's no way to hide
it's making me shout.

But if it spills over
how will it end?
will it finally takeover?
I didn't mean to offend.
Enjoy
175 · Jul 2020
Us Bums Are People Too
Chris Jul 2020
In the wake of recent events
I have concocted a potion
Of lies and mischief
Of sins and virtue
One sip is a trip to nirvana
One glass is a slap in the face
But to see it, you must be blind
And to taste it, no tongue.
How can I exist if I'm not real?
How could you trust my deceit?
You should worry, for I tend to linger
But not too much, or your hair will turn grey.
Such an anomaly I am, one to never truly fade
But I stay in uniform and conform to complacency.
"One Teaspoon of snake oil will cure your back pains!"
175 · Jan 2021
Nightmare: Frontflip
Chris Jan 2021
Arriving in a familiar scene
My highschool basketball court
I never played the game
But I knew the people
Some friends
Some enemies
But 1 ball
I grab and I go for a dunk
On the way up I do a flip
and it never ends

A frontflip for the ages
6? 7? 9?
No.
It keeps going
I don't get nauseas
I just feel bored and lonely
Then I wake up to yesterday
I'm gonna make a diary of sorts detailing some of my nightmares, this is one that I've had many many times. I'll just be in a game of basketball then I do a frontflip and it just goes on until I eventually wake up, forever hovering in front of the net
173 · Mar 2019
The Devil
Chris Mar 2019
The devil's with me
He laughs and cries
He tries to trick me
But at least he tries.

The devil's wrong!
Of that I'm sure
But his will's strong
And he looks pure.

The devil's with me
Just lazing all day
Resting and jesting
Tells me, 'Go out n' play!"

The devil's a charmer
Oh wouldn't I know?
Said he wouldn't harm her
Just put on a show.

The devil's with me
Even this moment!
Sadly, you can't see,
But he's just a rodent.

The Devil's a liar
You can trust me on this
You must fight fire with fire
But don't let the shot miss.

Now the Devil's hiding
gone back to his lair.
On borrowed time he's riding...
But soon, his skin I'll wear.
This was a bit of a spur of the moment write. I typed it all up really fast and I'd like to get some feedback on this.
Enjoy.
173 · Feb 2019
Scarecrow
Chris Feb 2019
I'm a scarecrow
I sit there and watch
I think of what I can do
But I just continue to stare

I'm a scarecrow
I'm hollow except for hay
I let my insides spill out
But no one seems to care
I don't think it's finished. But I don't know where to go.
Enjoy.
171 · Jan 2021
Rusty Rose
Chris Jan 2021
Self-centered
Self-motivated
Self-indulgent
But not
Self-reliant
I'm a *******.
169 · Oct 2019
Been A While
Chris Oct 2019
First time in a while
I'm a bit rusty
I've struggled before
but you can trust me

You know I've been scraped
And how I've been bruised
But I've changed my shape
And managed my tune.

Guess it's time to work
Get back in the fray
Just another perk.
Lets live another day.
Btw a bomb went off at my school.
Enjoy.
163 · Oct 2018
The Man and his Loafers
Chris Oct 2018
The man pulled into the driveway, just returning home with a brand new pair of penny loafers. He was ecstatic to wear them and show them off during a fine stroll when he found the time. He climbed out of the car and jogged to the front door, a very clear hop in his step. He placed the key in the know and turned. He then proceeded to head inside. He could wait no longer. He made his way to the dining room table and sat down in one of the chairs. He held the shoe box in his hand for a brief moment, eyes closed. He felt the smooth cardboard, the fresh smell. It was overwhelming. He opened his eyes again, and opened the box. There they were. His destiny, staring back at him. He took off his old shoes and slipped on the loafers. For a second, all was fine. But then, a realization hit him. His eyes went wide. He couldn't believe it. Wouldn't believe. And yet, it was so apparent. What is it, you wonder? Well, it was this: his loafers were one size too big. He thought to himself, "This isn't possible. I checked at the store. These were my size." He became frantic. He screamed, clawing at the air, begging for the gods above to give him mercy. He could accept many hardships in life but this, he couldn't bear this. He began to foam at the mouth, his screams and moans getting increasingly loud. Until, suddenly, the noises ceased. If anyone were to enter that house, they would see a man lying their on the floor, mouth and eyes open, wearing those pair of ****** loafers.
This is a bit of a meme between my friends and I, one made this story up on the spot and we just kinda pass it around every once in a while sharing it to new people. it's pretty good.
161 · Jan 2019
My poetry
Chris Jan 2019
If something's mine
I want it to rhyme
It won't take much time
And it'll sound just fine

I'll twerk it
And rework it
Contort it
And transmorph it

I want it to look nice
So I add a little spice
Change up the formula
And add a pair of mice

I wouldn't write it
If I didn't like it
They'll make me want to quit
But I'll push on for just a bit

My poems are strange
And a bit weird
But my poems will change
And I'm just the same.
Enjoy.
161 · Jun 2019
Parties
Chris Jun 2019
The music is blaring
Like the drum of
My heart.

Isn't it strange?
To be surrounded
By people
Yet feel drowned
In loneliness?

I grab a
Drink
Swallow and
Feel the sting
That gets me drunk
on
The feeling of
Nothingness.

A blurred
Voice
Calls for me.
It's slurred speech's
Making my
Nerves calm.

I grab it
Tightly
And follow it home
Never
To be seen
Again.
Enjoy.
159 · Mar 2019
Another Poem
Chris Mar 2019
I wanted to say I'm back
To make you smile or make you laugh
Reassure you that I'm here to stay
But motivation is what I lack.
May I should spend more time and write a paragraph
Or just wait until some other day.

I can't say for sure that what I write's any good.
But I can say with all my heart, that it's something me.
Enjoy.
159 · Jan 2019
Letter 1
Chris Jan 2019
Hear me out,
I know we haven't talked in so long
I've found a route
A better way to help me stay strong

But what about you?
Did you finally leave those teenage years?
Gotta find something new
Finally get out of these age old fears.
I'm writing a collection of letters to no one. Enjoy.
156 · Jun 2019
No More! No More!
Chris Jun 2019
Oh hideous beauty!
How it stains my eyes!
With constant colors!
How truthful the lies!

Oh poisonous medicine!
Ingesting your smell!
Your dull needle!
Digesting it's taste!

Oh coarse silk!
It's pain is pleasure!
The chair it swivels!
Yet it stays in place!

Oh beauteous eye-sore!
How I long for you to never come!
It'll be here soon forevermore!
Leave me with a fading scar!
I just wanted to mess around with words that counteract each other. Enjoy.
154 · Feb 2020
Tuning
Chris Feb 2020
Tuning my thoughts
To match my words

Tied into knots
Of broken lies

Defeating smile
The ten yard mark

Saw from a mile
All bite, no bark.

Bottled sadness
Soon to explode

Constant madness
A fading light

Dimming darkness,
That stole my fight

My will to live
My only right

It's been reversed
Flipped on its head

Reverse of what's not.
Wish I was dead.
Enjoy.
152 · Jan 2020
Honey Covered Lips
Chris Jan 2020
Honey Covered Lies
Sweeter than the truth
Poison in my system
Botox in my veins.

Honey Covered Lips
The sweeter they taste
The stronger the dose.
The truth can hurt but it's necessary.
152 · Mar 2023
3 Days of Happiness
Chris Mar 2023
If I knew my life was ending in 3 days I don't think I'd do anything grand. It's not like I'm a hero or a celebrity. It's not like I have the money to do anything audacious or that I would want to impart my will on everyone for an unknown amount of time. I would likely watch youtube, hang out with my cat a bit more, and not tell my friends of my circumstances. I don't think I'd leave a letter either.

Perspective on these kinds of things can change with time, of course, but I've felt similarly for a while now. It's always like you're just drifting through life with little control over yourself, little to impart on others that feels impactful, and little to achieve what makes you happy in the moment without facing large consequences.

If I had 3 days, I would keep being me while maybe listening to the loudest music possible and maybe I'd start writing poetry again. Surely an event as big as your death will make the ideas start flowing? At least, that's what I feel most people would think. I've had a few near death experiences and one recently that made it seem like I will die here shortly (not including my depressive episodes), and nothing changed in that regard. The only change that happened for me, was a slight recontextualization of how I think about how my actions affect those around me, but even then it doesn't mean I think before I speak (sorry to those who know who they are).

In the end, while I think I know how I would act and feel with only having 3 days left, it could be that the fact that I wasn't certain about my end means that I continued on as normal until I keel over because there was a chance. If there was no chance, would that finally be the thing that would sway me to actually change the way I behave? Would I be able to study? Would I be able to focus on topics that don't immediately grab my attention? Would I try to go out and meet new people?

I doubt it.
thought it was worth journaling
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