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Apr 2023 · 214
Chase It Again!
Chris Apr 2023
A misty morning; skies clearing

I see the rainbow; endearing

I follow its glow; *** of gold

Adventure and fun; I've been sold

When I close in; I look around

I see once more; stories abound!
Have a good idea
Start project
Tell everyone.

Never finish
Mar 2023 · 92
3 Days of Happiness
Chris Mar 2023
If I knew my life was ending in 3 days I don't think I'd do anything grand. It's not like I'm a hero or a celebrity. It's not like I have the money to do anything audacious or that I would want to impart my will on everyone for an unknown amount of time. I would likely watch youtube, hang out with my cat a bit more, and not tell my friends of my circumstances. I don't think I'd leave a letter either.

Perspective on these kinds of things can change with time, of course, but I've felt similarly for a while now. It's always like you're just drifting through life with little control over yourself, little to impart on others that feels impactful, and little to achieve what makes you happy in the moment without facing large consequences.

If I had 3 days, I would keep being me while maybe listening to the loudest music possible and maybe I'd start writing poetry again. Surely an event as big as your death will make the ideas start flowing? At least, that's what I feel most people would think. I've had a few near death experiences and one recently that made it seem like I will die here shortly (not including my depressive episodes), and nothing changed in that regard. The only change that happened for me, was a slight recontextualization of how I think about how my actions affect those around me, but even then it doesn't mean I think before I speak (sorry to those who know who they are).

In the end, while I think I know how I would act and feel with only having 3 days left, it could be that the fact that I wasn't certain about my end means that I continued on as normal until I keel over because there was a chance. If there was no chance, would that finally be the thing that would sway me to actually change the way I behave? Would I be able to study? Would I be able to focus on topics that don't immediately grab my attention? Would I try to go out and meet new people?

I doubt it.
thought it was worth journaling
Oct 2022 · 101
Chris Oct 2022
On the edge again
The void down below
If you think too much
You'll take a step back

Ignore yourself
Suppress the thoughts
Leave care behind
Just take the step
Aug 2022 · 156
Self Centered
Chris Aug 2022
Looking through notifs
******* my own ****

Re-read my 'hits'
I love rolling in ****

Proclaiming my works 'art'
Mmm I sure love my farts

If you're not me then don't try
I'm the only one that can move me to cry
Everyone has to deal with narcissism to some degree and when I enter this website I feel like such a ******* *****
Aug 2022 · 334
Midnight on a Friday
Chris Aug 2022
I want to write something, but I have depression.
Inspired by my depression
Apr 2021 · 137
Fear of The Dark
Chris Apr 2021
I can see it on the bridge
The moonlight reflecting off it
My cats fear it
Now they stay in at night

I can hear it howling in the dark
Screaming for a mate?
Or roaring from hunger pangs?
But I know it sees me.

In the morning
I opened my door
To see it...
Scurry away.

Late at night, alone in my house
I could hear it's breath on my window
It was salivating.
In the morning it will have me.
And I...
Will be delicious.
Title Inspired by the song "Fear of The Dark" by Iron Maiden, I was listening to Orion by Metallica, and it was inspired by What Remains of Edith Finch
Apr 2021 · 115
The Ferret King
Chris Apr 2021
Cover me in your words
Bathe me in your thoughts
Drown me in your dreams
Fill me with your hopes.

Connect the dots
Piece by piece
Tied into knots
Your dreams
your dreams.

Sorrow-laden pills of joy
From misery and despair
They're yours and yours alone
To feed me, tied to a throne.

A crown of thorns rests on my head
My blood to pay for the life you lead
My words. My hope. My dreams. My hopes.
Force-fed, now they fill me with dread.
I couldn't come up with a name for this.

All comments are appreciated.
Feb 2021 · 494
A Check For The Rent
Chris Feb 2021
A body on the streets
Step around, it reeks.

Life's been wasted
Thrown out for cash
Abrasion o' justice
The rich hide the rash
A human life, $7.25 an hour.

This poem was inspired by the song "Calm Like A Bomb" by Rage Against The Machine. Specifically the line "A ditch full of bodies, and a check for the rent" really hit homes. In the middle of a pandemic,  many people dying, many people laid off, and many people got evicted to live on the streets. To spread the disease. To spread captisalism. Socialism is the vaccine.
Feb 2021 · 1.5k
Enjoy Your Stay In The USA
Chris Feb 2021
Working and pregnant?
No time off

Graduated from college?
4 years; no job

Born into a poor family?
Invest in real estate

Paid minimum wage?
Work harder.

Sick in need of meds?
Only costs $750

Born a minority?
Stop being lazy

For these reasons and more
We hope you enjoy your stay
In the USA.
Capitalism is broken.

If you don't agree with that after reading this poem, feel free to DM me and I'll see if I can show you more reasons as to why Capitalism is flawed.

Have a wonderful day, stay safe, and fight the machine.
Jan 2021 · 145
Nightmare: Frontflip
Chris Jan 2021
Arriving in a familiar scene
My highschool basketball court
I never played the game
But I knew the people
Some friends
Some enemies
But 1 ball
I grab and I go for a dunk
On the way up I do a flip
and it never ends

A frontflip for the ages
6? 7? 9?
It keeps going
I don't get nauseas
I just feel bored and lonely
Then I wake up to yesterday
I'm gonna make a diary of sorts detailing some of my nightmares, this is one that I've had many many times. I'll just be in a game of basketball then I do a frontflip and it just goes on until I eventually wake up, forever hovering in front of the net
Jan 2021 · 146
Rusty Rose
Chris Jan 2021
But not
I'm a *******.
Jan 2021 · 274
Chris Jan 2021
Dedication: Hours to your craft
Inspiration: Found from within
Motivation: To climb and succeed
Squandered: Stolen, lost, destroyed.
Just failed at something that I've spent the last 4+ month busting my back to work on. It really *****, but I wish everyone else the best of luck.
Dec 2020 · 152
2 Mice In A River
Chris Dec 2020
Grab onto the fence
Don't you dare let go
Rob you every cent
Strike your newest low

You feel the thunder
The lightning within
You begin to wonder
Is this where it ends?

Hold on for the ride
While gasping for air
Just keep it inside
And let your mind wear

Looking for some hope
Pressure on your chest
You think you can cope
But just do your best
I had a very severe panic attack less than 10 minutes ago and thought I should jot down my ideas right now.
Nov 2020 · 264
Elves During Summertime
Chris Nov 2020
Elves during summertime
with their drink and songs
They smile and they laugh
they help right my wrongs

When they're waking up
they jest with the birds
When they're winding down
they leave loving words

Elves on the mountainside
they frolic and they play
A place I can visit
but I cannot stay
Just the 2nd part of an old poem I wrote.
Nov 2020 · 101
The Picture Of Shame
Chris Nov 2020
Walking through the city
The city's remains
Seeing bodies being thrown about in every which way

A starving child here
A screaming man there
The enemy scrambling for the politician's hair

Running through the streets and what remains
Filled with smoke and flames
The picture of shame
Tell me what you think.
Partially inspired by the song "Calm Like A Bomb" by Rage Against The Machine.
Nov 2020 · 247
Lazy Day
Chris Nov 2020
Half a day
On half power
Half productive
but doubly
I was gonna write about something totally different, but once I started, this is what came out.
Chris Aug 2020
Halfway down
A mirror to my past
Of misery
And now regret
A quarter to go
It's churning in my guts
A splash in the world
A ripple to remember
A mirror of nothing
"And when I came to, all I felt was regret" - Probably someone
Jul 2020 · 57
Paladin > Bard
Chris Jul 2020
Your ****** Powers
Are nothing in the face of
My double ax slap
Jul 2020 · 75
Starting From Zero
Chris Jul 2020
Covered in thoughts
Soaked in regrets
I'm starting over
From nothing
This was inspired by my favorite show Re:Zero
Jul 2020 · 132
Us Bums Are People Too
Chris Jul 2020
In the wake of recent events
I have concocted a potion
Of lies and mischief
Of sins and virtue
One sip is a trip to nirvana
One glass is a slap in the face
But to see it, you must be blind
And to taste it, no tongue.
How can I exist if I'm not real?
How could you trust my deceit?
You should worry, for I tend to linger
But not too much, or your hair will turn grey.
Such an anomaly I am, one to never truly fade
But I stay in uniform and conform to complacency.
"One Teaspoon of snake oil will cure your back pains!"
Jun 2020 · 352
Chris Jun 2020
You don't see me.
I don't say much.
But just trust me.
I'm still watching.
Jun 2020 · 96
Bottle Me Up
Chris Jun 2020
Bottle me up
Push me down
Bury me
Beneath your guts
I'll squirm
And it will hurt
But you can't.
You can't let me show.
If someone sees
You'll be outlawed
You'll be ostracized
You'll be a coward.
You'll be hated.
Now keep it a secret.
"You crying? What, are you a p*ssy or something?"
Jun 2020 · 114
Chris Jun 2020
Brings only pain
A bullet in part
It enters your brain
And goes out your heart
Thanks for reading this.
Jun 2020 · 99
Dear Class of 2020
Chris Jun 2020
I put on my cap and gown and went outside.
The wind was gentle and the sun was warm.
My gown was smooth, soft, and it made me happy.
My cap was light and ready to be thrown miles.
The moment comes and the moment passes.
My gown's still folded on the counter with my cap on top.
Neither has been worn, what's the point?
Maybe someone can use it in the future.
I'll just save it for them.
Covid kinda *****.
I was listening to "Saintlike" by Jakey when I started writing this.
Jun 2020 · 77
I am a thumb
Chris Jun 2020
I am a thumb
with joints
with bones
with ligaments
with skin
with nails
with blood
with pain
Just trying something new.
I made this while listening to "Pack of Rats" by Rusty Cage.
Jun 2020 · 83
Chris Jun 2020
Leaning back
In my chair
My weight.

I'm not scared
If I fall
All I'll break
Is your heart.
"Be careful with others hearts and don't put up with someone who's not careful with yours." - Everyone's free to wear sunscreen.
Jun 2020 · 189
Take Me Away
Chris Jun 2020
I want you to take me away from here
Take me to a land of fantasy
Of magic and elves
Of farmers and mages.

I don't have to be the hero
I could be a bystander
But I want to live happily
In a world far from here.
Late night thoughts.
Chris Jun 2020
I've been wanting to go swimming
But the water's always cold.

In summer
Or spring

70 degrees
Yet it's still ice

On my toes.
Thank you for reading.
Stay safe.
Jun 2020 · 58
Why Am I Like This?
Chris Jun 2020
I've become more caring
I've become more empathetic
I'm more in tune with my emotions
But I still can't cry
Why am I like this?
You're free to wear sunscreen. Science has proven it's good for you.
Jun 2020 · 310
Echo Chamber
Chris Jun 2020
Can you hear me?

Do you feel the same?
You do?

Can you repeat me?

Can you give me my opinion?

Should we silence all disagreement?
I find that we all like being in an echo chamber, at least from time to time.
Jun 2020 · 252
Stop Talking
Chris Jun 2020
The more you say
About a problem
The worse
It becomes.

If you say nothing
And let it fade
It ceases
to exist
Hot take right? If you think I'm racist, think again. I don't know anything about the subject that people are complaining about again, but I know that in general, the more you talk about a problem, the more it exists, and the worse it becomes.
"If you talk about it, it exists." - Morgan Freeman. Happy birthday Morgan Freeman.
Chris Jun 2020
"48% nerd
27% band geek
15% broseph
6% grandpa
4% lesbian"

"That's some odd stuff man.
I usually just look up 'Blondes."
I just thought Izzy’s bio was a little funny. I’m sure they can take a joke
May 2020 · 667
Chris May 2020
A fighter.
A hero.
A rebel.
A leader.
As good as they come.
That was Echidna.
I had a dream about the hero Echidna. I'm gonna try and write it out here in a series of poems.
May 2020 · 110
Chris May 2020
Keep me from public
Cover my face
Hide my words
Remove from the world
What little I left.

Scrub away the remains
And let me fade
into obscurity.
I'm like 99% sure HP is hiding my poems. When I look in notifications I don't see anything, but then I look at my poems and I see likes, favorites, comments, whatever. But HP isn't letting me know these things, and I'm pretty sure they're just hiding my poems. So that's pretty cool I guess. I just hope my account doesn't get deleted, but what can I do, eh?

(I saw "Chameleon's" poem about the same subject after I made this).
May 2020 · 81
Chris May 2020
Never before have I been in a moment like this

and now it's gone.
May 2020 · 240
The Ballad Of Guy Fieri
Chris May 2020
Parked in a lot
at night
With no gas and
no light

Instincts kick in
I run
Then I reach for
my gun

won't bend
Pull the trigger
and so it ends
"But Guy Fieri don't do that no more." - The Minute Hour
May 2020 · 79
Chris May 2020
Gramer Nazy
I'm alright I guess
I've just been playing games
Nothing else much


Gramer Nazy
I've been reflecting on the person I am
and I've become someone that I like more.


Gramer Nazy
What're you doing right now?
Besides talking to me

In bed

Gramer Nazy
What are you doing
What's in your room?

A bed, a dresser and boxes

Gramer Nazy
How long have the boxes been there?

Since Mom died
Almost 3 weeks

Gramer Nazy
What's in them?

Her stuff

Gramer Nazy
What made you wanna talk to me again?

Haven't you been off a while

Gramer Nazy
I'm always on
I changed my pfp
But I've always just been hanging out


Gramer Nazy
you tried writing any poems?


Gramer Nazy
Wanna give it a shot?


Gramer Nazy
You wanna write one together?
Let me know what you think
May 2020 · 50
Name In Fine Print
Chris May 2020
Mass produce my thoughts
Sell them for cheap
In the bargain bin
Is where they'll sleep

5 dollars for an idea
Copy then remake
Piled upon itself
Integrity's at stake
Apparently I started working on this on April 16th. I didn't change it at all. It still doesn't feel complete, so I would greatly appreciate it if someone more talented could continue or finish it in the comments. Thank you very much and have a wonderful day.
Yours truly -Chris.
May 2020 · 55
Chris May 2020
I have yet to experience one
To make something truly great.

Personal experience
Is irrelevant
If it ends in joy.
I was just listening to a song called "Tight Rope" by Brother Ali. It's one of the most influential songs for me. It's not really my kind of genre, but it's really good and I hope you give it a listen. It has one bit in particular that really sticks with me.
"Older you get you resent how sick it is
They're trying to cover their guilt with the gifts they give
Bounce from his house to her house
Too bad that marriage didn't work out
Now you don't have a your house"
May 2020 · 93
Love or Abuse?
Chris May 2020
Bird in a cage
With no bars.

It's cut free
Yet it remains.
This was inspired by the poem "Caged Bird" by Maya Angelou. It has basically nothing to do with what inspired it, but just thought I'd let you guys know.
May 2020 · 94
Chris May 2020
20 assignments
20 overdue.
I'm really hating life right now. I don't have the motivation to do a **** thing. There was a short period in time in which I was motivated to do things again when I was able to take care of these ferrets, but my family got angry that I was allowing them out of their cage and they wouldn't even let me change their litter and I've just fallen back into this depression. Thanks for reading this block of text, and I hope you have a wonderful day.
Apr 2020 · 62
The Story Of Me
Chris Apr 2020
What makes me so obsessive?
And so possessive
I don't mean to
Just want to know where you'll go
And what you'll do.
Chris Apr 2020
Invader of war
At my doorstep
Knocking on thoughts
Now it's open
Please come in
Pillage, destroy
Whatever granny can provide.
Please let me know what this makes you think, I'm genuinely interested in knowing what you think.
Apr 2020 · 78
In Times Of Need
Chris Apr 2020
I wanted to write this for someone else to read
Let you know I'll be there in your time of need.
Even though I can't actually be there
I wanted you to know I still care.
Short but sweet. Stay strong comrades!
Apr 2020 · 67
When I Was 5
Chris Apr 2020
A scraped knee in summer
For the memories of last year
I remember falling down a hill at school and destroying my knee.
Apr 2020 · 65
Chris Apr 2020
On a dreary night
Sat upon a stool
Weeping in my thoughts
I felt like a fool.

On a weary day
While standing in fear
I stole the wrong hand.
My end is coming near
Apr 2020 · 84
Chris Apr 2020
I wanna make it out of this alive
But I don't know how
I can see the door closing
But I can't move.

The rope is tightening
Air is cut thin
Time is running out
But it's fine.
Can I get some sympathy points?
Mar 2020 · 99
Warmth and Chaos
Chris Mar 2020
Warmth from chaos
A past time of mine
It makes me feel goey
And nice inside.

The destruction of lives
The loss of property.
I enjoy it all.
Just not when it's me.
I think most of us feel like this.
Mar 2020 · 63
Don't Worry About It
Chris Mar 2020
I'm gonna **** myself
But it's for attention
So it doesn't count
So just let this slide.

When you hear the bang
Don't enter the room.

I want you to call the police.
Tell them you heard a loud bang in my room.

Don't worry about the future
I left a box of stuff.

In the box, there's a list.
It's for Matt. Don't look.
Unless you hate surprises.

I left enough gifts on there to last you 20 years.
Matt will buy them
Or he'll feel like ****.

For Ky, I left my computer.
Hers is better, but she said she wanted mine
When we were 12.

For Hope, I leave my grandma's blanket.
It's torn and filthy, but that adds to its history.

I don't want you to enter at all.
At least for a year.

When the time's up
You'll find something special.

When it comes time to clean
Have Matt and Brian do it.

For Jared, I leave my old games
He says they're collectors.

For Liam, I leave Fire Emblem.
Maybe this will get him to play it.

Sorry that it was always me and you.
And not someone more interesting.

Jenna will console you
at least at first.
So you'll have someone else to talk to.

I was never good at conversation
So sorry for wasting time

But maybe now,
I'll be good for conversation.
It was inspired by 'night mother play. I hope you enjoyed and maybe thought about how you would leave a letter.
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