They just keep...
Talking                      &                    Talking
Endlessly spilling out lies
Falling from their mouths
Effortless, as it were their native tongue
Like a special kind of language
They simply go
On                       &                       On
Can't they hear themselves?
Do they not stop and think
Is there not even a moment where
They wonder if this will hurt anyone?
It's like they are stuck in a loop
Round                      &                      Round
Stop whining would you
You're getting on my nerves
Considering how often they're caught
Its a wonder how they haven't learnt
How difficult is it to drill into your head
I've heard it that many times
I would rather be dead
Play                      &                      Repeat
Oh woe is you my dear
Another victim to the play
Weeping and posing
Yet another perfect alibi
Peer a little closer
It's amazing what you'll find
She isn't crying my dear
Yes, she's laughing within her mind
Pathetic                      &                      Clever
Strangely enough both at the same time
What they do is self inflicted
Incredibly beyond stupid
But we fall for their tricks don't we?
Meaning they aren't entirely brainless
Though patience is running thin
The longer it goes on
At the end of the day
I'll be gone with the dawn
Keep going why don't you
Laughing                      &                      Taunting
A puppet master who pulls the strings
Stirring the *** round and round
Sprinkling in tears of sadness
Peppering in fuel for rage
The funny part about it is
They are the ones trapped within the cage
With each lie that's spoken
The chains get tighter still
By the end of the night
It won't be so much of a thrill
One                      by                      One­
They will all leave you know
People grow old, tried and weary
Childish tales no longer amuse them
No hope for you then my deary
When you build your life on lies
And people begin to see past the foundation
Once you break down their trust
There will be not a sliver of salvation
As the last grains of sand
Fall down the hour glass
Ask yourself then
Was it worth it?

Stop it.
There is nobody left to save you


~

~

You're going to catch a cold and die
He laughed it off with a gentle sigh
It's not that cold
It really is!!!
And so our little argument begins

The wind isint cold

A confident tone within his voice
Wearing an amused smile
Stop right there kid
Its too early to rejoice

But the wind itself IS cold

That's not how it works

An endless back and forth verbal fight
Dragging on into the dark hours of the night
This was clearly going no where
We made the call to look it up
Its stated that

wind and air which has heated up,
slightly is moved and replaced for new air which is colder

Grinning like a Cheshire cat
Thinking he had won the Game
That almost taunting smile
I swear its driving me insane

But... It says its cold

Groaning in frustration
He yells out loud
I give up!
Now he's not too proud

Burying his head
Into his arms
I'm laughing away
Trying not to do anymore harm

I don't understand how you don't get it at all

I just dont want you to catch a cold

He signs as he goes out yet again
Getting into his car
He sends me a picture
He'd put on his jacket
Are you happy now?

Very.


The wind isint cold



~

The moment I turned
and walked away
I felt my heart break a little
He didn't chase

Slowly taking steps
Without looking back
I couldn't hear his footsteps
But I couldn't backtrack

I felt my feet getting heavy
dragging them along
Desperately wanting to run
Back to where I belong

Within his arms safely
Standing side by side
Contently drifting along
As gentle waves by the seaside

The happiest they've ever seen me
Most carefree I've ever been
I was completely in love
A world consisting of just me and him

Though a raging river stood
Between our hearts
And in the end I was
The one left behind in the dark

As I raised my head high
Marching along to a beat
I've learnt to smile yet again
At last I can feel complete

Time has passed over
And not once did he chase
But the moment he did
It was already to late

I grew tired of running
Trailing after him
Was it really to much effort
To try and run after me too?

When I got up
Letting go of his hand
he didn't try to stop me
I guess this was where he stands

I knew then
He doesn't love me
And he never will

We have reached our limits
He no longer needs me
I've given all that I can give
So no matter what happens now

I'm not turning back


~

~

Nobody Loves me
Nobody really cares

But I do my darling
Just take a look into my eyes
I've been through hell and back with you
Together we have touched the skies

From the beginning to the end
We've seen each other through it
The lies and deceit, heart stopping truths
Where others would have split
We made it through our youth

When we first met you were smol
Barely even my height
A friendship made through stripper jokes
And you being my favourite white

Casual racism erupted
A classic joke among our friends
During a time where we were once happy
Innocent even, before that bitter end

Slowly you grew taller
Quite frankly you have changed
No longer that touchy goofball
Reasoning for that we leave unexplained

Though I still love you dearly
No matter what kind of person you become
Even if you turned into a vile beast
I would still act like your mum

From your oddly perfectly shaped eyebrows
Those glistening endless voids you call your eyes
Hair roughly pushed to the side
Matched with a cheeky grin that people seem to idolise

3 Years I would say its been
Though clearly its the wrong number
Knowing all about your weird life
Sharing memories from past summers

An ungodly collection of hats
littered throughout your room
The ugly ones shoved above the closet
That black one with green splats I presume

We went to that amazing concert together
Rocking it out within the mosh pit
I'll never forget that amazing day
As we reconnected even if it was just a bit

Your escape through street fighting
A dark time for both of us I remember
But it looks like we stuck it out
We made it past that December

Even if we wanted to end it all
The depression still hitting us in waves
The relaps of that fateful period
Still echoes within my brain

But like I've said once
And will say a million times over
I love you my dear boy
Even if you feel like a complete loner

I'll continue holding my hand out
Incase you slip and fall
Even if you don't need it
Just don't forget its there is all


I want you to know
I love you
Remember that Riy


~

I watched it all happened
I watched it all burn down
And yet I stood there watching
Without uttering a single sound

I knew all their secrests
I knew all their lies
I knew the real stories
All from each side

Trusted by all
They told me all things
But I stood there in silence
As they played a game of kings

Doing nothing at all
Even though i held the power
I just let them fall
Withering like a flower

Times have moved on
They are all no longer friends
I'm the last connection
There is no chance they will make amends

People fall apart
All rundown to different ends
Hatred and recentment burns
Though cast away by the winds

I see them all now
And even I've lost that spark
The one I once held
When the whole world seemed dark

As I stand upon the ashes
Of the loving people I once knew
That time gone and forgotten now
The very thought to which is taboo

Yet here I stand
At what was the foundation of the past
Holding the matchbox in hand
Crying, I thought it would last

I did nothing to stop it
I myself set it ablaze
So much for the peacekeeper
all she could do was gaze

And try and act innocent
Attempting not to get burnt
You would think after such tragedy
That I would have learnt

But its a burden I'll carry
Right down to my grave
Knowing I destroyed them
When they could have been saved

I let them burn
What kind of a monster does that?
*******...

I'm Guilty


~

Take my heart
Break it in two
Crumble it to pieces
Its okay I want you too

Tell me pretty lies
Syrup dipped candy
You're words have such sweetness
Keep on drinking that brandy

Beat around the bush
Play you're little games
Run wild and free
Be sure to fasten my chains

Kiss that other girl
Play me like an upright base
Feed me those excuses
Let the tears pour down my face

Allow me to feel the love
Thats as plastic as that grin
False sense of security
Call it my original sin

Take another trophy
Place it upon your shelf
Right next to the rest of them
I'm sure your proud of yourself

Throw me away once at the end
Once you've had your fill
Just like the rest of them
I'll tumble downhill

I'll cry out my heart
Desperately want you back
But just like the rest of them
I was just another past time snack

I'm stupid I know
But hit play
I'm stuck on repeat







Help me.....


~

Admire her
From behind the glass
Look on closely
She's holding her mask

Don't step to close
You mustn't touch the exhibit
She may break into pieces
As she is fragile and timid

Look upon her
With starry filled eyes
That innocent and purity
Its that trust which causes her cries

See the elegantly placed roses
Vines that surround her skin
Peer a little bit closer
The thorns are piercing in

She smiles so beautifully
Its gentle and bright
Its a wonder why her eyes
Hold such little light

Take a step back
You're in far too close
You're scaring her away
And there she goes

Back into her shell
Made of mirrored crystal glass
Look upon the surface and see
Your true self reflected
Try not to be brass

You will only see yourself
The longer you stare
And soon you'll believe
That's the only thing there

Hidden away
Behind the illusions of the mind
Its tucked away safely
Within her own elaborate design

Her own personal prison
Eternally trapped
Within an art gallery of foes
What secrets are hidden underneath that mask?
Unfortunately not even the artist seems to knows

Dont touch the Artwork




~

A thousand petals
Flow through the sky
Gracefully floating
In and out of sight  

Behind the walls
Of roses a gleam
A labyrinth awaits
Filled with the wildest dreams  

Clicking of heels
Running upon a stoney little path
He's calling your name
Simply follow along the footpath

You can see his smile
As he turns another corner
Ever so slightly out of reach
Keep going you're getting warmer

The sun streams down
Following at each turn
It seems so hopeless now
But determination is stern

He's teasing you
You can hear his voice in the wind
Like a mere whisper by your ear
Its drawing you in

To a place that you thought
Was only within fairy tales
And finally you reach him
Taking in all of the details

Capturing this moment
Like a photograph and image
Forever engraved into your mind
You can hear them all saying

Love can be blind

Forgetting the past
History of you and him
He's the one you want
Even if all odds seem dim

In the moment you let him hold you
Gently within his arms
And you truly believe then
He could never do you harm

Though when the world seems to fade
And you've been hurt time and time again
You're willing to believe anything
Allowing yourself to fall victim to sin

But in this rose filled garden
Where the sun is beautifully bright
You forget about the reality
And allow yourself to bask in the light  

Closing your eyes
Here he's standing handsome and tall
But when you open you're eyes
There will be nothing at all

Within this Rose Filled Garden



~

The bushland calls
Of my childhood dreams
Amongst the wild
My soul it, sings

The gentle breeze
light upon the skin
Sun upon my face
it welcomes me in

To the lands of summers
Though now long gone

Memories of the heats haze
With a white juvenile horse
Within a closed off field it lay
But young and free it was born

Birds flying high above
Shielding the rays of the sky
Perfectly clear a crystal bright blue
Not a single cloud in sight

Fields filled with nothing
But the dirt beneath our feet
Dull patches of green and yellow
Amongst cattle it feeds

A rooster it crows loud
The chooks begin to run
As bruce, a little staffy
Chases them about

Work shed full of tools
Covered by a rusted tin roof
Parked beside it old barrols
And a broken down ute

Stone walls of the house
To keep it cool inside
Spread across the cold floors
A reddish brown cowhide

Worn down leather couch
Out upon the front porch
An eski filled with stubbies
Where the boys had their "talks"

I feel the memories flooding back
This peacefulness, this sense of home
Hours pass by within seconds
Losing myself in the zone

My footsteps have long faded with time
As has my name once carved upon the gumtrees
The white stallion no longer grazes near by
Nor do the same cattle dwell in that field

Worn down by time and way of the land
Though I do intend to return again
To share the beauty of this place
Drawn back by the old fate

The day melts away like the snow
And I hear my parent calling my name
This place will forever be my second home
Because I know here, I'll never be alone

That smile of his
Held the beauty of the world
It was ever so charming and undeniably sweet
Entrancing all those who lay eyes upon it
There was a time where I once imaged
I could even sell my soul if need be
Whenever I saw his precious smile

Then I came to see
The true colours behind that smile
Twas like a poisonous flower
Blooming and vibrant
Luring in its fragile prey
Bewitching it within its spell
Intoxicated by the nectar
Unable to ever leave

Upon revealing the truth
That lay so evidently to preying eyes
He had already long abandoned me
leaving nothing but a memory of what was
And a forever lingering taste of honey
A sweetness upon my tongue

Though it is best to end this longing
This yearning for that man
Who's smile warmed my heart
halting my breath but for a moment
As if encased within a time
When my entire world was composed of
Only him and that devious smile













Yet my mind refuses to forget....


.

They say that good people
Are meant to stay away from people who are "bad"
They learn that their pity towards those people get them nowhere
They come to know that they should push those who are bad away
Those people who are outcasts, Who are loners
The players, delinquents and rebels
The people who spit venom when approached
That talk or dress in a particular way, who have this "look"
That say hateful things, and do things that hurt others
Destroying every piece of happiness that dares enter their lives
The 'Good' learn to avoid these types of people
and many times its for good reason

Though I believe that there is a reason behind every action
When a person is driven to hurt others
its because somebody has hurt them too
Those people who seem cold and push people away
Those people that say hateful things in a spur of a moment
The people who act in irregular ways from a 'normal' person
Its to those people that we should be kind
Though through your kindness you must be sincere
As merely fake kindness will only hurt them more

I believe that the people who do bad things
They know what they doing is wrong
But I believe that there is a reasoning behind them
That many people don't seem to want to understand
Its something that they don't want to see
As much as those people don't want to believe that people can be truly kind
Forcing themselves to believe that the world is truly so cold and cruel
And that there is not a trace of anything beautiful

Be kind to them
please,

Sincerely An outsider

If I were to scream out all my thoughts
All my insecurities and feelings

Would you hear me?

If I were to wipe away this facade
To reveal my raw emotion

Would you be willing to see me?

If I were to stop putting you first
To stop giving you my everything in exchange for nothing

Would you still be with me?

If I were to break open my heart
And give you my love and affection

Would you love me back?

If I keep giving and you keep taking
An never ending cycle

Would I have anything left?

And when finally I have nothing else to give, and u have nothing else you want

Would you still be standing here holding my hand?
Or would you just leave me behind

I wonder
Would you be any different from the rest?

You know....
I've changed in these past months
I didnt think you would notice
My speech and personality has escalated
It seems I've lost my focus

I'm empty from the longing
The airy feeling left in my chest
I'm speaking to you with no feeling
Surely I would jest

Its scary to think how much I cared
Everything I sacrificed
All the things I did for your sake
To think I was satisfied

You were like a sweet chocolate
Melting on my tongue
Only to reveal bitterness
Which kind of stung

I can't say I regret it though
Giving you all my time
I would do it all over again
Even if my love isint worth a dime

You know...
I've really grown
Since you left me here alone
I've managed to take your lead
But my sins will not be atoned

Now if I could really go back
I dont think I could
As I have friends that love me now
Life right now is good

I learned from you
And what we had
I noticed now
That our relationship was bad

You know...
Thought its labelled like that
As toxic and deadly
I still loved every moment
You were the first to hold me steady

The first to make me feel such want
intoxicated by the love we had
Drunken off our hearts beating in sync
Even if that was what caused us to sink

We sunk into the depth below
Further down then any man was willing to go
Freely falling into timeless space
throwing away the cruel reality that we both refused to face

You know...
By our ending
Where our ties became undone
Our final page was turned
And the ink had run to none
I loved you

With everything I had
I counted the Stars
Praying for a wish
a wish for eternity to be like this

Though silly wishes that are made upon stars
Dont last for eternity
And they tend to leave nasty scars
Though you left me
My feelings never changed
Even if the curtains have fallen upon the stage

You know....
The play does go on

Why now?
Out all these months, All this time
Why is it now that you think its okay to jump back into my life?
You vanish, I cut off everything for you
I left my heart behind in the dirt
I buried my love six feet underground
To forget you, like you forgot me
But here you are again
Acting as if nothing has changed
My phone gleaming with your messages
And I respond to you in a heartbeat
I have no self control
You're stirring up a storm
Though you don't know the effect
This intoxicating feeling you give to me
With a single word or a call
It sends my heart into flutters
I love you
No, I did love you
I need to stop this now
I can't fall back in again not after everything
Not after what I went through to get out
It hurts too much to try again
but everything about you draws me in
Your striking blue eyes that seem to mirror the sky
Long wavy hair, in a Carmel brown
Soft to the touch, gently running through my fingers
It sends a shiver down my spin to think
But its forbidden to return to that place
To that state of mind and time
We removed that memory
Along with our existence
So why is it now
Why now have you come back?


Please don't come back
because I am still
Unable to Resist

#

They say
if you fold a thousand paper stars
It'll make your wish come true
But it seems no matter
How many I fold
I'm still unable to be beside you

I'll fold them gently
Full of colors so bright
Softly and patiently
Till they are perfect and right

I wish and I hope
With all of my might
Though its seemed I'm lost
Within the dark of the night

Lucky stars
Made from paper
Strips with written meanings
Delicately placed within a glass bottle
Filled with my heartfelt feelings

Folding and bending
Changing the paper at will
To form a fragile little star
Let this small insignificant thing
Give me reason to move on
Allow it to give me faith to believe
To believe in this delusional dream

Its hard to stop and smell the flowers
When the sun in the sky don't shine

Its clouded within my mind
foggy and dimly lit
As if I'm floating on a cloud
Or sinking into the sea
As if everything around me is meaningless
Passing me by without a seconds glance
Surrounded by faces laughing with glee
Muted voices and blurry sences
I'm watching it from a silver screen
I raise my hand to reach out
To feel the warm of an affectionate touch
Gracing the faces my hand goes straight through
Like rippled water its cold and cool
Emotionless expressions and tightly pursed lips
All in dark colours, greys and blues
Its a hopeless feeling of being so lost
What can I do except sit back and watch
Doors wide open there is no lock and key
There is only this reflection sitting besides me
Holding my hand, boney and thin
He whispers to me with a raspy voice
Tell me dear what is your true sin
To which i reply
I'm unwilling to let people in
A barrier between them
Keeping them at 10 feet
Empty glass eyes gazing at the screen
I don't have the time, to sit there and weep
To which i suppose is why I stay here with you
A malicious grin stretched across his face
Dark Blue orbs filled with a sadistic appeal
To which i find comfort within them I yield
Then stay with me behind the curtains of the show
Because surely by now you realize
I'm never letting you go

I know.

#

You were
Poison coursing my veins
Rope around my neck
A Bullet to my brain
Leaving me in a wreak

You were a
Cold blade to my wrist
A sweet gentle kiss
Hard hitting fists
Bruises were hard to miss

You were
Sunrise at dawn
Fresh flowers in spring
Stars glistening in the sky
A beautiful diamond ring

You were all these things and more
Everything I desired
Your beauty was intoxicating
A deadly taste I had acquired

I miss you

I know I'm better off without you
As your love was killing me slowly
Though I reminisce of that ever so sweet venom
That drew me in so closely.

To be honest
I'm happy
I'm content with my life
I wouldn't change a thing
From the past to the present
All the people I loved
I'll never regret
And all the things that I've done
Even the things that leave holes in my chest
To all the mistakes I've made
And to all the people I've hurt
Each thing made me who I am
All the love and the pain
I wish for nothing more
Except for everything to stay in its place
But even when things stay
They still ever so slightly change
Changing in colour, in feeling and shape
To wish for the inevitable
That is part of my fate
There is no stopping time
I know this one well
But it still won't stop me hoping
Upon it I'll eternally dwell
To all the people in my life
And all those gone
I loved each moment spent with you
From the dusk to the dawn