I've left pieces of mysef in every place I've ever been
Under playgrounds, in closets, against the counter:
Everyplace I've tried to forget
Maybe that's why I'm ready to start a new life
Carve a new smile, a new pace over the one that was never mine
In some sort of reality, it's the god collecting those parts of me
Watching me trying to become someone I want to be--- Could never be
Suffocating loud; Where do I go now?
Where do I go back to collect those pieces to look away again
In my scrapbook
Each and every one with a note, but I can't remember where to look

For a girl to be sensitive, is a girl to be noticed
To be held back out of class to not disturb the others
A girl to be sensitive, under the tables in early grades
Crying and screaming for a sister who raised her
To be avoided from the teachers, to be avoided like the plague
To be avoided by the people, and friends that left when it took so long to make
A girl to be sensitive is one who is made to cry
To not know what it's like to be free, what it's like to fly
A girl to be sensitive has the fate of being broken
for she doesn't understand boundaries and times right to be spoken
A girl who was locked out of her mother's room
Face pressed to the crack only to ask for permission and for food
To see her mother's face only in the morning before dusk
when the babysitter came to take her place
And to see her mother's face in the drive to the gym
the place to be set again behind a wall, dividing them again
A girl who is sensitive, learns through many mistakes
but not known for learning, her stuff taken away
She'll never learn, it's not in her nature
but it's her social life that was shaped by crying and hurting
and for her to be called dramatic and immature
A girl to be sensitive is one of trial and error
To not tell a teacher when one is trying to be fairer
To not tell somebody when one is afraid of the big wide world
and to not tell somebody when her smile begins to fail
And when she awakens and realizes that what she does is a mistake
She wonders what it'll take to fly, fly far away
A girl to be sensitive is for her tears to be silenced
and told to stop being a baby, and to just be quiet
A girl who learns to forget because it hurts more to remember
and a girl to be known for someone who is never
not lying, not trying, and not being enough
always smiling not knowing that it was just strong to get through the tough
times that she believes isn't
She learns that a chance she doesn't take is to miss it
A girl to be sensitive is a girl to be unheard
because it becomes unimportant when it's her words her tears slur
To be noticed by only by her work, her assignments
always trying to be better, always trying not to not fail it
But even then this path is a blind one,
and told that she needs to work on it, she needs to get it done
A girl to be sensitive is one who is burned
one left behind in bathrooms until one's cries are quiet
or worse in a closet without light and a blanket by the wall
to shut up, to go to sleep to pass the time without a clock
A girl to be sensitive is one to be unwanted
And everyone wants to be wanted and desired
to be missed and to be held
but she learns that that's too desperate and she can't risk the love
so push them away, and lock those feelings in her own closet in her own mind,
herself shunned just like in real life
A girl to be sensitive is one doomed to be alone
to be in a grave in a forest, one marked by a stone
One dug by her fingers until her fingers become ****** and stiff
And for her to lie exhausted, to lie there
unmissed.

Some days, I carry my heart in my hands instead of my chest
Sore from being squeezed behind a cage for so long
Finally free, it cries crimson tears; hating me although it knows I'm doing it for the best
"My child," I say, "I'd rather you be locked away than you to break and be lost."

Some days, I would rather live in silence than survive through quick fixes
Some words aren't meant to come, and I'm told it won't last
People come and go, and I want someone to care, but each time I end up with stitches
So in the end, my own thoughts are what I have

Some days, I collect my tears, sweat, and blood
To convince myself that there is something more in society
Spend my days looking at the storm clouds. The only tears I give up
Unnoticed, in the midst of the loud, I leave quietly

It’s these times of night
Of which I watch all the stars
Feeling like a child

hide
against
angry screams
nobody knew where we were
if they opened the door
us like statues
every second
shaking
blank
switched off
motionless
still warm
checked pulse
nothing
no breathing
fall back
dead weight
rising like a heat mirage
cry

As much as I love storms, I can't help but cower under the clouds
Longing for some sort of bright light to push it away
So I bring down lines and lines upon these weary skies
Silent fog that settles bt atleast now I know fora bit this light will stay And I can focus on which is the right way
Even if it slowly kills me, day won't always seem like night

My life on that day wasn’t black and blue, or the pink on my face;
It was a canvas of white so I could paint the black away.
My life on that day was a million bridges and a million futures I could’ve picked
And I chose words to stumble, and words to fall
Out my mouth, to be stained onto those white clean walls
For those bridges I left at that river I drained, For they were all too clean and safe
So I packed up my bag, which carried my pen
And wrote down the words I knew I never said,
From those words, I built bricks and silver and screws and cement
But the words that I wrote, that I tried to use to play pretend
They were just imaginary
Some people had imaginary friends or monsters to haunt them at night
I had words that crawled and flew and bled out of my eyes
With sickly red, or clear of day
The glass I looked out of was rained on with black or red or white paint
My life on that day was when the words left me alone
The words I thought I was and who I knew I’d become
The house that I’d built as a safe place crumbled around me
My life on that day, I had realized, that it didn’t fall down all at once,
Not quick and erratic
Not all and one
It was the base that had eroded away

Mother, I spread my arms for you
as the nails beat into the flesh of my wrists
and the wood stings the skin of my back
I look up at the skies and pray that it rains
so that your garden will grow at last
and bear fruit that you'll want to share with me
but I'll be gone far too fast
Father, I raise my eyes for you
so that I'll see if there's tears when you cry
The phone will be answered for all but for me
and my sisters and my brothers will be free
No more time at the window, because we knew what to expect
no more times calling your name when locked out of the nest
So wear a cross or a ring maybe my name to mark
do not forget I was here
Sisters, I'll raise my chest for you
as I breathe in and out for as long as I can
until it becomes heavy with a weight I cannot bear
and my spirit shoots up into dusk
You held my hands as I first took steps
but clawed at my scars when we were on other ends of the battlefield
we were what we were raised to be,
and I love you forever til my rest
Brothers, I'll hold my face to yours
as my blood starts to run thin
Nose to nose you'll see we aren't that different
as you once thought
Fingers crossed that you'll reach the steps
you've prayed to reach a thousand times
and I hope that my blood will hit the earth
so that the sacrifice will be mine
Friends, wherever you were when the time had come
I will always hold my peace
for you were my stable when it thundered
and my flower for deaths the reaper will keep
In a circle we will rise, in a cycle we'll never leave
I hope that I'll meet you in my next life
otherwise I'll forever be near, hold your peace
My tears that I cry are for the gods that held me
and I not knowing their presence held fast
For regret that I will not stay too long
but relief as freedom will last
My heart will beat just one more time
for the people of this world
I hope that you will not cross the line
when the war goes on still
I'll give up all my lives if it means that you all will be safe
underneath the willow tree
we were all birthed under that place,
for our will to choose will be always free

Some say that the world will end in fire, and some say it’ll end in ice
Some say that the world will end in explosion, the cause of the despise
Some say that we’ll move to a world we’ll learn to love, to miss our home
That we destroyed, So we’ll fly away again into the stars but still we are alone
Some say that the world will end in darkness, when our beloved light goes out
Or the god that is said to rule us, will tire and we’ll never know what the story was about
Some say that the world will end in nothing, for we’ll not comprehend it when it comes
We’ll be angry or upset, in our last moments, or perhaps holding the ones we love
I don’t know how the world would end, but maybe it’ll end when we do
The earth will grow back into the place that it deserved to
Or maybe it will end when the world breaks apart, unable to hold itself any more
Or maybe it will be when we are the ones to tear apart, ****** and full of gore
Or maybe it will never end, and though we will stop life will continue on
In a universe without us, in a universe where we are all gone
Silence of the world, slowly rocking itself asleep
Our cries were no more, nothing else to believe
Perhaps we were not meant to be in the start, for this world is out to ****
And battling nature, we’ve begun to feast at each other, our own blood what spills
There are a million ways that the world will end, and for us it seems important
But we continue to ignore that we are the cause of almost all of them
Maybe the end doesn’t matter, because at the last page of a book we cannot write more
We do not write the story, the path of fate, we know not what’s in store
So maybe if we work to make it better than it was, and maybe make it last
And not be stuck in our heads about who to love, when the world’s ending so fast
Perhaps we don’t need a war, and maybe we need unity
But there must be some sort of end, even in eternity
We can just live today as if it doesn’t exist, smile some more instead of smiling so less
The people that will come will go, and it’s okay to make a mess
Remember to clean up, for someday this will all end, best to make a home out of nothing left
Let’s leave something so the ink doesn’t dry up too soon, write our own story
While fate writes ours too

Thunder bangs and children cry
hiding under their covers
wishing it all away
I sit, waiting
the rain slipping through my fingers
like every moment I tried to hold on to
how many days have I lasted, to this moment when I melt away?
How long for god's angry waters to flood this world? surely I can't stay
he had faith in people, and that itself is brave
to believe in a disease
forgiving not forgetting choosing who'll come and who'll leave
I wish I could hold the water
and have it cupped in my hands
like an object that is solid, grounding me
but water's not an anchor
and my shoes fill with sand
How long will it take for the waters to rise above my head?
despite the storm all is still
why am I most content
when there is a war
raging inside of me

If I could
I would go back
To take my weight off your shoulders

I broke my rules for you  
   As the sky had broken with my rain
Twice did the swinging bells ring
      Twice did the windchimes sway
Twice were chances given for you to hit true
      But alas, both arrows missed the target
Because both were aimed for my heart
      And silent, bleeding, did I take the bow


I broke my beliefs for you  
      As each line was rewritten in red ink
Burning paper drifted into ashes
      Aflame as the memories started to leave
Twice did the sky thunder into sparks
      Twice did the match fade back into smoke
Twice was the love chained and retained
      But alas, a heart is wild and will escape its cage
And twice, did it return beaten and bruised
      So silent, bleeding, did I take the bow

When they passed the paper to sell my voice, I signed it in a second
Kept my eyes to the sky, the consequences dire if I broke it
Promises pile up like unopened letters
My own words piling up behind a locked door
But if that's what it took to keep them safe
I guess I would just have to be brave
I watch others fall, and I reach for their hands
They're just out of reach, fingers brushing
Before I watch them turn to sand
Why am I so afraid? Why can't I fly away?
I could never make it far
If I told them what I scribble on my walls in my mind,
Would things become hard?
Would I break things, or again disappear?
Into the silence of the shadows, would I watch them there?
Or would I take back the paper, to watch my hands become free?
But my name is already signed, if that's what it takes to breathe

Voices keep me company, sometimes one, sometimes a crowd
O’er the mountains of withering roses
Comes black wine that slips down the wrists
Of which the shackles bind
They say to heal, they say to punish
But I just wish for one day of quiet

will the rain ever stop?
Will the clouds ever run?
Will the water run clear this soon?
Questions
that will spiral down this whirlpool
that begins to build
as the rain pours

World, forget me
For I am just another dandelion
blown away too soon in a field,
before the children came to play
World, forget me
because I am just another cut,
from the blade of society
To linger, and to disappear
World, forget me
because the seas will continue
to crash against the sands
and the clouds will continue
to rain against the ground
The winds will forever continue to blow,
world forget me,
because I'm just a candle
in a world of wildfires
To be blown out
once it kept someone warm
World, forget me
because my silence will bring peace
and absence will bring
a warm embrace,
to sweep across the lands
World, forget me
because one more window broken
is just another replaced,
forget me because
my breath will save
the one who needs it more
the ones in the closets,
the ones in the seas,
the ones in space
who can't come down to earth
World, forget me
because I am just one to the world
and none to one
so forget me, because
one more gone
wouldn't make a difference
especially one
lacking
everything
needed

You've done it again
      And you don't know that I watch your back
as you fall
   again
                and
                   again
You've done it again
       you shake
   in fear
       that you lost yourself
in their mirror
But darling, you've long since lost your heart
in their hands
So why.. Why do you now look for it?
You've done it again
        And I can only watch
as the sun pushes
        me
         away
but I'm always at your side