We are often seeking recognition
Some, more than others, crave it
Like an addict itching for their next dose

We do everything to achieve that feeling
Rewiring our individuality to follow social norms
All for the slightest boost of self esteem

But this addiction of ours is a curse
Its veil hides you from your real self
Locking it up in a cage for none to see

But you know it's there hiding in the dark
You're too afraid to bring it to light
For your fear of  loneliness keeps it silenced

I have changed, have you?
You hold my past against me
Can you let it go?

This bucket of mine
Has become a curse
I add to the pile
And it adds a verse
I keep it hidden
And tucked away
But its made apparent
Each and every day

I add to this bucket
And the weight piles on
This facade grows heavy
Tearing down my con
I fill this bucket
Up to the top
And when its full
It proceeds to pop

I cry and I scream
As I make ammends
This bucket of mine
That I cant show to my friends
I've grown up now
But my bucket has not
It wears its cracks
From the battles I've fought

Compassion, a gift
Though it's also a curse
How can I be idle
When I know you're hurt?
I shoulder your pain
And loan you my heart
Because when you're down
I have to do my part
But when its me on that stage
Feeling nothing but grief
I have this idle hope
As I grit my teeth
That you will be there
Offering your hand
But that hope's a lie
Because most can't withstand
This double edged sword
That few of us wield

Ask me why I write
And I'll stop and think
There's beauty in this world
And it passes in a blink
I explore these thoughts
And write them down
For words hold value
Whether it brings a smile, or a frown
It gives you insight
Into someone's mind
The way they feel
If you take the time
So that's why I write
For I enjoy it so
Because without poetry
The world would never know

Your
Words stole
The breath from
My lungs, the fire
From my heart and the
Spirit from my soul
All with just
Leave me
Alone

Friends, oh friends
Where did you draw that line?
We're shuffled around, bagged up and shelved
And somehow that's just fine
You claimed you'd help me when I needed it
And now I'm suffering is this what you meant?
You pushed me away, scared to take action
While this burden rolled down, gaining traction

I spiraled down, cracking to the core
Empty bottles of pills all sprawled out on the floor
You grew more distant while I tried to reach out
Plaguing my mind with these crushing waves of doubt
I expected more and I was let tragically down
As my problems spread and gained all of this renown

I was broken, I was battered and sore
When did helping, become such a chore
But I forgave you, for all of your faults
It just hurt me, to watch this friendship halt
You preach about helping by noticing the signs
But when I was apparent you just ignored mine
Now years have passed and we've grown up
We don't talk but that's good enough
Please dont feel sorry, for the things that you did
I hold no grudge, for we were just kids

These eyes are weighted
Offering peace to this fight
Sleep sweeps me away