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2.3k · Jul 2015
The Sad Reality of Life
Ally Jul 2015
I just want to disappear

I want peace

I'm tired of living in this world

With full of Backstabber and synthetic people.

Sometimes, there were people who always lift me up

But as I see things now, I think they also disappear

They really proved that people *****.

It's when you need help, no one is there.

It's when you think that someone deserves you trust,

but they proved they don't.

It's when you're confused who is really true to you.

It's when you don't want to talk to anyone anymore.

Then you'll know that no one really deserves it.

Living in this world is ain't it fun anymore.

How I wish I can go somewhere

Where no one knows who I am; or what's my story

Where I can find people who are not like the people I used to be with.
2/6/2015

Lol Nah. I remember this. I wrote this at school while we're doing nothing (and I really hadn't checked the grammar so correct me if I'm wrong lol). There was an election on our school and I'm one of the candidates. And there was an issue between candidates (and actually it's normal). There are many people who asked about the issue, about our opinion about it. Then we thought they actually agree with us, or they won't spread those things we said to them, but no. They stub us in the back. Yes, fake. By the way, the candidates including me were now okay. But one thing I learned: trust no one even yourself. Gave your trust to God, He is the only one who will never hurt nor disappoint you. :)
1.7k · Jul 2015
Socrates
Ally Jul 2015
It's been ten months since we started

New classmates, new teachers.

New classrooms,

New seatmates,

New memories to create with,

New challenges to face.

Everything is new.

I thought I wouldn't enjoy this school year

I thought I wouldn't miss this

I thought it wouldn't be unforgettable

But unfortunately, I was wrong.

In my years of high school,

this is the BEST section ever.

There may be a misunderstanding at first,

between our lovely teachers and us

but at the end, we are still one.

We had joined many competitions,

we had also faced many fights between each other

but still, our friendship is still the same.

We lost many speech choir,

we won a reader's theater,

we didn't make it to be on musical theater,

but we performed at runway.

Our teachers always hate us

because of our noisy classroom.

Our school year may not be perfect,

but the memories we created was absolutely perfect

that you will think at night

and realized that you don't want to leave the Grade 9 life.

But then, you have to let go in order for us to grow

Our journey may end today,

but friendship and memories last for a lifetime.

just like what our teacher said,

"in every beginning there's an ending,

but in every ending there's a new beginning."

maybe it's our time to say goodbye

to the beautiful things we had share with.

and say welcome to the new memories,

new classmates,

new teachers,

new classroom.

And also, to the new chapter

of our high school life.
03/20/2015

10 PM
1.1k · Nov 2017
If it comes back
Ally Nov 2017
Left things at goodbye
Pursued our separated lives
And we let go...

Then once upon a time,
Our paths crossed
We talked and laughed;
Everything returned.

They say if you love something,
Let it go.
If it comes back,
It's yours.

I'm still afraid --
Now that he came back,
But still he wasn't mine?
What if still, it wasn't meant to be?
11/03/17  11:11 am
825 · Jul 2015
The Perks of One-Sided Love
Ally Jul 2015
I love the way you speak

I love the way you tease me

I love the way you make jokes

I love the way you answer math problems

I love the way you care about others more than yourself

I love the way you share about your beliefs

I love the way how intelligent you are

I love the way how you respect women

and I love every single idea of you.

But also I hate myself

For loving you with all of these things

I know, you didn't feel the same

I know, you didn't like me as much as I like you.

I hate the fact that I'm getting too attached again

With someone I can't have.

I hate myself that I still didn't learn

From what happened in the past.

This is how powerful love is

That you are "secretly" loving someone,

But hating yourself at the same time.

But after all, I'm starting to accept the reality

And I have to stop all of these stupid things,

Because you're still in the idea of

"We are just friends."
7/10/15

1:32 PM
755 · Dec 2016
B l u e s
Ally Dec 2016
Words could be a dangerous thing.
Once they are said, they can’t be forgotten.
But what’s more even dangerous is the idea of ‘you’
Once, you felt home but soon became storm.

Love stories could be a wonderful thing.
Once they are read, they can fascinate us.
But our story wasn’t perfect as everyone would expect,
It narrates how you put me into dark abyss of loneliness.

Songs could be a powerful magic.
Once they are heard, they give meaning to everything.
Yet our song consists of sad melody and unsaid words,
It is pleasant until it drowns you.

And like a photograph that captures everything,
That is supposed to be kept on your pocket.
But our photograph isn’t worth to keep
I’d rather let it carried by flood along with your memories.
120816 //  10:30PM
Everything we consider as beautiful could be destroyed by the wrong people in our life.
631 · Jan 2018
Our Song
Ally Jan 2018
Our story was like our favorite song.

I knew every details of you, like every beat and rhythm of a song;

I could tell the things I loved
about you, like how I sing it from the heart.

I knew how our story began like every intro of a song;

I also knew how it’s going to end, like a farewell song.

And you in my mind was worth-having last song syndrome;

But your good bye still repeats in my brain like a chorus.

You’re still my favorite song after all.
1/28/18
507 · Jan 2018
Luna
Ally Jan 2018
She was like moon,
Existed everyday and watched people passed her by;
Her beauty was breathtaking,
Yet people only notice her during eclipse;
When all she really wanted is to be accepted,
For being simple yet stunning–
Just the way she is.
1-31-18 Super blue blood moon was breathtaking indeed ♥
494 · Feb 2017
Old Friend
Ally Feb 2017
It's nice to see you again,
My old friend.

It's been a while since we met.
As far as I remember,
I'm the one who pushed you away.
You wanna know why?
Because it seems like your presence,
Slowly destroying every part of me.

But I can still recall the good old days,
When it seems like no one's here for me,
I know you're only two steps behind.
You know me more than anyone else.
But old friend,
Why does it feel like you have dark secrets?

Now I know.
Naïve minds, young people.
These are your victims.
You became also their friend,
When it seems like they don't have one.
But if you're a good friend,
Then why did you let them
To slit their wrists?
Is this how you keep someone at peace?

Old friend,
Can you hear their voice,
Screaming and asking for help?
How about those cries,
When they locked themselves into the bath room,
As they mourn to their despair life?
You're a great pretender:
You pretend like you care
When in reality, you really don't.

That's why I hate you.
A friend known by everyone
Suddenly became an enemy.
You ruined minds,
You ruined dreams,
A friend who felt home
But became disaster of many lives.

And now,
I can see you here again, in front of me,
Wanting to have place on my mind.
Now I know your deep dark secrets,
I don't want to be one of your victims.
I may have a vulnerable heart,
I may be naïve,
But you can’t control me,
As I'm tougher than what you think.

Good bye, old friend.
Our dark thoughts,
Our own demons.
No, not me. I'm not depressed. I just want to speak in behalf of them.
472 · Jul 2015
4 PM Thoughts
Ally Jul 2015
It's 4:39,

And I'm thinking about you for the 99th time

Too much what if's on my mind

And still not fine.

Songs that we used to sing,

Made me stop from breathing

'Cause my heart is breaking

And I'm slowly drowning.

Maybe I still love you

And still into you.

But I know it's over

And there's no sense of writing another chapter.

So now, I'm saying goodbye

After so many times I try

Maybe it's now okay,

To stop it and walk away.
6/28/15

4PM :)
425 · Sep 2017
Art lovers
Ally Sep 2017
I'm the pen and you're the paper
We combine together
To express one's inner thoughts
To create words and phrases
Still unwritten.
We're inseparable.
- him

I'm the brush and you're the palette
We paint together
To create beautiful artworks,
To add colors
In this grayscale world.
No wonder why we both love arts.
- **her
407 · Jan 2018
Those nights
Ally Jan 2018
Remember the nights –
We sat outside and gazed at the sky;
We wrote our names into constellations,
Shared our dreams and promises
And swore them to the stars.


There’ll be something in the night sky
That I’ll be forever fascinated by it,
And those times always happen
when I’m with **you.
5:25 PM / 1-31-18 ; I'm so excited to watch the lunar eclipse + super moon later ♥
Ally Jul 2015
To the people who used to be her best friend

but now their frienship is gonna be end,

Do you even remember her

after you met a new one?

Do you even remember

When she's the one

who's always there

when your new friend isn't here?

A big shoutout for some of her classmate

who did nothing but to hate,

for saying she doesn't deserve to be on the top

while now her rank is just going up.

"Talent? she doesn't have. even singing nor dancing"

But hey, she's good at drawing, acting, designing,

lettering and even at writing!

To those who treat her as an option,

she'll stay away from you, from now on.

To those who knows nothing but to ignore,

She'll no longer bother or talk to you, anymore.

To those who say she can't do it,

Oh, she's so sorry for disappointing you.

Thank you for underestimating,

Thank you for not believing,

Thank you for not listening,

Thank you for not supporting.

Because there would be more poems to come

and more ideas to come.

For every moment you hurt her,

The more she find strength to write more.
5/3/2015

3:20AM

Spread love, not hate.
381 · Jul 2015
Irony
Ally Jul 2015
It's when it takes darkness to see the light

It's when someone says 'I'm always here for you'

And then walks away in your life

It's when you find a right person at a wrong time

It's when we forgot some things worth remembering

And remember some things worth forgetting

It's when you can make other people happy

But not yourself

It's when you gave advice to others

But you can't apply to yourself

It's when 'love' is the most beautiful thing on Earth

But sometimes it can be the 'worst' thing

It's when good things happen in goodbyes

It's when your best friend turn into enemy

It's when you say 'happy' and then 'ending'

It's when you post on Facebook

about how useless the Facebook is

It's when you wash your car and then rains

It's when you find out that

the Britain's biggest dog was named 'Tiny'

It's when you didn't even study

But you pass your exam

It's when someone becomes a pilot

But has a fear of heights

It's when you end up loving a person

you really hate the most

It's when you find my works as 'boring'

But you still read it.
4/26/2015

4:40 AM
364 · Aug 2015
Past
Ally Aug 2015
A simple 4 letter-word
But has a great impact to our lives
That was meant for us to learn
And give some lessons in life.
No matter how hard we try to forget it
It will keep is bothering and bothering.
Because past will be always a part of us.
And what we are today
Is because of the past.
It maybe good or bad
Maybe we can't understand it today
But somehow, it has always a good reason.
And that realization will come someday.
Scars from the past
Cant be erased nor deleted
It can be only healed.
And there will be a person
Who will help you to fix and heal it
And put all your broken pieced back together.
You can't find him now,
But he's always there, somewhere.
All we need is one thing,
And that's what you call right time.
8/12/15
10:00 PM
Took only 10 minutes to write this
360 · Jul 2015
Brighter Side of Life
Ally Jul 2015
It's been a long night, very tiring night

Where all you want is to lie down

Where all you want is peace in your mind

Where all you want is to runaway--

Runaway from problems and stressful world

But then you realized

You have another day to face,

Then you'll have no choice

to wake up in the morning

To face challenges in life

To continue your journey

And in the end,

You'll learn what life is really all about

You'll learn that it's not about fake people anymore

It's not about the judgement of people around you

It's not about the problems

It's about you

It's about loving yourself

It's about spending your life with right people

It's about little things

It's about being yourself

It's about being positive in any challenges

It's about learning.

It's not perfect like what we expected

But there are so much things to be happy about.

All you have to do is to appreciate life.
4/13/15
347 · Jan 2018
Miles Away
Ally Jan 2018
She wakes up with a “good night” from him;

He sleeps with a “good morning” from her.

They may be separated by distance

But in their hearts, they aren’t.
1/21/18
341 · Jul 2015
Don't You Ever Dare
Ally Jul 2015
Don't you ever dare to message me,

if you're only bored.

Don't you ever say you miss me,

Just because you need something.

Don't say you need me,

If you don't know how to stay.

Don't you ever let me fall with your words,

If you'll never catch me.

Don't you ever dare to promise something,

If you don't know how to fulfill it.

Don't you ever dare to talk with me,

like nothing happens.

Don't you ever say you love me,

If it's just a lie.

Don't you ever dare to say these things to me,

If you don't mean it.

Maybe I'm already tired,

Tired of hoping that everything will go back

the way we used to be.

Tired of wasting my tears while thinking of you.

Tired of listening to your beautiful lies

that comes from your beautiful mouth.

Tired of believing to your eyes,

the way they look at mine.

Tired of being stupid.

Tired of drowning.

Tired of being hurt.

Tired of being blame at the end.

I just wanted to be happy.

Nothing more, nothing less.

If you love me, tell me.

If you don't, then leave.

Stop making it complicated

When we both know

that this will lead to nothing.
6/14/2015 1:57 PM

#Eme101
333 · Jul 2015
Life is A Story
Ally Jul 2015
Life isn't perfect;

The road is full of stones

That's meant for you to stop or to continue.

Walking through it isn't easy;

It's not the straight path as we expect.

It's unfair, yes.

And maybe even though you have 'acceptance'

but how could you accept the things

that's in the first place, it's unfair?

Also, there are people

who'll broke your heart.

Sometimes, those could be either

your bestfriend, or your enemy.

It's more likely a story;

without antagonist,

the story wouldn't be exciting to read.

It has a lot of plot twists.

The moment you thought it's happy ending,

but you'll realize that it's just beginning.

That's why I salute the protagonist

in every story.

Because after all, they survived.

How I wish I was them.

The one who could survive

and could be brave.

The one who's strong enough

That even storm couldn't break them down.

But actually, I can.

But the real question is,

How could you even dare to survive

If the ones who support you

became the antagonist of your story?
5/13/2015

2AM
323 · Jul 2015
The Fault in Her Friends
Ally Jul 2015
She's on the window tonight



Staring at those lights



Looking at the stars that shines bright



Wishing that it will be alright



Her friends think she's happy



but they are the reason of her being unhappy



When she's with them, she felt she's not belong



All the time, she felt terribly alone.



While she's writing this poem, she's crying



Just like the rain outside that's pouring



She want to say this to someone



but the only person can understand her is no one.



She's tired; not just physically



but emotionally



tired because they always leave her



whenever they met someone better



She may not be a kind of friend



that's cool as their idols



but she can be their best friend 'til the end



and can be true at all.
319 · Oct 2017
I never knew it
Ally Oct 2017
I never knew it
Until one day and our song played,
Her hand in mine
Her head on my shoulder.
We danced slowly
While our hearts and song synchronize.
I never knew love back then,
Not until that day.

I never knew it
Until one Saturday night,
We were sitting in a couch,
Our favorite movie on the television.
She'd slept again beside me
While I watched her the whole time.
I never knew perfection
Not until she was right there.

I never knew it
Until we talked random things,
Then we came up with our dreams.
She said she want a happy family
But I wanted her in my life.
I never knew future,
Not until I saw it with her.

I never knew it,
Until her dreams became ours.
With her and our children,
I finally found a home.
I never thought lifetime,
Not until I held her hand as I took my last my breath.
101517//1am
315 · Jul 2015
Dear God
Ally Jul 2015
If you know how thankful am I

For the supportive family,

For the friends who are always there.

Whenever I'm sad,

they're always there to make me happy.

Whenever I have problems,

They're always there to help me.

Whenever I cry,

there's always a shoulder to cry on.

Whenever I'm feeling down,

They're always there to lift me up.

Whenever I'm afraid of something,

They're always there to told me don't be.

Whenever I want to give up,

They're always there to give me strength to continue.

Life may be not perfect sometimes,

But with these people,

It feel it's perfect.

Maybe it has a lot of challenges,

But you're not always alone to face them.

How I wish they exist forever,

Because without these people,

My journey in this life wouldn't be meaningful.
12/03/2014

2:07 AM

PS. I dedicated this to my dearest classmates (Socrates), for their support for my one of the unforgettable contest I'd joined in my High School life, the Ecolavah #Fascienista 2015. ♥
311 · Sep 2018
empty room and empty heart
Ally Sep 2018
too dark and an empty room
only a clock  ticking and beat of a heart can be heard
thoughts were too messed
she never felt so lonely like this.
12:16 AM // 092718
309 · Jul 2015
Greater Than Everything
Ally Jul 2015
From the day I was born

From the first time I opened my eyes,

I believe in You.

My fear turns into faith

My weakness turns into strength

My dreams turn into hope

My sadness turn into happiness

My problems turn into blessings

You're the reason why I live

And I will give thanks to You, forever.

You're the only one who's there when no one was.

You're the only one I trust in everything

Because Your plans are better than mine.

You always give me strength when I need it.

You never failed.

You're greater than my worries

You're greater than my regrets

You're greater than my failures

You're greater than my everything.
4/13/2015
302 · Jul 2015
Should I
Ally Jul 2015
Should I text you first

So that you'll notice me?

Should I talk to you first

So that I would know how bad your day is?

Should I call you now

So that I could hear your voice?

Should I tell to you that I miss you

Even though you don't care?

Should I still listen to song that reminds me of me of you

Even though it hurts?

Should I invite you in parties

So that I could spend my day with you?

Should I still laugh

Even at your stupid jokes?

Should I still write poems about you

Even though you don't deserve it?

Should I blame myself for not telling these

Until it's too late?

Should I let myself

Seeing you happy with someone else?

Should I blame myself for being sad

Because you're now deeply madly inlove with someone else?

Should I forgot your name

When your friends tell me something about us

Should I blame myself

for not knowing that we had the same feelings before?

Should I blame myself because if I tell these to you,

There's you and me at the end?

Should I just accept the fact

That there's no more 'us'

Or should I still hold to the idea that

There's hope on us?
4/23/15

2 PM
297 · Jul 2015
She's Still Into Him
Ally Jul 2015
They started at "Hello"

They ended up saying to each other "Hell no"

They said "I love you" a while

But now, they can't even smile.

They travel together

They made promises to each other

He said there's forever

But it was just a lie either.

They always had a good conversation

But now, it could be just an "imagination"

They can't even say a word

Because they're not included in each other's world.

Maybe it was a sad reality

That she doesn't even want to see.

The fact that he's happy with his somebody

While she is all alone and unhappy.

Maybe times flies so fast

And nothing or no one lasts.

And again, for the second time, if they ever meet

She would say 'Thank you for being a part of it.'

After all, she can't find another like him,

Because she's maybe too blind

Because whatever she does, he's still on her mind.

Because she's still into him.
4/20/2015

10PM.

Lol that never happens in real life. I just tried to write a poem with rhyme. :)
291 · Jul 2015
Always
Ally Jul 2015
Hi.

It's me again.

I don't want to bother you anymore.

But for the last time,

I'll say these things to you.

Just always remember,

I'm always here when you need me.

But as I see things right now,

I guess you don't need me anymore.

'cause you're already happy with them.

Sorry if I can't make it like 'em.

'cause I'm just a simple girl.

'cause I'm not rich.

I'm not a jolly person like 'em.

I'm not cool.

I'm not a person who's happy to be with.

But I'll say to you,

You can never find a girl like me,

Or a friend like me.

I'm hoping one day,

When you're not already happy with them,

You'll remember,

There's always a girl who's willing to be with you

Always.
290 · Oct 2017
Time
Ally Oct 2017
Maybe five or ten years from now
Everything will be okay
And time's finally right.
No more odds can break us--
Just you and me,
And our happy ending.
But right now,
We still have a long journey
And still have to fight against everything.
All I ever wanted to know now,
Is your willingness to wait.
- her
...
Timing is hard to deal with
When time is the mastermind of all games.
But I'll gladly play the game,
And save you from distress
Where years from now,
I'll be finally your man.
If this will lead to church,
Then I would spend the rest of my life to wait
Just to see you walking down the aisle.
**- him
285 · Jul 2015
End
Ally Jul 2015
End
It was raining,

Tears falling as the raindrops fall

You left me without telling the reason at all.

From your words, I'm drowning

That's why I didn't stop you from leaving

I'm standing there,

Watching you walk away and go somewhere

All I did was to cry

And ask myself why.

How can you end us like this?

And that's the start of flashback of memories.

Seeing you happy and laughing,

While my heart is breaking.

Isn't it unfair?

I can see all of these like a nightmare.

Pretending I'm fine

Pretending you're still mine

Hoping one day,

Someday.

At my door, you will knock

And you will come back.

But honey, it's too late

And maybe that's our fate.

You're happy and in love with somebody

Someone, better than me.

I have to stop holding on,

And let myself move on.

I'm tired of this situation,

And I wanted to be alone.

I have you to let go,

And let ourselves to grow.

Those memories-- I have to forget

Meeting you is not a regret

But you taught me a lot of things,

That's the best thing I gained,

Even though it gave me a lot of pain.

Goodbye to you, my man.

And this is how our story end.
6/23/2015

12:45 AM. Can't sleep. LOL
282 · Dec 2016
How to forget?
Ally Dec 2016
Have you still remember
Those songs we used to sing
While playing your guitar?
I know it's been years
And I should forget those things
But somehow I found myself
Still playing those songs
And still singing
While playing my guitar.
Still it feels the same
But the only diffence was
You are not here anymore.
And yes, I know
You're now singing those songs
To her, and not to me.
I bet you even already forgot
How my voice sounds.
But every words you say
From the first time we met
Were still in my mind
And I don't even know
How to forget these things.
I promised to throw my poems--
Old poems made for you
But the saddest thing was
I found myself
Writing about you again
Because I know,
That's only thing I can do
Whenever I miss you
After the long time we haven't talk.
Sorry, but I guess
I have to cut my hair again
After breaking my promise.
11/22/16
8:20PM
"And I will try to fix you."
"Oh take me back to the start."
"Wait for me to come home."
282 · Dec 2016
Damsel in Distress
Ally Dec 2016
I'm a princess
A beautiful young girl
Living in a huge castle
That no one can enter.
I like being on my own;
Not being defined by another person.
But everything has changed
When one time,
I'm a damsel in distress.
I need somebody to help me
When you suddenly came up.
A knight in shining armor
Helping a princess in trouble.
And that's how our story started.
We got a glimpse of chance
Of getting to know each other
When suddenly the antagonist came.
She wanted to destroy everything;
Including you and me.
That ugly woman who's jelous
And he wanted to get you.
Until one day,
She made us far apart
From each other.
Ten years ago,
I'm still waiting for you.
You promised that you'll comeback.
And you never failed me.
You suddenly came up while saying
"Would you like to runaway with me?"
And I said yes.
You said you wanna build a new castle
With your queen and that's me.
Then, we live happily ever after.
032616
281 · Oct 2015
Monsters
Ally Oct 2015
When I was a kid,
My mother always told me
that I shouldn't be afraid of monsters
because they don't really exists.
She asked me,
if why I'm afraid with them.
"Because they are bad"
that's what I said.
But as I grow up,
I realized that there was something wrong about it.
I realized the fact
That monsters exist.
Sometimes they were good,
Sometimes they had this angelic face
Sometimes they had this persuasive voice.
Monsters do really exist
But they were no longer under my bed
Rather they were beside me
That everyone thought they were a friend
But has a bad intention.
4:38 AM
can't sleep. Happy Halloween pfft
280 · Sep 2017
Little secret
Ally Sep 2017
Unspoken things,
Wrapped in a smile;
Unsaid feelings,
Behind that gaze.
Together, we kept it in a secret
Called "just friends".
9/22/17 1:30AM
276 · Apr 2017
FRIENDS
Ally Apr 2017
As time passes
Everyone and everything changes.
It may be hard to let go
But sometimes, it’s the only thing to do.

We look back to these photos,
Never realized how fast the days and nights,
Never realized we’re growing up too
Until ‘today’ became a memory.

Clock is still ticking
Until we need to chose the path we want to take
But promise, the memories we make
Will be forever in my heart ‘til it’s beating.

Distance may take us apart
But I’ll say that wherever I go,
There will be always a spot for you
A special place that can still recall, even when the mind forgets.

When someday, our song comes on the radio
I’ll be glad to sing it with a smile on my face
Remembering how unforgettable our memories were
Remembering I had a friend like you.
Missing my friends // 32717 4:35AM
274 · Jul 2015
Fear
Ally Jul 2015
After all the things happen to me
I'm so glad that I've met you
Maybe I lose him
But now, I have you.
A simple hello from you
Suddenly gave a color to my back and white world.
Late night conversation is the best
Not seeing each other  is not a problem
Even though we're busy in some stuffs
Yet we still end up giving each other a time.
After from what happened to us in the past
Suddenly disappeared and forgotten.
'Coz all we know for today
Is we're both happy with each other.
But sometimes, what if's is still there
And still I always ask myself.
What if you're only bored?
What if you'll also leave me?
What of this is just a "here we go again?"
What if one day will come,
And you'll be able to see my flaws,
Then suddenly you gave up to me?
What if you find also someone better than me?
What if all of these things
Are just a temporary?
Though I have this kind of fear
I still forgive you
I still believe you're different
But I'm preparing for myself
If one day, these what ifs will happen.
So that it won't be hurt too much
So that I wont cry again.
After all, I'm still thankful to you
For being a part of my life
For helping to fix myself
For making me feel I'm loved
For healing these wounds.
All you have to do is stay
And I promise, I will be the same.
7/21/15 10:26 PM
272 · Oct 2015
Maybe not this time
Ally Oct 2015
You hold my hand
as if you'll never release it
You gave me this kind of happiness
that only you can give it
You told me about your favorites
that I realized we have lots of similarities
You told me about your dreams
that I can see the glimmer in your eyes
You told me about your plans in future
And you said I was there in every part of it.
Then suddenly I wake up from reality
That we still have a long journey
before we get from there.
There may be a possibility
that you and I aren't for each other
Maybe you'll wake up one day
and you'll realize you're not sure with me
or maybe we may change our minds.
But the worst thing I realized,
Maybe I found the right one,
We just met at wrong time.
4:27 am can't sleep pffft
263 · Jul 2015
Everything Has Changed
Ally Jul 2015
It started from simple "hello"
And suddenly the memories came back
It feels like it's our first time to meet each other,
And I don't know why I feel this kind of happiness.
We talked about how are we,
After so many years we didn't meet.
You said you're okay
And I said I'm okay too,
But spending these years without each other
Is such a different.
All I know is we're just friends,
But now, everything has changed
But we like to pretend this is nothing, though
When we both know there's something.
7/16/15
11:00 Am
At school, English time :D
254 · Jan 2016
C H A N G E S
Ally Jan 2016
So here I am again,
Finding myself writing this poem.
Because this time, I used to talk with you
But now, you're busy or maybe sleeping.
I can't hide this sadness anymore.
Whenever I'm reading your old messages
I realized the worst thing;
I realized that there's something changed
Still asking myself how did this happen
It was like a week ago
And we're still okay.
But I don't understand why there's something,
Something that is bothering me.
Maybe I'm afraid that one day,
Those fear that I have will happen.
Fear of losing someone,
Someone who became part of my life.
However, I still find myself,
Holding to these things back when we're okay
Hoping that those things are enough,
Enougj for you to don't leave.
But for now, all I could say
Is I really miss you,
As well as the old us.
01/03/16 11:47 PM
...or maybe I'm just paranoid.
250 · Jul 2015
Sunset
Ally Jul 2015
It's almost 5:30 in the afternoon,

And I'm staring again to this sunset

The yellow-orange light that reflects to the water

Which makes the water in the sea shining and shimmering.

I felt happy, relaxed and calm

But somehow, it makes me sad and lonely.

I remember the last time I watch sunset

There was nobody else but only you.

Your beautiful eyes staring at mine,

While holding my hand

Saying "I love you

And I'll never leave you alone."

I thought it was the start of forever

But now, it was only a dream.

A dream that I never wanted to wake up from.

A dream and a memory I can't escape.

Now, I'm holding a letter from you.

I let it slip off from my hand;

and let it sink and gone in the water.

How I wish forgetting you

Was easy as that.

That I could burn every single memory of you

And let it disappear from my mind.
7/20/15

2:57 AM :)

Inspired by my wallpaper in my PC. Hahahaha lol
242 · Sep 2018
footsteps
Ally Sep 2018
Go where your heart takes you, I said.
Without any hesitant,
I stared at your footsteps walking away from me.
12:32 AM 0992718
232 · Jan 2016
W A I T I N G
Ally Jan 2016
Midnight.
I'm supposed to be sleeping now
But I'm here, lying on my bed.
Waiting for your message and reply.
You always used to message me in midnight.
Just to say "Good night and God bless"
But as I looked into my messages
And there was no name of you
So I tried to close my eyes once again
And there's still no message from you.
Then I asked myself:
Am I waiting for nothing?
Suddenly these tears fall.
As I realized that everything really changed.
But I tried to take off that idea in my mind
So I message you again
Hoping the next day I wake up
These tears will fade and I'll finally smile
As I see a simple message
Coming from you.
01/04/16 12:03 AM
Happy new year btw
229 · May 2018
Wishful thinking
Ally May 2018
Maybe some odds tell us
Even in our deepest desires
Even if we truly love them,
We know they deserve better.

But in our deepest sorrow and loneliness,
Somehow
We always want to be their 'better'
Despite of knowing that we can't be.
5/8/18 9:47 PM
228 · Oct 2015
Untitled
Ally Oct 2015
Hi, how are you?
Tell me the places you have been to.
It's been years since we didn't met.
It's been also years since you left
That's the time where everything's a mess
And life's full of sadness
Then you left speechless
Like you're really heartless
Oh, why are you crying?
Don't worry, I'm done with the stage of forgetting
I dont need your sorry
I'm already happy
Maybe I forgive you already
But things will never go back the way they used to be
Why are you not speaking? Are you okay?
Oh, just so you know, I'm on my way
To the place we used to go
Do you want to go with me?
But there's someone waiting for me, sorry
Everything is too late,
That's all I could say
And anyway
It's nice to meet you, again.
9/18/15
2pm ;)
208 · Dec 2016
Why
Ally Dec 2016
Why
"Am I not good enough?"
I asked myself once again
As I looked into my mirror.
I am the kind of girl with no insecurities;
I know I'm excellent in many ways.
I just don't understand,
Why people still choose to leave.
I always bump with these guys
Who ended up on the same girl,
Who always choose that girl than me.
So here I am again,
Looking for my imperfections,
Comparing myself to her.
I guess,
I am now a girl with insecurities.
Everything changed, including myself.
And the reasons are always the same;
Always the same person.
Always in the same situation.
Tell me why is this happening.
Is this a punishment?
But why??
I always do good.
Isn't good enough?
Tell me why.
Too many questions yet,
No one dares to answer.
3-6-16
12:44 am
Thoughts once again. Tears once again.
203 · Sep 2017
Wandering
Ally Sep 2017
While the world is in chaos,
She opens her book
And begins to wander--
The only thing that saves her
From everything.
165 · May 2019
This is how it feels like
Ally May 2019
In the midst of war

between her heart and her mind,

"Enough," she finally said.



so she kept her heart, somewhere unreachable

but enough to get a sunlight

enough to be watered daily

enough to make it alive.



and when the flowers from it grew already,

the leaves were more alive than before

she finally wear it in her sleeve.



and to her surprise,

her heart still echoed the same name.



her heart grew with a space

for someone she haven't talked for a while;

only to find it more peaceful this time.

"i bet this is how letting go feels like," she uttered.
50619 // 06:15PM
162 · Feb 2018
Little Hope
Ally Feb 2018
Busy streets and busy people;

Her thoughts recall only one name.


“I wish you were here –” she said.


So she grabbed her earphones

And played their song;

With a little hope that he had the same thoughts, too.
2/19/18 11:30 PM
161 · May 2018
Otherwise
Ally May 2018
He likes prose, while she loves poetry.
He loves short stories, while she loves novel.
He's a composer, while she's a writer.
He plays intruments, while she doesn't.
She loves music, but not as much as he does.

And it's just that--
Almost the same, but somehow different.
But at the end of the day, it only says one thing:
One cannot fit in a world telling him to do otherwise.

And he'd to accept the painful reality of how things aren't always meant for each other.
5/8/18 5:54 AM
143 · Aug 2017
Two sides
Ally Aug 2017
I’ll always love those eyes.
Like the night sky we always watch,
It catches everyone’s heart including mine.
But I love it more when those eyes can’t lie.
It shines as she talks about her favorites,
But looks so heavy when she’s suffering.
I’ll always love those eyes,
But times had changed,
They will never meet mine again.
-him

I’ll always love that smile,
Like the scenery he always love to photograph,
It captures everyone’s heart including mine.
But I love it more when it obliterates all the chaos.
When I talk about my favorites, he smiles.
When I’m suffering, his smile heals all the wounds.
I’ll always love that smile,
But times had passed,
I’ll never be the reason again behind it.
*-her
8/27/17 3:42 PM
134 · May 2019
some days
Ally May 2019
Some days

You talk to me about how was your day

Some days

You share your deepest secrets

Some days

I feel so entitled that I want to demand more from you

Some days

I don't want anybody to know you like I do

But some days

We don't talk at all

Some days

I feel like an option

Some days

I feel like we're strangers

Then there are some days

I like to pretend you're all mine

And some days

You pretend like I'm all yours

Little did you know,

Most of my days

I often ask myself,

"What are we?"
021019 11:04 AM
133 · May 2019
choices
Ally May 2019
One of the greatest pleasures

In life is

to be given a freedom

To choose

What you want in life

But it only becomes painful

When you have to choose

To accept the pain

Of choosing your own happiness

Over

the person you love.
111518 // 1:53AM

— The End —