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3.8k · Sep 23
Self-doubt
Arpitha Sep 23
Reading my poems -
Am I a good poet?
Am I a poet?
3.6k · Sep 17
Auto-pilot
Arpitha Sep 17
Running on auto pilot -
wonder when it will give up,
and refuse to move.
1.3k · Sep 16
Feel
Arpitha Sep 16
Stop asking me
What I feel
How I feel
Why I feel

I feel nothing
and
Everything.

Everything is out of control
A game of waiting
for the end.
1.2k · Sep 22
Leave
Arpitha Sep 22
My heart, so often,
threatens to break from my chest—
just go, wherever you must.
1.1k · Aug 20
Burden
Arpitha Aug 20
What does it feel like?
To wake up and be happy about it
To not want to be one with the bed
To not feel like a burden, to everyone and everything.
1.1k · Sep 8
Picture perfect
Arpitha Sep 8
Silent baby
Obedient toddler
Sincere child
Disciplined teen
Obliging adult
Doting wife
Picture perfect
depressed & anxious
shell of a human.
958 · Sep 17
Let me be
Arpitha Sep 17
Can’t do this no more
Don’t make me
I’m tired to the bone
Just let me be.
872 · Sep 10
Dreams vs nightmares
Arpitha Sep 10
Vivid dreams
Frightful nightmares
Tell me, which is more dangerous?
776 · Sep 22
Mad
Arpitha Sep 22
Mad
So deep into art and poetry
some might say I am mad
But if not for the duo,
I would be mad.
754 · Sep 16
Comfort
Arpitha Sep 16
The comfort of sadness
falls short
only to the comfort found
in a mother's lap.
648 · Aug 11
I am fine
Arpitha Aug 11
Why do people bother to ask
How are you
When all they want to hear is
I am fine
637 · Sep 25
Unfulfilled
Arpitha Sep 25
Life has only been
a trail of
unfulfilled dreams.

Somewhere along the way,
I lost the courage
to dream again.
632 · Aug 17
Crash
Arpitha Aug 17
What do you do
When the pain in your head
becomes too much?
Threatens to explode
and harm everyone around
Can’t contain it anymore
Losing grip
Going out of control
One misstep and
It will come crashing down.
606 · Sep 24
What if
Arpitha Sep 24
What if I lie down
and refuse to get up?
Ever?
It's all I want to do,
It's all I can do.
Take rest -
forever.
589 · Sep 20
Loiter
Arpitha Sep 20
I loiter
between
what was
and
what will be.
Overlooking
what is.
588 · Sep 24
End
Arpitha Sep 24
End
Struggling to breathe,
like a fish out of water.
This is the end.
587 · Sep 22
Purpose
Arpitha Sep 22
Is it necessary to
have a purpose in life?
To achieve it after a struggle?
If so, then mine is to stay alive.
578 · Sep 17
Gravity
Arpitha Sep 17
Gravity
pulling me down
Physically
Mentally
Taking my all
to just stand upright.
A domino
set up to crash.
565 · Sep 25
Someday, I will
Arpitha Sep 25
I will learn
to speak aloud
what's on my mind.

I will dance
the way I move
inside my head.

I will say no
to what weighs me down,
yes to what sets me free.

I will stand up
for myself
when required.

I will love
the person I am,
without condition.

I will heal
the hidden wounds
buried deep within.
565 · Sep 11
Good days
Arpitha Sep 11
Good days are like the
brief, bright moments
of warm sunshine
between heavy downpours.

Just a momentary respite
from the gloomy clouds.

The dark will be back -  
forever waiting its turn,
to haunt and torment.
530 · Sep 24
Destroy
Arpitha Sep 24
I want to scream my head off,
crush my heart out,
destroy this anxiety—
the way it’s destroying me.
524 · Jun 20
Black and white
Arpitha Jun 20
White canvas
Black lines
No space for color

White is too bright
Black is not dark enough
Oscillate between the two
Less towards the light
And more towards the dark.
475 · Aug 3
Dear brother
Arpitha Aug 3
I miss those days
when you loved me
Unconditionally
When you stood
against the world
made sure I was safe
Loved and protected

Now you’re busy
No longer have time for me
So foolish of me
to think that
Love carves a path
through schedules
Just because mine did
I hate that my brother and I have drifted apart as we’ve grown older.
467 · Sep 20
Crutch
Arpitha Sep 20
Handicapped by my brain
art and poetry are my crutches.
How long will they last?
Are they helping me stand?
or just digging a hole
for me to sink deeper?
464 · Sep 10
Walk or sleep
Arpitha Sep 10
I told my friend
I am taking pills for my insomnia
She advised me to go for a walk
Since when did walk become a substitute for sleep?
Satire.
Though it infuriates me when people give such suggestions without knowing the actual situation.
462 · Jul 27
Nightmares
Arpitha Jul 27
It’s the middle of the night
I wake up from fear, yet again
The monsters now live in my head
No longer hiding under the bed
446 · Sep 16
Priority
Arpitha Sep 16
For the first time
prioritizing myself
Feels unnatural,
But oh so satisfying!
428 · Sep 20
Content Creator
Arpitha Sep 20
Likes, loves and reposts make me happy
but trending makes my day,
Eagerly wait to receive a sun -
Maybe I am just another content creator!
415 · Aug 3
Feel
Arpitha Aug 3
Some days it’s a blessing
Some days it’s  a curse
To be able to feel so deeply
To not know where I end
And someone else begins
414 · Jul 30
Tired
Arpitha Jul 30
Foggy and drowsy
I live like a zombie
How do I choose
between the devil and the deep sea?
To be burnt out due to no sleep
or to be weary from too much??
Taking medication for insomnia and I am not really sure which is better, taking or not taking.
403 · Sep 8
Mental illness
Arpitha Sep 8
If every other pain can be
seen, felt, measured and accepted
by everyone,
why can’t this be?
401 · Aug 28
Outcast
Arpitha Aug 28
It shouldn’t be me
who feels like an outcast
It should be you
for having dreams
in this hopeless world.
396 · Sep 8
Imposter
Arpitha Sep 8
One good day
has me wondering -
Am I really depressed
or am I just faking it?

If I myself am not convinced
How will others ever be?
387 · Aug 16
Scar
Arpitha Aug 16
Hold it against the skin
Let it burn
Scar the outside
to match the inside
366 · Jul 27
Buried
Arpitha Jul 27
Thoughts keep running in my head
Never getting tired
Obsessive and  despairing
Scarring and impairing
Just when I think I can’t go any lower
I get buried one more foot under
360 · Aug 16
Lending ear
Arpitha Aug 16
So desperate for a lending ear
That I’m willing to
cut off mine
and listen to myself vent!
322 · Jul 6
Life of an artist
Arpitha Jul 6
Nature, art and poetry
My only three needs
Bringing colours to life
Meaning to words
To be understood
only after long gone
307 · Jul 2
Silence
Arpitha Jul 2
If you think noise is loud
You haven’t been around silence enough
301 · Aug 23
Friday night
Arpitha Aug 23
Everyone is busy
making plans for a party
Here I am
convincing myself to go to therapy.
292 · Aug 15
Superficial
Arpitha Aug 15
Customary greetings
Mechanical responses
No affection
No obligation
When did human interactions
become this superficial?
291 · Sep 4
Spectator
Arpitha Sep 4
It’s so much easier
to pretend
you’re a spectator
in this game called life.
288 · Aug 31
Mania
Arpitha Aug 31
Today was a good day,
not by your standards, nay.
I did not lay on my bed
waiting for its end.
I cooked and cleaned
Laughed and danced
Almost like I was high
and glad to be alive.

It’s night now,
the euphoria is wearing off
I’m coming back to reality.

It’s gone now,
the bundle of energy
Gone on to possess someone else
Fool them into thinking all’s well.

Maybe it wasn’t really happiness
And all it ever was
was mania.
285 · Jul 7
Art
Arpitha Jul 7
Art
Medley of patterns
Flow onto the paper
Sorting through the mess
That is my head

Colors dance on the sheet
Never skipping a beat
Both Performing for me
And speaking for me

Feelings reborn in hues
Color and colourless
Let them flow
Together let’s grow
I love drawing mandalas
281 · Aug 12
Mind games
Arpitha Aug 12
My brain, it plays games
Makes me hate everyone
Most of all myself
Tells me people are out to hurt you
So why don’t you just hurt yourself
Has me feel it won’t get better
just don't bother trying

gets me to believe I’m always in danger
but from who?
Others or you?

If I don't feel
safe with myself
How will I ever feel safe
with anyone else?
Wish i could just shut my brain!
280 · Aug 28
War
Arpitha Aug 28
War
Fighting enemies requires courage
Fighting friends requires bravery
But having to fight yourself?
That’s the combat no one talks about.

Having to fight your own mind against
the most basic thing the body is designed for -
the kind of battle which wins no medals.
Only people on the sidelines mocking the “weak” ones.

No state of the art weapons in this war -
Arms which ambush the attacker itself,
Armour which require trial and error.
A lone crusader fighting all the mutations.

A battle unseen
Even by closest of the tribe
Days, months, years
A struggle I can’t describe.
279 · Sep 22
Gaslight
Arpitha Sep 22
My brain gaslighted my body —
now every heartbeat is an alarm.
277 · Jun 25
Insomnia
Arpitha Jun 25
I wonder what it’s like
To have a peaceful night’s sleep
To not be scared of the silence
To not be terrified of the clock ticking
My eyes burn with no respite
As I write poems at night
Maybe if I empty my mind
I will finally be able to unwind
My demons laugh at me
They will not let me be
I’m losing my will to continue living
As I lie on my bed writhing.
263 · Sep 11
Where the heart lies
Arpitha Sep 11
What makes a person go on
when he doesn't want to
is the answer to
where his heart lies.
248 · Aug 12
Tired
Arpitha Aug 12
I’m tired to the bone
Exhausted
Fatigued
Weary
Even the small tasks
feel like a burden
No!!
I don’t want to get up
Don’t want to pretend
that I am okay
All I want is
a dreamless sleep;
to wake up
as a new person
who no longer feels like this.
214 · Sep 24
Turmoil
Arpitha Sep 24
Turmoil
inside me
threatens
to tear
me apart.

I am
giving in.
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