This is still broken
I have been living with this for years and time has not even healed it
Time cut into it deeper
Making what I've craved more mouth watering and beautiful
Draining the life out of me, but circumstances forcing me to keep going
Drawing the energy out of my blood stream, adrenalin keeping me up, making me seem strong and unbreakable
I've broken through and through
I've just been holding on because of you
But now I don't need to hold on anymore
I'll just take this gun out
And bleed red all over the floor

The present is what keeps me here
The past doesn't have me anymore
And the future doesn't have me yet
Stop moping, moping over past regret
Just don't make those mistakes again
History is history for two reasons
To learn from it
And keep undisturbed seasons

Time can never mend
What was once worthless
What is still worthless
I know they say "one mans trash is another mans treasure"
Not always true
Most men want the same thing
They just want treasure, not the trash
None of them want what's broken
That's why I'm worthless
Not a treasure, yet not trash either
I guess I'm both, yet, neither at the same time
Sometimes I'm this or sometimes I'm that
Dull or shiny, hot or cold, empty or full of thoughts of everything
I'm not a treasure
I'm not a trash
I guess I'm the chest that contains either the trash or treasure
Time will tell
Time will tell but not mend
And someone will have the key
To the treasure or the trash I carry
And they will tell me whether I'm golden or a throw in
But until then
I'm locked
The small chest in my heart locked
I had the key, but someone else has it
And I've never met 'em nor seen them
I had the key when I was a baby, but my guardian angel gave mine away to my true love and she gave me my true love's key
I've kept it in my heart ever since
And he or she has mine
weather they know it or not
And hopefully I won't be afraid anymore
And hopefully they won't either

You tried your hardest, you really did
Too bad it was still soft as a flaccid ****

Blond hair and blue eyes
Smiling beautifully, and wonder, I
Love you like no other
Like another brother of mine
In heart
In soul
Both of ours seemed to crack
Causing an almost incurable pain
One of us got better
The other not
And we'll meet one day
And hug it out
We will both be happy I dream
We will both have the families that we've always dreamed
You'll marry a husband
And I'll be happy with the friends that became my new family
We'll both be happy living this life of love

Don't knock it till you've walked it!

Tired of this world around me
Rid the pain that's in me
Irritated with everything around me
Enddings never end
Dying inside slowly

*I TRIED

It's hard for people to be true to themselves
*And even harder for them to be true to others.

I hate you truly. Truly I do.
Everything about me hates everything about you
There's nothing you can do
You made that willing mistake a long time ago
I was with you till you betrayed me
You betrayed my trust in you
Now there's a never fading scar on my body because of you
All my hate, anger, and rage inside is just for you
Oh, but I won't do anything to you
I'll just wait till the moments due
When Karma will reign in on you
And hopefully, I'll be there to see her work destroy you

This **** is gonna blow up the fan

Trust
"Trust in me" they say
"I would never hurt you" they say
Truth is
You can never trust them
Trust no one
Not even yourself
They say "sometimes you hurt yourself more than others do"
I think they're right
Cause you always risk yourself when you trust someone
So you hurt yourself just as much as they hurt you
So trust no one
Not even yourself
Cause you're part of the reason that you got hurt
*they are the reason too

How can I trust someone who takes all my money and barely gets the things I really need
How can I trust someone who constantly lies to my face
How can I trust someone who puts themselves before their kid
How can I trust someone like you?

If it's true you ever loved me,
If it's true you ever cared,
Swear on my life you did.
I quadruple dare you to.

If love can later turn into hate
Then the truth can later turn into lies.
*"There's a thin line between love and hate,
And a thin line between the truth and the lies."

Ladies and gentleman skinny and scout
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about
The admission is free so pay at the door
Now pull out a chair and sit on the floor

On one bright day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other

The blind man came to see fair play
The mute man came to shout hooray
The deaf policeman heard the noise
And came to stop those two dead boys

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block
In a two story house on a vacant lot
A man with no legs came walking by
And kicked the lawman in his thigh

He crashed through a wall without making a sound
Into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned
A long black hearse came to cart him away
But he ran for his life and is still gone today

I watched from the corner of the table
The only eyewitness to facts of my fable
If you doubt my lies are true
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too

Two cracking cackling clinging broom witches creaked into the closed cavern.
Combinding concoctions to create a cocktail of concretional chaos in their bodies. Coming time to close those crusty eye sockets, deathening sleep creaps on them.

I'm a hypocrite,
But not as bad as one as you
You brought yourself as low as the people you talk about
Does the taste of their lowlyness taste good to you?
Let me rephrase,
Does the taste of their lowlyness feel good in your heart?
I didn't think so
But you say it like you do
Who are you?
You are whom?
**The people you talk about, *boo

The uneven-ness of my femur bones
Hurts further than bone deep.

I don't know, maybe you were fooled
I'm a new student, I don't follow the rules
Forgiveness is a tool
And I don't mean to be so cruel
But I ain't in control of my heart
The place you were is now a hollow part
Leaving nothing but to let in the ****
My heart bought it all at the breakup mini mart
I used to wish it was smart
But it's been hit by poisoned darts
Ain't no forgiveness in this heart
It makes no exceptions,
My forgiveness is forsaken
You're gonna need a girl with low expectations
Your greatest weakness is the temptations
My greatest weakness is my mental mutilations
Neither are in relation
I was pointed out by my mind's creation
Who I am when we're together is who I shouldn't be

Uncontional love doesn't mean unconditional relationship

Every time I look at you
I die inside because of you
You did me wrong
The time is due
That I clean the gutters out with you
Clear my mind
Cleanse my soul
I'll throw you out like I should've years ago
Every time I looked at you
I died inside because of you

I'm so glad you don't have alcohol kissed lips

Come meet me on my battlefield of choosing
Don't be disappointed with what you got
Oh, it's hot
The anger and frustration
The bottles have just opened
Pandora's potions, they make me uncontrollable and insane
Where do you think I got this game?

I learned to be a bigger ******* from you.

I think this is destined for forever, but
I'll always hate and love her till my very last breath.

I hope you ******* die soon
I won't even show up to the funeral
To spit on your grave
It's not near a shame
Because of your name

I find happiness in need
I find want in greed
On your last limb, you leaned
Sorry for the mistakes you didn't mean
This blood never washes away clean
Cause each month there comes more, with a force so keen
It's volcanic,
I can only stare and panic
People running like they're manic
Scene's in front of me, galvanic
It'll be bigger than the sinking of the Titanic
It's too much to brace, too gigantic
Think about matters that don't matter
*Earth is on a fiery platter

Scars fade
Pain *doesn't.

Sell your soul if you want to
Know that it's gonna haunt you
I'm not gon try to spot you
I'm not gon try to fight you
I'mma let you go through
The biggest mistake you ever knew

You hate yourself
You let it woe.

The sky is blue
But the concrete is black

The sky is blue
But the concrete is black
I'm conditioned to look down
And think of all that I lack
The sky is purple
The sidewalk is grey
Everyday,
Everyday I'm okay
The stars are bright
They have fuel to shine in darkness
Can't I just experience a time of rightness

Use me
Use me
Use me
Life ain't nothing but abusing
But I'm seeing all my musings
I've regretted all my choosings
But I'mma learn from all my losings
And get better at what I'm choosing

All I hope
Is that someone will get me
That someone will truly care about what I do and say
And I hope I will understand them
Truly love and care about them
Care about what they do and say
That they will accept me for me
And I'll accept them too
All I really want is one person to stay with me my whole life
If I could just have that
Maybe I wouldn't be so broken
Maybe I could even be fixed
Maybe I wouldn't be so afraid of love
Or so afraid of myself
And maybe I wouldn't be afraid of my future or my past
I've already had people give up on me
And I know why they did
One of them told me why
And I see why too
I was never comfortable in my own skin and my own mind
And I made them uncomfortable to the point where it was too much
I was suffocating myself and I was doing it to them too
So when they left
I was more alone and I was realizing more and more
Everything is what's wrong with me
Everything
I never had any validation so I got worse
I did too many of the wrong things without knowing
And I feel like I won't be accepted anywhere
I'm trying to fix myself, but I have no idea how to
How do I fix myself when everything's wrong?
How do I fix myself when every piece is either bent out of shape or broken?

Pinpoint buds of flesh, rubbing
Our moans syncing, harmonize
Gripping each other in ecasty
Bucking hips and soaking wet bedsheets.

Empty
Dark
Full of regrets
Full of imperfections and mistakes
Shame
Shame at being who I am
Full but empty
Empty yet dark
Void of all my emotions
The black hole that ***** them in then spits them out at the most inconvenient time
Void empty unforgiving black hole
I'm enchanted by you
I hate you, but can't ever forget you
You're my drug and I'm hooked on you
Addicted to you
You've never gone away no matter how hard I've tried
I'm not sure if I want you to
Cause happiness seems so fake like plastic or people
Happiness feels great, but it feels so fake compared to you
You're real
I know you
You make hating myself feel good, you make it feel right
But it's not right and I know it
But I love the way you do it
How you make self hate and loneliness feel so addicting, so good
How you make the constant mental pain and heart ache  feel blissful
How you keep me wanting more
And how when I get a lick of happiness you make you miss you more
You keep me wanting, waiting, and begging for more
And I want it to end
And I can't make it
Your hold on me is tighter than welded iron and there's no heat to unconnect it
Only cold
There's a lock on my heart and you've put it there...
so that I would never let go or stop being an addict
But it's not like I don't have the skeleton key
to unlock
          *and let be...

Wake me up before I die
Slap my face before I lie
When will you ever see
I could never be what you want me to be
Look through your own eyes
Seek through your dead lies
Say your last goodbyes
When you wake me before I die
And for the very last time tell me that you love me as I sigh my last breath of life

I never wanted an apology,
I just want my life back.
I just want my breath back.
What can I get back with a sorry?
*Nothing, and that's what I want you to mean

Now that I'm left unwanted again
I'm left wondering out of boredom
If a person really needs to be wanted

No one person is completely one way
Just like life isn't one way.

We never know how fast we're dying
We never know how hard we're crying
You never know how when I lie awake
I think of things that make me quake
We never know how tired father time is
We never know when mother nature's time ends
We never know anything
We never know who someone truly is

What can I say when I've only set these words to ink for you?
What can I sing when I only use this voice for you?
Why do you play my body like music using my heart for strings?
Why do you dry my ink by blowing on it gently?
What can I do to prove I'm yours?
What can you do to prove you're mine?
Kiss me
Kiss me in front of everyone and I'll share every bit of my soul that I can to you while you share yours with me
What can I play to show you how I feel?
What can I say to describe how I feel for you?
I do and don't know what to say or do
*Not when I'm around you

My confusion troubles me
My wondering depresses me
And my knowledge grows heavily
And the icing on that cake is everything I hate about me

I am a rose
I grew from the toxic waste of society's wasteland
There are many of us,
Most of us are side effects of blue
Some of us are beautiful, and our petals easily bruise
No one ever sees us, we're translucent
We give the illusion of lightness around others so that there isn't more pain
I am a rose, withmutilated petals to attract someone to dig me up from this Wasteland
And nurture me in their home
Some have picked my petals to distract themselves
Shredding them and throwing them away,
Focusing their attention on me for only what they momentarily need
For every petal that's been plucked I have grieved over,
They are the parts of me that has long been gone
They were never buried, they decayed and withered into the ground
I've never dreamed
Never have I rested this **** soul
What's the point in opening myself if I have nothing to bloom for when the sun rises
Maybe someone who doesn't know what I am will pluck me by accident

That's all I'm good for anyway

You should know that she's ruining you
I think she has already
You think I'm the one who's ruined
I am but at least I haven't changed
You've changed, you've changed a lot since you've met her
She left you and hurt you more than once
you still love her
She's cheated on you more than once
and you still love her
And you forgave her and took her back every time
I was your friend
I tried to help you
But you pushed me away
by ******* me off and using my weaknesses to hurt me
This is what has happened to you
you turned into a *****
And you said you saw why I tried to **** myself, but did you see why your girlfriend did too?