I remember as a child being overly excited for my birthday
every year I wouldn't be able to sleep just counting down the hours
When I did eventually fall asleep
I was quick to rise the next day
My mom who worked over nights
Would call me in the morning to send me blessings and good fortune
She was always the first person to say "happy birthday"
I've always loved my birthday
Because it was the one day I truly felt special
Felt wanted...
Now it's my birthday and I can't sleep
But not from excitement
But from reoccurring insomnia
My mom called at 12:02am
But she wasn't the first this year
a boy named "A"
Sent me a picture of his *****
And said it was my "gift"
(Isn't that sweet)
The Moment she said "happy birthday" I bust into tears
I'm glad she didn't hear me cause
I wouldn't know how to explain to her
How broken I feel
How I've thought of
death a million times
in the last hour..
This year I don't feel so special
I don't feel wanted
I feel drained
Fed up
tired
When the sun rises
I plan on buying enough drugs to numb my pain
Listen to the same song on reply
And hope that the day fades quickly
Happy Birthday to me.

B.oF

Its those moments


                          when we try our hardest


                                               not to fall  

that we begin to


                          C R U M B L E



B.oF

I'll turn my back on this place
'cause it reminds me of
nothing but my mistakes
of moments that I wish
could fade
of the stupid decisions that
were sadly made.

B.oF

You have a freckle above your lips,
that I've been dying to kiss .

I live for the moments when you say my name,
your voice is a melody  that I replay.

On the days we cannot meet,
I have visions of you in my sleep.

You can say I'm a little obsessed,
for this I must confess
your love is simply the best.

B.oF

"The soul takes us to a place where the body cannot exist"



''Even after my soul
leaves this place, and my
body has become one with the earth;
I shall carry our love with me
always''

B.oF

Forgiveness is found in her arms
redemption is her love
she's so pure and clean
still don't know what she
sees in me
but because of her
my soul can be
R E D E M E D

B.oF

Broke my heart
To see you
slaughtered
Like animals

Not all were saints
Mistakes in life were made
JUSTICE
Had not been served
Silence before your pleads
Could be heard
Your death
Will not go unheard

I think if your heart stopped beating,
mine wold too.
Our souls are so linked together,
I feel you when you enter the room.
Everyone ceases to exist
all my eyes see is you.

If death came knocking
I would follow you,
for a world where you longer exist
is a world I will no longer wish
to belong too.

This is my confession
my heart is bond to you.

B.oF

"Beauty is only skin deep"
He said
So I picked up the blade
and said
"How deep do I have to cut
until I start feeling beautiful"

B.oF

Hazel eyes
Dimpled cheeks
Fuzzy blanket,over cold feet
wiggle closer

B  O  D  Y   H  E  A T

Sharing breaths
Our lips meet
Playful fingers
Dance on skin

Making love as the rain begins

B.oF

“افتح فمك فقط إن كان ما ستقوله أجمل من الصمت
Open your mouth only if what you are going to say is more beautiful than silence.”

You never made any promises
Never said you'd stay
So why does it hurt
So much to see you
Walk away.

Every kiss,every touch
All the secrets that we shared.

Was it all just a game for you?
pretending that you cared.

B.oF

My tears blur the page
I can't see straight
My emotions are leaning towards
Sadness and hate

Maybe a broken heart was just my fate.

B.oF

Kiss me in the rain
Love me with the moon
When I look at the stars
All I see you

Touch me like the sun
surround me in your heat
I want to keep you in my heart
So you may never leave.

B.oF

You told me you had slept with another
Thoughts of you together played in my head
Sleep would not come to save me
from the torment
Images of unknown lips touching yours
Hands roaming the body
I have spent countless days and nights dreaming about

What made her so special ..
What made you give to her something I’ve worked so hard for

The love I freely gave
gone to waste
Your attention is all I’ve ever longed for
The kisses placed on my cheek
With lips which are now tainted
burn me hotter than any flame
I wish to wipe her from your mind
Erase her finger prints from your skin

Why her
Why not me..

Do we love pain?
Do we invite sadness into our lives because happiness can become so mundane.
Is the  existence of struggle embedded into our DNA just so we can feed our narcissistic urge to feel validated for our accomplishments as meaningless as they are because in the end we all die..

I want you to love me
Like you did before
Before the distance grew
Between us two...

I wish you said my name like hers
Then the pain in my chest
Wouldn't be so sore

I wish I could avoid the truth
I grew to love the

M E M O R I E S

More than I did you.

B.oF

Like a man lost in the desert
You are my oasis..my maroge
A secret I’ve kept for so long
I’ve become as desperate as a man dying of thirst
  
Having you so close
feeling your skin under my finger tips  knowing that you’ll never be mine...
Knowing that everything I’ve  ever wanted in life is standing right in front me  just within my grasp but yet a million miles away feels like the slowest heartbreak.