'Coz it's hard to see
The one who made these heartbeats
Having his own
Made by another

Inside your own system
Pain, painful that pain
Makes you bow to the ground
And cry tears in vain

The first above else
Sweetest among sweet
Extreme above realest
Was just the least to think

I thought I'd stand a chance
A shot to make a change
Of what was left behind
Before these pages came

I could've rewrote
My stupidiest mistakes
And make new moments
Saving thy heart from these aches

But it's just so amazing
How our story was told
Words written in ink
Won't undo even a hundred fold

We've been in fragments
Shattered and torn
And kept crawling back
To where we're from

That has been so long
Didn't know you were gone
To fit with another piece
And our pattern was ceased

Even if it's so hard
I won't ever ask
Just for my sweetest first
To have what he deserves

What we did has been done
What's been there has been left
These pages will continue
And so I must too

I'll wait for the day
For another piece to come
To fill these empty sheets
And make this story book complete

*For that someone dated back in the year 2010

I'm afraid I can no longer write*
So please, just break my heart
There's nothing more that I can give
Leave me be until I die
And in my words is where I'll live
But you'll be forever in my lines
We'll part ways but in both good terms
I'll hold my pen, you'll hold her hand
I don't want to end up hurting you
So do it now before I do

The dead man's heart
Isn't beating anymore
And so does mine
Though I'm still awake
And so cold
I'm longing for a coffin
Longing for the dusk
In my home of tranquil
Dug me up from underneath
Come pull me down
Show my face from a glass
I want to get back
From where I was
Burry me alive
Burry me inside
**** my all at once
Leave this wish underground

It's 2 am
I'll take my medicine
It's not prescribed
Just my self medication
I don't know its dosage
I just take it all
A little too much
Can never be enough
Until you know
You're already drowned
The alcohol's in my veins
And I breathe smoke
You know I'm sick
It's 2 am, you see?
And I'll take you in

I woke up bathing in the moon light. It was of warmth and tender touch. Though I know that I have to get through of it. So I did everything I have to as I took it for granted. As I went outside to take on my path, my yesterdays kept huanting and pulling me back. I fought and I fought until I thought it was alright. But I'm not alright. I let myself be taken and be brought to another realm where reality's obscure and so desperate to show there's life when there's none. The sun's about to come and the sky's turning teal. I am again on the same road I walked a thousand times before. And I'd walk a million times more. It's not only becoming a habbit, it's becoming more of regularity in my system. I want my yesterday to capture me this time.

It felt so good
I disregarded the taste
It was worth the try
To have it as my first
The disgust was gone
The pleasure took part
Be with me and I'll bear it
To have it forever
Locking with mine

And now suddenly
We are estranged
Because of our acts
Of how we said 'I love you'
Of how our eyes gazed
To each other's
On how we bid farewell
To our very last toast
And the night
Feasted with the warmth
Swallowing us in
But we broke out instead

And I know stories
Of midnight love
That used to fall
From dusk 'till dawn
But let the sun
Come up and burn
We bear the love
Worth burning for
But how I wish
We fought for it
We should've lived
Love worth living for

I used to be your sun
The only star in your day
That burns in the sky
But now I'm your moon
Who watches you over
Quiet in the shadows
Not a star anymore
Just someone you pass by
Because now I'm only
A single part of the night
That fades along with the dark
And no longer the reason
For you to wake up

You never let these tears
To flow fearlessly from me
And made me believe
That rain is for the weakest
That the sunshine up above
Is what should be inside
And so I never got the chance
To know what rainbow is

It was always the "good night"
That makes you leave
Impatient for the sun
To come and for you to see
How it steals your darkness
From those eyes of yours
But you always keep it closed
And walk the road alone

She does it with the water
She does it with her pain
She does it as her run
It's her best medicine

She's too weak
Her heart's very weak
Belittled and stomped
She's getting more bleak

Her only sunshine
Is the darkness
In the pits of the corners
Is where she sits with coldness

Her only nightmare
Is the light of the world
The more she's seen
The more she's haunted

She wishes her sunset
To come all at once
And leave this day
Leaving her not even an ounce

Though the medication
Is meant for a lifetime
Her dosages just won't stop
She's delirious and existing

Oh dear, Raisey
You missed the train
Because of those lashes
And colors in your face

Oh dear, Raisey
You missed the cab
Because of those heels
That can't carry your height

Oh dear, Raisey
You missed the lights
The man-made daytime
Because you didn't look up

Oh dear, Raisey
You missed the right guy
It was all a constructed show
But now, the curtains will fall

Oh dear, Raisey
You missed your lifetime
You had it all coming
But also having it slipped

My all's beneath all
I have seen of this collision
In the wind I lay
With the air sinking in
Freezes me to my core
I have thought of thee
You're the one I owe of these
The one I always wanted to be
But I'll go first
To the sky but fall
Teardrops kept flying
Leaving my weary eyes
And all of those
Keep on flashing at once
Until I meet the melting sand
Burrowing me with my blood,
My thoughts, and my hands

I walked in the rain
On a summer day
Wond'ring if that face
Would show up again
I took each step
With the fog in my eyes
I want to get lost
But can't help standing by
I watched my past
As if I'm watching you coming near
And all that's coming
Are all of my fears
Rain of my thoughts
Kept coming on point
Maybe you would
But maybe you won't

Balled and rolled
But never been told
What was once tied
Will set loose and die

It was what she had
It was what she needed
It was what she did
To bleed for a living
It wasn't what she thought
That she would go through
It's where she's used to
Die to live today
It wasn't her fault
It was the fault in her heart
The cracks on her cheeks
Brought upon by loving you bad
She's dry and wringed
Wrinkled and broken
Though what she ever did
Was to pick up each of her piece

Tiny grains of love
I always pick them up
Left-overs of their past
For me they're a must

Tiny grains of love
You're what I'll ever have
You're my golden dust
Something mine that'll last

Tiny grains of love
You're what I must have
Yet a precious sand
That kept slipping through my hands

Tiny grains of love
When will my glass be filled
When will I ever be drunk
When will I ever get to taste

A cup full of love

The clouds are thin
Like a piece of silk
They keep rolling in
In a blue glass as milk
Warm and tender
Of white, yellow, and fire
With the air, they linger
As if they don't get tired
They're our fleecy goodbye
From the light in our eyes
Weightless of all
Though leaves a sullen fall
But truest promise
Lives as it leaves
We're tomorrow's fate
On horizon's brightest gate

I'd rather be alone
Right now
Than being alone
Sooner than now

If I'll be on my self, I'll be on my self. I can't afford to ride another roller coaster with tons of passengers who'll jump off at the peak of the ride.

Make them vanish
Make them go
**** them with your
Shining silver sword
Don't you dare drown them
They will swim
Or they'll hunt you
From underneath
Just like the candles
Their fire'll be blown
Let them be smoke
Let them be gone
They're your
Insomia at 3am
Your nightmare
From dusk 'till dawn
Oh my dear Reilegh
Go down and slay your demons

Feed me with your thoughts
Paint me with your words
Count me with your letters
Define me with your lines
Speak to me in numbers
I'll answer you with a gaze
Make me more beautiful
Yet, **** me with your pen

Find the girl
Find her world
From the tower
Of crawling bricks
From it's walls
Make her fall
Make me as her all
Make me break
Her even more
She'll bear this curse
She'll bleed the worst
Day after another
Feed her more
Make her live
Forevermore
She'll suffer this
Until darkness occurs
From this day on
This spell be sealed
Make this true
After her sleep

"It is the last"
It's all I can say
Like the 31st of January
We'll be on our ways
The bright city lights
Fireworks' flames in the sky
Will turn to ashes in the air
And be gone as what we did
Somehow, you're a part of me
Oh, my very dear January
But you only gave me days
You're not my tomorrow to spend
So tonight I'll linger
The cold breeze outside my door
I'll wait more stars to shine
In some more days
My January's coming home

The wind moved past my face
I am on a bench on my favorite place
In my shirt and PJs and barefooted
My breath flew and the river's frosted
I was caught by a girl with her teddy
To ask me a question sounding so silly
"Aren't you feeling cold miss?"
I looked at her innocent eyes
And I said "No I'm not..."
"It's my heart that's cold"
She was so curious and unsatified
As a young one she asked me "Why?"
She won't understand but I'll tell somehow
"It's the weather so keep yourself warm..."

We always run
On the chain of desire
As the last person
At the end of the line
It's easy to give up
Make your run stop
No one will notice
Everyone's ahead
But we somehow stay
Though it's the hardest
To stay behind
And keep what we have
But we somehow hope
That what we're running
Is worth aiming for

I am not
Strong enough
To bear the pain
That's brought upon
By loving you
Though I am
Strong enough
Knowing you are
With someone
Better

Your hand on my hand
Got those eyes locked on mine
Just out skin against the warmth
Of how we held each other tight

I let the joy to sink in
Closed my eyes and breathed deep
Opened 'em again and realized
It was just my dream last night

I wrote "You"
But not your name
It could be you
Or someone the same
I can't tell
It's less specific
I bleed out some words
And I ended up with "You"
I don't know how
But it's somehow true
Whatever I bleed out
In black or blue
I always find myself tangled
In the person I call "You"

As she lies awake
Against her soft sheets
Her eyes were withdrawing
The stars of her heartache
Each one carries
What her heart wants to leave
Warm as they fell
But ceases to be
One after another
Crashing against her pillow
Filling a pool of sorrow
And dries up in the gloomy wind
Her eyes kept burning
In her thoughts, she's drowned
Realizing the stars were up
Showing how we're living
In the depths of the dark

I am so imperfect
That I destruct myself
In loving you this much
While you destruct yourself
In loving her so bad

Falling for you is like
Falling to the bathroom floor
Foolish and clumsy I was
Slippery and painful it was
But I learned my lesson
And won't fall for you again

This empty bed of mine
Longs for you tonight
Would you stay here for a while
Only for the meantime
Just give it a couple of minutes
Try it just for a second
And if you do, at least
You have thought of it
And it'll be warm again
Like how it used to be
Like how it was
Being slept on with you
When I used to be alive

The cheer never made me
Feel so alive
The sun never made me
Feel so bright
The laughters never made me
Feel the fun
The heat never made me
Feel the warmth
All I am is what you were
When I was into you

The night's too cold
The fog just clogged
The moon's up high
I forgot it's December

The wind took me
To my bed sheets
I curled, it's cold
I forgot it's December

I can't think of
Words to defy
Why I just keep
Forgetting it's December

I can't find it
Searched everywhere
The place that brings
Cold nights when it's December

I saw your face
Two teardrops raced
So warm but cold
I forgot it's December

Just now I found
You are the word
The reason why
I forgot it's December

I saw the place
Of cold embrace
It was my heart
In the night of December

I remember
Sweet and bitter
Yes, it didn't last
I lost you last December

Falling for you is like
Falling asleep at 2am
It's all that I wanted
But my thoughts intervened
Of how it will happen
And how it will crumble
So then I'll end up
Falling for some
When 2am passed

We had three warm nights
On three summer time
There were three short words
And they're your three long swords
Stabbed me three-inch deep
Inbetween my three rib bone
Got me three hours dead
From our three years of stay
I'll be just three miles away
From those three wine shop
And buy three sweet wine
To give you three joyous cheers
For the end of three long years

Was it really even good
To breakdown and cry?
To let those tears fall
While you're falling apart
And falling hard for the wrong one?
Maybe it was even really me
Who kept on clinging
Who kept on keeping the ones
Who won't even stay as I thought
When I hoped that they would
But it's a saying
To make those you love to stay
Such a bluff I became blind of
And it's just an act
It has never been enough
And at the end of the day
You'll crawl back to yourself
Realizing you missed yourself so much
Even though you haven't known
Yourself that much
Became obsessed more
With the bitterness in the dark
Forgetting all the lessons
Forgetting the love
Love that should've grown
Inside of yourself
But got it killed beforehand

Have you ever
Drown yourself to sleep
With your tears?
It's just your crying
That became your lullaby
A painful spell casted by you
And you know that you're
Only cursing yourself more
And when the sun fin'ly came
The morning breeze will come
Stinging your eyes
From all those salty tears
You had to withdraw
From all your pain
You wanted to escape from

I'm afraid of losing you
So I'd rather lose my breath
I'd die if you knew
So I'd rather tell it to myself
I can't be enough
So I'd rather love you this much
I'll never be so brave
So I'd rather have your back instead
I can never make you stay
So I'd rather keep you in my heart

The fireworks burned the sky
Your memory burned my heart
My tears fell like the ashes
Leaving traces in the air
But the wind had it dried
Saying tears were my love
You let them fall and be gone
I can't catch 'em 'cause they're meant
To fall and get dried like of my love
Must be withdrawn to start again
To light up new flames
And drown the city lights

You kept your word
And held your tongue
Manifesting a keeper
But can't hold the time
Words were frightened
Heart's a coward
Took all for granted
And you thought I'd wait
You thought I knew
With all those jokes
And bottles of wine
And said "I love you"
Few moments after
Your teardrops splattered
On my cold, hard tomb

Why are we afraid
Of falling in love?
Maybe it's because
We're less assured
Maybe it's just
We're too old
Or just too young
And sometimes
It's the truth that
No one will catch you
When you both fell
Together from a feeling
And he got caught
By someone down below
Who effortlessly waited
His feelings for you
Dispersed in the air
Just like a thin vapor
You can no longer feel it
And all that's left
Is the reason
Why you fell