I went on a date today,
Another painstakingly empty promise of a better tomorrow.

I went on a date today,
And tried my best not to be filled with sorrow.

I felt bad for my date today,
His sincere compliments echoed in the emptiness of my heart.

What a gem, he was, my date today,
Offering everything I looked for in you, without being asked.

I watched as my date today,
Searched my eyes for a sign of warmth and affection

But to his disappointment, my date today
Only saw 2 pools of black that concealed the pain of her heart's deception.

As I stared blankly at my date today,
I briefly wondered why it couldn't be him

Because at the end of the date today,
I know I'll tell him I don't want any strings

I still went on that date today,
Shoving my feelings down, learning to hate you and letting my wits rise above.

But at the end of the day,
My hatred for you is just a blurred word for love.

You should come and pull up just kick back, while you relax
Lets engage that, then create
that, what a wild life
just a shy girl with all the right vibes
can’t replace that

Pull up come kick back, while you relax
We can unpack, then create that
I have a sweet tooth, you’re a sweet snack
Babe it can be us,
make good flashbacks

I prepared these phases on my calendar so that I could be able to survive these next months.

Phase A: 10 November

Exam - Audit & Assurance completed
Exam - Audit & Assurance allowed for alternate exam at December
Assignment - Business Analysis delayed till December

Phase B: 28 November

Assignment - Business Analysis delayed till end of Phase B
Assignment - Business Analysis completed
Exam - Business Analysis completed
Exam - Business Analysis allowed for alternate exam at January
Exam - Business Analytics delayed by teacher to January
Exam - Audit & Assurance completed
Exam - Audit & Assurance requested alternate
Personal - Mothers arrival

Phase C: 23 December

Exam - Audit & Assurance alternate rejected
Exam - Business Analytics missed & possible delayed (unsure if accepted for Covid)
Exam - Business Analysis completed
Exam - Business Analytics pending date to be confirmed
Subject - Audit & Assurance passed

Phase D: 12 January (tomorrow, in 10 minutes)

Personal - Couples therapy
Career - Job opportunities expiring soon
Exam - Business Analytics still pending date to be confirmed
Visa - Immigration agent reschedule appointment
Visa - Expiry upon the 30th of January

Note:
* Phase D, makes feel like the time I have left is limited.
* That the visa will not be acquired.
* My job opportunities will pass me.
* My last subject will fail.
* And I will lose everyone.
* These past for years I will have nothing to show.
* And you will leave me.
* Our friends will just become your friends again.

I'm running out of time, and I love you.

What's a perfect date?
It could be:
Fancy dinner,
Pretty partner,
Roses and lilies,
Weak at the knees,
Holding hands,
Sharing an umbrella in the rain,
Catching you from falling down the drain,
Eyes locked,
Kissing in the rain.

Or maybe it’s:
Spilling your coffee,
A comedy,
No filter,
Matching humour,
Eyes locked,
"Call me daddy,"
You called me crazy,
Talking ****, books and movies,
Eyes lit and laughing free,
Then switch to:
Learning something new,
Expanding worldview,
And before we knew,
Time disappears -

Silence,
No words,
Just your breath,
And my heartbeat,
Tears,
And more tears,
Feeling weak yet safe,
Smiling on my own,
I'm home,
In your embrace.

sparkling shattered citrine
bleeding out of a broken promise
wondering why he did me like a piece of garbage
cast away, ran away
wondering why i hold myself hostage
past erased, ran away
bleeding out of a potent promise

I see what you did.

You ignored me for a month
and then just happened to come back
the day before you asked her out
to make sure I still wasn't interested.

I'm not stupid.
I saw right through you,
and I don't appreciate being used.

That may have been well played,
but it wasn't played well enough.

My wounds runs deep
Steeped in time
Memories to keep
Into my prime

Testing my virtues
Taking a deep breath
Walking in my earth shoes
Feeling like ego death

I must stay focused
On what I desire
Despite this fire
Thoughts like a swarm of locusts

Time to embrace the new
That being with you
I refuse to be static
Time with you is chromatic

It's a complete headliner

With you it's all about the major and the minor