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...
haysia Feb 2019
...
"You look at her the way I look at you
And it kills me, a little
."
haysia Dec 2017
The familiar feeling of burning sensation
flows through me
As I gulp down the alcohol
down my throat
With the thought of either forget you
or to remember every single thing about you
To either want to feel the feeling of love again
or being scared **** to feel the pain.
haysia Jun 2016
I let the sun melt me
the moment you inverted
that bewitching eyes of yours

That jiffy makes my heart
pounding and longing
to get out of my rib cage

To have a glimpse
of a specimen
I used to love
and continue to keep up
the *adulation
haysia Jul 2014
Love is all about thinking other's happiness than your own happiness.

"Love is blind"
I don't believe in it either.
Love itself isn't blind.
It's the people in it.

When you're under the influence of love,
you're becoming a *fool

you're becoming an idiot
you're becoming ridiculous
And, worst of all
you're becoming a person you never imagined to be.

Well, that's love, like life, it is full of distinctions.
When you love someone,
That someone love someone else.
And there's another one who loves you,
But you don't love her/him at all.

Why does it have to be like this?
Why does love and pain always stick together?
It's ironic right?
Well, that's another side of love.
haysia Jun 2016
The day I saw you was normal as normal
The day I met you was normal again
But the day I knew you was absolutely an *extraordinary
haysia Mar 2019
"Someday, you'll look up to me
I'll be on the stage with my degree.
"
She promised her mother.

One day, her mother was crying
As she looked at her
But instead of medal,
it was rope, in her neck.
Depression has no face
haysia Aug 10
For the longest time
that I prayed for you,
I am finally done done
And for the last time,
Thank you for hurting me
Thank you for leaving me
Thank you we didn't end up together
Because, finally, I started praying for myself
Finally, I started smiling for myself
Finally, I started believing
that I was more than enough
Finally, I started making progress
In loving myself
More than I have loved you.
haysia Nov 2018
"You don't deserve to be loved."
He said and she believed.
And he left

With the key to her freedom.

Until then, she's close.
haysia Apr 2019
"You're a freak."
"You're weird."
"You're fat."
"You're ugly.
"
Society's standards shout at me
"You're amazing."
"You're beautifully weird."
"You're ****."
"You're awesome.
"
The girl in the mirror said,
as she bravely show the world
how to wear the sexiest curve,
her smile.
Always wear the sexiness anyone could possess.
haysia Apr 2019
You left me shattered
and I can't do anything
with my broken pieces
I can't do anything
with my crumpled paper
I can't do anything
with those fragments left
that's still waiting for you.
For those people who was left broken and wanted so bad to at least pick up the pieces of their soul.
haysia Feb 2019
Or maybe, just maybe,
even the world is hell,
I'll be happy to be burn with you.
haysia Jan 2017
Reading him is like solving a puzzle where chances of getting lost are much higher than getting it right.
haysia Jul 2019
You put colors to my life
never realized that
putting all the colors together
will make my world dark.
haysia Jan 2017
The water constantly falling from her left eye
signifies the pain that she's feeling
even though half of her body felt nothing.
haysia Nov 2018
"How can I save myself from me?"
She said to herself as the battle continues.
Until she can slay her demons
haysia Mar 2019
I can't help but smile
As I watch you dancing
"I have two left feet", as I always say,
little did I know, you'll be my right foot
and teach me how to tango with life.
haysia Nov 2018
the lifeless body in front of her was put to shame
as she herself kinda dead from the inside
haysia Feb 2019
"You're in deep thoughts,
be careful, you don't even
know how to swim.
"
Little did he know,
she drown herself
into the sea of darkness
inside her.
haysia Jan 2017
"I expected for the worst
and you never fail to disappoint me.
"
She said to herself as
he walked away again
and this time he never looked back.
haysia Nov 2018
I'm here yet I'm not.
I exist yet I don't.
I care yet I didn't.
I'm found yet I'm lost.
haysia Nov 2018
"Be careful. You'll drown if you go far."
Her friend said,
Not knowing that she has been drown
And already died
from her own thoughts.
haysia Jun 2016
How does it feel to be like home?
When  your home feels like a house?
haysia Nov 2018
My thoughts' enough to get me drunk
haysia Dec 2018
"You are not a disappointment."
Even if you didn't pass the board,
or even if you didn't graduate on time,
or even if you didn't pass your subject.
Again, YOU ARE NOT A DISAPPOINTMENT
And circumstances won't change who you are.
YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE
haysia Jan 2017
Let's fall in love at the place
where words like fate or future are *far beyond reach.
haysia Nov 2018
She loves him
But she's not in love with him
haysia Dec 2018
"Just give me five seconds."
He said and hug her.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

He reluctantly get away from her.
And that'll be the substitute
for their so called forever.
That'll be enough for us for now.
haysia Sep 2014
Happiness isn't about laughing out loud.
Happiness is about being contented of what you have.


*And sometimes, by being just simply smiling means a lot.
haysia Apr 2019
"I love you!", he said.
"Really? You love me?!"
I said, surprised.
"HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!"
He said while laughing out loud.
"I knew it!", I said laughing,
while my insides are dying.
It will never happened, I whispered.
haysia May 2019
he and she will always be that
two eyes showing
unspoken love for each other
two hearts longing
for forever in each other
two ears listening
to each other's heartbeat
and
two lost souls
finding each other
haysia Apr 2019
I'll write things you'll never read
I'll express feelings you'll never notice
I'll speak words you'll never listen
I'll portray souls you'll never sense.
The things I do for him and the things he will never do for me
haysia Feb 2019
The world is like a living hell,
glad to say, she played well
for she has to deal
in a different level
with every devil
haysia Nov 2018
"Save me. Please", she beseech.
"No one's going to", her demons said.
As she struggles from slaying her own.

How can she save herself from herself?
haysia Jun 2019
Even with the noise around us
I could still pick his laughter
I could still see those brown eyes
shining, illuminating the dark
I can still touch him
I can still feel him
and I find myself
falling in love all over again
with the figment of my imagination.
Accept that he's already gone. Move forward. And don't look back
haysia Jun 2016
To have a family
is like to
"Feel like home"
BUT
sensation's irate
haysia Dec 2018
She saw him with another girl
She's happy for him
But as she walk away,
"I wish that its still us in the end
and this is just a phase.
"
Was all she said.
haysia Dec 2017
My heart beating frantically
As I lay down in my bed
Never thought that I would still feel this way again
And I wanted to feel those toxics
flowing freely and burning me insides
And to hamper the pain
I am feeling right now
Rather than to feel those growing gap
between us over and over again.
haysia Feb 2019
you said you were
afraid to fall in love
but then again,
you become brave
and ...

you fell for her.
haysia Feb 2019
You said, "I'll be right back baby.
Daddy will be back."

Minutes becomes hours
Days became weeks
Months became years.

I lost count, until one day,
You came to




my wedding day.
I never thought that when you said that means its my wedding day where you will be the one walking me down the aisle.
haysia Feb 2019
She's the flower in his garden,
little did she know,
the gardeners often
maintains the backyard
and just like that,
she was cut out
from his life.
Don't let people treat you like an option, you shouldn't be on the choice. YOU SHOULD BE THE PRIORITY
haysia Feb 2019
A taste of forever from the wrong one
A taste of forever at the wrong time
Just a taste of temporary lifetime.
A taste of temporary
haysia Feb 2019
Listen to what I don't say.
See the things I don't act.
And maybe, just maybe,
my kind of I love you will be relay.
Different kind of showing how much you means to me
haysia Nov 2018
I'm high from my train of thoughts
The thoughts, that's slowly killing me
And became the monster under my bed
For the past couple of years.
haysia Feb 2019
And your lips
tells the greatest lie,
"I am okay."
but your eyes
says otherwise.
haysia Mar 2019
I love you
the lie I keep repeating to myself
and telling him everyday
so I can still secretly
love you from afar.
haysia Jul 2014
"Life isn't complicated." People are.
Life is unfair to you
Life is unfair to me
Life is unfair to them
Life is unfair to all of us
So, life is fair.
Don't blame it all in this world
or in your life.
When you make a choice
You should know to handle the consequences



Life is too short to worry about.
haysia Feb 2019
I can see stars twinkling in your eyes
the moon illuminating your darkest part
the sun shining brightly
and the whole universe
every time you look at
.
.
.
.
.
.
her.
And I am here hoping for nothing
haysia Aug 2016
Home? or *HOUSE?
Did I heard it right?
I'm scared its a yes.
Because I felt everything again.
haysia Feb 2019
I love you so much to let you go
and you love her so much to fight for her.
haysia Jul 2014
Am I about to believe in fate?
Or am I gonna forget it anyway?
Because every time I see you,
It feels like it is always meant to be.
Horses are racing
Affecting my heart thoroughly
With fierce consequences
And engulfed my soul
And anointed to my identity through my mind
It's just, I am outwitted by you
I abhorred it!
Without any acquaintance
That you will gonna be this exalted for me
But, no matter what
You're still the source of my happiness
The reason behind all the pleasures and amusements
Thank you for giving such inspiration
I love the way I love you.
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