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Nashoba Jul 2017
The sun is hot in the open desert. A shadow of hope from the plants that look like they have withered.
Shade we seek the critters scream. Little feet scorching as the sand seems to melt.
Why must I live here. Many folk ask. Would you rather have the ocean to see versus the forever ending rows of Joshua Trees.
My skies are full of glistening stars, when the hot sun sets deep down afar. I have darkness you can never see.  I can see the milky way you see.
I don't need the beach house. I can always hear her waves.  A memory recorded deep in my mind.
The night skies are forever now mine. I fear not the heat of the day. I live my life simple like the old days. I have no wants. My needs are all meet.
As long as I have you with me at night. The stars are our peace in this crazy world.
I love my desert as I love you. Harsh at times. Life gets rough you see. But in the end it is just you and me.
Nashoba copyrighted 2014
Nashoba Aug 2017
Today the sun came back. No more storms. I miss the lightning we now lack.
  The desert is going to be in bloom again as the showers you shed feed the withering blooms.
The tortoise comes out, saw you early this day. Drinking the drops you laid.
The sand looks dry but only to the blind eye. As the water you shed is now hidden deep under the rock bed.
  We welcome your return. New storms that force us to learn, that life is a full circle in this harsh desert world.
For today I say farewell to the storms we had. But waiting for new ones to brighten this land.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017
Nashoba Jul 2017
Early morning, they scuttle around, looking for some junk that no one has yet found.
Look another bright orange sign, slam on the brakes maybe we will make it on time.
Read the sign. Follow endless arrows. Some little punk changed the direction of these arrows.
We drove for an hour, Grandmother said keep going, we will find it, I know it has great offerings.
Tireless efforts the sun has now set. Grandmother was determined to still find this treasure nest.
As annoyed as I was, I would give her the endless days of driving around looking for those junk sale signs, if I could have just one more day.
Now she rides above me as I wander from sale to sale. Stopping only at the ones I know she would have wanted to.
I silently shop through others junk. Talking to her about each item I rummage through thinking of her.
My garage is full of boxes of other peoples stuff as I keep on buying all the junk you thought was just.
I learned much from you. Making money on this stuff. I love you dearly Grandmother for the lessons you taught.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017
Nashoba Aug 2017
Was just dust or dirt to most. Ignorant as to what the earth truly hosts.
From ancient times, what is now considered art. Taught to combine the elements into art.
Red earth, crushes quartz and sand add a little water. Smash it all between my hands. Work it like making bread she says. Put your energy into each piece you create for those outside, maybe they will keep it by their bed.
Your inner strength mixed with the earthen powers is how you create health for all those that you shall encounter.
Your art is unique as the earth is as well. Only a very a small group of people can tell.
Maybe at a pow wow. A stranger picks up a piece, eyes meet no words speak.  You might see some change, you might even feel their pain. Maybe you can pull that away. Or maybe you will even bring them peace even if it's just for that moment or that whole day, you will never know how long, you will just know that you served your purpose on that particular day. You come from the family of healers. Remember your gifts. Never forget your people. Never forget what you have to give.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017
Nashoba Aug 2017
Hey yah hey yah oii yaa haaa yaa.. the drums the songs the words are not gone. Deep within my blood my love for the earth my home my spirit my world. All that my Grandmother taught me to be to this forsaken world.
I dance under the moon. The brightness of her light. Prayers out loud each and every night. My songs and music signing for you. To save this earth from the forsaken fate that has been placed upon you.
I love differently than others, many do not understand. My spirituality is grand. I am free with no pain. I seek no gains from the world as most do.
The only gain I wish to seek is to protect you.
Copyrighted Nashoba 2017
Nashoba Jul 2017
Upon the rocks I sit. Moonlight dancing on my skin. The roaring sound of peace exist as you rush to the edges and splash the sand.
Solitude serenity peaceful with the rythms you play.
Not a single advance sounds the same as the grains of sand wash away.
I throw my sorrow into the foam drop my tears for you to carry home. Into that vast hole as others do.
Dear ocean I feel for you. The burdens you carry. So many. So few know.
I'd be lost without your foamy waves taking all my pain away.
Nashoba 2013 copyrighted.
Nashoba Jul 2017
Mystery in my night. Have seen you once, a pair of you.
I wait for the night to hear your sounds, venture out into the deep hot sand.
Where are you. Hoo hoo I hear you again. I call to you wait a moment, your not silly, knowing not for a single moment I am an owl.
I only wish to see your beautiful face, so white and bold, you truly have my mind on hold.
To watch you fly wings span so far into the sky.
Seems like you touch the moon. I only want to soar with you.
Your safe here with us, no fear of hunters here. Trust me each night, as I shall protect you here.
Come again beautiful one. I find peace and comfort watching you each night.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017
Nashoba Jul 2017
Our eyes met from across the room. I looked away. You moved closer as to prevent me from getting away.
You spoke no words nor did I, seemed as if we had met before, almost just like this day.
You captured my attention. I could no longer look away. Energy you radiated was baffling even to this day.
You asked to sit at the table, the room seemed to empty. It was my mind playing tricks on me. But before I felt so empty. That all changed this very day.
Your hand touched mine, tingles of energy. Emotions transferred through the touch. I knew there could be more for us.
I longed for your voice so soothing bringing me peace. Your presence, became an addiction like you were a drug. I was dependant on, your energy.
Love you said to me. But I was never enough. You sought out others one by one, only I called your bluff.
You made me captive my heart, my mind, my body and my soul. Making me be self destructive. You swore you cared. But yet you continued to roam.
You were my soul mate as I was yours. Breaking my heart in half which you thought was yours.
I prevailed, you lost much. As only one true soul mate exists in your life, all others are fakes. You learned the harshest way, when the others slammed the door. Leaving you in the streets. Thank God I knew more.
I realized I had made a mistake. Being vulnerable at that stage in life. You were a player knowing how to see the weakness. Your words were as fake as you. Blessed with ones to show me the way away from you.
I learned much from you. You were never my soul mate but a soul ******* demon. I learned to look past the game face of others just like you.
I found my real mate. My soul mate no doubts for sure. Should you ever read this note, know that I couldn't ask for more. I'm loved unconditionally. Protected by him. I gave this man my hand in matrimony, and shall be for him with him until my end.
Nashoba copyrighted 2010
Nashoba Aug 2017
Lightning and thunder all around us today. Last night was amazing as the sunset into the warms oranges with a hue of grey.
We all watched loving the gifts of storm. Thunder bolts crashing down some purple some orange.
Boom as the clouds smashed together. Wind wailed on high making the leaves on the trees fly.
Strikes again. Thought of fleeing to the inside deep within. Mesmerized with the lights I stayed as long as I could wait.
Rain poured as you brightened the sky. Ground rumble with the sounds of joy.
What a storm you gave last night. We see you preparing to hide the light.
Let it rain, let it rumble. Grab your marker and streak the sky again. Thank you for the blessings from above. Creator within.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017
Nashoba Sep 2018
As I read through the words. The pain of many cast a picture of darkness. Of sadness. Of despair. This world has lost our children. The right ways. Love in the home. Seems as if many have severely broken days.
If there was fairy dust. Magic glitter. Rainbows we could ride. Magic wands to wave to make you feel like you no longer want to die.
Warmth inside another's arms. Loving hugs to make you know no harm.
Unicorn *******. Rainbows all gone. What has the people of this planet gone and done.
Hope for you. Faith in another. I pray every day you can escape your foul mother.
The terror she's placed deep inside. Manipulated even your brain. What a surprise. Thought that the smart side of you would let you see who was being true. Now you seek vengeance. So much hate inside. I'm so sorry my dear she even pushed your angels to the side.
Rainbows and unicorns do truly exist. Only you have the power to coexist. Once you stop being a child all magical thoughts become truly hollow.
Make your world a beautiful place by believing in your dreams. Don't become shallow. You see she wanted that. You were the subject of a weapon one that can never be repacked.
You were used lied to by her. Abused and know it. But deny the truth behind it.
Search for your rainbow. There's truly a *** of gold. Not like the one she's made you think that your owed.
Nashoba copyrighted 2018
Nashoba Aug 2017
Here it is another year. Today you have survived another ****** year.     Was it ******? Or was it grand? We would never know as you have became  like a grain of sand.
Was this your choice? No not at all. It had always been her wish to destroy us all. To ruin your dreams. Make everyone else seem evil. But deep down inside you know that it's all a game she plays to try and get up a level.
Wake-up today whispering your name, a prayer for you on this supposed to be happy fun day. Pray for your wellness happiness and joy. These are all words that would be said in person if you weren't not missing.
Imprisonment is the same you see. That's what she has done to you and me.
Years of gifts wrapped in a box. Sitting here for you, should you stop being lost. By that time the items most you will have out grown, the tickets to events already expired. Making sure your birthdays were grand and only for your day not to share with another.
For this birthday I ask for the same dam wish. Wish upon a falling star to hear your voice and share your special day.
I hope this year, the same as the last and the one before you will be truly really real happy once more.
Happy birthday to you my dear sweet child. No other words come about today, other than we wish the best for you. The thoughts of you will always be there. Maybe one day she will grow up and let what's right be done for you.
We would send a card but it would be returned as many other things. Hand written on envelopes and boxes return to sender no such person at this address is all we have gotten in the past.
We have tried to call. The phones are no longer in service. Just to show you how cruel she really is.
We have not forgotten about you. We will never ever let loose of you.
Happy birthday beautiful one. With all the love we send you are a special one.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017
Nashoba Aug 2017
The night sky is so bright. So vivid of the galaxies far away. The constellations seem to intertwine. As they look like they are dancing as they all touch each other when you get to finally understand.
Laying on the ground looking up for all that has been gifted to us. Amazed as how much resembles glitter dust.
Maybe that is where we all go once our being ends. As we simply are made of Star dust.
  My time here is numbered I know. Never had a fear to go. I see the galaxies with the stars all around. Ready for my new world. I wonder if it will be just like this hard ground.
Death comes the ones that are left behind. Waste foolish funds thinking it's the right choice to make their good byes.
It's not what I want you to do. Just send my ashes to the stars when I am through.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017
Nashoba Jul 2017
Upon this desert floor I sit. Waiting for the clouds to split. Mesmerized by the sounds and feelings of thunder. Watching for that moment when you rain down on me.
The tortoise is waiting to drink from your medicine. The desert plants that most see as weeds await the sprinkles to invigorate life be it for a moment that is all they need.
The clouds bellow like plums of smoke, shifting shapes, laughter from the couple who eloped, joking about picking a day to be wed in the desert as the sky opens up.
Her wedding dress soaked, the groom spoke. We married in the storm, soaking wet, now we can get through life holding hands. There will be no storm we can't ride. My love for you shall never die.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017
Nashoba Jul 2017
I remember your laughter, the smile so bright. The days of all was a mystery in the impeding light.
The sorrows you shared of a life full of change. From a bad boy friend to the poor health that caused you so much pain.
The day you had your mural put on a wall for all to see for life. The excitement you shared. Such a strong gleam of light. No matter what the peril you continued to fight.
I miss you more than anyone understands. The years that have passed don't bridge this gap I have from the memories of holding your hand.
I see your face in many others and have doubled back to check. Of course I know you are free from this world, free from the pain and ill. But there always will be hope.
My beautiful angel. Rest in peace tonight. Wait for my songs I sing as I call out all the stars in the sky, as we did when you were here.
My art carries on for you. Every piece as if you were near.
These words could go on and on as there is never enough to write. Must I'm sure you know I continue to write. Not always connected. Piles of note books full. Hard drives with your words that only you and I know.
I've grown tired. Thought about giving up. But each time I get there I realize how strong you were and that you never ever gave up.
Nashoba copyrighted 2008
Nashoba Jul 2017
Draw the line between sadness and depression. Which is it today? As I can not see beyond this grey.
Loss, pain, memories of it all. Memories of them haunt within.
Today I thought if life carried beyond maybe I could go be with all of them. No guarantees. Not a sure bet you see. I don't gamble well. Therfore I will continue to live in this hell.
No medications, no shrink talk makes these feelings resolve they just continue to rise to the top.
I balance my life on a narrow walking beam. Grasping onto hope that one day this will all be glee.
I've never tried to take my own life. As I have always felt that the end results would be more hell in the after life.
I walk around as if I am a zombie. No emotions come out. No sign of happy. It's not that I want to be here in this state. There is no way to escape.
I look for beauty in all that is around. I find some form of peace by laying on this hard ground.
I feel the spirit that all has inside. I allow the energy to find me bring me alive.
A process for life. A struggle many have. I know I am not alone. I am glad.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017
Nashoba Aug 2017
Wet sand. Ocean waves. Frothy foam covering a grave.
Silence is deafening. Noise is silent. Crashing waves upon the ground I lay.
I've died today. Nothing left inside. I've died many times. Has nothing to do with sin.
I exist not live. No one understands this road. As death is complex and has many forms behold.
Each time I loose someone I love. I die again another part of being loved.
This part never returns to my body. It is permanent death, just another piece of my body.
  My heart is shattered in more ways than one. Broken in half by that very first one.
  I gave my heart to you. You broke it in more pieces than two.
Betrayal, was the start. Now I've learned how to protect what is left of my heart.
  I am still dead you see. But I still have the ocean to cleanse thee. You can't take that from anyone. You made me hollow and I thought we were having fun.
I'm not the only one you betrayed. Others before my day. Ones beyond the years we were. All the same results, nothing but a bunch of broken mirrors.
  I know you have no heart left at all. Reality is you had none when we had it all.
One day your children will see what a messed up father you set out to be. God protect them from you. As you are not pure or free of evil I know this for sure.
Nashoba copyrighted 2011

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