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"manically" poems
No men. But when the conversation starts, they dominate. Worm their way into every sentence, every silence. Every caught breath, exhaled pause. Names, nice-to-meet-yous, passed round with sandwiches and tea. Hole-riddled autobiographies, wadded out with circumstance and need. Explaining themselves, defending their actions. In turn. And I? Have never felt so young. To my left, and working clockwise: Affair-with-the-boss, Heart-condition, High-risk-of-genetic-defects, In-the-middle-of-a-divorce-not-sure-why-she-slept-with-him, Grown-up-children-can’t-bear-to-go-through-that-again, and back to me. (Boyfriend-has-two-kids-wants-no-more) He noticed that I’m pregnant. Was pregnant. Was. We chew our way through sandwiches. Different coloured fillings, no flavour- choked down with lukewarm tea. We know it’s a test. We have to talk, smile, eat, drink, laugh (not manically) if we're to go home. I can’t do it. I want to cry. But I’ve been told off for that already (curled up on a trolley, examining bloodied fingers) I drift, I think. Jump out of my skin when she speaks to me. "You must eat" she says. "You must eat." I search for myself in their eyes, re-make myself from fragments and reflections I find there (Four parts child, one part b-tch) "It’s OK" I tell her, "It’s OK. On my way home I’ll get a Happy Meal. I’m collecting the toys."
0
Jan 7, 2012
Jan 7, 2012 at 4:11 PM UTC
afternoon tea
Near a town of history untold Where everyone knows each name Wooden behemoths - obliviously old Each unique but each the same It was meant to be a perfect day Of tranquility through the trees Instead, the sky is brood with grey And the leafs flow as they please Alone, in nature's splendor spilled In a rainy wilderness, seldom seen The birds and insects grow suddenly still In a spread silence of the green Like eyes embedded in your back You sense the stare of something sour The mood hurries to horrid black As you quiver into a cower In bending branches blended Creeping in creases - camouflaged Nature's imbalance to be amended In the forest's full mirage Witness a terror appearing Frantically floating from afar Emerged in echoes and vaguely veering Black, bleak and bizarre A malevolent, monstrous maw Snarls of hunger, habit, and hate A malodor of meat, reeking raw A violently increasing heart rate From frozen still to fearfully shaking You are manically mesmerised Your pupils promptly dilating As you and the beast lock eyes Your meaningless attempt to run From a stride to a collapse The beams above crown the sun As the twigs around you snap A soar of pain as you hit the ground Chest cavity cracked open As you faint, you hear the sound Of a language never spoken. Gutted and gargling gore Eaten by nature's nightmare Convulsing on a forest floor Indifference chokes the air It's just another perfect day Of tranquility in the trees The rain has stopped, the leafs still sway With the cooling, comfortable breeze
0
Jan 31, 2018
Jan 31, 2018 at 3:46 PM UTC
A Perfect Day
Near a town of history untold Where everyone knows each name Wooden behemoths - obliviously old Each unique but each the same It was meant to be a perfect day Of tranquility through the trees Instead, the sky is brood with grey And the leafs flow as they please Alone, in nature's splendor spilled In a rainy wilderness, seldom seen The birds and insects grow suddenly still In a spread silence of the green Like eyes embedded in your back You sense the stare of something sour The mood hurries to horrid black As you quiver into a cower In bending branches blended Creeping in creases - camouflaged Nature's imbalance to be amended In the forest's full mirage Witness a terror appearing Frantically floating from afar Emerged in echoes and vaguely veering Black, bleak and bizarre A malevolent, monstrous maw Snarls of hunger, habit, and hate A malodor of meat, reeking raw A violently increasing heart rate From frozen still to fearfully shaking You are manically mesmerised Your pupils promptly dilating As you and the beast lock eyes Your meaningless attempt to run From a stride to a collapse The beams above crown the sun As the twigs around you snap A soar of pain as you hit the ground Chest cavity cracked open As you faint, you hear the sound Of a language never spoken. Gutted and gargling gore Eaten by nature's nightmare Convulsing on a forest floor Indifference chokes the air It's just another perfect day Of tranquility in the trees The rain has stopped, the leafs still sway With the cooling, comfortable breeze
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48
Darkness of night catches me, Traps me in his grasp, I grapple, Trying desperately to avoid sleeps' sticky web, Evasive action, Breathe against cold night air, Filtered through the open window, Window to my sleepy soul, Trying to stay alert, Under a burning weight of two tonne eyelids, Flicker of a mosquito shadow flickering under night's lamp illumination, Buzzing manically, So insane, Heavy eyes drift, View of shadow incessant flicking, Vacant thoughts as topics drift, Last shiver, quiver, jolt........, Sleep. By ladylivvi1 © 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)
0
Aug 7, 2013
Aug 7, 2013 at 6:38 PM UTC
Fighting!
My nail polish peels like wallpaper on a dead house and i suppose thats what i am a dead house decrepit and torn broken down and old from 16 years of broken mentality *** Nympho-manically wanted Lips, Hips, thighs. But what if thats gone and my wallpaper is peeling like ripe fruit
0
Sep 8, 2014
Sep 8, 2014 at 11:04 AM UTC
Dead House
One of those meant to be free They say if you follow her when she wonders you’ll find her talking to trees She’s one of those mysterious souls, always lost inside herself Contemplating matters of existence, dreaming of metaphysical wealth A place of paradise, where all is free of pain A space that flourishes with the manically insane A collection of minds feeding off debauchery A gathering of souls to rebel the hypocrisy   Armed with a mind full of soldiers, ready to win this war of expression She knows it’s up to her to lead free the life she’s destined
0
Oct 7, 2011
Oct 7, 2011 at 1:52 AM UTC
DO YOU SUPPOSE SHE’S A WILDFLOWER?
Colors fade together Lines blur Madly, truly, deeply, for an instant Moved to hate, in an instant I wish so despairingly That I could Love You But know that I never will I wish so desperately that I could Love Someone, Anyone Yet I know I never can Bones elongate, stretch to impossible lengths Soul trapped inside Manically rattling its prison walls Begging to live To be set free to hug the steaming pavement until Skin slithers away like worms; Mindless, fearful Begging to love you, whoever you are
0
Mar 30, 2011
Mar 30, 2011 at 8:55 AM UTC
Begging
Shiny bricks and skeins of yellow grass Barely perceptible colours Hung with liquid haze Dog **** and thunder Heavy close and thick Miasma Clings to sweat Running with drizzle Clings to damp Drowning the pores of the skin Making collars clinging sticky Rubbing and abrasive In view of the towering flats The greyly awaiting wait Standing at the bus stop Speaking quiet weather talk In the distantly English way So safely meaningless This polite evasion Ignores their damp dilemma Soon, as they sit inside the bus These bodies shall steam Like cattle in a byre Kids hang around the shops Emptying and kicking cans The younger ones Run and shout manically Their elders spit And swear casually All hoods and shadows Asking adults to buy them lager Because they can't get served at the "offie" Rain changes nothing here A bedroom guitar plays Weakly electric And the Turneresque sky Swallows the sound whole and flat Sophisticated trash Crying into a cloudy breast Shaded darkly round Full and swollen Grey and sodden The distant rumbling Tumbling closer to home                                     By Phil Roberts
0
May 6, 2017
May 6, 2017 at 10:54 AM UTC
HEAVY WEATHER ON THE FAMILY ESTATE
Another haunt is arriving, feverishly fast tonight. Somehow I managed to delay the feeling, briefly, as it usually takes the manageable Subway and begins to fester around high noon, but today I skipped lunch, and the feeling didn't go underground for her mode of transport. "Maybe I hit the lotto?", I secretly questioned, and the haunt would forget her requiem, passing over me like those lucky "Kennedy Husbands" during the sixties' draft. But I was getting divorced while all the other couples were on a faster track heading in the opposite direction. Tonight the haunt is traveling 248 mph, on the Fùxīng ** bullet train from Beijing to Shanghai, en route to Vietnam. The conductor yelled, "All Aboard." and as if that period denoted a punctual mark, everyone manically crammed into the narrow vehicle. The first influx of lovely passengers to board were, Missus Anxiety, Sir Prior Transgressions and Dr. Heartache. Unlike Dr. Feelgood, They had been waiting in line from the previous night, like those idiots for last week’s black Friday sale. Mr. and Mrs. Payments Past Due cut in front of Bills Esquire and Judge Job Insecurity, for the Belmont Superfecta win, I guessed the right horses, just didn’t box my bet. Congressman Careless and Deputy ******* nearly trampled Senator Surrender on the way through the turnstiles, while Mayor Moan was flagged by security for groaning and pulled aside for a pat down and wheelchair inspection. The  Mayor was found to have ******* residue on his sleeve, but legitimate prescriptions for his aches and pains, so TSA wheeled him through the crack rocks Analog veins pump analog blood to my analog heart; traveling for the journey and not its hasty destination.   My analog heart will eventually be shelved, as it still salutes the Subway on its journey to my soul, but like dusting off an old Coen Brothers flick, my analog heart is still entertaining its vintage tick.
0
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 9:23 PM UTC
My Analog Heart
Another haunt is arriving, feverishly fast tonight. Somehow I managed to delay the feeling, briefly, as it usually takes the manageable Subway and begins to fester around high noon, but today I skipped lunch, and the feeling didn't go underground for her mode of transport. "Maybe I hit the lotto?", I secretly questioned, and the haunt would forget her requiem, passing over me like those lucky "Kennedy Husbands" during the sixties' draft. But I was getting divorced while all the other couples were on a faster track heading in the opposite direction. Tonight the haunt is traveling 248 mph, on the Fùxīng ** bullet train from Beijing to Shanghai, en route to Vietnam. The conductor yelled, "All Aboard." and as if that period denoted a punctual mark, everyone manically crammed into the narrow vehicle. The first influx of lovely passengers to board were, Missus Anxiety, Sir Prior Transgressions and Dr. Heartache. Unlike Dr. Feelgood, They had been waiting in line from the previous night, like those idiots for last week’s black Friday sale. Mr. and Mrs. Payments Past Due cut in front of Bills Esquire and Judge Job Insecurity, for the Belmont Superfecta win, I guessed the right horses, just didn’t box my bet. Congressman Careless and Deputy ******* nearly trampled Senator Surrender on the way through the turnstiles, while Mayor Moan was flagged by security for groaning and pulled aside for a pat down and wheelchair inspection. The  Mayor was found to have ******* residue on his sleeve, but legitimate prescriptions for his aches and pains, so TSA wheeled him through the crack rocks Analog veins pump analog blood to my analog heart; traveling for the journey and not its hasty destination.   My analog heart will eventually be shelved, as it still salutes the Subway on its journey to my soul, but like dusting off an old Coen Brothers flick, my analog heart is still entertaining its vintage tick.
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34
A babbling brook of blood Veers violently and viciously. Slipping silently through sunsets, The trials and tears of the terrified Add adversity to the adamant tide. Hunters hound the hunted, Sacrificing several subtle souls, And manically murdering men. Forever on the freshet flows, With darkened death as deluge.
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Feb 4, 2013
Feb 4, 2013 at 11:30 AM UTC
Darkened Death as Deluge
Some women will scribble your name in schoolbooks but never spit it out loud. Some women float away like dandelions. Some women bubble so much they spill over the side of your cup of coffee. Some women will leave a minty taste under your tongue. Some women say they hate you but they don’t. Some women are constructed out of paper. Some women copy others to make themselves feel good. Some women are as a juicy as a pineapple everybody wants the very next drop. Some women will call you and say wrong number sorry. Some women win without as much as a line of sweat on their skulls. Some women carry names inside their jean pockets. Some women want diamonds. Some women loathe other women but never explain why. Some women will tear you open like it’s Christmas. Some women live as if on the edge of a cliff. Some women want thin. Some women like big. Some women won’t care if you don’t party hard. Some women dance so well you will fall underneath the flashing disco lights. Some women have you as their favourite headache. Some women teach better than any professor. Some women hate the size of their ******* Some women swipe husbands and keep a tally below the floorboards where no-one has to know. Some women have been singed you could set them alight. Some women won’t do what you want them to. Some women count stars until they lose count. Some women click their heels and make a wish or ten. Some women can see their futures glistening in the corners of their eyes. Some women **** men with their lipstick. Some women know with just one look. Some women squeal as though a toaster has been tossed in the bathtub. Some women want three words three syllables to swirl manically through their veins. Some women would prefer it if you split the bill. Some women choose click-flicks over *** Some women cheat when playing Monopoly. Some women are left-handed and until they write the wedding invitations you won’t even know. Some women are fake outside but real inside. Some women judge books by their covers. Some women bleed red if they’re feeling blue. Some women prefer Pepsi over Coke. Some women drive wildly because they can. Some women turn bad when they get drunk they won’t remember but you’ll never forget. Some women dread the moment anyone sees them with no clothes on. Some women are like morphine. Some women will watch you crawl away and laugh the sound smacking your eardrum again and again. Some women will treat you like their next cigarette. Some women will offer you their Vimto hearts beg you to keep them beating.
0
Aug 11, 2015
Aug 11, 2015 at 11:14 AM UTC
Pick 'n' Mix
Some women will scribble your name in schoolbooks but never spit it out loud. Some women float away like dandelions. Some women bubble so much they spill over the side of your cup of coffee. Some women will leave a minty taste under your tongue. Some women say they hate you but they don’t. Some women are constructed out of paper. Some women copy others to make themselves feel good. Some women are as a juicy as a pineapple everybody wants the very next drop. Some women will call you and say wrong number sorry. Some women win without as much as a line of sweat on their skulls. Some women carry names inside their jean pockets. Some women want diamonds. Some women loathe other women but never explain why. Some women will tear you open like it’s Christmas. Some women live as if on the edge of a cliff. Some women want thin. Some women like big. Some women won’t care if you don’t party hard. Some women dance so well you will fall underneath the flashing disco lights. Some women have you as their favourite headache. Some women teach better than any professor. Some women hate the size of their ******* Some women swipe husbands and keep a tally below the floorboards where no-one has to know. Some women have been singed you could set them alight. Some women won’t do what you want them to. Some women count stars until they lose count. Some women click their heels and make a wish or ten. Some women can see their futures glistening in the corners of their eyes. Some women **** men with their lipstick. Some women know with just one look. Some women squeal as though a toaster has been tossed in the bathtub. Some women want three words three syllables to swirl manically through their veins. Some women would prefer it if you split the bill. Some women choose click-flicks over *** Some women cheat when playing Monopoly. Some women are left-handed and until they write the wedding invitations you won’t even know. Some women are fake outside but real inside. Some women judge books by their covers. Some women bleed red if they’re feeling blue. Some women prefer Pepsi over Coke. Some women drive wildly because they can. Some women turn bad when they get drunk they won’t remember but you’ll never forget. Some women dread the moment anyone sees them with no clothes on. Some women are like morphine. Some women will watch you crawl away and laugh the sound smacking your eardrum again and again. Some women will treat you like their next cigarette. Some women will offer you their Vimto hearts beg you to keep them beating.
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63
Why be a writer when you can be a poet? Why tell someone you love them when you can show it? You can write all you want and you can say all you want, but it doesn't matter if you can't have a love affair with your piece. So let's make love and not war and not desecrate the name of peace in the name of war. The only wars that ought the be waged are those against those who oppress. Sadly those who oppress control the press. This world is in distress.I am a convoluted manically depressed hyperactive mess. I may be a nobody but my words will have an impact. An impact on those who made a pact to protect us, They will cower in fear at the boy with blood on his paper and ink in his heart. AND HOW DARE THEY SAY THAT MY POETRY SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED ART! I say we kickstart the next beatnik generation... And give these kids, some true... motivation.
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Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 3:35 PM UTC
Writer's Walk Piece
I covet the hideous cult of fame. Spending my days in despondent cafés manically scribbling passionate love letters to recognition. I'm not in love I'm insane. Suffering from self-diagnosed misunderstood artist syndrome. My heart cries silent. I am a shadow in the distance. Warped, distorted and dark I scream alone; never to be touched. I am a poser, a fame ****** and a hero worshiper. My vitriol view on the world hinders me. Constantly on the verge of crying in public. Staring at train tracks, they invite me away. Looking more comfortable then a bed. I try to live in the now but the future petrifies me. I can't escape my own mind. Y culture, My culture, Counter culture, **** culture, Love culture, Hate culture, Phonies. I can’t see past the haze of disappointment I have designed myself. I smoke **** because it relaxes me, makes me feel like what I assume normality feels like. I drink because it makes me feel like how I assume those happy people feel. I take heroine because it makes me feel euphoric and takes me close enough to death that I want to live another day. A brutal fear beats my anaemic mind. A peculiar fear grips my inner-self and I can’t bear to open my eyes and see that I had survived the night. I become saddened by the thought that I might also survive the day, living to see what I will be tomorrow. Happy in the madness. Longing for that sick feeling. In love with the sadness. Searching in the dark recesses of the mind for inspiration. I can’t see past my fate, it’s too dark. I sit and source inspiration through the emotions and physical fits of ************ Self-abuse. Clawing for red gold in the catacombs that meander through my pale arms. Beat myself out of sight beat me out of sight beat me beat me till I float. Beat me beat me till I float. I am a poser, a fame ****** and a hero worshiper. My vitriol view on the world hinders me. Constantly on the verge of crying in public. Staring at train tracks, they invite me away. Looking more comfortable than a bed. Relapse is fine by me. I want this. I want this. I want this. I want this. Not a tortured artist just tortured. Not a tortured soul just a cracked shell. In the name of art but in the corner of sickness. Beat myself out of sight beat me out of sight beat me beat me till I float. Beat me beat me till I float.
0
Jun 12, 2014
Jun 12, 2014 at 10:57 AM UTC
Dysania
I covet the hideous cult of fame. Spending my days in despondent cafés manically scribbling passionate love letters to recognition. I'm not in love I'm insane. Suffering from self-diagnosed misunderstood artist syndrome. My heart cries silent. I am a shadow in the distance. Warped, distorted and dark I scream alone; never to be touched. I am a poser, a fame ****** and a hero worshiper. My vitriol view on the world hinders me. Constantly on the verge of crying in public. Staring at train tracks, they invite me away. Looking more comfortable then a bed. I try to live in the now but the future petrifies me. I can't escape my own mind. Y culture, My culture, Counter culture, **** culture, Love culture, Hate culture, Phonies. I can’t see past the haze of disappointment I have designed myself. I smoke **** because it relaxes me, makes me feel like what I assume normality feels like. I drink because it makes me feel like how I assume those happy people feel. I take heroine because it makes me feel euphoric and takes me close enough to death that I want to live another day. A brutal fear beats my anaemic mind. A peculiar fear grips my inner-self and I can’t bear to open my eyes and see that I had survived the night. I become saddened by the thought that I might also survive the day, living to see what I will be tomorrow. Happy in the madness. Longing for that sick feeling. In love with the sadness. Searching in the dark recesses of the mind for inspiration. I can’t see past my fate, it’s too dark. I sit and source inspiration through the emotions and physical fits of ************ Self-abuse. Clawing for red gold in the catacombs that meander through my pale arms. Beat myself out of sight beat me out of sight beat me beat me till I float. Beat me beat me till I float. I am a poser, a fame ****** and a hero worshiper. My vitriol view on the world hinders me. Constantly on the verge of crying in public. Staring at train tracks, they invite me away. Looking more comfortable than a bed. Relapse is fine by me. I want this. I want this. I want this. I want this. Not a tortured artist just tortured. Not a tortured soul just a cracked shell. In the name of art but in the corner of sickness. Beat myself out of sight beat me out of sight beat me beat me till I float. Beat me beat me till I float.
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13
Salty tears Slither like snakes in summer Meandering moments of madness mused Ratchet heart and rabid tongue retorts Flimflam fluke fisticuffs fought A mirrored mirage manically manifest A parade of psychosis fevered pitch Easy the embryo erased eternal Gods grace given gone Sanguine souls stand sequestered A pitiful penitent they plead A song of Solomon heralds Cherubs on chariots Carrying chalices crafted of gold Seeks repentance refrained from sin All souls suffer life myriad interpretations And all Must answer In The End
0
Aug 2, 2016
Aug 2, 2016 at 10:21 AM UTC
Salty Tears
A corner of a room is a misguided place to cower in. Bad move! Especially after you have just had chicken chow mein styled into your hair. You sit. Transfixed. You watch. Catatonic. Prawn ***** glisten like diamonds in the snow as they slide effortlessly down the peeling wallpaper. Baby screams. Baby screams relentlessly. The stench of cheap beer perfumes the stagnant air. You think to yourself "Is this it?" Then you remember You remember …. What the hell was her name? It’s on the tip of your tongue …. BANG !!! Tina Smitherson *Once! Just once ….* The one and only time he raised his hand. She was gone. Didn’t even look back. And her so quiet and all …. Oh ….how we tormented her. Oh …. how we teased her. **BOO !!! BOO !!! BOO !!!** Away she ran like a frightened little mouse. No friends. No life. Nothing. A bona fide geek. And yet …. And yet … only once. How was that possible? Night turns to day. You look around the room. *Chaos. Filth. Emptiness.* Taunt at you manically …. in triplicate. Baby sleeps peacefully in her makeshift cot. Bruises red and angry. *Maybe today …. Maybe ….* Then you reach down into your darkest resolve and open the cupboard beneath the sink. Bin bags. Detergent. Dish cloths. Dustpan and brush. “I wonder what Tina Smitherson is doing at this precise moment in time?”
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Jan 23, 2011
Jan 23, 2011 at 11:18 PM UTC
"I wonder what Tina Smitherson is doing at this precise moment in time?"
Slept all night. Brain wide awake. Body woke. Shaking. Wrapped in sweat so cold. Dreamed As if non stop during darkened hours. Meeting in the graveyard. Cemetery of shame. Necropolis of long dead regret. Pursued by gang without escape. Feral kids exuded terror. Petrified as long dead tree. Heart created in stone. Eons of ancient history. Step taken furtively. Begging to be set free. Let go. Space invaded by fear dressed in denim. Misgivings unforgiving. Scared near to dying. Heart beating manically. Scarred by memories of neglect. Painted hatred on a memory stick of sorrow. Maybe brighter in the morrow! Cruelty in dreams. Unbearable. By ladylivvi1 © 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)
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Oct 21, 2013
Oct 21, 2013 at 2:59 PM UTC
Grotesque Night!
fifty years later you girls wear their old dresses over sky blue leggings lace and fabric that smells of lost time you found them in stores with high ceilings and a sloppily simulated rustic vibe you love your waists tastefully cinched and collar bones concealed you twirl before the full length mirrors and wish oh how you wish you could have been born then instead of now everything was so much classier! the women were a different kind of beautiful women who smoked in their bathtubs cardboard hairdos unraveling women elbow deep in baking soda and dishsoap soft secretive smiles overtaking their faces as they rattled through the medicine cabinet for a snack (twice a day) pregnant again for the fourth time yet thin as a rail somehow ghosts in their own skin silent but deadly crying manically because of the smoke in their eyes choking gently on the powder all over their tight lovely complexions dinner ready at six sharp as a rusty nail fantasizing about what it would be like to fall in love with another woman scuffing their knees and showing the raw skin off to all the young men with sunlight left over from childhood still swimming in their eyes or walking home in the rain without an umbrella and having that be ok slapping their own faces at such trecherous thoughts obsessing over how their mothers did it with so much **** grace... but yes girls their clothes were simply divine
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Feb 2, 2010
Feb 2, 2010 at 11:33 AM UTC
Antique Dresses
Off course, Of course The sea's salty spray stings my eyes Trembling pointer finger I wipe away what I can only imagine is a drop packed full of fish **** Often, the fan shakes Or is it me who isn't still? Often, I'll grab for warm skin I'll dig desperately through layers of Filth and disappointment Often, I'll grab for you More filth and disappointment Outside, the sound waves find their way into my lonely quarters Filling the endless cracks of whistling wind Filling the endless cracks of my cold respite The glow of your face Eyes piercing through the darkness with valor unseen by heroes brave and timeless I've never worshipped hands so leathery Wounded by stale talk that sank into your heart like an anchor carelessly dropped into the sea's cruel blue swell I would say sorry a thousand times over if it stripped your heart of the ghosts that hide and cackle amongst your vast, haunted corridors I'm still--- the shallow shards of your breath poke at my bullet proof hip My brain drips manically with the endless horror of your ghastly, **** luck It creeps into my porous skin embedding itself into my DNA God, I've never felt so helpless I've felt your fingers like the apple out of my reach I'll catch you before you hit the ground like all the heroes before you With a marble floor slate that was empty and pure With the white sheen of better handshakes and conversations with more peaks than valleys
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Sep 9, 2013
Sep 9, 2013 at 4:23 PM UTC
It was about ships but then I changed my mind
The feminine voice finds many ways to my ear It conceals its muffled words in droplets of water Brushes against me while in tow of unknowing winds Shrieking whispers invade my solitude Masters of disguises invisible to young eyes. I can never fall asleep as gently as I once could Drifting into the safe havens has become a rough journey Dreams have become a great escape rather than a warm embrace Through battle they have my eyes hostage By their command they unwillingly disallow rest. As butterflies caught in a storm, my eyes flutter manically in their cage In closed lids they pry and scratch in search of escape. Never ceasing to stop looking they trap me in this limbo Almost treacherously aiding the sexless voiced general In his raiding my humanity for feelings to satisfy his troops hunger. But they are disappointed more often than not Self ruining feelings are all this soulless ghost army craves A delicacy they tasted in me and fed on in greed I am sorry, dear enemy, your momentary pleasure is over This storage is running low from frequent raids of provoked panic and emotion. This war has been long, and no longer appears a battle More a dance well practiced, predictable every night You have eaten all of what you desired, but fear not I have something left Without catch nor trickery I give to you a message of kindness and savior- It reads Your hunger will bring starvation So let me sleep, or continue your attacks to your downfall.
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Jun 4, 2013
Jun 4, 2013 at 3:27 PM UTC
I Remember this Dance
You ask me why we never talk anymore It's like you've erased from your memory The fact That we never did Maybe you don't remember The days that you told me That I was worthless Maybe you've forgotten That December afternoon When you manically drove full speed Into the car ahead of us And cried of disappointment When you found your family Still breathing Or perhaps you can't recall The Friday night When I told you that I wanted to take my life And you went to the kitchen To hand me a knife Maybe you think That your newfound success Makes you a better parent Maybe you've convinced yourself That envelopes of money And elaborate gifts Will heal open wounds And fade tattooed scars Maybe in your mind You've rewritten the past But I'm stuck on a page That I simply cannot turn
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Oct 30, 2015
Oct 30, 2015 at 1:54 PM UTC
Bookmarked
They're sorry to announce she's dead peacefully passed over in bed with family and dearest friends a blessing for her in the end They always use such clichéd weasel words to avoid offence or create pretence kindly perpetuate lying-in-state wash the slate and cleanse cool reference Seems strange I don't see her going gently I saw her manically playing the Shrew she cast two gentle husbands aside ever the screaming cheating bride but on stage and screen ever the radiant queen We're told to celebrate A-list lives but I contemplate my own losses those parts of my life that passed away watching old films is my afterlife.
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Jul 12, 2015
Jul 12, 2015 at 6:38 AM UTC
After Life
It's one step forward, 18 in the past, I take things hard, I hope that won't last, If I had more courage, cared less about people, Maybe I'd love myself, Not give into evil, Eyes tick frantically, Fingers always twitch, My mind flails manically, I count my intellect rich, It's all a wall, This stone facade, Bringing on the fall, Of one once thought god, It wasn't the woman, It wasn't his wealth, It was what he hadn't thought, It was only himself, Midas chose to step down, Too little too late, The king now a clown, A victim of fate, Or was he this hour, the **** of the joke, His situation dour, His life up in smoke, Freedom was his, To reclaim her anew, and realizing this, Like an eagle, He flew.
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Dec 25, 2012
Dec 25, 2012 at 2:06 AM UTC
Midas.
Dusk sets on the quiet desert Eerie shadows hide behind saguaro soldiers And sanguine striped snakes Sneak back into the earth Rowdy coyotes meet among the rocks To cry at the moon Who never cries back The wind roams so freely through the desert Stopping where she likes To dance with the wildflowers Or tickle the sun soaking geckos She laughs as she passes by And the sands chase after her Begging to ever be so light as to Keep company with the clouds The mountain wraps his unfaltering arms Snugly around the valley A regal jacket of deep greens and browns Laid across his towering shoulders He lets his gaze follow the hustle and bustle Of life in the desert as suns set and rise From the place he has always been Greeting each javelina and jack rabbit As they settle into his solid embrace The wind moves manically Passing through the creosote bushes With just enough time for a polite greeting Before she rushed off to tease the birds She touches every piece of her beloved desert But she can never settle or linger too long For fear of losing herself all together The mountain feels his weight Pressing so firmly against the earth He faces anyone who challenges him And he only rumbles with laughter When they strike But he begins to wonder what lies beyond Where the liquidy sun shimmers in the air He cannot abandon his post For fear of crumbling into pieces of himself The mountain cradles the wind Slowing her down long enough To warmly welcome her home The wind tells the mountain Stories of the desert
0
Apr 14, 2019
Apr 14, 2019 at 1:59 AM UTC
April in Arizona
Dusk sets on the quiet desert Eerie shadows hide behind saguaro soldiers And sanguine striped snakes Sneak back into the earth Rowdy coyotes meet among the rocks To cry at the moon Who never cries back The wind roams so freely through the desert Stopping where she likes To dance with the wildflowers Or tickle the sun soaking geckos She laughs as she passes by And the sands chase after her Begging to ever be so light as to Keep company with the clouds The mountain wraps his unfaltering arms Snugly around the valley A regal jacket of deep greens and browns Laid across his towering shoulders He lets his gaze follow the hustle and bustle Of life in the desert as suns set and rise From the place he has always been Greeting each javelina and jack rabbit As they settle into his solid embrace The wind moves manically Passing through the creosote bushes With just enough time for a polite greeting Before she rushed off to tease the birds She touches every piece of her beloved desert But she can never settle or linger too long For fear of losing herself all together The mountain feels his weight Pressing so firmly against the earth He faces anyone who challenges him And he only rumbles with laughter When they strike But he begins to wonder what lies beyond Where the liquidy sun shimmers in the air He cannot abandon his post For fear of crumbling into pieces of himself The mountain cradles the wind Slowing her down long enough To warmly welcome her home The wind tells the mountain Stories of the desert
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A hummingbird’s fragile heart can beat up to 1260 beats per minute. That’s a whopping 21 beats per second, Which is rather fitting, Because my pumping ***** manically pounds against my chest at a constant rate. It only comprehends one anxious speed: fast. What is also fitting, Is that hummingbirds are capable of flying in all different sporadic directions, And I am never meant to be in one place. We are not meant to have a standard sightseeing radius of one cul-de-sac, But rather drift and soar to various dimensions and realities. Without this freedom, we both simply cease to exist as an entity. And so, when we find ourselves trapped- Which is the one primitive and instinctual fear birds and humans alike have in common- Desperation and panic cannot begin to describe The depth of the dark cave of unfitting enclosure In which our brightly vibes of body and mind find ourselves in. We ****** and thrash ourselves in a suicidal manner against the bars, We refuse food and drink in silent protest and rebellion, And then beg and plead with our captors to be let free at last, Wondering why, the hummingbird and I, deserve to suffer. What did we do? Claustrophobia is a serious issue. And it does not have to be in the form of a cage. And it chokes. Hummingbirds are delicate creatures. If you squeeze too tightly, their eyes will bulge out of their skull, And their heart will race to extreme measures, Until they are crushed and are no more, Leaving the captor’s hands wet and sopping With blood and guts and feathers. Please do not crush me.
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May 16, 2014
May 16, 2014 at 9:52 PM UTC
Claustrophobic
A hummingbird’s fragile heart can beat up to 1260 beats per minute. That’s a whopping 21 beats per second, Which is rather fitting, Because my pumping ***** manically pounds against my chest at a constant rate. It only comprehends one anxious speed: fast. What is also fitting, Is that hummingbirds are capable of flying in all different sporadic directions, And I am never meant to be in one place. We are not meant to have a standard sightseeing radius of one cul-de-sac, But rather drift and soar to various dimensions and realities. Without this freedom, we both simply cease to exist as an entity. And so, when we find ourselves trapped- Which is the one primitive and instinctual fear birds and humans alike have in common- Desperation and panic cannot begin to describe The depth of the dark cave of unfitting enclosure In which our brightly vibes of body and mind find ourselves in. We ****** and thrash ourselves in a suicidal manner against the bars, We refuse food and drink in silent protest and rebellion, And then beg and plead with our captors to be let free at last, Wondering why, the hummingbird and I, deserve to suffer. What did we do? Claustrophobia is a serious issue. And it does not have to be in the form of a cage. And it chokes. Hummingbirds are delicate creatures. If you squeeze too tightly, their eyes will bulge out of their skull, And their heart will race to extreme measures, Until they are crushed and are no more, Leaving the captor’s hands wet and sopping With blood and guts and feathers. Please do not crush me.
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I must protect The children The field ends Where the cliff begins I must protect them From The phony Sense of security Where In the **** Are your parents! It’s evident This isn’t a place To play Worry not I will Stay Standing Life Guard An Angel Life Guardian Angel Full of faults And faith Who’ll never earn his wings I bring peace To the underlings Even if Heaven sits Above my reach So it’s My job To teach Beseeched By the leech As these Phonies speak My ears failed To understand Their fairy tales “Santa Clause is NOT REAL!!!” Is the only clause That’s real And it brings the gift Of truth Death’s unknown to us all A fall From this cliff Is not a promise Of bliss Darkness, most likely After a painful Crash Smash And pass over Into the ash So live long The song will end And never replay You’ll reap What lays at the end So sow Until the final blow Let your lows Lift you Higher than the skies Spend Not a moment in life Down Because there’s enough Down To go around Once you’re Beneath the ground The sound Of infinite silence Will ring loud So enjoy the sweetness Before the Bitter taste Ensues Life Is meaningless I mean Life’s meaning is less Than what’s expected The meaning of death Is too mean To fathom Manically depressed About death We’ve repressed The memories Of what is was it use to be Like Before life So we lie About the future Listen To no one! But yourself The harsh truth Can uplift But until you reach a wise age I’ll protect you From the cliffs...
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Oct 30, 2010
Oct 30, 2010 at 4:25 PM UTC
The Catcher In The Rye
I must protect The children The field ends Where the cliff begins I must protect them From The phony Sense of security Where In the **** Are your parents! It’s evident This isn’t a place To play Worry not I will Stay Standing Life Guard An Angel Life Guardian Angel Full of faults And faith Who’ll never earn his wings I bring peace To the underlings Even if Heaven sits Above my reach So it’s My job To teach Beseeched By the leech As these Phonies speak My ears failed To understand Their fairy tales “Santa Clause is NOT REAL!!!” Is the only clause That’s real And it brings the gift Of truth Death’s unknown to us all A fall From this cliff Is not a promise Of bliss Darkness, most likely After a painful Crash Smash And pass over Into the ash So live long The song will end And never replay You’ll reap What lays at the end So sow Until the final blow Let your lows Lift you Higher than the skies Spend Not a moment in life Down Because there’s enough Down To go around Once you’re Beneath the ground The sound Of infinite silence Will ring loud So enjoy the sweetness Before the Bitter taste Ensues Life Is meaningless I mean Life’s meaning is less Than what’s expected The meaning of death Is too mean To fathom Manically depressed About death We’ve repressed The memories Of what is was it use to be Like Before life So we lie About the future Listen To no one! But yourself The harsh truth Can uplift But until you reach a wise age I’ll protect you From the cliffs...
Continue reading...
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