I put on a cutesy voice because I’m the unexpected murderer of happiness. It makes more of an impact acting like a dumb blonde ***** to society’s expectations, that when I come out with ****** methods one wants to scream and run away. I’ll tell you what makes me squirm, being touched and googling fear of holes. Those pictures make me want to ***** and **** myself at the same time. Gore and pain…I can handle. But loads of deep circular imprints on the skin from leaning on things…no.no.no. I can’t. It will make me implode.

More than just kawaii desu
More than nico nico ni
And senpai noticing me
You are the reason my heart goes doki doki

More than the final rasengan
More than the last hurrah
And all the power needed for a kamehameha
You give me strength when all hope is gone

More than just friendly rivalries
More than swimming medley relays
And underdog hero clichés
You help me be the best I can be always

With Moon Prism Power
I’ll transform right before your eyes
Into a weeb like no other
You bring me joy before I even realize

I fangirl (too much) over
-cute guys (my god them hormones though >~<) (and mainly kiyuki cx)
-awesome anime/manga
-kawaii fluff
-books
-most stuff XD

The Wall Walker
and smooth talker
he, being a ticked off ****** with a knife,
is mostly mole faced
but with an incredible grasp on spacial relations
mysterious mister stalking the barfly's and time flys
endangering a species just for ***** and giggles
the great google hooligans pace rapidly
back and
frothy beer
drowned down by the river kawaii

I remember that Day when we sat
(side by side)
On those Stairs
(Waiting for our Train)
And you bought us Miso Soup
(It tasted like Tears)

The Sun hit my legs
(With all the force of sepia toned Nostalgia)
Covering them, bathing them. glorifying.
The traffic was the push and pull
(To and fro, magnetising, Synchronising)
Of waves.
Harsh, solid, mechanical waves
(Full of the force of Human Atrocity)

Japanese Culture was "in" and everything was "kawaii" and sweet
(With the underlying disturbance of Sexualisation - *** takes pride of place in our Civilisation)

I thought I was eating the sea.
(I could see the tiny fish Nibbling us that time we went snorkelling. We saw a Sting Ray that reminded us of Steve Irwin: Danger; Barbed Wire)

The Snow-flakes
(Fish-flakes)
Swirling in the snow globe of my Polystyrene Cup
(A new kind of Fish Bowl, A new Exposure)
And they swam around and around, Hiding
(Cyclical, controlled by Lunar Activity. Natural?)

If I stared hard enough I would, no, could see myself
(Floating, Filleted)
Amongst those Ribbons of Sea ****.
With each Salty slurp
(That tasted of you, of the bitter Crust that Crowns your body in Heat)
I expected saltier Bladders to Burst in my Mouth
(Drowning me in Poison; Poisson)

I imagined the Japanese fisherman Catching Sun-Warmed Sea
(In a Polystyrene Cup)
The thousands of fish, tiny eyes that Blink, tiny gills that Palpitate - Suffocating in Air
(Aboard his boat, that Famed boat: "Daigo Fukuryu Maru")
Harvesting Silken Strands of Sea **** that Clung to its Crate
(In the same way that his Wife's Freshly washed Hair Twines about her Body. Static, Electric, Alive)

We didn't finish the Miso Soup;
It tasted too much of the Tears that I Cried.

It's when your stomach
hurts
and you dont remember why you were sad and
nothing is really super important
except yourself
and you just laugh because you can and the sky is so pretty
and you can feel sunshine's essence exuding from the holes in your skin
and your bones are filled with electricity
but it's rubber
and you can do anything
ANYTHING
anything because you're you and nobody else can be you
and the world is there to look at, so full of pretty things

and it doesn't matter if there's somebody or nobody or everybody by your side
because it's just that perfect moment when the love in you body is a droplet
it hits the ground and wrenches itself into shapes
patterns that coalesce
you are enraptured, the sight is burning
into your retinas the perfectional bliss that is
being
the will'o'the'wisp that is your soul entangles with the white light and branches
the creature that is imagination and folly
folly with soft ears and kawaii smirks

*****
patches of grass
the birds are landing in your branches now
congregational hazards
social anxiety
disillusioned, giving in
but you don't mind the flocking free-loaders
YOU'RE A STAR
stellar beings never slow down
for a moment
unless they are enjoying the view
witness the retching as
spectrum slideshow
the colors spill out, tumbling
across the sidewalk
out of her veins
she is god
we are free
be happy
lift your arms
be happy

Would you scratch my scalp
twirl brown speckled fingers
twixt ever-lightening
locks, me myself and I
we fight over you
give us a taste
of what we've sweat over

if what i want is on this
decreasingly fertile rock,
possibility of my painful
atrophy, isolated,
dissolves
into shimmers
that make me kawaii
when i check doppelganger
in silver glass
because you
shattered dreams sprinkled
iridescent on bronze ivory

glitter blush for the creature
(in some other word or two,
you're my breaking point)

she pulls up to school with
the short jean skirt that she begged
her mother for
with knee-high socks and tall white chucks

she’s got an
overripe peach logo on her
faded off white shirt
which she tucked in after she got into homeroom..




this was it
the first year..
only three more to go..

the s-curve of the soft **** in the bathtub

wrapt around one leg
and pressed against the hideous yellow
ceramic.
the water is turned up too hot
it rinses over the back like a failed ritual
,the sins will not be washed clean
,no one will be forgiven

hair is only pushed around in patterns
around the body  from the dripping
flow .
art is not seen or remembered
amidst
the dangers of winding down for the evening

i'm 7 1/2 inches  old. 8  by you.left. a film on me
like melatonin.leaking outside of it.vocaloid choaking. kawaii grunge in the  
waterlogged
meniscus.my genocide- your ears.ihate the way it ran
down the wall then.   better.if i crouch inside your cradleface18+ years
ago. like an inflammation.    you qualify for
recursion_  
like the newer- more appealing nightterrors.we escape      certain
allegories. by gutting them. filigree-
whipped outside.to punish the exhibitionist inside: your lanky breathing.i am tired of borrowing your guilt      i must be good.you
think.i break my wrist.
we.




anyways,.

By Arcassin Burnham

The sun , the stars are always happy seeing your face in astonishing
When your excited Just for a minute,
I'm all out of puns , but now i just got bad jokes , I'll use they're times
Wisely, just for a minute,
I'm was always on some kind of medication spazzing out and bumming
but only just For a minute,
And through it all you stood by me with guardian-like intentions with
All your fears and hopes just for a minute,

Randomly assigned to make you laugh at every aspect seeing as
You have a hard time at school with kids and grades,
Kawaii nails for grabs and the girls really liked your style,
May have a lot on my plate too but I like your smile,
Trancish features , even all your teachers think your beautiful,
Sitting on the bleachers , not knowing that it's my heart that you
Really stole.



/


Scratching wood does not remind me , of your,
Squeamish Skin when I touch,
Don't think of you as a trophy, cause I'm,
Living , living in your love,
Two days would pass by me love , but it wouldn't,
Stop me from dreaming you,
Tree carvings wouldn't be the only, cause,
The cause of feeling blue,

Could ya , could ya , be a , be a,
Everything that I've been hoping for,

I could  be ya , I could , I could , be ya,
Everything forever and more,
Could ya , could ya , be a , be a,
Everything that I've been hoping for,

I could  be ya , I could , I could , be ya,
Everything forever and more,


Breaking all this silence between us,
Boring all these trees.

bells* is the only cheap whiskey at £14.99
(why the 99 though? penny short or something?)
that actually tastes like whiskey,
the husky smoked taste of it,
you're pretty much drinking acorns
by the end of it... the husky smoked
taste of it... all the other stuff
is just alcohol, you're not there
for the aesthetics, the flight to Bombay
via Dubai (potato, tomato, bomb bye bye i
due an A.I.), anyway fusion style mongrel metal,
Japanese, called kawaii
or simply cute... **** cute... well anyway
hello cannibal kitty... awadama fever... spring blossom?
i never heard of them... i'm just interested
because they mentioned a guru they called Fox God...
and the journalist just said: 'made-up'.
my encounters with foxes have been frequent...
so each godhead of the animals passes through
man, i'm facing the redcoats and hounds...
it's too impractical for monotheism...
unless you're a hammer, or a *****, or a chisel -
who ever heard of a myth about such things
unless not attempting to invoke Thor?
anyway... Moses... yeah, that one... he wasn't
a godhead... he was female genitalia...
no prince, whether in egypt or elsewhere spoke
the tongue of construction workers...
Harry... Philip... William? none spoke Polish...
so Moses didn't speak Hebrew...
i really would like the risotto... ah ****... the Rosetta stone
applied to the old testimony... i don't
care for the new testimony... it's too Byzantine,
which isn't even Greek.

the competition is fierce

korea vs germany
just like the world cup
which korea won
i had sooo much chicken

korea brings classic
street food blood sausage
and spicy rice cakes
and fried dumplings just like in seoul

germany brings
kartoffelkloesse
bratwurst sausage
and spätzle

britian vs mexico
some quality smelling
smells that i smell
food times

britian cam with
fish and chips (ofc)
clam chowder
and the dinner-breakfast

mexico time
burritos and
tamales and
pozole galore

canada vs america
here we go
the canada and
south canada

canada arrives with
poutine (and lots of it)
wait,,, is that the only
thing you brought?

the rules were
to bring three dishes
my friend.
idiote

america arrives with
a burger w/ a side of fries
and thats it.
I SWEAR TO GOD-

nihon vs zhonggou
let's go
the asain super powers
anime vs cHiNA

kawaii uwu japan
brings three bentos
with OCTODOGS
YOOOOOOO

made in china
general tso
orange chicken
and mapo tofu

conclusion:
this is a who will win
whos gonna win
i need to go to the gym

It came from an accident.

From two people who met, loved, and sputtered out.

It came from adoption. From a family in the suburbs around Philadelphia.

And it came from Nowhere, as my brain put out feelers around her
and learned she was real.

It came from Fantasia-- from classical dinosaurs, and from Mickey Mouse with little dancing brooms, and from a line that vibrated with the music.

It came from Love, a word I learned.

It came from feeling like the weird kid in school.

It came from chorus, learning trumpet, and Boy Scouts.

From losing young friends and Sugar We're Going down coming on mtv2.

It came from nooks and crannies and trinkets from my life I am sweeping by and not mentioning.

It came from confusing therapy appointments and being told to take medication.

It came from my first guitar at age thirteen.

From losing control and breaking everything in my house and going to a mental health clinic. From cutting myself because I don't know, other people did it and I'm sad.

It came from puppy love with this cute girl who was pretty averse to me at first. And from sneaking over her house when no one was home.

And it came from identifying myself as a poet, songwriter, a kawaii emo kid who could hang with anyone (but maybe not some of the popular kids).

It came from being arrested for trespassing on accident, not believed, and then put on probation. It came from sleeping in past the bus and then being sent to juvenile hall for truancy. It came from a burning hatred for authority that hurt my life for no reason.

It came from feeling mishandled by my parents but also whiny and unable to stop whining.

It came from Latin class and AP English and Music Theory classes, and my high school sweetheart who is forever my personal Goddess of Music. But I don't think about her much anymore.

It came from feeling self-conscious about being a slow reader.

It came from seeing myself as an intellectual, and from being watched all the time by the government.

It came from starting to realize my brain gets depressed, grandiose, understands the world through fixations, and is sort of a lopsided brain.

It came from high school antics, starting to smoke ****, and becoming interested in the truth about drugs.

It came from starting to realize I was way too invested in these girls, and wow I really let myself become a **** sometimes.

It came from going away to college in the middle of Pennsylvania.

It came from an interest in psychedelics and probably overdoing it a bit and an incident where I hit my head that really had me spinning for a while.

It came from dropping out of Bloomsburg.

It came from starting to feel like I should know what I'm doing by now and for the first time, feeling like an adult lost in the world.

It came from going back to school and meeting a cute older girl who was Scandinavian and new and exciting.

It came from living like a rock star in a college town, delivering food and going where the **** I wanted when I wanted.

It came from my last time losing my **** over this girl. From realizing I am in control of how I react, and finally developing a callus.

It came from a very bipolar drive to Miami and back to Pennsylvania without looking into any new places like I planned.

It came from having to live back home with my bad memories. From an uncharacteristic DUI and banging my head in the cop car until it bled.

It came from getting another DUI for **** because my headlight was out and I got pulled over, but I was driving perfectly.

It came from having to be involved with the law again, and being depressed about that girl, cutting myself and admitting myself to the mental clinic.

It came from my parents really getting on my nerves, and it's not just me.

It came from losing my temper and breaking the TV and my dad's windshield with a baseball bat.

It came from not being allowed back home after admitting myself to the mental clinic again, from being set up with a room in the next town only to have it be destroyed by strangers and kicked out.

It came from living with a new friend, partying all the time, selling **** for money, and living in hotels.

It came from having to get away from all that and working hard as a landscaper. From patching things up and moving back home.

It came from losing probably my tenth job because I didn't show up, and getting depressed again.

It came from throwing that shoe at the wall. From my dad coming downstairs and me yelling at him to shut the ******* door. From my brother being rightfully angry at me because I'd been a **** and throwing his iHome at the ground.

It came from my parents calling the police on me when I was on probation.

It came from de-escalating, talking to the cops, and then using my coping skills and riding my bike after that, but it came from finding my tires slashed and failing myself, storming off and busting things up (only insured things) with rocks.

It came from the police surrounding my house and taking me off to jail, from that being the last time I'd ever see grandpop alive. We caught you on surveillance.

It came from five hard months in the county jail feeling very scared and not treated with justice at all. Except I thought maybe God is treating me with justice.

It came from re-assessing myself and taking some time to breathe.

It came from being locked up again two months after that for smoking ****, for a month and a half long sentence.

It came from behavioral health court, which promised to lower my charge from a felony if I passed this very strict program for a year.

It came from only being able to let it go about 50% of the time and from deep resentment for my parents built up over the years.

It came from being accused of doing opiates when I didn't, and from being reprimanded for not trying hard enough when in truth I was. It came from my psychiatrist is on vacation, and that's why she isn't answering. It came from I know myself, and I don't need medication.

It came from even deeper anger at the system but now I'm an adult. And it seriously helps some of these people, and they really do care I guess.

It came from not being sure if I'm trying my hardest but I'm going to apply here and work on something today.

It came from feeling like a complicated mess no one wants to listen to.

It came from getting up early every day to see if I have a drug test and biking through the freezing cold to make the bus if I do.

It came from love, that's a word I learned.

I like how you play with alaysha
And help your brother with his homework
That you are patient with me
And that you see the beauty in your mother
That you'll make breafast and reteach me algebra
That you'll wait all week to play a silly game

I love how you let the world roll off your shoulders
And how you tend to forget old inconveniences

I roll my eyes but I'm glad you like
Dragonball and silk jackets and your friends' hiphop
That you point out food process machinery wherever we go
And know the model of every car on the street

I'm relieved you'll laugh at a bad pun
Let me ride shotgun, send a pic of a pug with a manbun

Dear Shueyfufu--
Keep wearing your earrings,
Be nerdy, be hood
Be Mexican and Tech all at once
Live in the Mission and hold back when the documentaries ask you to be angry about gentrification
Buy expensive mango whipped cream cakes from Dianda's
Ride a bike seat too high in Golden Gate Park
Make the sun and grass in Dolores our Sunday chapel
Think about right and wrong and God and Black Mirror society

Have mixed feelings about knock-off street clothes
Get upset that sports wear and vinyl are popular again
That underground artists aren't so underground
That it's "milennial" to hate the gap between the rich and the poor
And that battery technology is a trending dream career

Superglue your glasses together repeatedly
Squeal when my hands and feet or the toilet seat are too cold
Smile with your squinty asian eyes that aren't asian

Watch Bob's Burgers with me
And be upset everytime you realize I watched it without you
Sing "Yesterday" in the car and Vampire Weekend
Play old jazz songs and Chance and Selena
Show me music videos from Calle 13 and Danny Brown
Watch cooking shows and Vice News and Travel Vlogs
Ask Alexa if she loves you and ask her to play December 1963 in the kitchen
Tell me she's listening to everything and advertising to us based on our conversations
Give me motivation to read 1984
Laugh at slapstick gifs and blankly stare at dry British humor

Let's exclaim "Orale, ****" and complain like Brandon, "Ugh no one understands me"
Let's take Ah to the Kawaii store so she can waste money on Squishies
Let's make Brandon try more asian food and show him anime he hasn't seen
Let's dance with your mom at parties and take pictures of her all dressed up
Let's play Clue and Forbidden Island and never play monopoly or the game of life ever again
Let's buy Mario Sunshine and Rock Band and a fancy bidet and eat at michelin star restaurants
Let's save a bunch of money and all go to Hawaii

Take me to the sunflower fields
With you;to that chaotic little town
at the edge of the sea
With you,to the flavescent moores for a stroll
To that ancient shrine with idols abound
Take me,to the windy seas on a sailship
To that kawaii Japanese cafè round the turn
Take me to the vintage cities and cobblestone streets
To that souvenir shop for a statuesque keepsake
With you to the mausoleum,so austere
Wreathed in silver mist
To the lovely riverside as night falls
Take me... With you
To the top of the green roof of your house
With watermelon popsicles and ice

With you,
       For a kaleidoscopic journey.

Hearts and *****
Pink so punk
Strawberry Sweetcake
but so high, so drunk!
*** and candy
Raunchy fancy
I'm a star, I'm a *****
I am something you fear
I shine - but you don't want to see

I want it all in my bag!
and in fact, I can!
Don't tell me I can't be what I want
I can be all I need

I can't put it into words
so I buy clothes
I need no speech
me as me

menhera kawaii ****** **** chick
punk kinderwhore emo with *******
I play with everything!
I know who I am
his ***** dream
and I'm loving every minute of it...
my own woman giving in to nothing
but me and my dreams
living in the clouds, writing my stuff
look at me, you don't understand what you see
do you think I care? less than you think

The little man with the blue shirt
Drinks jars of fermented **** of which he purchases online for $179
Dollars

The procured **** is sourced from the bladders of Hispanic
Gypsy kawaii Core only fans models

His only love is derived
From the stenchy
Liquer
It has notes of lavender &
Hot mustard

God is dead , but the little man
With a blue shirt
     retracts his trigger & smiles
Unmolested