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it's well lit here on a superfical level
But it's dark inside

I can't see whats in front of me
Or what's lurking in the shadows

Pretend to be asleep
The mourning is almost here
Every girl wants to be choked or roughed up a bit for the fun
as a means of mocking your primal nature
Just some fun for the ol' in out, in out
But what if i didnt let go

What if i just held on til your neck snapped away

What if what ifs
This is the sound of a well acclimated and upstanding member of society eating his öats

I spoon said öats into my esophagus
with great dexterity
   And read many instruction manuals.
I practice essentialism. I cry when i need to.
Shake hands with my spouse
I forget the point now
My biggest fear is being alone
Or ending up a loser
But both outcomes are predicated on people's perception of me

But perceptions change

If i had money I could wear a bathrobe to the store with a zebra cowboy hat
And the money would make me eccentric

$$$$ could buy an infant from a mother.

$$$$ could buy you a liver from a healthy farmboy in peru

$$$$$ could buy you tickets to a ******
Thats all that matters in this shitshow.
Your personality is irrelevant
They want what youve got
They dont want you
Was it love

Does a child love his imaginary friend.

It was real

You made me cry when i was all alone
And the knife pressed even deeper

I couldn't face the day knowing I hurt
nobody but static air
I lost all sanity then
And you just laughed, and i just turned out the light and walked towards anywhere

at the point of giving no *****
Im a lost cause
I need community
and belonging

Im severed from my tribe
a talking head with a lizard brain
hopscotching over coals

The hardest part is going on when you've already made your grave

Are there still beautiful things

speeding towards the window
    firecrackers in delighted limbo

I had no mail
but the trash you sent me
You want me gone
So do i
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