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it's well lit here on a superfical level
But it's dark inside

I can't see whats in front of me
Or what's lurking in the shadows

Pretend to be asleep
The mourning is almost here
Every girl wants to be choked or roughed up a bit for the fun
as a means of mocking your primal nature
Just some fun for the ol' in out, in out
But what if i didnt let go

What if i just held on til your neck snapped away

What if what ifs
This is the sound of a well acclimated and upstanding member of society eating his öats

I spoon said öats into my esophagus
with great dexterity
   And read many instruction manuals.
I practice essentialism. I cry when i need to.
Shake hands with my spouse
I forget the point now
My biggest fear is being alone
Or ending up a loser
But both outcomes are predicated on people's perception of me

But perceptions change

If i had money I could wear a bathrobe to the store with a zebra cowboy hat
And the money would make me eccentric

$$$$ could buy an infant from a mother.

$$$$ could buy you a liver from a healthy farmboy in peru

$$$$$ could buy you tickets to a ******
Thats all that matters in this shitshow.
Your personality is irrelevant
They want what youve got
They dont want you
Was it love

Does a child love his imaginary friend.

It was real

You made me cry when i was all alone
And the knife pressed even deeper

I couldn't face the day knowing I hurt
nobody but static air
I lost all sanity then
And you just laughed, and i just turned out the light and walked towards anywhere







.
at the point of giving no *****
Im a lost cause
I need community
and belonging

Im severed from my tribe
a talking head with a lizard brain
hopscotching over coals

The hardest part is going on when you've already made your grave

Are there still beautiful things
0900099

speeding towards the window
    firecrackers in delighted limbo

I had no mail
but the trash you sent me
You want me gone
So do i
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