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Courtney O Dec 2020
you hate us when we don't abide
you hate us when we do what you don't like
when reality is - you don't have our eyes
and despite your efforts, they shine

They wanted to **** us because
like a mirror to their hidden wrongs,
we showed them their own scars and burns

you robbed us from us
and you punished us with death
cloaked as care
and those who did, weren't there
They didn't get the gist, I guess
if only love here had crept -

why you deem me unworthy to be lived?
you don't know my Sun, how it is related
to my tears
You don't ******* know me, or what goes within
you take my words from my lips and twist it at your whim

if only love had appeared in the scene
not your weak, dispossesed pity, but a strong warmth feel

psychiatric care inmates, my dears
we are in the same ship
the only way out of here,
the way out from this ****,
is to show ourselves
we still live, we are here
take over their boring streets

You say we aren't human, sure we aren't.
We are the superhumans you were looking for,
but turns out, you were ******* blind.

We'll haunt you, those of us who got killed
by your cold hand, but many of us are still there
and better yet - Don't mourn us.
Just go out on the street and scream out, get drunk,
live up, recklessly ****,
the way we couldn't, for our mouths were shut down.
I wrote this poem after hearing a podcast where they discuss the new euthanasia law in my country, Spain. This law has some serious problems and it made me think of eugenics, like aktion t4, and also the constant struggle of us mentally ill people for simply being alive, in all senses of the word.
Courtney O Dec 2020
She's a big ****** from somewhere else
Look at her hair and her UFO dress
She breathes bountiful chaos
listen to her gleeful wails!
Distilling her pain into yet unheard yells
Will she get what she craves, what she deserves?

Not many letters for her address
(she has my 2 cents)
No big names, the fame?
hasn't come yet
She's a gem
because no one found her yet
She needs no polishing; she's so raw
let her stay
She's a story of her own, even if she fails
Beauty of losing, it never breaks
Courtney O Dec 2020
This beast inside - hungry for fame!
(hungry for something that won't fill her chest
because she's empty and
she only wants to get ahead)
won't get her way - I am not allowing her

in my creation, she's the shade
she ***** the blood out of everyone -
but mostly herself
she's drained, she craves

this beast inside - **** her with kindness
she's only just there - accept her today
she aches, too
A poem about the cut-throat side of me. And how to cope with her.
Courtney O Dec 2020
We are the weird recepcionists!
Sassy, strange flair - for your clean office!
Wild flowers - in a vase
Shape-shifting - for the day

Thinking about God,
thinking about it all
when I am in my own
Your chit chat makes me mad
But I am a mingling alien lass

Yet - can you see me?
see me glow?
Between these post-its and receipts
The fireflies around here

Shape-shifting - wearing a disguise
it doesn't **** me under because I know
what it does
can you feel me? not that I care
Flowers tamed - for a portion of the day
Tamed? More like paused, in the make
Waiting to be released, to come out and play
(This is a disguise, the most comfortable
I could find, I don't dislike it. But it's not who I am)
watch me off duty, committing to myself
watch me in the desk, a confetti bomb
ticking away!
A poem about my work.
Courtney O Dec 2020
I did it to run from pain
but the pain was still there
And that's how tragedy begets
even if I was not aware
All good and all evil
come from this escapade
you get lost in a dance so intense

That dim obliterating shade
being inexistent, zero, still was there!
That dim obliterating shade
I could not bear

I did it to shut down my brain
it takes our whole lives, this running away
from the cradle to the grave
we are chasing dreams, we are escaping death
(and it is our noblest sin)
and it is right. it is fine.
Just make sure you do it okay.
Do not flee to not come back again.
It's all about reality. Make sure you stay.
In the ever Sun, in the middle lands,
a magic bolt right through your head,
do not forsake yourself

We are here to make sense
in the most ultimate way!
We lose it - thinking we will gain
Do not leave your body - rather wait
And now I admit there was a small ache,
it seems to dissolve, like wonderfully fade.
Last famous words - Let the flow overtake!
Courtney O Dec 2020
Poetry might have left me today,
but not joy, I say.
My words run dry but I bloom inside.
Poetry lives now within.
Everything clear - nothing and all to speak
Inmanent poetry - everywhere I see
Courtney O Dec 2020
Two ways to lose your head:
in joy, or in pain
Being the feverish, cheeky fool,
or indulge in
self-destructive moods!

You think it's about deep or shallow.
You are at your most profound,
when you smile wide

I know what I choose.
I don't mind madness anymore.
I mind meaningless ache.
But if I have to accept or reject,
I know what I do.
I choose midnight long talks
and a million kisses and a million hugs
I choose being too high without drugs...
I choose feeling frequencies, I choose lush
I choose losing my mind, to find me back

To be nuts till the end,
but squeezing the fruit
to lick its juice
instead of blades.
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