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everly Dec 2021
dear brain,

thank you for
giving us another day of life
it hurts when you hurt us
we didn’t do anything to you
face is beautiful the way she is
when hands hold the device
and you compare us to edited girls
you fixate on every imperfection until you convince us we’re inadequate but
when eyes look in the mirror
we convince you
we’re enough with mouth’s affirmations
we feel whole again after
dicing parts of limbs
saying you are deserving of all that is pure and good but there are but’s
tender is the skin that
still holds pencils to write poetry
and we want to eat
it feels rewarding when palms are allowed to wrap around utensils to sustain us
refreshing when stomach is full and glands produce happy hormones
please love us the way we love you


                                   from,
                                           body
everly Aug 2021
he took me to see the orchestra
i watched them while he watched me
both with eyes of awe
the synchronization of up and down bows
commanding emotion and
the harp in his chest strummed gently that evening
it hadn’t sung the way it sang that evening
i leaned towards the stage encapsulated
holding my hand he felt a sense of permanence
that if i heard the music i’d stay and the pain was worth it
and reminding him when it’s good it’s real good

he took me to see the orchestra because i played violin then
i dreamt of going back to school to practice more
i’d finger the notes under the table at dinner every night and i’d lose track of time and he noticed that and
he loved how immersed i could become once i fell in love with something
and he wanted not to wade but dive into me

he took me to see the orchestra because he loved the way i wrote then
it was complex and he didn’t understand it and it made him discontent with what he knew he appreciated how soothing and real the words felt
like running water on a cut
it was refreshing
cooling and he just wanted me to see what he heard when peering into my vessel and her prose
everly Feb 2021
she was so pretty
she sat by the edge of the pool
in her cherry-printed two-piece bathing suit
and sparkled toenails
and bitten nails
she looked familiar
with her grey goggles ****** tight on her
forehead
i peer at her and then at the pool
don’t be scared,
i always heard you feel like a fish once you start
you look like you’d be a natural
but that’s only if you give it a try..

i forced a smile back at her
breaking the gaze with the
mysterious deep blue
you don’t look like the type that would
voluntarily swim
i said
and yet here i am
she wiggled her sparkly toes triumphantly
as if being by the pool was something to be praised
it’s bad enough i was her company
we both shouldn’t have been here
i fell for her then..
not her
but what we both wanted to reach at the bottom
and we held hands and jumped together
having nothing left to fear..
sweet nothings in bitter places
everly Feb 2021
you
ive been struck by an eternal love
through every shape and form
i will love you one way or another

i love you
and out of all that i am uncertain of

this will always hold true.
everly Jan 2021
Venga told me to meet her by the rock
of peace
the rock in which we can reside
it's cool there
                            shhhh
it's cool there
thick mist surrounds us and we don’t speak
just see each other on opposite sides
deep dark waters surround us but we
keep our eyes closed so we won’t
see each others' tears absorb on our blouses
we avoid vulnerability because the feeling is so raw
pain entering in an unwarranted fashion
wading about within us breaking down what was built up
with great effort trying to push out that agonizing discomfort
with incense, scriptures, and poems
Oh my!
and the pain never leaves
just eats away at our rock
begging for it to stay intact
praying for it to not erode
forcing us to progressively
crouch then squat
stand then tippy-toe

and we gracefully anchor to the ocean floor.
everly Dec 2020
some days
my jules laughed
harder than others
and I knew she wasn't with me anymore
facing blunts more than accountability
and I watched her slip through my hands
she'd smile and it wasn't her I greeted
she became the light beam that reflects on a wall
unattainable
uncapturable
you chase it with your eyes
as it moves violently around a room
until it just dies out
and so we did
everly Dec 2020
nie
i sat on the round rug
and looked at the circle block once again
at my big age.
perplexed
i'm still trying to fit it into the square cutout
and I grow frustrated
digging into the rug
catching red stale fibers stuck underneath my nails
knowing it won't fit
but maybe it'll adjust
for me
with enough pressure
it will become malleable
when no ones watching
succumbing to my loving force
with gentle tact
it would change
maybe that was where I went wrong
and so i
could be read over and over
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