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"gutters" poems
when she was eight years old she asked her mother have you seen the girl with lashes like butterflies against sharp cheekbone branches? a dandelion sprouting from sludge covered gutters and streets streets, where you feel that bitter bland nothingness in your stomach it feels buttery to stare at her: see how snow outstretches arms and twirls tippy toes, envies her grace see how balloon sized raindrops pop, target the freckles on her arm see how her forehead crinkles when she concentrates, nothing more than a beacon proclaiming she trickles with stars when she was eight years old her parent's violent protests slipped bruises under her skin like pennies in a coin slot but they could not contain the celestial girl tucked under her ribcage. she would still look at her like she was the breakfast sun on a saturday whistling by the creak, catching glimpses of dresses from behind the legs of trees. see how this is special love, sweet as strawberry fields under soft sun they would never feel on their forked, sour tongues
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Oct 15, 2017
Oct 15, 2017 at 2:35 AM UTC
When She Was Eight
It rains horizontal, not vertical, gutters of water, windows of pain. faces of humans like cats on look out, watching the bubbles as life floats by. A. J. Rain
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Mar 14, 2015
Mar 14, 2015 at 8:36 PM UTC
it rains horizontal
I dream of Ruby Bridges with diamond gutters Demarcation flows
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Oct 15, 2015
Oct 15, 2015 at 12:22 PM UTC
Common Knowledge
off the roof   like rain   from   the gutters eaves filling     with blue   berry ink i     taste     the     sweetness on the warm   tongue of     pages before     they blow away             with                   my                                                    breath                                   .
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Jan 16, 2016
Jan 16, 2016 at 12:22 PM UTC
when the words flow
*I'm a black dog with a torn heart you are carved out of light heavier then rocks my bowels a crumbling fortress dire in my emptiness you make my blood run down dark gutters to the city of your legs pooling at your soft pink feet i strain in prayer for your love a black dog in panic i run seven miles a day to **** you my body lean and wire muscle wet women look on dreaming as i search for you in their faces i run killing myself till your dead all curving sadness and broken creel a hallowed crypt of desolation you a sword through me farewell*
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Mar 7, 2018
Mar 7, 2018 at 2:15 PM UTC
Black Dog
Check back soon to resume and consume every tight-lipped, slack-jawed fool in the room. See, it's all what you know as the fires start to grow and the future burns slow. Keep your eyes on the ceiling, and your antenna feelers feelin', for when your senses stop reeling, you will finally start believing. Kick-back to the basics, not too far from the basement, and close enough to show that **** really isn't basic. It's another mid-west, ****** ******** freak show. Another evening drinking whiskey with the seedling's peep-show. So, it's time to relax and relapse into acidified broken synapse. The lights keep flickering and the couples keep bickering: ***** I am not above homicidal snickering.” I steer clear of these diversions, and wander past the sermons, just to chew up all the crooked talk and spittle out inversions. I shovel mockery to hypocrisy, pin-prick the empty ***** whose passions lack predicates, and in the background, I'll be complexifying my medic-kit: ketamine, morphine, ecstasy; marijuana, mushrooms, LSD. Watch those ******* jitter-bug college ***** procreate while sloppy drunk, but keep an honest eye on the flies that will rise above – then fall back down in existential angst, like: “Dear God, why must I be free? Oh, God! Why is every universal eye on me? I'm just another acid war veteran, sneakin' through these gutters with pestilence and bitter sin. When they reach the promised land of golden clouds and holding hands, I'll be underground with the slugs and the spider band.” Yet here I sit, sick of sippin' poisons with illiterates. So, let the skies fall and the buildings crash, as you stand on the wall with a fist full of cash. I'll be on the front lawn, picketing for dawn, while the night around me slowly ambles on.
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Aug 21, 2012
Aug 21, 2012 at 12:23 AM UTC
Kentucky Fry-day
Check back soon to resume and consume every tight-lipped, slack-jawed fool in the room. See, it's all what you know as the fires start to grow and the future burns slow. Keep your eyes on the ceiling, and your antenna feelers feelin', for when your senses stop reeling, you will finally start believing. Kick-back to the basics, not too far from the basement, and close enough to show that **** really isn't basic. It's another mid-west, ****** ******** freak show. Another evening drinking whiskey with the seedling's peep-show. So, it's time to relax and relapse into acidified broken synapse. The lights keep flickering and the couples keep bickering: ***** I am not above homicidal snickering.” I steer clear of these diversions, and wander past the sermons, just to chew up all the crooked talk and spittle out inversions. I shovel mockery to hypocrisy, pin-prick the empty ***** whose passions lack predicates, and in the background, I'll be complexifying my medic-kit: ketamine, morphine, ecstasy; marijuana, mushrooms, LSD. Watch those ******* jitter-bug college ***** procreate while sloppy drunk, but keep an honest eye on the flies that will rise above – then fall back down in existential angst, like: “Dear God, why must I be free? Oh, God! Why is every universal eye on me? I'm just another acid war veteran, sneakin' through these gutters with pestilence and bitter sin. When they reach the promised land of golden clouds and holding hands, I'll be underground with the slugs and the spider band.” Yet here I sit, sick of sippin' poisons with illiterates. So, let the skies fall and the buildings crash, as you stand on the wall with a fist full of cash. I'll be on the front lawn, picketing for dawn, while the night around me slowly ambles on.
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51
Rugby town, of landlocked streets, of wasted field and barefaced retreat; I miss you now, in absence of a friend, I miss you now, in the verse that I lend. Suburb grove, of sleepy mist, oh, battered housewife, oh blastocyst; you will remain in place forevermore, and forevermore, you'll become a bore. Holding cell, of sporting fame, you stole my dreams but gave me my name; I think of you: a multi-storey view, of happy faces, of which there is few. Still, my town, in debt's nightgown, the shop-fronts vacate, we're feeling down; these streets are poisoned with names of the past, each memoir to teach: nothing's built to last Rugby town, of weary folk, the private school is a private joke; I miss you now, as I sleep through the day, I miss the old walks, and all that you'd say. Old market town, the aftermath, of British summer, suicide bath; of open mics and closing the shutters, of waking graveyards, sleeping in gutters. Hopeless climbs, of dreary times, of childhood state and nursery rhymes; each time that I come home, I know you less, becoming a stranger in my redress. Clock tower, chiming, chiming loud, singing for history long and proud; of Rupert Brooke and the question: “what if?” What if I was born to some lover's tiff? To some large and friendless town, to some body of land, which I drown; to some active place of pain unknown, to some place that I'll not gauge that I've grown, oh Rugby dear, stay with me, let me live on the periphery; and although this town seems terribly dull, it could be worse – I could live in Hull.
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Mar 14, 2014
Mar 14, 2014 at 7:18 PM UTC
Rugby, Warwickshire
Rugby town, of landlocked streets, of wasted field and barefaced retreat; I miss you now, in absence of a friend, I miss you now, in the verse that I lend. Suburb grove, of sleepy mist, oh, battered housewife, oh blastocyst; you will remain in place forevermore, and forevermore, you'll become a bore. Holding cell, of sporting fame, you stole my dreams but gave me my name; I think of you: a multi-storey view, of happy faces, of which there is few. Still, my town, in debt's nightgown, the shop-fronts vacate, we're feeling down; these streets are poisoned with names of the past, each memoir to teach: nothing's built to last Rugby town, of weary folk, the private school is a private joke; I miss you now, as I sleep through the day, I miss the old walks, and all that you'd say. Old market town, the aftermath, of British summer, suicide bath; of open mics and closing the shutters, of waking graveyards, sleeping in gutters. Hopeless climbs, of dreary times, of childhood state and nursery rhymes; each time that I come home, I know you less, becoming a stranger in my redress. Clock tower, chiming, chiming loud, singing for history long and proud; of Rupert Brooke and the question: “what if?” What if I was born to some lover's tiff? To some large and friendless town, to some body of land, which I drown; to some active place of pain unknown, to some place that I'll not gauge that I've grown, oh Rugby dear, stay with me, let me live on the periphery; and although this town seems terribly dull, it could be worse – I could live in Hull.
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40
cheap makeup covered the purple marks of his "masculinity" forced upon her in the hours of coal, coldness and blame. before it got too much, I saw her stand on her tiptoes and dissolve into the night sky, into the night gutters, into the night cries, of pills, diets and mutters. and right as the moon swallowed her whole, only to spit her out onto guilt soaked mornings; she survived.
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Sep 2, 2014
Sep 2, 2014 at 11:06 AM UTC
Pretty Little Bruise
I feel as if my head is sliding off my neck like ice cream melting down the cone. I am a witch melting, shrinking smaller as my spine stacks horizontally like shiplap. My body has been refurbished into a pinball machine. Something so tiny as a silver ball destroys so much. It bullets through my body, shooting off like Cuban missiles. I feel the turmoil and chaos seeping through the gutters of this old home of bones. It's like spilled oil sludging through my blood vessels or rats scattering through a sewer, nibbling and feasting away on these muscles of mine until they are frayed like gnawed-on cable wires. At odd hours of the night when time is propelled by the safe travels of breath (that weave in and out like Victorians at a ball) from sleepy children who have yet been touched by monsters or nymphs, whereas each of my breaths steer Odysseus's weather-beaten boat through ten years of treachery. My heavy, melting head slowly sloping like clay off a bust makes its home on my dingy pillow as I lay on a prison bed with cold shackles around my ankles that make my bones shatter into a mosaic as if that could shrink my ankles so I can slip out. I feel like a chained hawk at these hours of the night when I just want to fly until I screech to a halt and flail over the cliff that waterfalls into the ends of the universe. I'd be reluctant at first, perhaps, but what other escape does one have other than to make an autopsist's Y-incision on one's body, then slip out like a hermit crab freeing himself from his heavy shell? Embarking onto a new dimension where there's hope for a radical swap of atoms that don't shape a crippled, deteriorating human is the only choice when you want to live a life other than what you were cursed with. May we then find peace and live as naked souls bearing no heavy shells.
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Jul 7, 2017
Jul 7, 2017 at 4:53 AM UTC
to be without shell
I feel as if my head is sliding off my neck like ice cream melting down the cone. I am a witch melting, shrinking smaller as my spine stacks horizontally like shiplap. My body has been refurbished into a pinball machine. Something so tiny as a silver ball destroys so much. It bullets through my body, shooting off like Cuban missiles. I feel the turmoil and chaos seeping through the gutters of this old home of bones. It's like spilled oil sludging through my blood vessels or rats scattering through a sewer, nibbling and feasting away on these muscles of mine until they are frayed like gnawed-on cable wires. At odd hours of the night when time is propelled by the safe travels of breath (that weave in and out like Victorians at a ball) from sleepy children who have yet been touched by monsters or nymphs, whereas each of my breaths steer Odysseus's weather-beaten boat through ten years of treachery. My heavy, melting head slowly sloping like clay off a bust makes its home on my dingy pillow as I lay on a prison bed with cold shackles around my ankles that make my bones shatter into a mosaic as if that could shrink my ankles so I can slip out. I feel like a chained hawk at these hours of the night when I just want to fly until I screech to a halt and flail over the cliff that waterfalls into the ends of the universe. I'd be reluctant at first, perhaps, but what other escape does one have other than to make an autopsist's Y-incision on one's body, then slip out like a hermit crab freeing himself from his heavy shell? Embarking onto a new dimension where there's hope for a radical swap of atoms that don't shape a crippled, deteriorating human is the only choice when you want to live a life other than what you were cursed with. May we then find peace and live as naked souls bearing no heavy shells.
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1
Fingers cut palms as hands turn to stone And a catapult hurls the projectile home Knuckles collapse from bone meeting bone Down in the alleys where miscreants roam Suggestions of violence fill gutters with blood Fill heads with the sense of nefarious thrill Their skin turns to ash and their brains into mud Rage in the kingdom of eager to **** The children are soldiers who train everyday Cowboys and Indians, Robbers and Cops ****** is plot and the actors will play Portraying the place life will come to a stop Violence is cancer, and love is no more Edge of our seats waiting for the next war Dedicated to the deceased and forgotten, Love and Peace
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Oct 5, 2013
Oct 5, 2013 at 11:34 PM UTC
Violence, a sonnet
We are protected from so much pain. For example: graves. The earth’s roots and brown-black blood are busy covering the soft, violated bodies of our loves. Death is a secret, and the rain with its many hands washes off the streets to the gutters death’s thick surprise. The automatic shutter of the eye never fails, the courtesies of the tongue. What goes on in the rooms of houses is guarded from us by the hardwood doors, the carefully closed windows. Whatever was said or done, night will come, eagerly, to clean up. And death will shield us, in time, from the sun’s megalithic promise: Tomorrow, the same day. Tomorrow, the same day. For example: A flower is the most beautiful lie.
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Jan 31, 2013
Jan 31, 2013 at 10:26 AM UTC
"For Example, A Flower" By Arkaye Kierulf
The squirrels played havoc around the house, picking stuffing from the porch swing, packing it into their cheeks, until they were swollen, pregnant, to fluff their nests with synthetic cotton. They bounded about the yard stopping to squeeze fallen walnuts, like supermarket melons, to see if they were ripe or rotten. Their neighbors, the gopher and raccoon and rabbit were overrun by the squirrels myriad brood. Some (squirrels) sought refuge in refuse, chewing large holes in the trash bins. This would feed many a raccoon’s hungry mouth, but none of them would show thanks. When the numbers began to spill over from the trees, the squirrels began occupying the gutters, causing sheets of ice to cataract, frozen down the sides of the house, and then when the old man found stuffing from his swing in the attic, enough had become enough. Something had to be done. This blatant malfeasance must be dealt with, and so he would devise a plan, a trap. The old man stood watching the plump little devils bounce and leap around his yard, when he saw the bin. And wriggling the fingers on his upturned paw, a sinister plan curled onto his face in a dark smile. He went out to the trash bin and filled it with water, only halfway, no more. He dropped a lightly pumped, bald basketball into the bin, and smiled when the first squirrel drowned in it. Everyday, the old man wriggled his fingers and smiled his dark smile, until he found synthetic swing stuffing in his bed, and realized he had lost.
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Oct 1, 2012
Oct 1, 2012 at 1:07 PM UTC
The Battle of Squirrel Cheek
The squirrels played havoc around the house, picking stuffing from the porch swing, packing it into their cheeks, until they were swollen, pregnant, to fluff their nests with synthetic cotton. They bounded about the yard stopping to squeeze fallen walnuts, like supermarket melons, to see if they were ripe or rotten. Their neighbors, the gopher and raccoon and rabbit were overrun by the squirrels myriad brood. Some (squirrels) sought refuge in refuse, chewing large holes in the trash bins. This would feed many a raccoon’s hungry mouth, but none of them would show thanks. When the numbers began to spill over from the trees, the squirrels began occupying the gutters, causing sheets of ice to cataract, frozen down the sides of the house, and then when the old man found stuffing from his swing in the attic, enough had become enough. Something had to be done. This blatant malfeasance must be dealt with, and so he would devise a plan, a trap. The old man stood watching the plump little devils bounce and leap around his yard, when he saw the bin. And wriggling the fingers on his upturned paw, a sinister plan curled onto his face in a dark smile. He went out to the trash bin and filled it with water, only halfway, no more. He dropped a lightly pumped, bald basketball into the bin, and smiled when the first squirrel drowned in it. Everyday, the old man wriggled his fingers and smiled his dark smile, until he found synthetic swing stuffing in his bed, and realized he had lost.
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30
. Watching the rise and the fall of a kingdom Walls once rebuilt again tumble the ground Allowing the beasties free reign in the village Bellowing out o’er the wickedest sound Pacing the streets, seeking out bits of garbage Leaving their stains on the innocent few Leering in windows where children are hiding Tender young things and so easy to chew Thieves in the night lurk about come the morning Stealing the sun at the break of the dawn Drinking of sewage a’ flow in the gutters Checking off names as the many are gone Peering ‘round corners, down alleys, in shadows Seeking the favor of all who do grieve Laughing in spite of the torment now growing Licking their lips in the hope you believe Roaming in groups so the followed outnumber Say what you will for the king does not hear Lost in his throne made of mirrors that flatter Shivering, cowering, caving to fear Deaf to the villagers asking for reason Blind to the pillage befalling this land Dumb, well I guess that just goes without saying Nary a care what the people demand Feasting on turkey, potatoes and gravy Raising a glass to the enemy proud Taking a stand against those who support him Locking the front doors while yelling aloud ***“Carry your torches, your pitchforks, your honor It matters not for this evil shall win Even when gone there are echoes of anger Lingering on till they come back again Give them your all, what you’ve poured your heart into Down on your knees, bow to them one and all Step over rock and the piles of rubble This castle will stand even when the walls fall Shout all you like as no change is forthcoming Accept it or flee, you think I give a **** When you are gone many more will replace you Now pass those peas and a slice of that ham”*** So roam the beasties, their teeth ever sharpened Fanning the flames as so many are burned Tearing apart what the people envisioned Silly to think that they somehow had learned Nothing so happy with no ever after Always the same, it will happen again But unlike some other long winded stories Sadly in this I can not say “the end” Watching the rise and the fall of a kingdom Walls once rebuilt again tumble the ground Thankfully I can peruse from a distance Witnessing all without hanging around
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Jul 8, 2016
Jul 8, 2016 at 9:25 AM UTC
Nothing so happy with no ever after
. Watching the rise and the fall of a kingdom Walls once rebuilt again tumble the ground Allowing the beasties free reign in the village Bellowing out o’er the wickedest sound Pacing the streets, seeking out bits of garbage Leaving their stains on the innocent few Leering in windows where children are hiding Tender young things and so easy to chew Thieves in the night lurk about come the morning Stealing the sun at the break of the dawn Drinking of sewage a’ flow in the gutters Checking off names as the many are gone Peering ‘round corners, down alleys, in shadows Seeking the favor of all who do grieve Laughing in spite of the torment now growing Licking their lips in the hope you believe Roaming in groups so the followed outnumber Say what you will for the king does not hear Lost in his throne made of mirrors that flatter Shivering, cowering, caving to fear Deaf to the villagers asking for reason Blind to the pillage befalling this land Dumb, well I guess that just goes without saying Nary a care what the people demand Feasting on turkey, potatoes and gravy Raising a glass to the enemy proud Taking a stand against those who support him Locking the front doors while yelling aloud ***“Carry your torches, your pitchforks, your honor It matters not for this evil shall win Even when gone there are echoes of anger Lingering on till they come back again Give them your all, what you’ve poured your heart into Down on your knees, bow to them one and all Step over rock and the piles of rubble This castle will stand even when the walls fall Shout all you like as no change is forthcoming Accept it or flee, you think I give a **** When you are gone many more will replace you Now pass those peas and a slice of that ham”*** So roam the beasties, their teeth ever sharpened Fanning the flames as so many are burned Tearing apart what the people envisioned Silly to think that they somehow had learned Nothing so happy with no ever after Always the same, it will happen again But unlike some other long winded stories Sadly in this I can not say “the end” Watching the rise and the fall of a kingdom Walls once rebuilt again tumble the ground Thankfully I can peruse from a distance Witnessing all without hanging around
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53
Go to sleep—though of course you will not— to tideless waves thundering slantwise against strong embankments, rattle and swish of spray dashed thirty feet high, caught by the lake wind, scattered and strewn broadcast in over the steady car rails! Sleep, sleep! Gulls’ cries in a wind-gust broken by the wind; calculating wings set above the field of waves breaking. Go to sleep to the lunge between foam-crests, refuse churned in the recoil. Food! Food! Offal! Offal! that holds them in the air, wave-white for the one purpose, feather upon feather, the wild chill in their eyes, the hoarseness in their voices— sleep, sleep . . . Gentlefooted crowds are treading out your lullaby. Their arms nudge, they brush shoulders, hitch this way then that, mass and surge at the crossings— lullaby, lullaby! The wild-fowl police whistles, the enraged roar of the traffic, machine shrieks: it is all to put you to sleep, to soften your limbs in relaxed postures, and that your head slip sidewise, and your hair loosen and fall over your eyes and over your mouth, brushing your lips wistfully that you may dream, sleep and dream— A black fungus springs out about the lonely church doors— sleep, sleep. The Night, coming down upon the wet boulevard, would start you awake with his message, to have in at your window. Pay no heed to him. He storms at your sill with cooings, with gesticulations, curses! You will not let him in. He would keep you from sleeping. He would have you sit under your desk lamp brooding, pondering; he would have you slide out the drawer, take up the ornamented dagger and handle it. It is late, it is nineteen-nineteen— go to sleep, his cries are a lullaby; his jabbering is a sleep-well-my-baby; he is a crackbrained messenger. The maid waking you in the morning when you are up and dressing, the rustle of your clothes as you raise them— it is the same tune. At table the cold, greeninsh, split grapefruit, its juice on the tongue, the clink of the spoon in your coffee, the toast odors say it over and over. The open street-door lets in the breath of the morning wind from over the lake. The bus coming to a halt grinds from its sullen brakes— lullaby, lullaby. The crackle of a newspaper, the movement of the troubled coat beside you— sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep . . . It is the sting of snow, the burning liquor of the moonlight, the rush of rain in the gutters packed with dead leaves: go to sleep, go to sleep. And the night passes—and never passes—
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4k
A Goodnight
Go to sleep—though of course you will not— to tideless waves thundering slantwise against strong embankments, rattle and swish of spray dashed thirty feet high, caught by the lake wind, scattered and strewn broadcast in over the steady car rails! Sleep, sleep! Gulls’ cries in a wind-gust broken by the wind; calculating wings set above the field of waves breaking. Go to sleep to the lunge between foam-crests, refuse churned in the recoil. Food! Food! Offal! Offal! that holds them in the air, wave-white for the one purpose, feather upon feather, the wild chill in their eyes, the hoarseness in their voices— sleep, sleep . . . Gentlefooted crowds are treading out your lullaby. Their arms nudge, they brush shoulders, hitch this way then that, mass and surge at the crossings— lullaby, lullaby! The wild-fowl police whistles, the enraged roar of the traffic, machine shrieks: it is all to put you to sleep, to soften your limbs in relaxed postures, and that your head slip sidewise, and your hair loosen and fall over your eyes and over your mouth, brushing your lips wistfully that you may dream, sleep and dream— A black fungus springs out about the lonely church doors— sleep, sleep. The Night, coming down upon the wet boulevard, would start you awake with his message, to have in at your window. Pay no heed to him. He storms at your sill with cooings, with gesticulations, curses! You will not let him in. He would keep you from sleeping. He would have you sit under your desk lamp brooding, pondering; he would have you slide out the drawer, take up the ornamented dagger and handle it. It is late, it is nineteen-nineteen— go to sleep, his cries are a lullaby; his jabbering is a sleep-well-my-baby; he is a crackbrained messenger. The maid waking you in the morning when you are up and dressing, the rustle of your clothes as you raise them— it is the same tune. At table the cold, greeninsh, split grapefruit, its juice on the tongue, the clink of the spoon in your coffee, the toast odors say it over and over. The open street-door lets in the breath of the morning wind from over the lake. The bus coming to a halt grinds from its sullen brakes— lullaby, lullaby. The crackle of a newspaper, the movement of the troubled coat beside you— sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep . . . It is the sting of snow, the burning liquor of the moonlight, the rush of rain in the gutters packed with dead leaves: go to sleep, go to sleep. And the night passes—and never passes—
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56
My voice Was the highest soprano in the choir And I was well past puberty. My chest may never be As flat as yours, My shoulders will always be Slimmer and daintier, My waist tucks in and allows for Hips, Hips that make me cringe with every ******* breath Some days. I will never have That bulge between my legs That you so wrongly call manhood. I lack the things you tell me Make someone a boy, And sometimes I even lack the guts To disagree with you; But **** if that makes it alright to throw me in gutters, Beat me up behind smokey dive bars, Yell at me on the city bus, Take away my ******* humanity. Because I am a boy. I am a ******* human.
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Jun 1, 2015
Jun 1, 2015 at 9:40 PM UTC
I Am Angry
Everywhere, on the sidewalks, in the gutters, right outside my door. Flourishing in the streets of Tegucigalpa, like leftover confetti from Mardi Gras. Lining the paths, nestled in the gravel, the broken concrete, and overgrown weeds. Coloring the landscape with orange and green. Proliferating around garbage cans, discarded bottles, tires, and take out boxes, liberated to the acrid landscape around.    Men, cutting back the peels, devouring the tropical flesh, delectable, united to pits. Dark skin and eyes, their accents singing, so different from my own. I stepped carefully, but always underneath, a sweet stickness, clinging to my soles. A bond to the red dirt, platanos fritos, and cattle roaming the street. When I returned to the wide boulevards, pristine and meticulously clean, I stopped watching my feet, looking for mango peels underneath.
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Jan 17, 2019
Jan 17, 2019 at 3:04 PM UTC
Mango peels
My eyes, python-like, swallow the sky, greedy for the wrongs in me to go right at the sight of your gleeful greenery spilling over creek beds and hills. The wind, combing out my worries, blowing away the blockage built by the fumes and filth collected in city gutters. I want to be let wild, made free. But one wrong turn in your winding maze and I am gone, a place like this will chew you up and spit you out. You should leave, something tells me. No one ever leaves fully intact, the longer you stay, the more you will fall apart. “On the contrary” I scoff. “I am becoming more myself, not less.” But this is what everyone says just before they leap in joyful pursuit to tumble headlong down hidden gullies. But I am more careful, I assure myself. I hunt the way crocodiles do, watching patterns with keen intention, offering my hands and eyes. But what should I do if, when the time comes, You resist? Disregard me, like an unworthy suitor? And what if that is what I am? I see, I take note of the way the wind blows and the shadows fall, the way the trees twist clockwise or counter-clockwise. The way animals flee when I approach and the way they keep perfectly still hoping they are invisible. And there are times when I see all this, and more. Like heat distortions above a fire, something peripheral or liminal, almost outside the spectrum of what can be perceived or communicated or defined. All these trails, the ones seen and unseen and the ones somewhat seen lead me to a terrible suspicion: that the likes of me lacks to tools to understand the likes of you. that in harmony with one another we would both cease to be what we are. that you will never regard me with love and worse— you will never regard me at all. Then I, in frustration, stop going with you. Start to go against you. And keep going, finally on my own. Still myself, but less.
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Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 7:23 PM UTC
Winderong
My eyes, python-like, swallow the sky, greedy for the wrongs in me to go right at the sight of your gleeful greenery spilling over creek beds and hills. The wind, combing out my worries, blowing away the blockage built by the fumes and filth collected in city gutters. I want to be let wild, made free. But one wrong turn in your winding maze and I am gone, a place like this will chew you up and spit you out. You should leave, something tells me. No one ever leaves fully intact, the longer you stay, the more you will fall apart. “On the contrary” I scoff. “I am becoming more myself, not less.” But this is what everyone says just before they leap in joyful pursuit to tumble headlong down hidden gullies. But I am more careful, I assure myself. I hunt the way crocodiles do, watching patterns with keen intention, offering my hands and eyes. But what should I do if, when the time comes, You resist? Disregard me, like an unworthy suitor? And what if that is what I am? I see, I take note of the way the wind blows and the shadows fall, the way the trees twist clockwise or counter-clockwise. The way animals flee when I approach and the way they keep perfectly still hoping they are invisible. And there are times when I see all this, and more. Like heat distortions above a fire, something peripheral or liminal, almost outside the spectrum of what can be perceived or communicated or defined. All these trails, the ones seen and unseen and the ones somewhat seen lead me to a terrible suspicion: that the likes of me lacks to tools to understand the likes of you. that in harmony with one another we would both cease to be what we are. that you will never regard me with love and worse— you will never regard me at all. Then I, in frustration, stop going with you. Start to go against you. And keep going, finally on my own. Still myself, but less.
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52
Thirteen roses in a row Red rain falls, Don't you know Down the window Pain it goes In the gutters Through the nose Where's the thunder When it flows...? *(Chorus) Wrapped around The gauze that's stained What difference snow? The same as pain When it melts It's just rain.* Withered flowers. Falling leaves. It's a howling in the eaves It's the cult the Maimed believe No one cares. No one grieves. Cover up. Long jeans & sleeves. Razors are a water slide On track like A carny ride Over arms & over thighs Release all The pain inside (Chorus) It's an ocean Where we sail A coin that can be Heads or tails A lover's letter, Or junk mail A piece of garbage. Holy grail. (Chorus) SøułSurvivør (C) 7/23/2017
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Jul 23, 2017
Jul 23, 2017 at 12:07 PM UTC
Razors & Roses
I I am in Cardiff      Where foams pummel the jetty I am in Cardiff      Where crab skeletons blanch the beach I am in Cardiff      Where the Pilot Star became a conch I was in the ruse of age      Where the young kiss I was in Joshua Tree      Where the mind is thoughtless I am a grove's wilting I will be an unbearable urge And I am shivering in Santa Ana near Bristol and 1st II There is intent when the addict mutters -- Estranged in his unhappy gutters -- "Life is cheap and love is free." Hopelessness's epitome Sits naked beyond the wall. There is derision in the dealer's call -- Osmium-heat in an unimpeded fall -- "You can't change who you are." Greed could tear down a star To sculpt into a Cardiff shell. Warrant breeds within a child's yell. III I am in Cardiff      Where foams pummel the jetty I am in Cardiff      Where crab skeletons blanch the beach I am in Cardiff      Where the Pilot Star became a conch I was in the ruse of age      Where the young kiss I was in Joshua Tree      Where the mind is thoughtless I am a grove's wilting I will be an unbearable urge And I am shivering in Santa Ana near Bristol and 1st
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Dec 27, 2012
Dec 27, 2012 at 1:44 AM UTC
I am in Cardiff (2nd Draft)
I The winter evening settles down With smell of steaks in passageways. Six o’clock. The burnt-out ends of smoky days. And now a gusty shower wraps The grimy scraps Of withered leaves about your feet And newspapers from vacant lots; The showers beat On broken blinds and chimney-pots, And at the corner of the street A lonely cab-horse steams and stamps. And then the lighting of the lamps. II The morning comes to consciousness Of faint stale smells of beer From the sawdust-trampled street With all its muddy feet that press To early coffee-stands. With the other masquerades That time resumes, One thinks of all the hands That are raising dingy shades In a thousand furnished rooms. III You tossed a blanket from the bed, You lay upon your back, and waited; You dozed, and watched the night revealing The thousand sordid images Of which your soul was constituted; They flickered against the ceiling. And when all the world came back And the light crept up between the shutters, And you heard the sparrows in the gutters, You had such a vision of the street As the street hardly understands; Sitting along the bed’s edge, where You curled the papers from your hair, Or clasped the yellow soles of feet In the palms of both soiled hands. IV His soul stretched tight across the skies That fade behind a city block, Or trampled by insistent feet At four and five and six o’clock; And short square fingers stuffing pipes, And evening newspapers, and eyes Assured of certain certainties, The conscience of a blackened street Impatient to assume the world. I am moved by fancies that are curled Around these images, and cling: The notion of some infinitely gentle Infinitely suffering thing. Wipe your hand across your mouth, and laugh; The worlds revolve like ancient women Gathering fuel in vacant lots.
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3.1k
Preludes
I The winter evening settles down With smell of steaks in passageways. Six o’clock. The burnt-out ends of smoky days. And now a gusty shower wraps The grimy scraps Of withered leaves about your feet And newspapers from vacant lots; The showers beat On broken blinds and chimney-pots, And at the corner of the street A lonely cab-horse steams and stamps. And then the lighting of the lamps. II The morning comes to consciousness Of faint stale smells of beer From the sawdust-trampled street With all its muddy feet that press To early coffee-stands. With the other masquerades That time resumes, One thinks of all the hands That are raising dingy shades In a thousand furnished rooms. III You tossed a blanket from the bed, You lay upon your back, and waited; You dozed, and watched the night revealing The thousand sordid images Of which your soul was constituted; They flickered against the ceiling. And when all the world came back And the light crept up between the shutters, And you heard the sparrows in the gutters, You had such a vision of the street As the street hardly understands; Sitting along the bed’s edge, where You curled the papers from your hair, Or clasped the yellow soles of feet In the palms of both soiled hands. IV His soul stretched tight across the skies That fade behind a city block, Or trampled by insistent feet At four and five and six o’clock; And short square fingers stuffing pipes, And evening newspapers, and eyes Assured of certain certainties, The conscience of a blackened street Impatient to assume the world. I am moved by fancies that are curled Around these images, and cling: The notion of some infinitely gentle Infinitely suffering thing. Wipe your hand across your mouth, and laugh; The worlds revolve like ancient women Gathering fuel in vacant lots.
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58
Seldom doth man stop and stare At the caste iron manhole cover there, Seldom doth he analyze The majesty, which beneath it lies. The pipe work systems vast and long Dark catacombs so precise and strong, Buried deep beneath our feet Extending forth from street to street, Out across the breadth of town Those secret fluids trickle down. Laser levels carve the pathway Through the walls of solid stone, Shovels scrape and dig with effort Forging hard trajectories home. Digging, digging metal mountains Sweat cascades upon the brow, We lay the pipes in straight formation Precision's satisfaction now. An Artisan's great work is hidden Lost beneath the earth's grey stone, Appreciation camouflaged in that, The cast iron manhole stands alone. Magnificence unrealized For deep beneath your feet, A subterranean Michelangelo's Sisteen Chapel, lays discreet. Unsuspected rivers Flowing darkly to the sea In caverns of unwanted waste Quite unbeknown to thee. Vaulting brickwork chambers Which are ancient works of art, Carry oceans of excretement Far from where their journey's start. With thunder's crash and lightning flash And torrents of cold rain, The road's awash and gutters flow Through roadside grates to drain. Gushing torrents cascade down In waves of flowing might To the storm water system Which promptly swallows it from sight. Magic, you say ? Nay, nay I say unto you That the drain layers artistry Is unappreciated, that's true ! That the Herculean effort wrought In winning his great fights Is largely lost to all and sundry Who avoid construction sites. They miss the planning and the layout And meticulousness too And the rubber seals which stop the leaks Which really bother you. The massive holes and danger Of being buried in collapse And the wondrous satisfaction Of achieving downhill flows... Perhaps! Marshalg Apprentice drain layer MHX Beachcroft site and Eastport 19 September 2009
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Jan 22, 2010
Jan 22, 2010 at 3:08 PM UTC
The Caste Iron Manhole Cover
Seldom doth man stop and stare At the caste iron manhole cover there, Seldom doth he analyze The majesty, which beneath it lies. The pipe work systems vast and long Dark catacombs so precise and strong, Buried deep beneath our feet Extending forth from street to street, Out across the breadth of town Those secret fluids trickle down. Laser levels carve the pathway Through the walls of solid stone, Shovels scrape and dig with effort Forging hard trajectories home. Digging, digging metal mountains Sweat cascades upon the brow, We lay the pipes in straight formation Precision's satisfaction now. An Artisan's great work is hidden Lost beneath the earth's grey stone, Appreciation camouflaged in that, The cast iron manhole stands alone. Magnificence unrealized For deep beneath your feet, A subterranean Michelangelo's Sisteen Chapel, lays discreet. Unsuspected rivers Flowing darkly to the sea In caverns of unwanted waste Quite unbeknown to thee. Vaulting brickwork chambers Which are ancient works of art, Carry oceans of excretement Far from where their journey's start. With thunder's crash and lightning flash And torrents of cold rain, The road's awash and gutters flow Through roadside grates to drain. Gushing torrents cascade down In waves of flowing might To the storm water system Which promptly swallows it from sight. Magic, you say ? Nay, nay I say unto you That the drain layers artistry Is unappreciated, that's true ! That the Herculean effort wrought In winning his great fights Is largely lost to all and sundry Who avoid construction sites. They miss the planning and the layout And meticulousness too And the rubber seals which stop the leaks Which really bother you. The massive holes and danger Of being buried in collapse And the wondrous satisfaction Of achieving downhill flows... Perhaps! Marshalg Apprentice drain layer MHX Beachcroft site and Eastport 19 September 2009
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62
The bartender a europa server leaves me a shot of liquid propane. He moves past every silver dollar forgetting about the meaning of whskey and bull dogs. I watch cody a young university of washington student sneek In a  can of raineer beer (if he really  goes there) ill never ask him.              This is how lastcall always takes place:  a drunken masqerader our friend johnny Drops his wallet and kills a shot of jager.  ( are we drunk enouph yet) I order a taco and gain three hundread pounds tonight. Master of the pitchers.  He still dreams of being a physical thearpist ( he failed trying to take over for Dyrile). His new tall order of a job makes my anticipated buzz weaker.   Im tired of these long dresses opening up and spilling all over the dance floor ( the dj warned her not to) Our ladies still mention bach.  Inside of her purse hides a mystery knovel. Tueday means a victory at home.  Every player utters pride of being a regular. We sink the black eight ball knowing the bouncer gets in the way of ourdrunk enemies  ( a red head) He charges like arhino.  Hes a animal without areason to ****  But the bouncer prevents his six year jail sentence from ever happening.  Bexause were all forgiven like helpless bar rags trying to dry out before the mold and mildew contaminate our bull **** stories.  We all speak easily after the brooklyn dodgers turn every blue and white hat around the five head. He wont show us how the airforce cut his hair.  Every one of his is angry patrons drink until the switch flickers the message ( crawl home bfore the cops fish with dynamite) in the ruston pqarking lot. (Searching for fake DW'S)  each of themshine a britemaglite until the last car disapears still swerving like a skunk ptetending to hide in the storm gutters.
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Sep 15, 2013
Sep 15, 2013 at 6:05 AM UTC
enjoying the unicorn bar and grill.
The bartender a europa server leaves me a shot of liquid propane. He moves past every silver dollar forgetting about the meaning of whskey and bull dogs. I watch cody a young university of washington student sneek In a  can of raineer beer (if he really  goes there) ill never ask him.              This is how lastcall always takes place:  a drunken masqerader our friend johnny Drops his wallet and kills a shot of jager.  ( are we drunk enouph yet) I order a taco and gain three hundread pounds tonight. Master of the pitchers.  He still dreams of being a physical thearpist ( he failed trying to take over for Dyrile). His new tall order of a job makes my anticipated buzz weaker.   Im tired of these long dresses opening up and spilling all over the dance floor ( the dj warned her not to) Our ladies still mention bach.  Inside of her purse hides a mystery knovel. Tueday means a victory at home.  Every player utters pride of being a regular. We sink the black eight ball knowing the bouncer gets in the way of ourdrunk enemies  ( a red head) He charges like arhino.  Hes a animal without areason to ****  But the bouncer prevents his six year jail sentence from ever happening.  Bexause were all forgiven like helpless bar rags trying to dry out before the mold and mildew contaminate our bull **** stories.  We all speak easily after the brooklyn dodgers turn every blue and white hat around the five head. He wont show us how the airforce cut his hair.  Every one of his is angry patrons drink until the switch flickers the message ( crawl home bfore the cops fish with dynamite) in the ruston pqarking lot. (Searching for fake DW'S)  each of themshine a britemaglite until the last car disapears still swerving like a skunk ptetending to hide in the storm gutters.
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15
*If I seem distant it's because I am. I abandon this city like rain down gutters trying to get back to a home, a field, a shore, no traffic, no smoke where air is pure & lungs breathe deep, in a rhythm untarnished by tarmac & brick; modernity's grip that looks for life & buries it, forgets Earth has a pulse a heart that beats beneath us.*
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Dec 8, 2015
Dec 8, 2015 at 11:24 AM UTC
distant
I measure out my days in witticisms that fall As freely and pointlessly as leaves in autumn, My few amongst the countless that fall anonymously Along streets, in parks, in gardens Filling gutters, blocking drains, making homes For hedgehogs, rats and beetles. Things we **** with cars, poisons and heels.
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Apr 7, 2017
Apr 7, 2017 at 3:26 AM UTC
To wit (to woo)