Goodbye Prague, to a city I never thought I'd know.
Goodbye Prague, to a heaven that is lined with shattered beer bottles and stamped out cigarettes the junkies and the hobo's here still manage to get a  few puffs out of.
Goodbye Prague, to a hell that was once hovering with the feelings of control, manipulation, and more control, but now is twirling top speed to a land unknown.
Goodbye Prague, you seductive ***** with your cheap liquor, beer, and cigarettes, smelling of aged mahogany mixed finely with an acidic burst of fresh *****.
Goodbye Prague, I do not know when I will see you again, but I hope that I do and that I never grow so old that I forget you.
Goodbye to your abstract animals smeared black, screaming in the exploding summer sun. Goodbye to freshly cut pigs heads and cow flesh, hanging in your storefront window, tempting every passerby like the *****'s of Amsterdam.
Goodbye to every cobblestone that shines after a fresh rain or snow, slippery to the newcomer, an annoyance to the amateur, thoughtless to the old timer.
Goodbye to the potraviny's stocked with two crown marked up ***** and space vegetables shaped and colored in a one and only kind of vernacular; without you, I would have half-drunkenly stumbled home towards dreams of menial headaches and shadowy beer or perhaps to The Oak to drink alone.
I scream so long through faint puffs of carbon nicotine clouds made illuminated by the icy orange street lamps 800 years old glow!
I scream so long to late metro's and early trams!
I scream so long to the roaring rocks who reflect the faces of aging clocks!
So long to passed out bums and unforgiving metro officers. So long to dollar fifty beers and the fear of getting deported. So long with counting silver crown to make even, seeing my math prowess has lessened. So long embedded needles and bottle caps deep within the snowy cobble. So long listless wanders all their money thrown away until the month of May comes to knock on their door. So long alleyway romance 100 crown notes and old men in their rickety fishermen boats. So long sad masked faces who in their forward march sit stunned seeing fortune picks only some. So long through the grey mist stabbed with neon signs that attract the youth and the mad. So long to the feeling everything I had to say was the wrong thing. So long to feelings of foreign familiarity whose ball and chain were slowly starting to rust away. So long in song to the player's of Riegrovy hill whose voices I just couldn't stand. So long I've come to understand everyone's got a choice to live or wish they did. So long to the wide swept hills of Petrin, where angel's of lore go to rest atop dusted fresh snow, among the dotted new born vine. So long to the sound of wet metal against metal, a scream of order carried on the blue man's shoulder. So long to a city whose architecture reminds me of old men's faces and whose color reminds me of elderly women's dresses. So long to smoking in front of children without a second thought for their health. So long to racism that is wicked, but grunted genially - the executioner smiles at the accused - the gravedigger's weep for the dead - the ant makes a break for a hill not his. So long forlorn love whose only remedy for a cure is the beer sitting in front of you. So long to wondering what's going on in the world, when all I want and got is what's right in front of me.
Farewell Prague, you shadowed street walker, a cloak of stars around you, finding all that owe you  your due.
Farewell Prague, you in the morning eyes half mast, snow crunching underneath stony white.
Farewell Prague, miss-handler of crooked time pieces stating the obvious, ignoring to blame bluntly on youthful alcohol abuse.
Farewell Prague, you took me up the hill and through the woods where ravens, black as gutter ice, crackled down at me like showers of New Year's fireworks.
Farewell Prague, you gave me peace where I once thought I was unable to have.
Farewell Prague, you befriended me, then ordered me a shot that made me cough, then ordered me a beer so we could sit and truly feel what it is to sit and wallow in our time here.
Farewell Prague, you entranced me with view after view to a city to stubborn to die.
Farewell Prague, I leave you like you would leave me.
Farewell Prague, to your fat snow flakes that drop into wide eyed children mouths, tasting of iron whiskey rye, though they do not flinch at the taste.
Farewell Prague, I leave you with a hush of a whimper, bitter as the cold, and indifferent as the server's over at Cafe Lourve.
Farewell Prague, with a thousand miles of graveyards, where ghosts barely have the strength to weep.
Farewell Prague, I admit I never knew how to love until I came to visit you.
Farewell Prague, as I stare out your cracked and smoky tram windows, my thoughts not my own, shop windows and naked, screaming men, their cigarettes bouncing in between their lips like a jack of spades on smack, where at last we see that life is only a worth a **** if lived.
Farewell Prague, I see the cards there on the table and you're winking at me while I stand at the backdoor, and what's more, there's a secret you've got to give that I refuse believe.
Farewell Prague, to your open sore catastrophe of society, KFC on every block, and Starbuck's on every other, and on the other other are the lined' wino's shaking open handed and spread for a case of cardboard vino.
Farewell Prague, to the nasty smoker's in trams that just stopped caring.
Farewell Prague, to a city rhythm generated by an ignorant originality and uniqueness, where the same has no name and the the plain jabber on about their jobs in their pretty blue jeans.
Farewell Prague, because to say goodbye would mean we don't have that friendly tone.
Farewell Prague, I see to sacrifice oneself for the comfort of the elder or the opposite fills me with agitated obligation stationed in a vessel older than I've ever lived - yet I know it, for it is me.
Farewell Prague, you are a lost lullaby caught in the wind of an elastic multi-colored pin-wheel, shining riches of the rainbow into the eyes of children, who all whistle when they snore.
Farewell Prague, a button upon the Earth, like every man.
Farewell Prague, a love song sung in the depths of a damp grey hall, rivers all around, so the sounds too much to drink were outlandish in high emotion, juvenile commotion.
Farewell Prague, we were young - not caring about the future, but of course, with worry in our hearts for worry is a sign of human being human; yet, still, we asked nothing of one another and you gave and I gave and you took and I took and we walked underneath one another's blanket's until we were no longer cold and the winter showed to be just an annoying individual at the party.
Farewell Prague, to your lack of complications, making simplicities acceptable again.
Farewell Prague, to the snow that never stops falling, all while slumbering within dream until the seam is ripped so the old can die.
Farewell Prague, I've shined every marble staircase and washed every tram window; you owe me nothing because I like you.
Farewell Prague, to the long nights bleeding away at the table alone, the lady fast asleep, lit by the dim orange glow of the twisted streetlights below.
Farewell Prague, to the long nights forgetting pains of existence and accepting every solution to ward of resistance.
Farewell Prague, our long talks and hovering walks, always forcing me to balk.
Farewell Prague, at last you got the praise you have always deserved.
Farewell Prague, to hot humid nights filled with *** and butter in the summer and cold bitten cold of ***** and juice a la winter.
Farewell Prague, to bad service but good drink and food.
Farewell Prague, you curious tale the bravest man would waver to say.
Farewell Prague, to bridges galore and more dead leaves then wrinkles on my crooked face.
Farewell Prague, at night the sheen of liquor wears off only if you let it be so.
Farewell Prague, to all the those lonely mornings bent head into book on the way to work.
Farewell Prague, how long till you grow to be young again?
Farewell Prague, how long till I admit my defeat to you?
Farewell Prague, how long until I accept I'm the last fool in this world?
Goodbye Prague, the last soldier is standing, but the war is not yet won.
Goodbye Prague, to your hazy stars glimmering and shining for an indebted audience.
Goodbye Prague, the sun breaking through ink spilled colored clouds, the birds chirping, the dogs barking, and us wondering where we started.
Goodbye Prague, your churches are empty so the sins of man run rampant and at last the prayers of men go unanswered; we now abandoned to fend for ourselves.
Goodbye Prague, the puncturing purity of your ways make me giggle in delight as I listen to the cool piano man play; his eyes on the horizon shattering like toppled china.
Goodbye Prague, at last there is a time where we both get what we want.
Goodbye Prague, the verandas are chilled with the dew of winter and the snow glitters like bitter diamonds as the fool tips his hat to shy away the sunlight.
Goodbye Prague, every rain drop that fell upon me was a gift you can never take away.
Goodbye Prague, the fool adheres to agnostic rules but the cruel here see no reason to sue.
Goodbye Prague, I think therefore the dust of escape reflects the waves of the river Vlatva.
Goodbye Prague, to your lack of vowels.
Goodbye Prague, when the night wavers hear the Beherovka weep into its own glass, love leaving her forever making no note to Kissy.
Goodbye Prague, tram driver's unforgiving in their merciless need for schedule.
Goodbye Prague, the last homage to the war standing like a shining diamond neath chipped and shattered rubble.
Goodbye Prague, a listless memory mentioned only in drifting dream.
Goodbye Prague, every loving glance smelling of freshly poured beer over newly fallen snow.
Goodbye Prague, to your hardness, your beauty, and your madness.
Goodbye Prague, your days wet with rain, stricken by sunlight, reflecting white emerald into the window panes of passing trains.
Goodbye Prague, at last you got what you deserved.
Goodbye Prague, now I can weep and say I have trampled upon your cheek and slunk through your veins and trudged through your blood and skipped through your hair and saw every line - both sought after and nought - you have acquired through time.
Goodbye Prague, there is no reason to get excited, you are free.
Goodbye Prague, I see the silhouette of the trees that line your hills and I am forsaken to see the leaves turning from jovial yellow greens to disregarded and disparaged furnaces of dim fire reds and browns.
Goodbye Prague, the people within you deserved all of the credit.
Good Prague, the people outside of you deserve what ever they believe they do.
Goodbye Prague, you family to families with common sense and love rampaging through your barley stained veins.
Goodbye Prague, perhaps there is nothing under your rubble, maybe already all is lost for everyone, everywhere, but maybe, you living the simpler life, can show all that life can be so.
Goodbye Prague, you gave me letters, words, lines, commas, apostrophes, and dashes, paragraphs, pages, and eventually, a story; I leave you marked.
Goodbye Prague, an old friend whose hand I shook but knew would one day turn my back on.
Goodbye Prague, the bite of your cold generosity and your bustling love leaves man with nothing but to bike back with no chance of triumph.
Goodbye Prague, street cleaners clean up your wear and tear from the mothers and fathers that bore you, some 800 years ago; ageless, you loom longer than they would like.
Goodbye Prague, battling sleep as the ***** raps for more and more, none that the man has.
Goodbye Prague, the night is curling in as the wave crashes to the short and I am the lost sun looking for a place to rise, trying to get to the sky.

You and I we lived a lie
And spread it to the masses
I made sure to tidy up and wore rose tinted glasses
I saw the flags and all the bad but couldn't understand
I cried myself to sleep and stuck my head under the sand
But somehow baby I just never could be what you needed
Accusing me of everything, yet you're the one who cheated
Such a sad realization when you wake up to a stranger
That you somehow knew for years and yet your connection's weaker

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

You told me I was heartless when I left without a tear
I guess you didn't count all the times I cried those years
You wounded me in different ways in which I still can't heal
Still I was devoted, my hearts not an easy one to steal
I gave you enough chances, time and time again
If you really cared about me, than you should have listened
So call me this and call me that
I really dont give a ****
I know that for some other man someday I'll be more than enough

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

How can I learn to trust again after such a failure?
You were just another waste of time, you weren't my savior
Sometimes I still think of things you said I get lost inside your lies
But I've grown so much since I stood my ground, you'll never realize
I won't allow myself to act stupid over another guy
I deserve the world and will except no less than the moon, the stars, and sky

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

Fast forward to the future and look how much I've grown
Can't believe how good I'm doing out here all on my own
I became my own support system, my own best friend
I don't need nobody else baby I got this til the end
But then a pair of eyes caught mine in a way I can't explain
They look not a thing like yours and I'm over the moon again
But this time will be different, this time Ill be stronger
I refuse to be abused or suffer any longer

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
I'm done with all your heartache
And I promise you by the time you notice what you threw away
I'll be someone else's cherished "mistake"

Realization has come now
Hoping to set the truth free
Guaranteed to show the way
To the gateway
Death gives a last wish to say farewell to those around me

Goodbye to the girl with useless information
Goodbye to the boy who used too much
Goodbye to the swimmer who was too cruel
Goodbye to the fictional character with an obsession
Goodbye to the party girl who drank frequently
Goodbye to the adorable one who cried too much over friendships gone
Goodbye to the one who plotted revenge
Goodbye to the one with insults he never meant
Goodbye to the one who gave birth to new life
Goodbye to the boy who kept to himself
Goodbye to the broken hearted that roamed the earth
Goodbye to the girl who played the leader
Goodbye to the followers that believed in nonsense
Goodbye to the forgotten
Goodbye to the lost
Goodbye to the future
Goodbye to your dreams that were crushed
Goodbye to the hope you kept

Goodbye to myself
For I have seen the future

Goodbye  wasps
Goodbye  bees
Goodbye  pollen from the trees
Goodb­ye  midges
Goodbye  flies
Goodbye  scorching cloudless skies
Good­bye  seagulls
Goodbye  ants
Goodbye  sunbathers in tiny pants
Goodbye  sunburn
Goodbye  oiled skin
Goodbye  iced drinks laced with gin
Goodbye  tourists
Goodbye  throngs
Goodbye  men wearing sarongs
Goodbye  hosepipe
Goodbye  lawn  mower
Welcome  to the no­isy leaf blower
Hello  Autumn
Hello  cool bright day
Hello  rolli­ng around in the hay
Hello  harvest
Hello  fruits
Hello  hiking in hiking boots
He­llo  warm colours
Hello  warm hearts
Good riddance Summer
Autumn starts

To finish anything in entirety requires a full circle- and goodbye is a picky eater. Good is the pieces of pie fully enjoyed already- don't forget the fingertips good. The ones licked crisp and clean from the plasticware every time. While bye remains the uneaten slices spoiling silence in the kitchen. Crumbs too stubborn to move along, to move anywhere at all. Notice these slices never once greeted each other on a dinner plate- and there is no place for distance during dessert.

2. Goodbye is invisible ink scribbled too quickly for certainty. Proper sendoffs deserve the type of visibility that billboards form. So if you have the audacity to send seven letters my way disguised as our final embrace- I will unwrap your formality, like 5am Christmas morning, and pretend I'm on the naughty list. Hidden messages lack a sense of transparency that leaves only second guessing and farewells should need no crystal *****.
Goodbyes are as good as guesswork- and we are not fortune tellers.

3. Goodbye implies loss or rejection, but well wishes are meant for times
when loss is undeniably absent. Wishing wells bathe separation with good intentions- each copper coin anointed an underwater masterpiece.
While goodbye addresses detachment with partial reflections, splitting waves too strict for clarity. So all I see are the ripples of me spread too thin, the pieces of me scattered in every direction. Goodbye wishes no one well.

4. Goodbye is simply one word. Goodbye is not naturally destructive. Goodbye is no vocal cord villain.
Words are neither inherently good nor bad because we ascribe their significance, but evidence suggests a one word farewell serves innocent ears unjust death sentences.

5. The moment you allow I love you to skydive from your tongue, the word goodbye steals the parachutes mid-launch causing fatal free fall to artificial grass your hands never actually planted. This land is lunar rock rare- desolate when day breaks.
Goodbye is not fertilizer for greener pastures- rather an open invitation for wildfire to reduce the cosmos to ashes.

6. Endings are inevitable and sometimes quite necessary. And I'm not suggesting we prolong foregone conclusions. But our parting words need not necessarily be regrettable. Goodbyes are often stressed in tragic spectacles only designed for Broadway stages and sometimes all that's needed
is a genuine platform to stand on to say something like-- I'll miss you or I'm not ready for this or I can't do this anymore.


7. Goodbye is not a last resort.
Last resorts lead to final destinations you never come home from and you were never home, you were never home for me, you were always goodbye. Goodbye was your one way ticket to paradise, the kingdom your words worshiped and call me a traitor if you must, but the paradox you fundamentally found comfort in is tyranny trapped in one breath.
And that's never been comforting enough for me to believe in, never been real enough for me to hold.
Goodbye is sweet sorrow- one hollow word that makes your smile hurt.
It's solid rain on sunny days, stolen hearts on lay away. It's two syllables that were forced to hold hands that were never ever friends to begin with.
Goodbye is an oxymoron- and it will never justify your warm hello.

I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.
I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.
I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.
I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.
I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.
I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.

On my knees, falling to the ground, in your arms, screaming,

I never got to say goodbye.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
The words flit past my lips
Like a butterfly

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
I bid you adieu
I’ll see you next time

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
My leaving grows nigh
Goodbye!

‘Love me today, don’t leave me tomorrow’
That’s what I should have made more clear
and that’s exactly what you did
one day you’re in love, the next you’re no longer here
Here isn’t where I want you though
Not anymore

Sitting outside writing this at the busstop
Don’t know what I keep writing about you for

If I knew the last time I was in your arms was gonna be the last time
I would have said goodbye, goodbye
I would have saved you the trouble
Of having to break my heart the next time, the next time
I would’ve been more persistent and asked what was on your mind
then maybe I would’ve known
that two days later you planned to go
then before you could make me cry
I would have said goodbye, goodbye

But if I knew that it was gonna be the last time
I would have hoped for time to go slower, that’s right
I would have savored every moment
Praying we’d never make it to daylight
But it was the last time
And I never saw it coming

Sitting outside writing this at the busstop
Don’t know what I keep writing about you for

If I knew the last time I was in your arms was gonna be the last time
I would have said goodbye, goodbye
I would have saved you the trouble
Of having to break my heart the next time, the next time
I would’ve been more persistent and asked what was on your mind
then maybe I would’ve known
that two days later you planned to go
then before you could make me cry
I would have said goodbye, goodbye

I should have listened to my heart
You’re a twisted lover
I should have listened to my heart
She warned me that if I fell for you, I’d never recover
Don’t know what I’m still writing about you for
Maybe it’s because I’m trying to make myself believe
That the part of you I still miss
Is just the person who you lead me to think you’d be

If I knew the last time I was in your arms was gonna be the last time
I would have said goodbye, goodbye
I would have saved you the trouble
Of having to break my heart the next time, the next time
I would’ve been more persistent and asked what was on your mind
then maybe I would’ve known
that two days later you planned to go
then before you could make me cry
I would have said goodbye, goodbye
So goodbye, goodbye.

How sad it is to know that “Goodbye”
slips from my lips easier than any other
word in the dictionary.
How terrible it is to know that
a seven letter word,
etched with pain,
can slip so effortlessly through
raspberry colored lips.
They’ll ask me how I’m doing.
I’ll say “I’m surviving”.
But, they won’t understand that
“Goodbye” is carved into my
bones like the initials of lovers
on tree barks.
They will not understand
that the reason “Goodbye”
slips so easily from my lips
is because of a tainted childhood
that I’ve tried so hard to forget.
Maybe, just maybe, if I say it enough
it will lose all of its meaning.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
No.
Every goodbye pulls air out of my lungs
and forces a fist into my stomach.
Fire ignites in my chest and the bags
under my eyes darken.
It takes the color out of my face as if it was
never there.
While he sleeps perfectly still across town,
I will toss and turn.
Nightmares for every dream, darker bags
for every night I lay awake thinking
about the last “goodbye” to escape my
cracked lips.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
He is gone.

I broke free of all the chains
Finally shook off all the pain
I don’t have to take anymore
Stumbling through the dark in search of the door

The moon cast its glow over me
And finally I could breathe
I lay down on the cold hard earth
Wondering what it all was for

Something inside of me finally cracked
And what it was it ain’t comin’ back
All the parts that were sealed up tight
Out of mind and out of sight

And as the wind tears through me
My hearts blowin’ up like a cherry tree
Blossoms burst and fall to the ground
My tears they make no sound

I’ve been wandering for many years
Doing what it takes to satiate my fears
Searching for a treasure though no treasure was found
Until I found myself buried in the ground

Up to my neck was the hole I dug
Like the earth was giving me a hug
As the moon washes over me
It was like I could finally see

As the clouds passed over head
Figured I was better off dead
Than rotting in some broken dream
it’s enough to make a grown man scream

Where did I finally go wrong
I could’ve swore that I was strong
But that burden held over my head
Demon inside was constantly fed

And here I am, laying in the ground
No more dreams, no more sounds
I’ve traded it all in for a peaceful goodbye
Ive never felt more alive inside

I’ve been wandering for many years
Doing what it takes to satiate my fears
Searching for a treasure though no treasure was found
Until I found myself buried in the ground

Goodbye love
Goodbye hate
Goodbye time
Goodbye too late
Goodbye crutch
And goodbye me
Don’t worry I am finally free

Goodbye love
Goodbye hate
Goodbye time
Goodbye too late
Goodbye crutch
And goodbye me
Don’t worry I am finally free

I want to say goodbye.

Goodbye to this world
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to the people
Goodbye to my life.

Goodbye dearest world,
you didn't do anything bad
Goodbye dearest world,
don't feel sad
The world isn't at fault.

Goodbye,
I will never forget you
Goodbye,
you tried to show me a new view
You aren't at fault.

Goodbye everyone,
there are people that can't tell the difference of them and me
Goodbye everyone,
I can't ever forget all the bad things you did to me

Goodbye life,
you did your best
your best to handle the stress
Goodbye life,
I will never forget you

Life hurts,
there is nothing like the pain
it feels like acid rain
but fight.

Fight,
don't let your life go to waste
Fight,
look at how much you faced

Even though life seems hard,
you are not alone
please go talk to someone before it gets worse.

Your life isn't trash,
don't waste it.

You skin isn't paper,
don't cut it.

Our time was short
not aged like wine
The truth was plucked
from the vine
And I never got the chance  
to say goodbye


The thoughts hold on
The heart despairs
The ghost of you
is everywhere
And I will always be next to and
. . . near you

so goodbye . . . farewell . . . goodbye

The day begins
just like it ends
Is it God's good will
it came to end
But my loneliness
shouts out in vain

So when something ends
it's time to begin
I won't be looking behind . . .  
it's just the wind
And my arms are aching
from the pain

Goodbye . . . so goodbye
fare thee well

So go on now . . . cut your losses
Close the fact inside the coffin
Take the key and
lock it deep inside

Learn how to say your prayers
Long for the day without the cares
The evening air comes on now so chilling

Say goodbye , goodbye now . . .  forevermore

Goodbye . . .
you've closed the door

With every step I'm feeling
Where once so firm I'm reeling
from the overburden
of my motal ways

So just release my last goodbye
Don't even dare to ask me why
The chances are cast
the lot now devided

. . . so goodbye . . . goodbye . . .
. . . goodbye . . .  fare thee well . . .

Goodbye dictatorships, you're no good for anyone now, no more hitlers, no more chairman maos.

Goodbye dictatorships, no more killing, no more ruining lives, no more wars, no more fights.

Goodbye dictatorships, we don't want you anymore, you make people racist, you make people poor.

Goodbye dictatorships, you're time has passed, no more censorship, no more heads of states stealing all the cash.

Goodbye dictatorships, it is time for you to go, no more feeding propoganda, no more controlling what people know.

Goodbye dictatorships, and let freedom rule. Goodbye dictatorships, we don't want you. Goodbye dictatorships, let people break their chains, Goodbye dictatorships, and let anarchy reign!

Goodbye dictatorships, let people break their chains, Goodbye dictatorships, and let anarchy reign!

So I'll wear this hollow smile to hide the pain in my eyes.
You will see the sun shining but there are clouds in my skies.
And I'm broken, lost, alone but I know I won’t cry
Because I'm numb every time that you say goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Yeah when you say goodbye.

The only time I'm happy is when I look in your eyes.
A smile on your face can make the sun rise.
But the sun it stops shining when you say good bye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
When you say goodbye.
Yeah when you say goodbye.

Now call me what you will just don't think that I lie.
With every I love you that I can’t deny.
It’s no lie.
No lie.
No lie.
I won’t tell you a lie.

Now every breath I take is a pain that I hate.
This life is not worth living if you ain't in it.
So I'll walk around smiling like its all ok.
But who knows where I'll stand at the end of the day.
Today.
I won’t lie.
No way.
Don't say goodbye.
Goodbye.

Goodbye my beloved
my best friend
my cartoon strip
my spicy blend
my confidant'
my story-teller too
my source of bliss
my beautiful you
Goodbye my soulmate
my aggravation
my dewey tears
my joyous elation
my dark devil
my saving knight
my funky mixed salad
my angel in white
Goodbye my jellybean
my every color
my brilliant star
my only stellar
my addictin high
my curvy wurvy road
my far away companion
my emotional garbage load
Goodbye my truck driver
my ever pessimist
my deep sad poet
my christmas list
my squishy hug
my dictionary
my thesarus too
my harry-carry
Goodbye my healing crystal
my happy thought
my **** dreams
my man I have not
my heaven on eath
my hell here too
my disneyland
my passion that grew
Goodbye my mysterious moon
my brick wall
my favorite song
my bounce to the ball
my craziest joke
my sun in winter
my dirtiest thought
my fantasy reader
Goodbye my phone friend
my tug of war
my fleshy goosepimples
my bird that soars
my bright lightening
my roaring thunder
my white rose
my hopes down under
Goodbye my perfect lover
my satin sheet
my carribean vacation
my favorite treat
my majestic mountain
my green thumb
my cycle rider
my last crumb
Goodbye my first spring rain
my catalyst
my curious dreamer
my lemon twist
my catch of the day
my white cloud
my emotional abyss
my cake upside down
Goodbye my only you
my hopeless dream
my love of loves
my everything

How many times will my name be called within one day?
From the depths of my conscious to the outermost membrane,
It's a situation I cannot just walk away from,
And the insinuation that I'll give up only in my dreams,
Just makes me want to go even more,
For you believe I'm not me,
For you believe that I'm a liar and a manipulator.

If I'm just that fake I might as well go,
Leave my stuff here before I sink further,
And the temptation to bury myself in toxic waters is great,
Nothing you've ever felt will compare to the hurt,
In my chest and in my cords,
So take my hand before I say goodbye.
Before I say goodbye.

Spend some time with me,
Sit with me and laugh out the fears,
The fears that life has no point and I have no purpose,
It must be tonight and If He was real then I'd use that as my pedestal,
I wouldn't care if I was called fake cause if It keeps me awake then so be it,
Spit out your truths; do you believe I will make it in life?
I'm tired of being told I cannot,
That I cannot start this life off or make it with the dreams that I have.

If I'm just that fake I might as well go,
Leave my stuff here before I sink further,
And the temptation to bury myself in toxic waters is great,
Nothing you've ever felt will compare to the hurt,
In my chest and in my cords,
So take my hand before I say goodbye.
Before I say goodbye.

And the poison on my wrist,
Seeps out once again and into the air it dissipates into gas,
Enough for me to inhale and drink,
Drink until the world is fuzzy and grey,
Don't care, Don't care,
It's this pointless verb of dying that won't carry me on,
Don't care, Don't care,
Just believe in me, Just believe in me.

If I'm just that fake I might as well go,
Leave my stuff here before I sink further,
And the temptation to bury myself in toxic waters is great,
Nothing you've ever felt will compare to the hurt,
In my chest and in my cords,
So take my hand before I say goodbye.
Before I say goodbye.

Oh and before I say goodbye,
Place a rose in my hands,
With the name I was given but not the name I received,
***** you if you think I'm not me,
***** you if you think that this is manipulation,
Do you realize how much I drown in your hate?
I want to thrive and I want to strive for more and more,
It's just before I say goodbye,
I'll be watching for a way to survive,
You wrought hope and said I'd be living mediocre,
Did you realize that I don't care?
It's something I need before I say goodbye,
Before I say goodbye.
Before I say goodbye.
Before I say goodbye.

You might not remember my goodbye, but there were white walls. Around 9pm, a handful of other people, and the beating of a silent angel’s wing.

You might not know this, but that wasn’t a goodbye. It was too rushed, too ******, not enough space for letters to form, full of run-ons, no commas, no semi-colons, very messy, no— that was the goodbye in my head, but what I actually managed to whisper was full of commas, full of semi-colons, had too much pauses. But no stops. No periods. My goodbye was unfinished.

It went something like,

“I love you… I won’t let anything happen to the place you love most…. I will write about you, about your family; I won’t let them forget about—”

See? My goodbye was an outline. With Roman numeral number one being "I love you..." so,


I. I love you

   A. I love you; what more is there to say?
   B. Here it is: I love you
   C. And I will continue to love you

       1. long after my tongue forgets how to say your name because I know I won’t be saying it out loud anymore

      2. long after your bed exhales the engraving of your body on its sheets and I forget what sleeping beside you feels like

      3. long after the sound of sirens and wars and famines and earthquakes try to push the sound of your radio out of my mind (I will miss that radio)


II. I won’t let anything happen to the place you love most

   A. where is the place you love most?

      1. I hope the place you love most is within reach and not somewhere I can't go to

      2. or maybe it’s the place you call home, or maybe it’s who you call home

      3. I hope the place you love most is somewhere where I’m next to you

   B. I hope I can keep this promise


III. I will write about you

   A. how you
      1. once ate tortang talong everyday for two years — simply because you loved it

      2. keep everything — that eleven year old bar of Safeguard you once showed me, the children’s picture book Bible you’ve had since you were nine, and my letters you never replied to… I remember always writing apologies for snapping at you, now I’m writing eulogies and I don’t know how to stop

   B. how you love

      1. not with your words —  maybe words tired you because people don’t always remember words exactly as they were, but they do remember the way they were looked at, and when you’d look at me like that, I was suddenly fine with the way you kept your I love yous to yourself; they spill from your eyes anyway

      2. with your hands — you liked to fix my messes: from algebra equations to broken picture frames; you liked to answer my questions: where is north? who were the other men on the moon? what did you say when you had to say goodbye? I never asked you that last question, but maybe I should have so that I would have been more prepared for this moment and not would not have to have said goodbye to you in the form of an outline

   C. about your family

      1. I will start writing about them once I’ve figured out how to stop writing about you

      2. so I guess I might never be able to write about them

IV. I won’t let them forget about



And here ends my goodbye because I decided that I would be undecided about what I won’t let people forget. Let me remind them freely, without a guide to follow, just things about you I only realize later on actually meant something. And now I realize that that goodbye holds a lot of promises, and I need to tell you honestly… these days… I don’t write about you and I don’t think about you and I don’t see you everywhere anymore. And sometimes I don’t miss you. And I don’t know if that is a sign that I have healed, or if I’ve just simply chosen to ignore the symptoms of something much worse. But these days I swear I’ve been trying. Trying to let you in my dreams again. Trying to write more fragments and phrases and outlines and fulfilled promises. Trying to let you make your way into my words again, until my goodbye becomes a see you later. Until I someday write you back.

I stood at her bedside quietly.
She looked peaceful.
She looked happy.
I held my siblings' shoulder as they cried.
I knew it would be hard for them.
I would be there for them.

It was just twenty minutes ago.
I had looked over, her oxygen tube was no longer moving.
Not in the rhythmic way it does when she breathes.
It was still, still as stone.
I swallowed thickly before speaking aloud.
My mom was quick to get up to make sure.
I hesitated before following her over.

I now waited for my little sister to take a breath.
Her sobs racked her body and I rubbed her shoulder.
They'd never lost someone before.
It wouldn't be goodbye forever,
but for a while.

They both said goodbye with sobs.
I stayed there quietly.
She looked tranquil.
No pain.
No worry.

~

I was the only child to attend the viewing.
She looked cold this time.
Pale, a little blue.
And yet still so beautiful.
She was only in a cardboard box.
I'd wished we brought nail polish.
I believe my my mom said goodbye there.
I stayed quiet.
I never said goodbye.

I wish I would have just said goodbye.
I wish she would've taken more pictures.
I wish I knew more about her.
I wish she never got cancer.
I wish I would have just said goodbye.
I wish she never smoked.
I wish the cancer never metastasized.
I wish she was here.
I wish I would have just said goodbye.
I wish I didn't have to take care of her with my mom at 15.
I wish she never became weak.
I wish she stayed healthy.
I wish I would have just said goodbye.
I wish I would have cried.
I wish I would have felt.
I wish I would have just said goodbye.

Goodbye grandma.
I love you.
But it isn't goodbye forever.....
Right?

Goodbye, goodbye, what happened to goodbye
Goodbye, my goodbye just turned to another hi
Goodbye, I said, to my feelings and past
Goodbye, I told you, but all I did was go back
Goodbye, goodbye, I had said my farewell
Goodbye, goodbye? But guess who fell for it again

Looks like this is the end.

Goodbye to our late night phone calls, because I will never hear your voice again
Goodbye to the long walks in the park, because I will never feel the warmth of your hands
Goodbye to the way you always held me close during a storm, because I will never be in the same room as you
Goodbye to the morning coffee, midday mojito and midnight snacks because there is no one waiting for me at home
Goodbye to all the valentines, teddy bears and gummy flowers, because there will never be someone as thoughtful as you
Goodbye to our silly nicknames, half anniversaries and crazy road trips, because my memory has been severely affected now
Goodbye to all the hugs, kisses, tickling and corny jokes, because it hurts too much to remember
Goodbye to our future plans, and dreams, because everything stopped on August the 19th
Goodbye to all the love, lust and passion, because I will never feel again
Goodbye to the years of laughter, tears, and mayhem because that’s all in the past now

Goodbye to us…

This may not sound quite right
But I find I've made up my mind
After all of this time
To say goodbye to goodbye

Goodbye only makes me sad
When losing the friends that I have
When it's their turn to come up to bat
When they have no time left

Goodbye is too cruel a word
Goodbye is best if it's left unheard
Being that there is no cure
When goodbye occurs

And that is exactly why
After all of this time I find
I've made up my mind
To say goodbye to goodbye

I don’t know what to say anymore,
Nothing can make this right.
You want so badly to save us,
But I don’t want to put up a fight.
We’re in a sinking ship here,
But you’ve still got buckets in your hands.
You keep screaming for me to help you,
But I can’t accept your demands.
You’re asking me to choose here:
“It’s either me or her.”
But you’ve played this game before with me,
So I’m taking her offer.

I won’t say goodbye
Even through she was the ice burg
I won’t say goodbye
Even though the last straw was her
I won’t say goodbye
I’m taking back my wings
I won’t say goodbye
And I’m the bird here that sings.

I don’t know what to write anymore.
Can’t pick up my pen and go.
You still beg me for the words,
But these words I’ll never show.
You fret over every word I said,
Like a moment stopped in time.
You scratch, I bleed and look at you,
And you say I crossed a line but,

I won’t say goodbye
Even through she was the ice burg
I won’t say goodbye
Even though the last straw was her
I won’t say goodbye
I’m taking back my wings
I won’t say goodbye
And I’m the bird here that sings.

And then you turn me around again,
And hold me ever close.
All I wanted was to love,
I’m such a lonely ghost.
Save me now I’m drowning,
This ship is going down.
The fires spreading rapidly,
And our bodies won’t be found.

I won’t say goodbye
Even through she was the ice burg
I won’t say goodbye
Even though the last straw was her
I won’t say goodbye
I’m taking back my wings
I won’t say goodbye
And I’m the bird here that sings.

Look who is going around
Trying to capture my attention now
Mean to tell me you still ain't figured this out?
better tell you my side of the story now
Just so everyone can see how
You went and lost me the way you did
The reason I've been ignoring all this ****
Oh, you remember what you said?
Can you feel it's presence in your head?
You said you'd moved on (So long, So long)
And you blamed me for all the things that went wrong,
In your last relationship, Yeah you did
I was part of the reason you broke up with him,
That is what you said, So I did the logical thing
I went my separate way
And now your acting like the victim, ouch.
Seems this situation is spiralling out of my control
but there is more left to be told

Does it hurt?
Does it hurt?
That I don't need you now
Does it hurt?
Does it hurt?
That I don't need you now

Yeah maybe it's a little tragic
But even best friends say goodbye
You went and betrayed my trust
I was left to pick up the dust
And maybe it's a little tragic
But even best friends say goodbye

Yeah you showed your brand new friend
Every **** message I ever sent
Why not just stab me in the back
Best friends don't act like that
I took the blame
And I took the fall
I stuck up for you on the freaking phone
I told your ex and that *****,
to leave you the **** alone,
I stood up for you
And when you couldn't see us getting together,
You moved on, Yes you left
So I went my own road
Paved my way
to a new life and place I made
with my new friend's I have made
I feel completely safe

Does it hurt?
Does it hurt?
That I don't need you now
Does it hurt?
Does it hurt?
That I don't need you now

Yeah maybe it's a little tragic
But even best friends say goodbye
You went and betrayed my trust
I was left to pick up the dust
And maybe it's a little tragic
But even best friends say goodbye

You went and found somebody else
It's time to let go of the past
We both walked separate paths
He needs your all, And I don't
I've got everybody that I need
I didn't like you like that, I never did
I knew we weren't meant to be
It's time to get this out in the open
Yeah clear the air
Breathe in deep
It's time to move on (Really move on)
You said you moved on
So just move on (So long, So long)

Yeah maybe this is tragic
But even best friends say goodbye
You went and betrayed my trust
But I'll cherish the memories in my heart
I was left to pick up the dust
So I did, you left me standing here
So I walked the other way
Yeah this sounds tragic
Sometimes even best friends say goodbye
Even best friends have to say goodbye
It's time to say goodbye
(Goodbye, goodbye)

©2017 Written By Benji James

hello. it all started with a simple hello.
who would have thought that this would lead to something more
i wouldn't say i fell for you but instead you tripped me, pretending that you were going to catch me...
But oh so stupid of me, oh so so stupid of me.
why didnt i bother to get up? why didn't i realize that it would be too much?
memories of you and I come rushing to me every night and it pains me every time.
what you see with your eyes isn't always the truth. how much more do i need to see the truth that you can't see with your eyes?
we were once happy, happily together... sure, we fight time to time but what's a relationship without some fights?
Though this was all in the past, something you've probably forgotten. but me? I remember every single thing...
“the past is in the past”
yeah right.
that's what they always say
but just because something is in the past doesn't mean it'll go away
it's already there and it'll always be there
it's like being stuck in another world...
a dark, empty void where all you do is run..
run,  run, run,  run...  a monster chasing me but the thing is, that monster is you... so don't try to pull me up from this hole i've made..  there's no escape and i know that i can't climb up 'cause i won't be able to and you can't....
an endless labyrinth i cough up spiders
an upside down, where in everything contradicts
stay away! Don’t go!

so
let’s start with saying goodbye
goodbye to all the time we shared together, all our greetings, all the smiles that we shared together, a few moments with each other when we were just clueless children, a couple of oblivious kids.
Goodbye to all the stupid jokes, all the how are you’s, even if I’m the only one who seems to truly care.
Goodbye to all the waiting, the endless arguments that don’t make sense, and all the other senseless situation where we fought.
So forgive me love, for all the names that I and you only understand, the words that I want to throw with my hand, a few seconds, staring into each other’s eyes, we had.
All the memories I can’t forget, memories that you left, when you left me! Forgive me if it’s already annoying, if it just repeats over and over until it cannot be repeated.
Forgive me if I am or I am not the one you want, if I ask for things you cannot give, if I ever thought that “hey, you’ll stay” but I guess I was wrong.
I know, that there was a time, a moment, when I was yours and you were mine but not anymore! because you don’t want to and that’s why I shouldn’t anymore.
Even if you want to hear but can’t be heard, even if you understand but can’t be understood, even if you want..to forgive…… but can’t forget because you don’t want to and I shouldn’t anymore.
You don’t want to because there’s someone else, I’m sorry if I’m a mess, I’m sorry if this is taking so long. So please, forgive me, goodbye, let’s just say goodbye!
Goodbye to staying away and sorry for staying close. Goodbye to all the joy and sorry for all the pain. Love, I don’t want to end by asking for forgiveness but forgive me!
So I can set you free you must first let go! , because I can’t do it anymore.
Goodbye because I can’t do it anymore but love! ..... Wait! No, not love because you don’t love me and I shouldn’t anymore.
So let’s erase every single thing erase why should I say goodbye when you already left erase
im not the kind of girl who asks for forgiveness erase im not asking for forgiveness from you erase I don’t love you, I never loved you erase I don’t care if you still want to or if you don’t! I don’t care if you’re hurting, that I’m not worried! erase I don’t love you I never did I just wanted you!
Loving you is right too bad I’m always wrong so yes! Let’s write it once more!
Love, when I looked for you he came, and I thought he was the one, that! Was the biggest mistake that I did, was to look for you.
I don’t not love him because he doesn’t love me but because I looked for him, because I know you’ll come, I know you’ll come because I asked for you until now I still yearn for you.
So if you decided to come find me, the right person in the right time, so I would know that it's you. Find me and love me in a way that we both know.
A love that’ll never be wrong ever again.

'Goodbye forever.'
Like a poison dart
Her beautiful words,
Deeply pierced my heart.

'Goodbye forever.'
Like a leaping sword,
Left me with a scar
Of my own accord.

'Goodbye forever.'
Such a poet's write,
That it makes me smile
Yet fills me with fright.

'Goodbye forever.'
Her words made it seem
Like my life's not real,
It was all a dream.

'Goodbye forever.'
The words come to spill,
My life out of trance,
And threatens to ****.

'Goodbye forever.'
Like the silent sky
Disturbs me to core,
Without knowing why.

'Goodbye forever.'
Like a maelstrom dread,
Would wash me in blue,
And leave me in red.

'Goodbye forever.'
As hope flies away.
That my life will ne'er--
See another day.

'Goodbye forever.'
I took to the grave.
Her beautiful words,
I can not be saved!

We walked, we walked out of the gates and up the rocky hill.
We listened to that song you loved, I hated, hate it still.
The 4 of us we laughed and climbed, and at the end I said goodbye.
You smiled I smiled, I never thought that last goodbye would be goodbye.

If I knew it was the last day that we would be having fun.
Perhaps I would have spoken more, spoken less, listened more, said something meaningful.
I could have said I’d missed us growing far apart.
I could have tried instead, to heal your head and not just heal your heart.

If I knew what was to happen, I would have said it properly.
Not just goodbye, regretful ‘goodbye’, goodbye’s now haunting me.

Goodbye, goodbye it taunts me, in my dreams I say goodbye.
And then they leave, they disappear, they go, you go.
You die.