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"forgivable" poems
*Nice, Slick, Steady, Unbuttoning... She makes Naughty Things So Forgivable.* © 2014 J.S.P.
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Jan 11, 2015
Jan 11, 2015 at 7:45 AM UTC
Gaining Composure (10W)
Flashback to as far back as the mind goes, Masculinity is mighty and feminism is flawed, Man is right and woman is wrong, Boy is strong and girl is weak, I’m a gentleman as long as I’m on top, She can’t speak unless spoken to, No place for women at the pulpit, Men can’t learn from lesser beings. Flashback to four years old, The first time he was told, Homosexuals will burn eternally, Because they’re ******* He said God doesn’t love them, They’re an abomination to creation. Flashback to age twelve, Welcome to the USA, Export the Mexicans, Eliminate the rag heads, Burn the gays. Flashback to seventh grade, She left him for her, The hate talk convinced him, All gays were wrong always. Flashback to freshmen year, It was Halloween, Debate class in the morning, She was dressed as a nerd, But obviously that so wasn’t her, Because she was Iranian, He asked where her turban was, Said her outfit wasn’t complete without it. Flashback to the close-minded, conservatively, homeschooled child, Racism was as familiar as his father’s laugh, Sexism known like the scent of his mother’s casseroles, Ignorance was his bestfriend, And hate pumped through his veins. I don’t know if right wing racist remarks are forgivable, But the one he was bred to despise showed nothing but forgiveness. The Iranian girl shed tears, Which caused him to shed his foggy lens, For the first time, he saw his own sins, A joke rooted in hate hurt an innocent girl, An innocent tear hurt an ignorant boy, I am an ignorant boy, I felt her pain, I stabbed myself with shame, She befriended me, She forgave. Flawed people produced twisted identification, She isn’t the Iranian girl, Just a person. Mexican, black, dark skinned, or light, Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Left wing or right, Straight, gay, man, woman, Irrelevant. Mexican, black, dark skinned, or light, Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Left wing or right, Straight, gay, man, woman, Human.
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Aug 6, 2013
Aug 6, 2013 at 3:01 PM UTC
Twisted Identification
Flashback to as far back as the mind goes, Masculinity is mighty and feminism is flawed, Man is right and woman is wrong, Boy is strong and girl is weak, I’m a gentleman as long as I’m on top, She can’t speak unless spoken to, No place for women at the pulpit, Men can’t learn from lesser beings. Flashback to four years old, The first time he was told, Homosexuals will burn eternally, Because they’re ******* He said God doesn’t love them, They’re an abomination to creation. Flashback to age twelve, Welcome to the USA, Export the Mexicans, Eliminate the rag heads, Burn the gays. Flashback to seventh grade, She left him for her, The hate talk convinced him, All gays were wrong always. Flashback to freshmen year, It was Halloween, Debate class in the morning, She was dressed as a nerd, But obviously that so wasn’t her, Because she was Iranian, He asked where her turban was, Said her outfit wasn’t complete without it. Flashback to the close-minded, conservatively, homeschooled child, Racism was as familiar as his father’s laugh, Sexism known like the scent of his mother’s casseroles, Ignorance was his bestfriend, And hate pumped through his veins. I don’t know if right wing racist remarks are forgivable, But the one he was bred to despise showed nothing but forgiveness. The Iranian girl shed tears, Which caused him to shed his foggy lens, For the first time, he saw his own sins, A joke rooted in hate hurt an innocent girl, An innocent tear hurt an ignorant boy, I am an ignorant boy, I felt her pain, I stabbed myself with shame, She befriended me, She forgave. Flawed people produced twisted identification, She isn’t the Iranian girl, Just a person. Mexican, black, dark skinned, or light, Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Left wing or right, Straight, gay, man, woman, Irrelevant. Mexican, black, dark skinned, or light, Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Left wing or right, Straight, gay, man, woman, Human.
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61
They enter the café just as some sappy pop song is playing They order then immediately hug Embrace Swaying to one side, together, like the wind Encircling the leaning tower of Pisa Then teetering to the other solstice Foot to foot, smile to smile, hand round skirted waist Forearm resting on his tall  blazered shoulders This is forgivable in the young Those teeny-boppers with defiant hair-cuts and posters However, he has peppered hair She, though voluptuous and tanned, Must be in her 30s. “Affair.” My cynical devil snickers, between sips But I sit mesmerized, and for the first time ever Envious. The chairs and the tables somehow seem more distant The song  now sounds as if it’s funneled through some crackling phonograph The very light disentangles itself from stones It’s as if a sky has opened up in my chest Flying high overhead,  one lone raven, Its slow shadow Gliding across my heart Oh, how I miss you 5 states away I see your smile on magazine covers I vaguely sniff your scent on passing women Yet you remain elusive - immaterial, haunting,   While this visceral assault Leaves me bewildered - empty An echo in a chiaroscuro cavern   Fading for thee
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Jul 28, 2016
Jul 28, 2016 at 5:31 PM UTC
Letters from N.M.
Why do you people think it so despicable, that I won't share my time on occasions in which I'm particularly ******* miserable I'll give you my reciprocal, I don't need your help I'm strong as an individual. And I do not, intend to be critical, but too many choose to use emotion, over thinking that's analytical That's why i need to be alone, Both mental and physical, It's kind of a ritual, interaction is minimal It's never been personal, it's more of a principle I hope you'll find it forgivable, I am sorry, But I'm strong as an individual.
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Oct 7, 2014
Oct 7, 2014 at 1:44 PM UTC
Strong As An Individual.
maybe it's okay i don't feel anything for you anymore. maybe it's okay i've moved on. i am no longer fueling the fire of the hatred you possess for everyone you can't understand. you couldn't understand me. i didn't want you too. i was unpredictable and selfish. you were naive and hateful. i want to get better. you want to subject more victims. i can live without you. you can't live with knowing i no longer care. i've always known how to torture you inside. you always knew how to push me to that point. i'm happy knowing you're still sad. i am happy knowing you're in pain. i'm ****** up. but you ****** up. now you can't live with your mistake. but mine was always intentional. that's the thing that made you so angry. the thing that you could never understand. how could everyone always forgive me? i guess i'm simply oh so forgivable, honey.
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Mar 23, 2018
Mar 23, 2018 at 2:08 PM UTC
psychotic end.
I understand they find dinosaur bones there in your backyard. Big ones. I've never been to your house or even close to that neighborhood, but ever since you've written me, I am completely intrigued. What you said about me, I think about you in an execrable Hemingway way, maybe as in his "Death In The Afternoon." All the goring. Faintheartedness is nothing to be carried by bullfighters or by bone hunters, I suppose. If there were a way of going back to days of nobler more romanticized slaughtering in bullrings, without the controversy, I'd have to say it is more evident in our modern day Jurassic Park flicks where nerdish paleontologists are transformed into fiendishly handsome toreadors. I know I'm not making much sense. Bullfights and dinosaur rustling, what's to compare? One being non-civilized though colorful and bathetic, the other fantastical but forgivable because the beasts bite back. Oh, if only I could explain these machismo machinations. What a ruse. How song and dance does intrigue. Please write me again from South Dakota. I'd like to book one of those dusty dinosaur tours before I go extinct. Bone hunts, bullfights, same difference.
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Mar 10, 2016
Mar 10, 2016 at 9:47 PM UTC
Matador For A New Millennia
Now you're breathing champagne I can feel it sparkle on my skin while you revel in the falseness of forgivable sin Now I can feel the air around you deflate and search for words to stop your own from hemorrhaging and to heal whatever hurts Now you're breathing champagne while you stumble to the places you once called home like the park behind my house and the west end record store Now you can feel the world behind you nipping at your heels like the hundred hungry hounds and the weapons they conceal Now you're breathing champagne like it's oxygen and you are lost at sea. I wrote a note on the bottom of the bottle you can read when you're in pain "keep the memories in your chest and keep breathing champagne."
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Mar 20, 2014
Mar 20, 2014 at 6:51 PM UTC
Champagne
Before I knew that I could fall in love with another boy, I had already had those feelings stolen out from underneath my feet 50 years old cold and old with a lust for blood, and innocence, At 16 years old there wasn’t even a whole lotta innocence left in him, But he worked and moved in places that felt like dark alleyways, and promises that seemed too good to be able to break, The way his tongue slithered out from underneath the church pews, looking to lap up whatever he seemed to have missed from his youth I remember the first time I went to therapy, the way that my therapist kept asking me if I was confused about my sexuality, It shouldn’t have started like that Wrinkly, angry, and full of adrenaline, young in the head and sick in his veins, He liked to touch them, He liked to hold them, His eyes always matching theirs, he made it perfectly clear that he’s not looking for a fight, he’s already fighting, and he knows he’s going to win I’m not a religious person, but I believe the devil comes to all of us in different ways, Sometimes beautiful and forgivable, Other times in a black t shirt and a pair of nikes, disgustingly promising, a place to make you feel comfortable We let so many people use our bodies to prove their points, it’s so exhausting, I can’t tell the difference anymore between wolves and sheep, But I know that he’s a wolf, And I know that no one listens to a boy who cries **** And the blood is always going to be there, The alcoholic breaths taken deep into lungs that promise to carry on, are always going to be there, The hatred and phobia of old men with mustaches and eyes that look just a little too inviting, is always going to be there Your Innocence is always going to be there, just don’t let anyone convince you that they can steal it from you We are more than their torn muscles and “really, I’m a nice guy”s, More than their “I’ve never done this before”s, More than their “You don’t have to mention this to anyone”s, More than what we think we deserve, More than what love used to mean to us We don’t have to love like that anymore, Our bodies are new, Not used anymore, but brand new, We just have to teach our bones how to use the beautiful new skin that they’ve worked hard for So to the man who taught me how to love myself, You are nothing more than a distant memory I’ll continue to pack into the bag of luggage I carry and unload when I need to remind myself that I am more than whatever you made me think I was I forgive you, but only because I forgive myself
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May 23, 2018
May 23, 2018 at 11:13 PM UTC
To The Man Who Taught Me How To Love Myself
Before I knew that I could fall in love with another boy, I had already had those feelings stolen out from underneath my feet 50 years old cold and old with a lust for blood, and innocence, At 16 years old there wasn’t even a whole lotta innocence left in him, But he worked and moved in places that felt like dark alleyways, and promises that seemed too good to be able to break, The way his tongue slithered out from underneath the church pews, looking to lap up whatever he seemed to have missed from his youth I remember the first time I went to therapy, the way that my therapist kept asking me if I was confused about my sexuality, It shouldn’t have started like that Wrinkly, angry, and full of adrenaline, young in the head and sick in his veins, He liked to touch them, He liked to hold them, His eyes always matching theirs, he made it perfectly clear that he’s not looking for a fight, he’s already fighting, and he knows he’s going to win I’m not a religious person, but I believe the devil comes to all of us in different ways, Sometimes beautiful and forgivable, Other times in a black t shirt and a pair of nikes, disgustingly promising, a place to make you feel comfortable We let so many people use our bodies to prove their points, it’s so exhausting, I can’t tell the difference anymore between wolves and sheep, But I know that he’s a wolf, And I know that no one listens to a boy who cries **** And the blood is always going to be there, The alcoholic breaths taken deep into lungs that promise to carry on, are always going to be there, The hatred and phobia of old men with mustaches and eyes that look just a little too inviting, is always going to be there Your Innocence is always going to be there, just don’t let anyone convince you that they can steal it from you We are more than their torn muscles and “really, I’m a nice guy”s, More than their “I’ve never done this before”s, More than their “You don’t have to mention this to anyone”s, More than what we think we deserve, More than what love used to mean to us We don’t have to love like that anymore, Our bodies are new, Not used anymore, but brand new, We just have to teach our bones how to use the beautiful new skin that they’ve worked hard for So to the man who taught me how to love myself, You are nothing more than a distant memory I’ll continue to pack into the bag of luggage I carry and unload when I need to remind myself that I am more than whatever you made me think I was I forgive you, but only because I forgive myself
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44
I don't know if I know you yet, I'm only 19 after all. I don't know if I've made you laugh, But I can already hear it now. I've probably made you smile, I'm sure it made my day. I probably even once have made you cry, I hope it was forgivable. I know one things for sure, Future wife. I already love you.
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Nov 30, 2016
Nov 30, 2016 at 12:18 AM UTC
Dear future wife
A trinity of three styles one man no religion one morning over a lifetime Temporary (we tat too) Temporary love has no precision definition so if I say love you forever, as I do, know know just know this particular phrase is temporary, unique and forgivable as temporary as our permanent tattoo, the one embellishing you,   the one marking me, the two hearts tat that means we are a tat two If you begin a poem, a love, a tat with temporary, usually, but not always, you have already failed See http://hellopoetry.com/poem/if-you-begin-a-poem-with-i/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Invalidation my living bones, twisted. my words, slurred, disfigured with a panache, that makes the mirror turn away, ashamed invalid. in valid. I have been invalidated, I spit at your too late heroics, unwanted. I spit at myself, for missing the moment, when choice was mine I would have self-destructed, freely, reborn in an act of self-validation, be my own living will, if only I had not been enslaved to my ********** Fear invalidation, the Cain mark of every failed man ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bootyoir three day weekend has commenced. it's con-occlusion now in rapid descent mini-vacation, maxi-sensation. the only question remaining, present but debated, as yet undecided, whose turn is it to answer the doorbell, when the delivery guy brings our break~fast for it is forbidden, a transgress, to egress from the bootyoir, except for the call of nature, and naturally, I am calling you, comeback comeback hungry time it's time we co-authored some bootyoir poetry
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Jan 20, 2014
Jan 20, 2014 at 7:58 AM UTC
Trinity: Temporary Invalidation Bootyoir
A trinity of three styles one man no religion one morning over a lifetime Temporary (we tat too) Temporary love has no precision definition so if I say love you forever, as I do, know know just know this particular phrase is temporary, unique and forgivable as temporary as our permanent tattoo, the one embellishing you,   the one marking me, the two hearts tat that means we are a tat two If you begin a poem, a love, a tat with temporary, usually, but not always, you have already failed See http://hellopoetry.com/poem/if-you-begin-a-poem-with-i/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Invalidation my living bones, twisted. my words, slurred, disfigured with a panache, that makes the mirror turn away, ashamed invalid. in valid. I have been invalidated, I spit at your too late heroics, unwanted. I spit at myself, for missing the moment, when choice was mine I would have self-destructed, freely, reborn in an act of self-validation, be my own living will, if only I had not been enslaved to my ********** Fear invalidation, the Cain mark of every failed man ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bootyoir three day weekend has commenced. it's con-occlusion now in rapid descent mini-vacation, maxi-sensation. the only question remaining, present but debated, as yet undecided, whose turn is it to answer the doorbell, when the delivery guy brings our break~fast for it is forbidden, a transgress, to egress from the bootyoir, except for the call of nature, and naturally, I am calling you, comeback comeback hungry time it's time we co-authored some bootyoir poetry
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76
Candlelight is romantic, unless you're in a dungeon. Context changes everything. Context makes you look down at the bridges you build and realize they are plywood: thin, cheap, but soggy enough from this rain that they're impossible to burn. Realism is a myth. Everyone has a lens. People believe what they want to believe, or they believe the worst. Sometimes they alternate, tense and relax at all the wrong moments, a sigh of relief before the crime has been committed. Everyone loves a hero until they are up against them. The unforgivable becomes forgivable in the right context, ****** as self- defense, or in war. Fear and arousal provoke identical symptoms in the body. Sometimes the boundaries bleed together. Sometimes ethics surrender in the face of love.
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May 5, 2017
May 5, 2017 at 5:37 PM UTC
Context?
Seven New Poems For Seven Days #6 & 7: Live like you're dying Perhaps you know the lyric, the song? Live like your dying. Dying caught my ear, my eye, can't imagine why. Con-Textual emendation, Natalino style. Live like your writing. Yes, that makes sense... Embrace with passion each new session Charge every second stanza with ruminating rhythms, Cut the wires to the air traffic control sensory tower, go solo, Pulse each word, beat all into a plowshare, even the anger, Even the hate, dressed to **** in words, forgivable... Grant the mundane, the insane, even the pain of tragedy, You refuse so hardily to glorify, grant it and Record it all - a moment, A royal audience with all Your writing parts. No fancy footing, keep it simple. No jesters in rain puddles, Let images of clouds of sand Born and perish  in other's eyes and sighs, let verbal games bedevil other Wooden puppet princes drinking fairy ales. Huh? Write clean and clear, Let the sheerest wonderment of a new combination, Be the titillation of the tongue's alliteration, No head scratching at oblique verbal gestation, Let words clear speak, each letter a speck, That gives and grants clarification, sensational. You, afternoon quenching Coronas, white T shirts, Sun glazes and later, a summer eve's Sancerre, Wave gazing on the reality of rusted beach chairs, Babies sandy naked, washed in waves of Chardonnay, The traffic-filled word-way highways and bay ways, Exiting at the Poet's Nook, for exegesis & retrieval. Write of: Body shakes and juices, skin-staining tongues, Taking her, afternoon, unexpectedly, her noises your derring-do! Broken tear ducts, the Off switch, so busted, write about Real stuff. Write not in fear of dying Angels delivering bad news in vacuum tubes, Write joyous, psalms of loving life, Live like your writing, Write like your living, So you may die well.
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Aug 1, 2013
Aug 1, 2013 at 6:06 PM UTC
Seven New Poems For Seven Days #6 & 7: Live like you're dying
Seven New Poems For Seven Days #6 & 7: Live like you're dying Perhaps you know the lyric, the song? Live like your dying. Dying caught my ear, my eye, can't imagine why. Con-Textual emendation, Natalino style. Live like your writing. Yes, that makes sense... Embrace with passion each new session Charge every second stanza with ruminating rhythms, Cut the wires to the air traffic control sensory tower, go solo, Pulse each word, beat all into a plowshare, even the anger, Even the hate, dressed to **** in words, forgivable... Grant the mundane, the insane, even the pain of tragedy, You refuse so hardily to glorify, grant it and Record it all - a moment, A royal audience with all Your writing parts. No fancy footing, keep it simple. No jesters in rain puddles, Let images of clouds of sand Born and perish  in other's eyes and sighs, let verbal games bedevil other Wooden puppet princes drinking fairy ales. Huh? Write clean and clear, Let the sheerest wonderment of a new combination, Be the titillation of the tongue's alliteration, No head scratching at oblique verbal gestation, Let words clear speak, each letter a speck, That gives and grants clarification, sensational. You, afternoon quenching Coronas, white T shirts, Sun glazes and later, a summer eve's Sancerre, Wave gazing on the reality of rusted beach chairs, Babies sandy naked, washed in waves of Chardonnay, The traffic-filled word-way highways and bay ways, Exiting at the Poet's Nook, for exegesis & retrieval. Write of: Body shakes and juices, skin-staining tongues, Taking her, afternoon, unexpectedly, her noises your derring-do! Broken tear ducts, the Off switch, so busted, write about Real stuff. Write not in fear of dying Angels delivering bad news in vacuum tubes, Write joyous, psalms of loving life, Live like your writing, Write like your living, So you may die well.
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46
my father knows a midget. it’s not my fault. the two of them share a cigarette outside of a house they’ve never been inside. it’s winter. I scroll across Ohio on a sled with makeshift sail. I associate sorrow with the very short. I associate my father with sentences that end abruptly. I wear the mark he meant to leave on the world. I understand. it is forgivable. there are harder things to get in the way of. a mirror, perhaps. a hand on a bible. my own hand, which tells mother I’m adopted.
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Dec 20, 2012
Dec 20, 2012 at 3:57 PM UTC
recreation
If I confess you my sin, would you finally let me in? Your book say I'm sick, but your words tell me I'm forgivable. If I shout "Amen", would I be a better women? Your followers say you will send me to hell, but your words say show compassion. They say "Prise the Lord!", but I don't know what for. I'm still looking for my hallelujah, maybe I can have faith in you again.
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Jun 2, 2018
Jun 2, 2018 at 4:20 PM UTC
Dear you up there
Dad, daddy, father? What am I to call you, sir? A hug, a handshake, a slap? How am I to greet you, pops? "Happy father's day!" Is that what you want me to say? "I've missed you throughout all these years!" Is that really what you want to hear? What am I to do when we meet again? Tell my failures, tell my accomplishments? But do you even deserve to hear any of these? When you've been gone for all these years? Why did you leave me, dad? Was I not good enough; was I that bad? What was wrong with me that you had to leave? Did you even feel any regret or grief? When I was younger I thought you were dead. That's what I believed though it was unsaid. And now that I know better, What's your reason to render? I just wish I could've known you. Your name, or what you went through. Only once, I've heard from you. But that doesn't suffice for the chances you threw. You were my first role model, daddy. Cause of you, I don't get hurt easily. I've learned leaving someone is inevitable. And that hurting them is forgivable. You taught me that love doesn't exist. All love comes to an end, leaving a bitter mist. I've learned everyone will disappoint you. Although they're not supposed to. You've created, within me, a monster. Aren't you just proud of your daughter? Because of you, I know that I'm worthless. And everyone I value, will leave me regardless. Now my heart's filled with hatred. The suffering you caused has ended. I'm not vulnerable anymore, daddy. Now you're nothing, not even a memory. So, dad or daddy or father, The man who left and threw me away. What now? What do you want me to say? Happy Father's Day? -djs
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Jun 16, 2013
Jun 16, 2013 at 11:11 AM UTC
Father's Day, you say?
Dad, daddy, father? What am I to call you, sir? A hug, a handshake, a slap? How am I to greet you, pops? "Happy father's day!" Is that what you want me to say? "I've missed you throughout all these years!" Is that really what you want to hear? What am I to do when we meet again? Tell my failures, tell my accomplishments? But do you even deserve to hear any of these? When you've been gone for all these years? Why did you leave me, dad? Was I not good enough; was I that bad? What was wrong with me that you had to leave? Did you even feel any regret or grief? When I was younger I thought you were dead. That's what I believed though it was unsaid. And now that I know better, What's your reason to render? I just wish I could've known you. Your name, or what you went through. Only once, I've heard from you. But that doesn't suffice for the chances you threw. You were my first role model, daddy. Cause of you, I don't get hurt easily. I've learned leaving someone is inevitable. And that hurting them is forgivable. You taught me that love doesn't exist. All love comes to an end, leaving a bitter mist. I've learned everyone will disappoint you. Although they're not supposed to. You've created, within me, a monster. Aren't you just proud of your daughter? Because of you, I know that I'm worthless. And everyone I value, will leave me regardless. Now my heart's filled with hatred. The suffering you caused has ended. I'm not vulnerable anymore, daddy. Now you're nothing, not even a memory. So, dad or daddy or father, The man who left and threw me away. What now? What do you want me to say? Happy Father's Day? -djs
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45
*yeah, they cut out my third ****** from my shoulder blade and i turned into a bond girl; oh god, you're not one of those bulletproof people confused about love like a nurse confused by a disease? you are? oh god help me... you'll go far! straight to daddy's pocket purse and saturday night... you'll throw stilettos at chandeliers and expect a catwalk blackout... god forbid that should happen with everyone biting their toenails.* between us we share the bathroom and the bedroom, we sit on the stilt framing see-through of it admirably airy and welcoming stars: wishing for foxes and women respectively, all you can hear is a meow... meow... meow... meow meow... moo... µ... meow... meow interchange between these two rooms in the garden air, it’s like a fetish orchestra giving ‘prior to sleep’ crescendos, and it makes sense to write a forgivable poem of this least content, content with the least as me writing it; well d'uh, of course i had to write it, i wasn't going to stage a boxing match with stella artois losing care for words and taking care of action, i was going to mediate the page like a kite being passed on with paddington bear's secret inscriptions to get from london to sydney; i hope it worked. the drunkard? oh... he's either silent, crying, laughing, or simply reading.
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Oct 18, 2015
Oct 18, 2015 at 7:19 PM UTC
sarcastic impromptu with quarus
i. the blood scared me would mother be angry maybe stitches the hot anger of betrayal mixed like a bonnet pepper to spice the fear and the confusion ii. playing with friends in the neighborhood woods the oldest of three brothers threw a wooden potato masher and struck me in the back of the head iii. the root cellar seemed a good place to hide i ran out of the wood across the open field across the street in through the open garage door the kitchen entrance to the mud room and down the back stairs to the laundry, might she be there, and into the root cellar filled with mold, dust, and musty mason jars iv. hiding there, i forget how long now, but the had the blood stopped running warm and sticky down the back of my neck i felt a swollen lump and an aching head v. i do not remember now how long i hid there in the root cellar but the feeling of betrayal the sense of exclusion the intense longing to be a part of that boyhood group all seemed lost vi. some things are not forgivable deliberate cruelty is not forgivable i hope that cruelty is the only real thing i lost, crying, in that cellar, so long ago deliberate cruelty the one thing of which i have never been guilty
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Apr 13, 2012
Apr 13, 2012 at 10:30 AM UTC
an incident in the neighbors wood, 1968
How many parts? Transient… Tearing apart? Permanent… An angry one. Powerless… It’s never done. Sorrowless… The battle rages. Survival… Till one prevails. Revival… Is there a third? Unaware… Has it been heard? Everywhere… Forces at play. Unresolved… Hear what they say. Unabsolved… Fight for your soul. Unlivable… Your self-control. Forgivable.
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Jan 20, 2019
Jan 20, 2019 at 10:09 PM UTC
Self
Sleep deprived Deranged just a little touch/just a little Tip Crack your Knuckles work your bones All around this town is shaking Shiver/moan All the ways we get horizontal We get up to Get down, always a little off Always a half-second early, drop Let it all fall off Devolve your way to the light, little moth We're so god ****** enlightened here But you've got a long ways to go, always Stagger long my wayward friend Lots of beds but None that feel like home We get weird but It ain't so strange Tie your hair up in tangles like you've been had on the ground Alley dirt on your *** Dance your way to the front Alternate between confident and terrified/cigarettes naked fall Asleep alone On some weird couch While your best friend ***** your ex in another house Forgivable, forgivable Can't be mad at the poet/drunk but it's okay just breathe Your way to the next day sit and look at pictures be jealous Of the you you used to be Shower like you're poison Fill your car and Head South Head South Head South
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May 18, 2013
May 18, 2013 at 3:29 PM UTC
Shake
Wherever the drum is sounded There will his feet and ego lead him For there's none so adept as he At fouling the mood with a few                 home truths when the village brew is frothy and virile There too will his keen appetite him drive For there's none so deferred to as he among Folk hungry for forgivable misdemeanor                 and some home truths He's the inimitable village drunk Endowed with a surfeit of expletives For there's none so free as he here To douse all and sundry in invective ubiquitous                laced with a few home truths This village drunk is high on the power granted him By a grateful captive audience that's allowed him Freedom to free them of secrets and all When he dons his invisble crown and dispenses               a few home truths 'bout everyone
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Oct 20, 2015
Oct 20, 2015 at 11:27 AM UTC
The Village Drunk
Oftentimes we can be inanimate as an insentient being, If not, then lost, torn, or broken, Drifting off into a minimally-conscious stupor, Responding only the the most prominent of stimuli, Quite frankly, most of the time, we aren’t really alive. And this--this is condemnable! This is a pleasureless trick! The human mind has incredible potential, Yet it's hardly active, And essentially quite thick Still, such is forgivable For when we originate the formidable, Dreams come true, Aspirations brought to place Life is brought to life through inspiration! Have you never experienced some urges? Strong desires that can never be explained? They rain down, As a blessing, Better use them-- They're quite shifting, For the love of yourself and your species: Respond to compulsions of ingenuity! Out of all indecipherable anomalies, Creativity is by far the strangest. Yet, strange is commensurate to lovely, If put into practice, Creativity is quite comely. Some might say said compulsions are Granted by the influence of divine beings, Yet I believe they manifest from the divinity IN us, I could grant a rant, An oration, Or a panegyric about compulsions But only under the circumstance Of such an aforementioned trance Oh Life! Such compulsions are The love of me! My pillar of strength, My foundation of truth, Mainstay and My hope! My perceived ESSENCE
0
Jun 2, 2014
Jun 2, 2014 at 10:40 AM UTC
Compulsions of Inspiration
When people call me fun sized I don't know what to say. Like if I was another size the fun would go away? Some of my friends call me Nano, meaning very very small A name I got in middle school and actually don’t mind at all But this is because I own it and find it quite original Unlike the normal comments that really aren’t forgivable They say good things come in small packages but how can I know that’s true When the world is full of big macs, and supersized taboos Small things are always quiet, in corners or on display I don’t want that fate for me, I’d rather be in the way Making change is hard to do when adorable is your namesake I’m activating feminist mode and trying to make an earthquake No I don’t want to be your armrest, yes I’m tall enough for that ride I’ll kick your *** at limbo, just watch me and abide I used to wear high heels, to fit in with the crowd Until a friend my size told me to embrace it and be proud Now I wear flat shoes and am comfortable all the time So when I’m kicking *** I can pivot on a dime Sometimes my legs are tired from the height I’m trying to personify So if you ask if I want a piggy back…that’s actually one thing I won’t deny I like seeing it from your point of view even if it’s jaded I do wish you could see it from mine though and find why my ideals have faded “You’re cute when you're angry” they say, just like it's a compliment But how would you feel if your emotions were reduced to words that aren't dominant? When you grow up in a world where cute is your middle name You don’t trust the ones that call you beautiful but who really is to blame? Let alone if you ever hear **** being said in your direction Have you ever heard of a man getting a cute ******** I’m ready for a shift and I can feel it in my bones They’re aching to dance a new routine, with Beyonce in my headphones Maybe that means they’re catching up, it’s about time for my growth spurt After a life of half pint, shrimp and short stuff, watch as I convert 12/01/2016 Amanda Powell
0
Jan 6, 2018
Jan 6, 2018 at 9:01 PM UTC
Fun Sized
When people call me fun sized I don't know what to say. Like if I was another size the fun would go away? Some of my friends call me Nano, meaning very very small A name I got in middle school and actually don’t mind at all But this is because I own it and find it quite original Unlike the normal comments that really aren’t forgivable They say good things come in small packages but how can I know that’s true When the world is full of big macs, and supersized taboos Small things are always quiet, in corners or on display I don’t want that fate for me, I’d rather be in the way Making change is hard to do when adorable is your namesake I’m activating feminist mode and trying to make an earthquake No I don’t want to be your armrest, yes I’m tall enough for that ride I’ll kick your *** at limbo, just watch me and abide I used to wear high heels, to fit in with the crowd Until a friend my size told me to embrace it and be proud Now I wear flat shoes and am comfortable all the time So when I’m kicking *** I can pivot on a dime Sometimes my legs are tired from the height I’m trying to personify So if you ask if I want a piggy back…that’s actually one thing I won’t deny I like seeing it from your point of view even if it’s jaded I do wish you could see it from mine though and find why my ideals have faded “You’re cute when you're angry” they say, just like it's a compliment But how would you feel if your emotions were reduced to words that aren't dominant? When you grow up in a world where cute is your middle name You don’t trust the ones that call you beautiful but who really is to blame? Let alone if you ever hear **** being said in your direction Have you ever heard of a man getting a cute ******** I’m ready for a shift and I can feel it in my bones They’re aching to dance a new routine, with Beyonce in my headphones Maybe that means they’re catching up, it’s about time for my growth spurt After a life of half pint, shrimp and short stuff, watch as I convert 12/01/2016 Amanda Powell
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33
I'm a ***** because I'm honest. You keep breaking promise's. And you just expect me to not forget when you make your next one? Am I Dumb? Is it not obvious you would need to prove yourself before your trusted? I don't think I'm the dumb one... Again I get to hear how I have no income. No income doesn't make me irrelevant. Nor does it make me useless. And your money can't buy my respect. You can't pay me to shut up. I know you will be sorry... That's something you always are. Me, I only wish I could ignore your ******** But instead here we are. I'm writing, cause I fucken hate that your such a fucken ******* And I bet you regret not being with someone less confrontational, and more forgivable. I can't say what my mind's thinking. I know you don't believe it, but part of it ends with me leaving. Nobody would think this argument is really about a drink... But a promise of any size is a promise worth keeping to me. I'm fucken crazy... I'm out of my mind! Cause I want you to mean what you say all the fucken time! This feeling we created is dangerous. If I were stronger, I'd deal with it better. If you were thoughtful you'd understand my side. I hate a liar. And it makes me sick to my stomach. I can't believe your such a fucken **** FUCKEN AUTO CORRECT TRYING TO MAKE YOU A DUCK INSTEAD!!!
0
Aug 7, 2017
Aug 7, 2017 at 2:40 PM UTC
Fucken Liar
*my interests in / with philosophy are grammatical, "         "        "  /    "    theology      "   linguistic.* as philosophy did not entice grammatical words to express it, as philosophy did not entice grammatical words to be utilised, so thus the study of language became distinct from philosophy, with only english or german or italian teachers using these words as a forgivable badge of honour, but what if a philosopher decided to "steal" these words and use them, what then? it would be secondary, to have learned a language in order to progress to the second tier of language and erase colloquial truths, idiosyncratic truths, etc., those maxims that never really matter, but find me one philosophy book that deals with words rather than ideas by submerging itself in ideas and theories not of the world, not political, metaphysical, theological... but simply grammatical... as to why the pronouns clash when used as the universal stipend of question: who, how, when, what if, etc. it's a minefield of considerations, categorisation of words to only craft learned plagiarisms of the pulpit, that such rigidity in grammatical classification of words is so aged ashen leaky and rickety and sir sneeringly sneaky as to be disregarded by philosophy is a gaping black gravity vortex of travesties. how do i write you ask, with what ease and with what machinery of split second bullet fire (sometimes)? i simply declassified certain words, rearranged their grammatical classification, some permanently, some impermanently; such is this curse of the orthodox theory of language, this ungrammatical denotative classification, before the sun or the moon can be a subject for a poem or some other form of inspiration, it's firstly a subject for nouns; oh i believe in grammar, but not how it's organised for the sole purpose of schooling, the odd jack-in-the-box popup lightning slosh of um um ah when the teacher labours momentarily to utilise grammatical words to explain a bewilderment without actually explaining anything other than the classification coupling obvious(ness) in a poem... esp. one beginning with a conjunction such as and.
0
Sep 12, 2015
Sep 12, 2015 at 8:42 PM UTC
ungrammatical denotative classification
*my interests in / with philosophy are grammatical, "         "        "  /    "    theology      "   linguistic.* as philosophy did not entice grammatical words to express it, as philosophy did not entice grammatical words to be utilised, so thus the study of language became distinct from philosophy, with only english or german or italian teachers using these words as a forgivable badge of honour, but what if a philosopher decided to "steal" these words and use them, what then? it would be secondary, to have learned a language in order to progress to the second tier of language and erase colloquial truths, idiosyncratic truths, etc., those maxims that never really matter, but find me one philosophy book that deals with words rather than ideas by submerging itself in ideas and theories not of the world, not political, metaphysical, theological... but simply grammatical... as to why the pronouns clash when used as the universal stipend of question: who, how, when, what if, etc. it's a minefield of considerations, categorisation of words to only craft learned plagiarisms of the pulpit, that such rigidity in grammatical classification of words is so aged ashen leaky and rickety and sir sneeringly sneaky as to be disregarded by philosophy is a gaping black gravity vortex of travesties. how do i write you ask, with what ease and with what machinery of split second bullet fire (sometimes)? i simply declassified certain words, rearranged their grammatical classification, some permanently, some impermanently; such is this curse of the orthodox theory of language, this ungrammatical denotative classification, before the sun or the moon can be a subject for a poem or some other form of inspiration, it's firstly a subject for nouns; oh i believe in grammar, but not how it's organised for the sole purpose of schooling, the odd jack-in-the-box popup lightning slosh of um um ah when the teacher labours momentarily to utilise grammatical words to explain a bewilderment without actually explaining anything other than the classification coupling obvious(ness) in a poem... esp. one beginning with a conjunction such as and.
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35
Written May 9, 2011 You said that something just didn't make sense. Said you didn't understand. I promised. I promised. I swore this time we'd get it right. I thought, I prayed That I could keep it. Keep my word. Hold it tight. But again, it crashed. And as your voice cracked I could hear. I could tell you felt as if I'd lied. I tried. But couldn't spare your heart. Above everything else, That hurt the worst. And my promises came crumbling down. Falling apart.
0
Aug 3, 2011
Aug 3, 2011 at 7:22 AM UTC
Sorry is For the Forgivable