"familar" poems
Been ******* ova a thousand times
Result of that is trust isnt on my mind
Thats one thing i dont have
So i kno any relationship i start wont last
I try to believe that your not like my past
But after you gave it all its hard to redo that
I have put my heart on the line
Covered my eyes to lies i played blind
Closed my ears to gossip in the streets
Of her cheating and not claiming me
Who would of thought the one you give your soul
Would trade it for what they thought was gold
Make you out to be the fool when time of approach comes
And i loved her so much i believed her how dumb
So now you come in singing a song i have heard
How you would love me forever and my heart you wont hurt
Sorry to be the barrier of bad news
But i must be real and say i dont believe you
Yes i heard you when you said you'd love me on dieing knee
And your promise to never cheat
But your words are oh to familar
I have dejavu with your words this is a bad delima
Trust isnt something i can give easily
As well as my heart my mind cant you see
Take it slow with me i cant go fast
I refuse to get out of us what i did in my past
I be ****** if i get hurt again
Having to hear gossip from my friends
I will not hold the sign of pain any more
Before i go thru it again i will show you the door
I dont want to wait up at night for you to walk in
Or get scared when i see you around another woman
I want to be free of playing the fool
And to be honest i just want to love and be loved without trust issues
Oct 21, 2011
Oct 21, 2011 at 10:25 PM UTC
two people, two worlds, two souls.
living as two; breathing as two.
Wasted time no longer wasted.
One sweet love finally tasted.
My soul is here for you to take.
My heart is here for you to break.
Vulnerable is not just a word, but a way of life.
Through the strife, you were there.
Through the wears the tears, you were there.
In the time where i was barely hanging on.
My heart, it's singing a new song.
For you, for you, only you.
Baby, you amaze me.
listen to my heart beat for you.
Every
Single
Beat
For you.
Pain is ordinary.
love is extraordinary.
You are my world.
The universe can't hold what we have.
From the very depths of the soul.
From ever fiber in my being.
I breathe you, i feel you, i need you.
My dreams came true in you.
Love is no longer imaginary.
It's in my reach, it's in my arms.
The touch of love, the smell of love.
it's familar to me now.
what people say is true, love is blind.
and deaf
and mute.
No distance traveled matches how far i would go for you.
the ends of the earth is too short of a journey.
the moon and back doesn't compare.
your voice is music to my ears.
surround me in your music.
life would be lost without you.
i could never find it.
no matter what to cost, i'd buy it.
even if it lasted for only a day.
A day no longer than a few hours.
Hours past, i miss you.
Tick
tock
tick tock tock tock.
you're not here, i'm not there.
wait for me, my love, wait.
soon we'll be together again.
soon we'll breathe together again.
as one person, one world, one soul.
Mar 28, 2010
Mar 28, 2010 at 3:59 PM UTC
Your touch on my skin,
the way you feel.
You make me smile,
this seems unreal.
Your kiss to my lips,
you give me chills.
Your hands on my back,
give me a thrill.
I kiss you slowly,
your embrace stays warm.
Your hands slide up,
my shirt that's torn.
They rest on my back,
feeling my skin.
My hands in your hair,
how long it's been...
I look up at you,
deep into your eyes.
Up at a man,
wish he was mine.
The familar touch,
the warm embrace.
Makes me tremble,
my heart ache.
I open my eyes,
look up above.
Just a dream,
my heart wishes of.
Sitting on my lips,
I can still feel that kiss.
You're everything I want,
and everything I miss.
Aug 9, 2010
Aug 9, 2010 at 8:39 AM UTC
We all notice it.
We just hate seeing it.
But in families and jobs.
It does exist.
Even, while the person doing it.
Works harder to deny it.
Siblings gets the blunt of it.
And some truly enjoys it.
While others tries to avoid it.
Yes, favoritism.
It's been preached.
That Jesus had his close associates.
But they all had a mission to accomplish.
Grand parents.
We know they know its wrong.
But many parents sings this familar song.
Favoritism.
Where kids even speaks it with truth?
Really.
Do you not comprehend?
That they brighter than many appears.
Notice.
Truly notice.
That the one you love and delight it.
Sometimes goes the distance to be fair.
Many understands the pressure placed upon them.
And these are the ones we wants to be fair.
When it comes to things belonging to them.
Aug 1, 2012
Aug 1, 2012 at 5:30 AM UTC
Raindrops striking the window pane
I need to wipe them off...
I try,
BUT, they keep gushing
Blocking sight, the scene, efforts in vain
Bluring everything, obscuring everything
WAIT
Is it just me?
Then I realise - I'm crying
.
That window will break, someday, some time...
Shall that crack in that window..
"Snap!"
everything shall spill
Rain will flood in, and it's more than my eyes they will fill
Drenching everthing
Someone needs to wipe them away!
I'll try. I'll TRY. I'LL TRY.
Why isn't anyone helping me?
Mum, why do you stray?
.
Raindrops are falling,
Raindrops getting desperate, falling harder.
No one understands why they are, not even my Mother
They etch and carve at my window pains. Slowly..... eventually..... it will end in drains
Slowly.
Eventually.
One day.
.
Hallucinations. More carving, from cheeks to arms
Raindrops turn red.
No longer in drips, more of streams and river beds
Down the clear glass, seemingly steady and seemingly smooth
They keep waking me up in the middle of the night
I can't sleep. On my bed I flop.
That familar tune - monotonomous, dreadful:
"Drip, Drip, Drip, Drop."
Do you have them window pains?
Feb 22, 2012
Feb 22, 2012 at 11:23 AM UTC
In contemporary belief.
A archer went to a shaman for relief.
A answer to ease fear of thoughts.
Finding his way home, the trail of war became too much.
He struggled with the regret of building a life away from what he knew.
When he came to the shaman.
The shaman hung his head low.
Smelling the stinch of blood.
Still he could not turn his back to the archer.
When posed with the young archers question.
He sat puzzled. Summering the long winded statement to "a great change must be made. Else all will fade."
Knowing of the young archers longing for a maiden.
The archer looked puzzled.
Yet the shaman spoke nothing else.
The young archer was called upon.
A war broke on the opposing side.
They needed his skill in fear that survival was utmost.
Without time to think the archer grabbed his bow. His arrows and darted quickly in the direction the war has taken place.
He quickly coiled arrow to bow. In repeated motion until none were left.
A field of arrows covered the small space.
War does something to a man.
A brief clarity after the slaughter of contemplation.
The shamans words dawned upon him like a snake.
He darted to the shamans place in great discoverly.
Finding that the shaman as well as his possessions were completely gone without trace.
He darted back to the field.
Searching through a forrest of arrow.
A heart wrenching feeling stuck on his face.
Guiding his way through the arrows he found a familar hand. Connected to a familar torso.
A face stuck in agonizing eternity.
The shamans words made more sense.
Backing away from the body.
Thinking deeply. Damning his hands.
The thing that came as habit.
He broke his bow in the reflection of his maiden's eyes.
This war gone astray inside of him
Feb 13, 2017
Feb 13, 2017 at 12:00 AM UTC
Sometimes I wonder, how I will make it alone,
When all those in my life have refused to see what I have always shown?
The fact that I am ill, yes indeed it is true,
A mental illness chains me, physical illnesses too.
Depression has been a friend, for as long as I know,
Panic and anxiety, do you even need to be told?
Am I paranoid? Or is that what you want me to think?
In the next minute, I am dissociated, or cannot think.
I am over here and over there,
"Hello!" or "Goodbye",
What is seriously wrong with my mind?
Friends, they stay a distance, and I don't need them anyways,
Family? Forget it...
I lie and I lie.
I pretend that I feel nothing,
Nothing touches me,
But truth be told I am terrfied,
My heart, as if, bleeds.
Perhaps you've heard of Fibro,
Or IBS as well,
Maybe you know Chronic pain,
And a fatigue like hell.
Maybe your are familar with being in constant pain,
Maybe you know all the pills, over and over again.
"How can it be hard to get out of bed?"
"How hard can it be to ignore what's in your head?"
You won't understand, even though I've tried,
No I'm not special, especially when I'm chained to a bed.
I've been told I am older now, "Hurry up and get a job",
"You will be nothing when you get started and move on."
"Can't you just stop whining? Grow up and live life?
Can you just do something rather than sleeping and wasting time?"
"You worry about this, you cry about that, you want this but don't even try to relax."
"You are doing nothing but sitting around,
So what if you are sick? We all are, all year round."
I am the lazy, the black sheep the failure,
The worthless, dissapointment, the immature.
"I am the would have been, could have been, should have been, never was and never ever will be",
Did I really just quote a song? Indeed, I've felt what they really mean.
I am weak or stubborn, Ms. "why" and "Okay but how come?"
Believe me, there is no look or answer I've been given, that I have not sawn.
There is help out there, there are programs and places to go,
But who would want to love someone who struggles to get up and go?
Who may be sick for the rest of their lives,
Who doesn't even feel worthy of time?
People do what they have to, to go off and survive,
But the next time you want to go and ridicule someone,
Please know, they try...
Aug 3, 2017
Aug 3, 2017 at 4:31 AM UTC
my yellow eyes roll
as salt slides from the sides
of yours.
these sobs,
these sobs are familar
to me.
clearly etched into my memory.
it was the same with She,
that red-headed *********
it was the same with Nature's Criminal,
and every pore of her persian skin.
my yellow eyes return,
and my stomach turns,
and my muscles tighten,
and my smile lightens,
and my burden builds,
all the while,
your limbs twitch,
your lips stitch,
and your eyes run scared.
all the while,
my cancerous tongue lay still.
as your accusations
ricochet and fall flimsily all
around me.
i sharpen my teeth on the notches
of your spine.
remind you,
you were once wholly mine.
silence the cries.
tell you everything is fine.
your blood begins to flow.
the worst of me you get to know.
i'm a monster.
i'm a ******
i'm a plaster cast
of your prince charming.
let the yellow eyes roll.
May 3, 2010
May 3, 2010 at 1:53 PM UTC
I chased down the bustling road
when I caught a glimpse of her walking down.
Today I stand, impatient;
my finger thumping a pithy tune,
as she climbs down the stairway,
one step at a time.
*Time capsules are concealed
in objects that we rarely see,
and only notice when silence visits
and sits in the middle of the room,
unpleasently.*
Today was on such day,
when my foot accidentally brushed
a tea cup that had bravely withstood,
the anomalies of my childhood,
and leaning back on its broken handle
took delight,
on my sudden emotional plight.
*After years of unrelenting boundaries
the yearning to jump over,
turns into the ultimate goal.
Definace, with a vengence,
and fury so grave,
mars conscience by its senstaions,
makes it depraved.*
Forgone was the leap
that bound my heart with rules
of love, loyatly and frienship,
for it now only understood,
the twinge of ache it gained
whenever it recognized,
a then familar face.
*In a world fantastical,
there is order and right.
And mistakes are begotten
to only be forgotten
and set some memories aside.*
I held my hand out,
on the last stair, she looked up,
and in brown eyes, just like mine,
I saw days that now defined,
our relationship,
as mother and daughter.
*We talk of far shores and setting sail,
with our two feet firmly rooted in the bay.
The anchors aren't pulled, the rigs aren't checked,
we are rarely ready, if ever,
at our fancy's behest.*
In the seconds that she took to step down;
seconds in which I re-lived a lifetime,
I ran down the same road,
the bustling street with the same goal.
I held my mother's hand
and let go.
Dec 16, 2012
Dec 16, 2012 at 11:35 PM UTC
SO ANGRY
where do i go
do i go home
why did the abuser
have to feel so familar
so happy
i got out in 2 days
instead of longer
it hurts
that I felt the pain again
ANGRY
so
ANGRY
at the patriarchy
at the men
who claim to be good
when they are really just
fetishizing
hating creatures
who believe
that they can try to control me
manipulate me
influence me
or bend me to their ways
but SORRY
to break you
YOU CAN"T
BREAK ME
OR FORCE ME
TO DO ANYTHING
I will be respected
no matter
who I must avoid
or cut off
I CHOOOSE ME
NO MATTER WHAT
I am tired of men ruling my life
I am
as well as all of the ancestors behind me
raging against most of the horrible men out there
For the good men out there
I can't wait to meet more of you
and to actually converse
and have nice interactions
Mar 8, 2023
Mar 8, 2023 at 5:55 PM UTC
As shadows begin to engulf,
The hues that come from a well lit day.
From the multicolored palette,
Pastels turn to gray.
Shadows are forming ,
It's near the end of day.
But still,
In the eve's half light,
I spy the glimmering ,
A floret of white.
The first to catch the new mornings rays,
And the last to show through the darkening haze.
And so it cycles from light to dark.
The familar becomes unknown,
And place's of refuge,
Are now a gambit to run.
The darkness seems to lessen the gap,
That the dawn had once split wide.
But all's the same
'Cept the loss of light.
And maybe just a tiny fright
From the circuition,
This will pass.
To convert the obscurity to comprehension.
And so reveal,
It's all a trick of the mind's eye.
Nov 27, 2020
Nov 27, 2020 at 10:41 PM UTC
I'm surrounded by
Whispers,
Whispers,
Whispers,
I heard them in the dark.
I heard them early in the winter of December.
I heard
Their whispers, my whispers all in one dream.
Wake your eyes & get up slow show yourself, imagine everyone falling deeply in love
Imagine yourself floating across the sky
Don't worry you'll be just fine, just talk to the whispers in the sky,
Whispers,
Whispers,
Whispers,
burn baby burn,
no return to the familar choir,
as you sink into the fire,
I hear them in my thoughts,
just creeping
Listen,listen
I hear them everywhere I go,
They can't seem to disappear
Whispers,
Whispers,
Whispers,
Close to my heart,
Close to my mind,
The whispers say we shall never be apart
Dec 14, 2012
Dec 14, 2012 at 1:56 PM UTC
I started smoking cigarettes again
Something about having another thing burning between my fingers
Besides your hands
Makes me dismiss the feeling that lingers
when I think of you
Since I can’t have your taste in my mouth
Menthol will have to do
I am addicted
Isn't this sounding familar?
You **** me inside starting with my lungs
Like the small nicotine sticks do with every inhale
I would much rather your slender fingers in my hand
But for $10 a pack they last around a lot longer than you do
No matter how much you rot me from the inside out
A piece of me will always be yours
Always
May 10, 2014
May 10, 2014 at 10:24 AM UTC
you awaken in an unfamilar place
it's smells of bleach & latex
where are you?
you see your family
surrounding a bed
with a girl whose body has taken refuge on
she looks weak
her skin is pale
why does she look so familar?
your mother has her head in her hands
she can't stop crying & whispering, "it's my fault."
you try to comfort her, but you seem to go right through her
nobody seems to notice you
your dad sits alone
across the room from your mother
they don't comfort each other
they never loved each other
a doctor comes inside the room
your parents stand up & rush over to him
he says it was too late to save her
too late to flush out the pills
she was already gone
that's when it hits you,
hard.
the girl isn't a familar face, shes you
you couldn't take it, you finished the bottle
& you said you had no regrets.
you try to take it all back
but darling, it's far too late
you're already gone.
a.c.
Sep 24, 2013
Sep 24, 2013 at 10:59 PM UTC
He had a love that lasted years
I have had nothing
Even remotely close
Only what is fleeting
Rough lips and selfish tongues
Greedy hands and reckless touch
The only love I have ever known
Left without warning
I have never known love to be forgiving
Or patient and kind
That kind of love
Is not one I am familar with
I am well aware
That he is not here to love me
He is here to worship this body
That most days,
Doesn't even feel like my own
Most days
My skin is a jacket
That stretches over fragile bone
I only wear it because I have to
Because this world pokes and prods with sharpness
And there are only so many times someone can break completely
These tattoos
Are just a shield for vulnerability
Piercings,
Nothing more than metaphor for puncture
There are so many wounds still awaiting healing
And although this body
Hasn't been fully occupied by its tenant in years
I will let him spend a night in it
Let him believe that it is nothing beyond ordinary
I will let him carve his name into the arch of my back
Fingernails to flesh
Palms to ribcage
And for one night
He will make believe love to me
We will make believe intimacy
Make believe that lust is something
That can only be felt more than just momentarily
We will pretend that our affection is warranted
And be unbound
In the morning
He will wash my name from his mouth
Swallow it entirely
And forget he ever tasted it
Tomorrow
He will wipe my DNA from his skin
Rinse off every last trace of my lips
And I will do the same
There is no reason
That I should be something he comes back to
There is no reason for me to draw myself indelible
When all I will ever be
Is a lone evening of desire
Nobody wants to get to know the girl
Who barely knows herself
Nobody will ever remember the girl
Who forgets who she is every time she gives herself away
This is a girl
Who calls herself woman
But still cries in the dark
And someone
Who knows love as well as he does
Will never want someone
Who doesn't even know
What love is
Someone like that
Is better suited
For one night.
Sep 12, 2014
Sep 12, 2014 at 5:46 PM UTC
I bid you stay my queen of hearts
Tarry here till morn
Take not your love and go your way
'Tis allegiance I have sworn
I bow my head in purest heart
Consumed by shameless desire
Quicken me with one last smile
Enough to quiet this fire
I press you please, consider fate
Let its spirit guide your path
Turn not unto your heart of stone
Lean not toward its wrath
Cast not aside familar dreams
Nor memories patiently earned
Douse this flame of your rejection
Where the fire of love once burned
Quench this thirst that haunts my soul
Heed my beckon call
Tarry here just one more hour
Lest our love should fall
May 2, 2011
May 2, 2011 at 10:01 PM UTC
I crave the feeling of being whole
To feel complete
But too often my thoughts come in waves and take parts of me away with the tide
It leaves me with the familar void that needs to so often be filled
Several shots of ***** later
A few drags later
A couple one night stands later
I am filled
I am filled until I wake from the feeling of water on my toes once again
May 21, 2014
May 21, 2014 at 12:14 AM UTC
Abandoned in every manner
I sleep in a shallow pool of blood
Every correction possible made
Clarity never came at such a price—
Between loans, loss and black livery
My mission was clear
From obsession I rose again
But when will I return to ashes?—
Familar visions I found solace in
Sent familiar fear through my veins
Created only from a life of necessary impurity
To create the new dogma I now adopt—
I stand before what I once rejected
With no choice but to embrace it with open arms
And in that I retreat again
So that I too shall return to the dust I once was—
Paradise, 2018
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 6:22 AM UTC
I allowed myself to be loved by you.
Moving from across the street to a building that I always wondered what was inside.
I am not at all innocent.
Allowing myself to become busy.
Never really having the time to indulge in something I always wanted to do.
A new building in a familar place.
So welcoming.
Freeing myself of everything around.
The clock loosely ticking away.
The world no longer the same.
The steps taken from across the street becoming my favorite.
Remembering the first time I looked at you.
The term busy no longer existed.
Allowing myself to come at ease.
Opening the door.
Crazy how everything just happened.
Doing something unexpected, forgetting that I had something to do.
I allowed myself to be unexpectedly loved by you.
Completely forgetting where the door was.
Losing track of time
Feb 13, 2017
Feb 13, 2017 at 1:29 AM UTC
Old friend and familar demon can I offer you a drink?
Watch the fire fade in winters decay and **** all hope filled tought's.
Does the fall find you empty as my jaded soul?
Another round ?
Will you stay to see me erase all that used to be who does stand's befor you now?
Will you vanish like friends who get a glimpse of the dark that is masked in light?
So many questions to many vacant thoughts and a fires crackle is it cold being on the outside
most all your life.
A homeless sense and a stranger in every crowd.
You served me well but times coming for us to part.
This road i can't take you as so many times befor.
Empty bottle and erased reason im a driffter in endless times of nothing true.
Maybe this time i'll rid myself of the misery ive often so embraced.
Old dog's seldom run far unless to keep you from a death's view.
Sometime's you just cant pull it togather anymore.
Headlights give a view ive called life for far to long
Im tired but always no matter how far I run
I cant escape you.
I drink one last and toast the emptyness ive become
A spark although bright must always fade.
Life but a season and time a slow count to sure end.
It seems this time the jokes on me.
Oct 3, 2011
Oct 3, 2011 at 5:20 PM UTC
Your love so intense
I have only to shut my eyes
To feel your presence
I can feel your hands on my body
I can taste the sweetness of your mouth
I can smell that smell of lust
That I once warned you about
Oh you are the kind of lover
I will never forget
So strange it is to me
knowing you all these years
Yet we have just really met.
Mar 5, 2015
Mar 5, 2015 at 10:41 PM UTC
We were walking through the field,
staring out at Boston.
I was choking on the whisper
of a memory of another here.
I gathered two wild flowers
and I showed them to you:
the familar
Queen Anne's Lace has always been my favorite,
and the new
*I don't know what this one's called,
but it's purple and pretty.
They're both so lovely together.*
I don't think you understood that
I was talking about us.
Aug 14, 2015
Aug 14, 2015 at 11:08 AM UTC
when i slip into
a phase, I find it
exhuasting now.
every minute, a test of character.
every hour, a new demon to fight.
They hide inside, chip away at the interior, until it's like peeling paint.
Those days, I feel barren and broken, my detail is failing.
I watch jagged pieces splinter away and drift in the air
cruelly landing underfoot in
the crackly, dead leaves
that the streetsweeper missed that week.
"But what if..." it says. And that's all it takes.
I become frigid inside.
I feel it slide in my brain, clicking
and prying inside.
crooning, throat just out of reach; caressing, hands just out of reach
until it slaps me to the familar ground,
where I frantically gasp.
It's laughing now, as I curl back to darkness,
wiping my silent tears from my red cheek and my cramping heart from my sleeve.
My head pounds as my
unwelcome, yet comfortable
friend of mine simply
opens the door.
I can't even lock it.
Apr 9, 2013
Apr 9, 2013 at 10:01 PM UTC
Just a note to those here who
Are not familar with me
I AM NOT BERYL DOV
And for those that do know me
WELL DANG!!!!You already knew that.
Jul 3, 2015
Jul 3, 2015 at 4:32 AM UTC