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1d · 219
in the silence
Ash 1d
the shadow of that dagger
still hovers behind me
waiting, aiming to strike
Apr 17 · 214
A midnight walk
Ash Apr 17
An oath uttered to none is an oath unbound,
but the watchers, the gargoyles of the sky and the earth,
are all witness in the night
Apr 5 · 199
Remnants
Ash Apr 5
Smoke, ember, and ash—
remnants of flame,
memories, imprints of a taste so sweet,
of heart, bridge, and stake set alight,
drifting on the wind,
coming to rest in my open palms
Mar 14 · 90
a poison so sweet
Ash Mar 14
hope coiled like a serpent around my neck
suffocating, like the smoke that fell from your fire,
burning away everything that stood here

but I kneel in the blackened soil
and rub charcoal and ash in the webbing
between my fingers—where yours once rested

appeased, she slackens, falling from my shoulders
as though dead, before slithering into the night,
beckoning—to follow her farther into the wasteland

I find my footsteps falling in her path
though she asks only one thing of me—to believe
to ration my reason, starve off my doubt

I protest with silence, but hope is a dangerous thing,
and knows that despite her, I will always return—
and never with a sword
Feb 27 · 74
A woman's reputation
Ash Feb 27
If my name's been dragged through the mud
Then at least it left a mark

What are you without cursing my legacy?
Feb 21 · 144
Smoke signal
Ash Feb 21
I wake and look to the trees
Sunlight lapsed for sodden fog
Grey coiled around every needle,
Smoke-signal wisps into the night

I wake and look to the trees
Blinding white dusted like ash
Mourning, slowly, the forest whole
Bends under the weight
Ash Feb 17
The choir swells, wails, their song drowned
by your splinters of rapture in the night...
When you stand atop rubble and lingering flame
who will remain to laud your victory?
Feb 14 · 532
The death of daydreams
Ash Feb 14
And so I dig a shallow grave
for the fairytale castles
All of a love that never was,
laid softly in the earth
Feb 13 · 226
lucent
Ash Feb 13
my heartstrings were woven delicately,
soft and sweet, every pluck and tug
dedicated to some passion, conviction,
and the last, to soul-crushing devotion
Feb 8 · 379
Signed
Ash Feb 8
An arrow pinched
Between delicate fingers,
Gently nocked, but aiming true,
Pulled taut against the bowstring.

It sings through the air,
Harmonious, but decisive,
And it strikes silently,
Knowing only one destination.

...And so begins Cupid's hunting season.
Feb 8 · 1.2k
If You'll Have Me
Ash Feb 8
I'd paint you in dreamscapes—
visions of rolling hills
and fields of autumn leaves,
your form draped in grass
and sunset dapple—
porcelain, delicate beauty,
a work of art, the way I see you
Feb 5 · 121
shaper
Ash Feb 5
Those delicate eyes
catch the light, glinting
'cross this fickle sword,
my evasive desire
Feb 2 · 231
loft
Ash Feb 2
there is no greater love
than one that transpires despite adversity—
one that stands tall and sturdy as the oak,
unmoved by any wind that dares to face it
Jan 17 · 1.3k
Dear son of Michelangelo
Ash Jan 17
Why, you must be a man made of marble—
What else could have sculpted a face so beautiful
And a form so lithe, yet untouchable?
Jan 12 · 153
without witness
Ash Jan 12
I walk a ghost among the mourners,
plucking stitch
after stitch
into my own burial shroud

—with a rose
tucked into the sleeve

as though one day,
a dedicated love might find itself here
Jan 9 · 467
facing the sea
Ash Jan 9
if I can make only one request
would you dream of me?
Dec 2023 · 913
hopeless romantic, def.
Ash Dec 2023
the veil of glamour and desire
that shrouds a heart, beaten so black
and blue, that deep down, revolts the
idea of ever being
loved, adored, or anything but
the maiming devil it knows well.
Dec 2023 · 829
desolate
Ash Dec 2023
i grieved the fall
before i even took the leap

pulled off to the lookout
searched the vast horizon

and in the salt spray,
in every leaf and bramble
found you wanting
Nov 2023 · 352
bogeyman at the masquerade
Ash Nov 2023
what figment of me
lives in your whispers?
what shadow dances
on your crumbling walls?
Nov 2023 · 545
The Ideal
Ash Nov 2023
Our first glance was like lightning
Bright and instant, gone as fast as it came
But I knew then I'd be forever changed

Coffee dates and long dances
We were a whirlwind, falling like the rain
Outside my window on that car ride home

"Forever," our hearts whispered
We bound our eternal fates together
And at that altar, I made a promise

I'd cut through your darkest storms
Like the cutlery you got for Christmas
Two years ago, when your mother was there

And I’d remember it all
From the way every strand of your hair fell
Down to the light in your eyes on that day

"Til death do us part," we say…

But I wake, and you were an ideal
Nov 2023 · 639
Delicate
Ash Nov 2023
I dream of an eye that regales me
In all this earthly form, not with greed
But as the masterwork of God’s brush
Nov 2023 · 853
gale song
Ash Nov 2023
the wind began to warble,
and so the blackbird whispered
"my heart is not a weapon
and my love is not a game"

Nov 2023 · 761
moonstone
Ash Nov 2023
our eyes meet
and in that one moment
time seems to crystallize
every movement fractal
every last piece of me

falling
       into
  place

but I blink
and your memory fades
fast as it was dreamt of
Oct 2023 · 919
I am an oak in the wind
Ash Oct 2023
Every time I have wallowed in my tears,
Every time I have drowned in my grief,
Every time I have loved and lost,
I remind myself—
It has been worse, and I have made it this far
I have made it this far
So that I can see through to better days
Sep 2023 · 706
you, despite everything
Ash Sep 2023
how do I have memories
of something I never had?
my daydreams are fanged,
years of pained flashbacks
that were never lived
Sep 2023 · 416
kintsugi
Ash Sep 2023
they wove me of delicate thread
now years-frayed and blood-stained
and even though my hands are torn
they still pull the needle, pull me back together
Sep 2023 · 826
rural
Ash Sep 2023
here, all the trees are evergreen
steady amidst the bone-deep chill
for only they can pierce the sky
and root so deeply to be unmoved

oh, our beautiful iron maiden

where the gilded spikes stand tall,
steady amidst the suffering
for only they can pierce our hearts
and be unmoved by the screams
Ash Aug 2023
like catching a falling knife together
double-edged, our blood on each other’s hands
Aug 2023 · 145
Untitled
Ash Aug 2023
I’ll always be in your rear view mirror
Even when I’ve left you in the dust
Jul 2023 · 470
in every moment
Ash Jul 2023
i am an unwilling passenger
upon the vessel of time
Jul 2023 · 225
untitled
Ash Jul 2023
I only had the nerve to dream
and you, the will to shatter me
Jul 2023 · 664
defibrillate
Ash Jul 2023
they don’t believe me
they don’t believe me
they don’t believe me
they don’t believe me

maybe if I repeat it enough it will lull me into some sense of calm
it will become a fact, not a knife through my chest
Jul 2023 · 617
eleven, seventeen
Ash Jul 2023
i am so tired
of being everything
all at once
Jun 2023 · 433
chapter one
Ash Jun 2023
sometimes I listen to my old favorite songs and I think
of how those words don’t echo in my heart anymore
how the chains we shared have formed my
feathered wings,
and now I breathe, I breathe the salt air
not where we started, but where I begin
I am free.
Jun 2023 · 611
light
Ash Jun 2023
for once, I have known peace
and it has known me.
Jun 2023 · 515
theatrics
Ash Jun 2023
in my dreams, I fall upon the altar
time and time again, the dagger
piercing my heart, for you to witness me
Jun 2023 · 743
prologue
Ash Jun 2023
tapestries woven of the stars
fading into our dappled sunrise
there, your wings carry me softly—
to be my dove, or my icarus?
Jun 2023 · 612
am I dreaming or scheming
Ash Jun 2023
is it the golden threads of fate
or your puppet strings on my hand?
May 2023 · 555
untitled
Ash May 2023
I find myself looking back
holiday lights blurring,
fading into falling stars
I have a lot to think about
May 2023 · 949
glean
Ash May 2023
we fell like the last rain
bookending a bone-deep chill
something to cling to, the pain
washed out from the windowsill
we both deserve better
Jan 2023 · 2.9k
appel du vide
Ash Jan 2023
one strike of that blackened match
and a million chromatic threads unwound
leaving only an ashen husk,
my timeless vessel
Dec 2022 · 1.3k
epilogue
Ash Dec 2022
I found myself, but I suppose it's time to do it alone
I'll weave my melancholy into my tapestry of prose
And I'll raft through the storm ahead without you
Ash Dec 2022
How many times
have I stood on this precipice
and turned away?

---

I think I'll give myself to the open sea
Throw my arms out wide, breathe
I haven't lived in so long
Dec 2022 · 1.2k
undoing
Ash Dec 2022
I'll unravel our thread before it's even spun
my dreaming and my pining and my manifestations
they'll be smoke choking out our garden before it's even planted
Ash Dec 2022
you shape my waking hours
I try to pick a nice perfume
I make sure I leave early
I look around just to see you for a fleeting moment
and I smile when I do

I pace just to daydream of you
your hands on my hips, your lips on mine
I turn the lights off early
and as I drift off to sleep, I pretend I’m in your arms

I could scream it from the rooftops
(if it weren’t a secret)
you’re my muse, you’re my one wish
I want you, and only you
Ash Dec 2022
poinsettias and
pine needles and
cranberry spice and
you,

the golden lights reflected in your eyes,
your hand rising to touch my face, and

...nothing

you dissolve back into the pool of my daydreams,
our memories swept downstream in the river of my mind
gone as quick as they came, cold, unforgiving, never mine
Dec 2022 · 669
a few little dilemmas
Ash Dec 2022
Does he dream of me the same way I do?
Does he fall asleep pretending I'm in his arms too?

Am I ******, alone in my wanting?

My imagination is the only place he's mine, so I go back
Will I have his hand in mine, looking to the horizon?
Will he sink into my eyes the way I want to drown in him?
Will he decorate me with flowers the way I dress my heart with him?

I don't even know what my favorite flower is
If he asked, what would I say?

I've never needed an answer before
Nov 2022 · 466
A season of war
Ash Nov 2022
Thus begins the long winter,
the tolling of the bells and the names,
but now I look its wrath in the eyes.
Aug 2022 · 614
This time, I promise
Ash Aug 2022
I have searched for a hundred years
Whittled to the bone, overgrown by silver ivy
But here, in my final resting place, you have been
And now your image lingers in my garden of respite

Why don't you stay awhile?
I'll carve your name into my burial shroud
him.
Jan 2022 · 235
genesis
Ash Jan 2022
was there even a sound?
tumbling to the earth
landing awash in our sins
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