And I guess I'm just trying hard
Trying hard to convince myself
That I don't care about you anymore
That every day I think about you
Less and less

And I guess I was
But at some point
I saw you again
And things are complicated now
Now I'm thinking about you
And I keep lying at myself
More and more

I'm broken, you see.
Broken like the shattered window
That once held my sad reflection.
I'm in so many little pieces,
That just won't fit back together.
Yet I've tried to fix myself,
Defeat the depression.
But the "darkness" is all I seem to know.
My wrists and belly are covered in faint, thin lines.
Each one telling of a time that I felt hopeless,
A time that I just didn't think I'd make it.
And as I run my fingers over the scars,
I wonder if they'll ever fully fade.
If I'll ever rid myself of my demons.
Maybe if I keep fighting,
I'll win this war with myself.

Hope
i see him sit across from me
with trouble in his eyes.
he questions why he did it.
wonders why he lives in lies.

a world of uncertainy is flooded to his mind.
his eyes reflect his troubled thoughts
and words of love unsaid.

memories flow to the front of my mind
tears are brought to my eyes.
so long its been, that you've been gone
but i keep feeling it over and over again.

I know inside i love you.
always have and always will.
a part of me hopes that someday soon
you'll come up to me and tell me, all the things i hope for.

but for now i wait, in this chair across from you.
catching you staring at me, feeling your eyes study my face.
your looking for an answer
a thought you can embrace.

but nothing can replace this
this feeling called love
i will live forever in your mind
you won't ever forget me
i'll be in your memory
for all eternity

and i sit across from you
hoping that you'll give
give into what i know you feel
tough feelings that you cope
i'd give anything to have you back with me
but for now, all i can do
is hope.

One arm wrapped delicately around her waist,
you can feel her wasting away even though
she says she ate not two hours ago,
she only consumed one more part of herself,
so recklessly trying to vanish
from this world she does not understand.
Drink after endless drink calms the monster
scratching at her bones looking for an escape
because he is eating her alive,
tearing every docile limb from its foundation
trying to make her feel something
hoping hope and passion can break
the haze of whiskey on an empty stomach.
-
When somebody is dedicated to a lifelong
suicide you cannot save them, only love them
through each poor decision ; one arm around her waist
trying so hard to protect her from this world,
the evil upon us.