You keep using me
Without knowing you are doing so
And I allow it to happen
Ee use each other in the name of
Friendship
But we both know that’s
A ploy
We aren’t real
Friends
We are just filling a role
That the other needs
In this time and space
And that was fine
Until I fell into your color blue
And now I can’t play the part
That you cast for me
I can’t just float out here
And swoop in when the time is right for you
You see
It doesn’t work that way
I am the softest place to land
But I can’t be that for you
When you are rock hard
I am the sweetness you crave
I am the vulnerability you need
But you can’t see that
So I have to walk off this stage
Stop acting as if I can be the girl
Who plays this role for you
Because you can’t see
That I am worth it

Im tired of watching
life fly by
like i havent lived
to my full extent
if im going to die
it better be for something
crazy amazing
and worth it
Such as
sky diving
finding a online friend that i NEED to see
just once
Saving a puppy from being run over
taking the bullet for someone i love
I think these would be worth it
Not to the loved ones
that hide their worry
but still

I mostly keep it to my self
Behind the corn flakes, on the shelf
For me It's all about the stealth
The issue of my mental health

Apparently, it's always been
Around my head and in between
But why would I share it with you Irene
Is mine, its for me... Its not your scene

It's only me that struggles and suffers
Hiding my head right under the covers
Doubting myself and scaring off lovers
It's only me, none of the others

Because of that I hide it away
Behind closed doors so they would say
I wish the whole lot would just go away
Then I could continue with my day

But hang on, of course I can make it leave
By wearing my feelings on my sleeve
By shouting about it from the eaves
All I need to do is believe

I could write some poems or even a book
And encourage people to take a good look
I could ask them to hang it on the library hook
Right out the front, Not in the nook

I'll post it on Facebook and all social media
Jesus, it's Depression, not schizophrenia

I'll start next week. That's a good plan
I'll be right in a month. I know that I can
Depression, anxiety I will ban
Then I shall be a bigger man

I mostly keep it to my self
Behind the corn flakes, on the shelf
For me It's all about the stealth
It's the issue of my mental health

It's the air,
the waft of coolness that erodes at heat till its steal.
the spread of grey sky; miles and miles.
A phantom limb of memories.
The air isolates and confines,
enough to hide the horizon,
enough for the longing of heat to feel numb,
Impassible; however attempting.
to subside a feeling that makes your gut twist.
A bitter disgust for yourself and the way you let others treat you.
Impassible, yet passive
as you do anything to untangle the sick feeling that lingers.
It's the air,
a reminder on a day like this your worth left you empty.

before i say
let me
kiss you
only your hand only
as i can not do
more

my nations habits' prevent me
my will blame me
as i want to see
you so clear
as an angel comes near

and kidnapped a wealth
that for me my worth

but i will have no mercy
I whispered
into the inner spirit ear
I love you
and enforce taking your heart
and run away

could you catch me?

The consequences of your actions
Are a burden I suppose I asked for
When I agreed to belong to you
When I offered you sanctuary in my arms

Yet tonight - they are so heavy
And I no longer wish to carry them
My legs are so tired darling
Please just admit that you were wrong

My legs are so tired darling
Break the generational chain that binds us to this nonsense.

I wasn't raised like you,
           I wasn't a full loaf of bread..

You were cut with the decency
        of a raised moment worth
                      a cut a slice pride.


Me, I wasn't like you,

misshapen
      raised morality..
                      you were perfection.


I was an uneven rising.

               Never to be cut like
you.

I was cut and never sliced in

a  correct line..
  

More like an uneven episode of
                 life,
burnt on some
                             sides....

not realising the potential of the other..
               I was just ill positioned in life.

I'm never going to respect you,
                       I'll just walk on the cracks.

And you'll avoid me, but I'm more pure than




               your morality, as I'm never plastic...


You faker than I'll ever be...
                               I'll die before you,

but at least i died realistically ..