I guess I have a need
To long for something
Something missing
Or simply shiny and new

Something I’ll never have
Always there in the cold
Never satiated or diminishing  
****** both ways

Everything
That comes out my pen
My brain
And my wrists
Unsatisfying
Just simply
Not enough
It hard
To feel proud
When its nothing
But trash

Walk a tightrope as thin as a wire
Practice until your feet are on fire
Perform amazing feats, hear the applause
Smile and feel proud your life has a cause
Everyday I reach for the same thrill
Without it I just can’t feel fulfilled
If I’m not making people around me happy
Then what’s the point? My heart is empty

i want to run away from here,
i’m unwanted and viewed as eternal emptiness.
i knew it in my heart that I should’ve never cared,
Because the reason for our fall always ends here.
For thinking you were the one,
For once,
I am wrong.
Overthinking too much,
I assume where we went lost.
Took too long to reply,
My heart is shriveled up and dead, and I can no longer move along.
Just a look in your eyes,
Brings memories to my mind,
I love you so much.
I wish that I could remove the flaws hidden behind us,
A trail of unrequited love.
From afar, I see that your footprints cross my heart,
Too much to bear, I sit and stare at the clock.
Too numb to feel something that felt so real,
Maybe you weren’t the one to heal,
You were just a temporary deal,
Just like everyone else.
I could’ve been yours,
Our perspectives are too **** drawn,
Can’t you see?
We’re falling apart,
pretending to be something we’re not.
We’re nothing at all, I understand...
I wish that we could’ve lasted forever,
Instead, you abused the pact and treated me as whenever,
Oh, I just wanted you all to myself.
Reassurance and security,
Both things that met when I was with you.
Call me a selfish girl,
A cruel fool,
But my emotions will inevitably choose you.
I will miss you my dear,
But, you were the cause of our downfall.
Running away from my problems again,
goodbye my friend.

perfection; the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.

something that has haunted me my whole life or should i say i’ve haunted it my whole life...
i’m the one who is chasing it
it has what i want
i’ve chased it to exhaustion
but it has want i want
self fulfillment...satisfaction...
so many questions
when i look in the mirror, i wonder
my belief of everyone expecting perfection and nothing less has corrupted my mind..
it has rotted my self esteem
the reason being acceptance
a desire of being desired
terrified of rejection
i torture myself wanting to reach perfection
self-destruction  
i hate perfection
perfection is an illusion
but we crave satisfaction.

I found out during class one day
That there’s no way to satisfy everyone
No matter what you say
Talk too much
Sullen eyes turned your way
Tucking away agreivement to mutter about later
Talk too little
They barely notice your presence
And eventually,
Slowly but surely
You’re gradually disincluded
No longer the one they think of
When they have nothing to think of you by
So where is the balance,
How do you satisfy everyone?
One can’t go about their life being apologetic
Although I’ve certainly tried
So isn’t it about time we stopped determining our self worth on what others think of us?

You don't feel the same way as before
did you ever feel that way in the first place?
We've heard it all in the lore
here I rest my case
You're unsatisfied
I didn't "pleasure" you enough?
Lust manifests
you can make it rough
and witness the effect
you don't love me anymore
you just wanted my body
why didn't you tell me before
before all this
I waited for the right reasons
it's not fair
pain heals with the seasons
but you wouldn't care.

tease me,
play me,
kiss me.

curiosity killed the cat.
and satisfaction never brought it back.