This is the part where I close my eyes,
And pretend that I do not exist,
But I still hear doubts in my head,
I can feel my stomach start to twist.

I'm waiting, wishing, listening close,
For an answer, nobody is there,
Instead the silence screams away,
Reassuring me the world doesn't care.

I am only an insignificant speck,
Nothing more than blood and skin,
It's useless to waste anymore time,
Hoping for something better to begin.

Everybody is able to make the choice,
To live their life right or wrong,
The consequences that follow,
Either break us apart or make us strong.

There's so many paths to choose,
Roads winding in every direction,
Everyone else is well on their way,
I'm stuck back at the intersection.

I'm surrounded by high expectations,
I can't ever get away,
There's few places I can go and hide,
Where they can't catch up for a day.

I aim to be the person you need, but
I also want to stay true to myself,
The greater the height you try to set me,
The further I'll fall from your shelf.

You keep pushing for perfection,
I can't change who I am inside,
I could work my hardest to please you,
But neither of us will be satisfied.

Out of breath

And helpless

And afraid

And angry

And quiet

Oh so quiet

You've always been so quiet

So why does it feel like you've been screaming all these years?

I wish I was talented,
to sing your heart out,
to dance like a graceful ballerina,
to paint beautiful landscapes,
to play all kinds of instruments,
to cook as if you're the next famous chef,
to be quick and and strong like a sportsperson,
but I guess my talent is to write experiences that people can relate to,
to connect and feel empathy for one another.

When you are working on that really important history project, before you can even begin, there is always that one person who asks: "So how much is this worth? How much will this count towards our mark?"

Ugh. Welcome to the Bauer state of mind everybody!

All that matters in life is how successful you are. And as long as your average is a constant 100%, you do not need to worry about anything else.

What a life huh?

These people are the perfect people for office job life. Nothing but numbers, no life, no soul.

Nothing else matters to them.

And singling these people out in high school is the saddest thing, and the most hilarious thing I've done.

Because these people brag at 100% and cry at 99%.

Wait, what?!

How can you not be satisfied with anything less than overdoing it?

I mean, you go on and live your life.

But I'll stay here with a more than satisfactory 85%.

I can work with that.

Truth be told, I probably need therapy, or counselling I'm not sure.
But I'm not going to get involved in that.

So instead I go to a karate class twice a week. And it's a good outlet for anger.

Just imagine the person or thing you're currently mad at and go crazy. Punch, kick, fight!

Make it known that you are blazing mad! Don't back down until you have won!

When the class is over, you're probably tired, you've used a lot of your energy, so you can maybe sleep your anger off.

But somedays, you rage does not give up, it sticks with you and you're still not satisfied with the service, you want a refund? Well too bad, you don't get one! Remember, this is not a real therapy session...

Maybe I should go into therapy -- or counselling.

Because even if you fight with all your rage and anger and hate, you won't win a fight if the person you're mad at --

If the person you are fighting...

Is yourself.

Unsatisfied
Left empty, void, hollow.
It's unsettling.
It's nerve wracking, unable to follow.

No matter what you try to make it fit
Nothing is perfect, nothing is right
Nothing is working and it's all simply ****
It's ****, it's ****, it's ****.

I struggle and I fight.
I scream and cry and groan and whine.
People tell it's not a problem;
That it's really absolutely fine.

Both you and I know that it;s not
and it never will be
because it's not going to be perfect
And I don't think it ever will be.

No denying who or what we are.
If there were no clocks would we really think of time
If there were only forests then trees we would climb
If there were some water then grapes together would make the wine
If there were all the animals then my conscience would be fine
If I had done my work then I would spend the rest of the day in sunshine
If all knowledge was a page away would I read it or forever be ignorant no less I guess is thine
If life was yours to give how could you take what isn't yours to understand in a simple rhyme