Where do you get off
saying such things so aloft
Things you don't deserve
words you didn't earn
Forcing feelings I cannot stand
This was never my plan
How could you be this way?
Twisted, such a poor display
of all we have been taught
who could've ever thought
We'd end up here
Feelings so severe
I can't go back.
panic attack.

I thought I would wait:
thought we were meant to be, thought it was fate ~
Not to worry, we’d meet again at a later date
at a better place, in a better state
But when longing was no longer, was it too late?
Or perhaps it was all just fake -
destiny twisted, star-crossed stakes
To meet again, feel again, only for it to break
yet again. You were another bait.
I see it now, nothing really awaits ~
They used us to play, oh twisted fate.

Written spells and locked doors.
Mental dispels and cursed flaws.
Aching tensions and delusional illusions.
Illusive dreams and paths to explore.
Wide awake, like a bat...
My mind is on high alert, it never goes to sleep.
Constant mental chatter, an over-active mental state.
It is eternal and I live in the misery and learn to control it.
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.
My mind is it's own person, it's own monster.
It opposes different ideologies, beliefs, and conflicts, into one.
I question my mind and talk to myself like a mad clown.
Conversating in my own form.

Boundless amount of wit and seedless unpleasant jokes.
Dark and uncensored, explicit and provocative.
A ***** tongue with **** lips to make you want to play with me more.

But am I really what you desire?
Or have you created your own storm.
Do I reflect you?
Or do you just reflect yourself through me.

Smile through the misery, you can't die with a serious face.
Stitch up the corners and pull it up high so you never have to cry again.
Maybe I am you, or maybe I am just suffering through my own madness.
Maybe my madness has become someone else.
My actions of contradictory displays.
But you love me though...

Lets play

who would know
   burns so sweet
      stings like salt
         reach so deep
            head tipped back
        twisted little girl
who would know
   fingers curled tight
      red stains faded
         nails deeply embedded
            tooth shredded tongue
        broken little girl
who would know
    who would know
        do you know

sitting still with moving thoughts
pretending nothing can break me more
you come and go like the wind
leave me wondering if I should feel warm or cold

suffering for sanity
only smiles on my face
guts are sickened of my imagery frame
praying for a better God’s plan

every once awhile I win the battle
of sanity and peace within
there you come again with twisted turns
blurring my worth with your twisted says

Dear Stalker,

Cold hands,
I think I'm starting to miss you;
stranger.
Someone I know that's not here,
a person distant, but yet so close.
-It's funny, I've never spoken to you-
But eye contact is all it seemed to be.
We live different lives, with our families.
But once a while, we gaze eyes, and see
each other through the haze.
I think i' am attracted,
strings attached,
but our ends
could never
meet.
I find it funny,
How someone I seen stalking me,
could become my own obsession,
that I think of every day.
It's unhealthy;
and that's why I chose to stay away from you.
But somewhere deep down inside me,
I think I love you too.