the world carries on outside my apartment
fighting
drinking
laughing
sleeping
a girl finds a flower
a man drives to work
a woman eats some green beans
a soldier wonders why he signed up
for this
a fat law maker *******
and me
I sit
and think
sometimes, cry
don't know what else to do
summer breathes hot air down my neck
and somewhere a baby is born
it is cold there
and her father is dead

Wanted.
always a word,
but none so meaningful as the word Lover

My arms around You now
Gratitude for a pillow

Will I ever Rise Up again? flowering?...

Born in this wheat field of Desire
I have killed a man.
His Name Was God

Taken for  Gospel
I have spoken the Truth of many..
but not He

he was always Loving.

I  lay with the multitudes,
now past
And Call for Life's forgiveness

It was into her cage that I once flew
Her Service that I was once Called

It is now as earthly Soil,
that I nourish.... soldiers rest.

Holy Spirit, Your name is Pope
Call for Life as Un-embodied meaning
I stand in Salute, and release FAITH.

Hiding in the Invisible,
as Openness for a Freedom that knows no Flag,
I claim Life without Victory.

Story written upon each Wall
From Vietnam to New Berlin,
Family Inheritance,
Reflected in the Sunlight.

A little girls Dad,
A Fathers Son,
I SEE my Brothers Name,
for the very first time.

Swallowing Heart of Grief,
Held imprisoned by tears of Unbelieving,
I remember the moment
you did not come home.

It was the end of Life for all of us.

Why do I remember?
It was on this day that you moved thru the hour glass

Put into heaven by the ****** needle of a soldiers pain,
Your Heart is Thanksgiving.
I am here with you.

No need to explain.
Your Choice, Victory
Mine, Stillness.

both just simple paths,
on this road that serves Love.

Footprint of Compassion, ONE Step.
I Claim LIFE.
I Claim FREEDOM.

And So It Is.

For world,
he is a strong man
a soldier
fighting the bad
defending his land
brave enough
to stand against a million
defiant enough to
make the first move
confident much
to never miss a target
ruthless enough
to **** the enemy
with bare hands
but for a little girl
back at home
he is a teddy bear
who will wipe her tear
a ray of hope and light
a Dad
who makes every thing
go right !!

I've always pondered,
What it'd be like to lose,
My heart,
Perhaps I shouldn't.
In one week,
From two yesterdays ago,
You'll be gone,
And with you,
My heart shall go too.
But you'll be so brave,
My little soldier,
Just remember,
To hold my heart dear.

You told me to flee as you shot at the enemy
The bullets echoed in your mind
My eyes were wide but only you could see
Fresh blood that had already faded in time

You knew well who the wicked were
So you never took your medicine
There was no need for a doctor
Only some bruises and cuts on your skin

Screaming in a voice that wasn't yous
Running over no man's land
Your screams echo within suburban walls
You don't trust my outstretched hand

A summer's day in our peaceful town
Your face bear´s the lines of blazing heat
You hear an explosion, you pull me down
As a truck slowly passes down the street

You still have the same touch when you hold me
Muttering what those hands have done
Pictures and flashes take over reality
Until there´s just sand, dust, loss and your gun

You are one of the lucky ones
But you didn´t come back the same
Sweating years and guilt until morning comes
Hearing your friends calling out your name

The fear of losing you is gone now
These days I carry fear of a different kind
That I´ll come towards you and somehow
You'll see my face and won't know it's mine

Inside you there is a wild storm
Were anguish and sadness grow
Suddenly you're back in your uniform
Surrounded by young faces you'll never know

I love you, no matter who you are
Forgive me for not removing your pain
When you enter a tank, I enter a car
Without warning your ghosts are back again

You're walking on the soil you fought for
Hearing people's voices condemn
In your mind you're still at war
Even if you did it all for them

Here we lie beneath the poppies
Blowing in the Flanders air
Do not forget our sacrifice
Do not forget that we were there

Young men forged in heat of battle
Neighbors, brothers, sons
Lost in time, with just our markers
Lost to lie, beneath the sun

Remember us as men of valor
Remember what we came to do
We came, and died, do not forget us
We gave our lives up, just for you

Forget us not, beneath the poppies
Where the sky is no longer dark
Remember us as long dead heroes
We came, we fought, we left our mark

Forget us not, please pass the torch on
Forget us not, more than this day
Forget us not, we were all soldiers
And we remain so....all the way!!!

Forget us not....

A letter to The Child Whose Life I Shaped

I pulled that trigger.
I loaded the bullet that changed your life.
Did I think?
No.
I was purely trying to save my own life.
No.
I don’t know where your doll is.
No.
I can’t help your dad.
No.
I can’t get you out of that dark room.
I am so sorry.
I mean,
sorry won’t bring back your doll.
Sorry won’t take that missile off course.
Sorry won’t make the men stop “visiting.”
Sorry won’t do a **** thing,
I can never take back my actions.
I know that I broke you.
I flipped your life upside down and turned it inside out.
I don’t know your name.
I don’t know your favorite color.
If I could go back,
and get to know you,
your favorite food and how old you are,
maybe I would have laid my life down for you.
It is too late to do that.
Too late to save your parents.
And your doll.
And your childhood purity.
No.
I didn’t know.
I didn’t know that I was shaping your life.
No.
I just didn’t want to know.
Didn’t want to think about it.

Sincerely,
The Man Who Drastically Changed Your life

I remember watching Grandad
Whenever it would rain
He would walk around the house a lot
You could tell he was in pain

See, Grandad fought in World War One
Though he never said a word
He was hearing things inside his head
Things no one ever heard

He hated rain, it made the mud
And that's where it began
Fighting, deep within the trenches
Keeping dry as best you can

Everything was always wet
You fought the ***, and fought the sky
The battle in the trenches seemed
To find ways to keep dry

Fifty yards away, no more
The enemy was waiting
Would today be when we made a move
Both sides always waiting

There were no birds up in the sky
Just clouds and all that rain
That war was stuck in Grandads head
And it was driving him insane

My dad would watch as Grandad walked
To hide from that **** sound
You know that all he thought of then
Was that trench, and muddy ground

You'd wrap yourself in what you could
You'd use  uniforms of the dead
Taken from your cohorts
Soaked in mud, and stained blood red

Boots, soaked through like paper
Feet wrapped up as best you could
The mud was everlasting
It covered everything but good

Dad, said it was painful
To watch Grandad on those days
He would hide so deep within himself
In a deep, dark, mental maze

The sun, it never dried the earth
The water just sat in little pools
With the sunlight bouncing off of it
Leaving drops shining like jewels

The smell, of rotting corpses
Piled high down at the end
Bodies of the fallen
The bodies of your friends

Dad said it was different
When he went off to fight
It wasn't like his father's war
It was just like day and night

I remember when my Grandad passed
It rained the whole day through
I remember as they lowered him
Now, I know what Grandad knew

The mud, the worms, the water
Filled his little six foot trench
And everyone was soaked on through
In my mind, I smelled the stench

I feel sorry for my Grandad
Because in truth, I like the rain
And I feel so sorry for him
That it caused him so much pain

The horror of the battle
And the act of keeping dry
You might defeat the enemy
But, not both...but, you'd try

I remember watching Grandad
And of how he hated rain
But, my Grandad was my hero
And, now I know...he's out of pain