Tonight I lie in bed,
waiting for what I dread;
Tonight I spit on my luck,
and the lightning that got me struck;
Tonight I exist in darkness,
for I want to dwell in endless;
Tonight I again wait,
wait to be the devil's bait.

there is an elephant in the room.

it showed up about ten minutes ago,
just strolled on in as small talk
turned into big talk and the
elephant couldn’t find bigger talk anywhere else
so it stayed.
i offered it food, drink, a corner
in the garden, it laughed
and told me to stop trying
to be a good host
and just let it be, but i couldn’t just be,
trapped in the kitchen,
stuck between a rock and
a hard place, the hard
place being an elephant.
meanwhile the talk grew bigger
and it grew bigger,
there was an elephant
in all the rooms, we should have
built the ceilings higher,
made the thresholds wider,
if you’re going to invite
an elephant into your home,
it has to be able to fit.
otherwise, you’re looking at
tusks in the wall,
a tail in your face,
an elephant and no room.

the elephant swung its head
and our eyes met as the big talk turned
into small talk but the elephant
had heard smaller talk before
and i had offered it food, drink,
a corner in the garden.
i didn’t want to let the elephant
inside, but we had left the door wide
open, so who could blame
it for wandering in?
it stayed in the kitchen
and i stayed with it, it laughed
and told me it didn’t need
company, meanwhile the small talk
grew smaller and the elephant
grew bigger, i didn’t want company
but there was an elephant
in the room.
i didn’t know
how to take care of an elephant,
but that didn’t matter,
it already knew its way around
the house, knew how to small
talk even smaller
than our talk.

i asked the elephant
for its name. it laughed and
told me it didn’t matter,
it knew mine and that
was enough. meanwhile the
small talk stopped and i stopped
trying to talk smaller.
the elephant stayed
in the room.

It's so stupid to feel lonely in a room
full of laughing people, enjoying their company with family.
I myself am with family, but I feel so
secluded, put aside, a thought floating
after a quick glance at the girl who's been quiet
for far too long, who usually
sparks the conversation before others.
Tonight, it is too loud.
Dancing waiters and a conga line,
trays of cheap champagne passed around,
Andrew discussing a promising proposal,
kept me so removed from table 351
and the restaurant itself. I cannot control
anything.
The conversation carries on without me.

At bathroom
i'm singing
a song
so sound
no budy
watching
my song
but
i'm singing
my self
broken word
just with
bath room
door broken
so nice

twenty-fifth floor
double room with a view
on how far you're gone
silly birds
crashing into the window.

they can't get in
i can't get out.


--Watercolour

We were waiting when we met.
I turned and you sat.
And we were both in transition,
You bobbed your head to the station.
I bit my lip because I knew you were watching,
We met eyes; You tried dodging.
They called your name, then mine too,
A little piece that we now knew.
For you they sent
You stood and went,
Perhaps we'll meet again,
Knowingly they watched, and then,
I imagined how you'll bloom
As we waited in separate rooms.

From hotel rooms
To nice sized walls
Our own walls
Surrounded by houses
In a nice neighborhood
In the south
And we're sleeping on air mattresses
Till our things get here.

I've been given a key to our door
My door
Which if I close I'll show to accept
I've left that place
With all my friends
The one I love
And we're sleeping on air mattresses
Till our things get here.

We've already bought the essentials
And done some cleaning
Just like our old place
Our new place
Is just bigger
And we're sleeping on air mattresses
Till our things get here.

The animals have gotten comfortable here
Figured the workings of this place
But will freak out
When we start moving things
Wreck their system
And they're sleeping on our air mattresses
Till our things get here.

There's so much potential
I'm looking for a job
My qualifications
Are not top notch
And I will work hard
While I sleep on an air mattress
Till our things get here.

I'll make new friends
I'll find new love
But I'm not sure
If I'm ready or not
So I'll sleep on this air mattress
Till our things get here.

We've only got a year here
I've only got a year here
This key is feeble
This room means nothing
And this place will just be like a dream
And we're sleeping on air mattresses
Till our things get here.

I chanced upon an old letter
That had clearly sailed legless on seas
Crumpled, damp but inside the envelope
Intelligible writing by sight
But by comprehension I was lost
Disorientated by sea-sick phrases

Somewhere a long way from our
shore a man or woman, very desperate
to find their way on board a ship
going in the right direction

When those who could speak
a second or even third language
were called forward
this person’s mind reached far,
back to french lessons at school,
every country visited and greeting noted
and piped up: I speak very good French!

But French speakers were common
Try harder! shouted a polite man
I can speak Zulu!? silence...
Pashto is very useful…
Ah! my mother tongue,
I dream in that language
Yes I am still in touch with my mother
with whom I speak, of course,
in Pashto

Setting sail on the lonely sea
There is nowhere to hide
besides the engine room,
And in there you will be used as fuel
Put to good use




*—Well I did think once that I was being summoned to an underwater land but in fact it was a ruse, a trick to rob me of wallet

I'm fine
Words to hide behind
Little details in ones face you do not recognize
Oh dear are you really okay
But we don't feel like sharing the whole story
So good will do
When you're feeling blue
And believe you have no value
In this web of lies
I can't find myself
Around the corner
On the shelf
I'm really up in my room
Now thinking is all I do
But I can't share my thoughts with you