I know. It can be scary to feel.
You either feel too much or nothing at all.
Or even worse, you feel you've hit the bottom
so many times you stop being afraid of the fall. Maybe you're already there,
and you decide to take a look around.
You start to feel safe.
Because you fear you'll be judged
if you are ever found.
Judged for falling when people thought
they were picking you up.
Judged for staying at the bottom just because you were "stuck in a rut."
And these fears are valid.
These fears may come true.
But these judgements will come
from people who love you.
I know it might not be clear
what I'm trying to say, so here it is:
it's okay to be afraid.
But if no one knows there's a problem,
they'll never be able to help show you the way.

it's me isn't it?!
i speak -
     things
                 fall
                         apart
i don't mean it -
      i'm
              covered
                               in
                                      scars
i hold my tongue -
     i'm
             losing
                         who
                                   you
                                             are -
                                           you're
                                           losing
                                             me
i say i'm sorry -
     it's
           not
                   my
                           fault -
                 but
                   i
               know
         it
   is
i walk away -
    leave
                the
                          things
                               ­          i
                                              tore
            ­                                             apart
                                                            to
 ­                                              c
                                        r
                     ­                        a
                                  c
                           ­          k
                               l
                      e
and
          b
                    u
 ­                                 r
                              ­                 n

can i apologise again?
     no.

       the
          damage
                       is
                         done

you've
found
the
p
r
o
b
l
e
m.

it wasn't my intention to embarrass you
perhaps i acted rashly
but knowing what he said to you
made me livid, would it have been better to have treaded bashfully
i cannot stand for my friends to be treated so nastily
myself is another matter entirely
i have a problem letting things go
maybe i need to grow

"Ana wata ga wata"

A Hausa proverb...