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Emotions and fears,
Rainbows and shadows,
Facts or just thoughts,
Curious about everything,
It's a state of being,
Not very reactive,
But very observing ,
Can sit and stare,
From the eyes corner,
Or look deep into your soul,
Into your farthest goal.

What you seek here,
Has made your being,
Untethered you came,
Tamed you became,
Boundless inside still,
Your thoughts unhinged,
Are of a curious nature,
To know them all,
Is this souls rapture.
Someone you knew,
For an eternity,
Changed eternally,
For another eternity,
It took another eternity,
To know them entirely,
This went on,
For an eternity,
Till what felt eternal,
Was wiped out eternally.

It wasn't, how I perceived,
An eternity, to unfold.
Right before my eyes,
Yet, it dawned upon me,
For what seemed eternal,
Was an infinitesimal fractal,
Of an eternal fractal,
A loop within a loop,
Within a loop,
It was a lapse,
In my perception.

So, now it was all new,
The old, that was,
Or is it really,
Just a recycle?
A cosmic joke,
Of you and me,
A vicious cycle,
As they say,
A cosmic entanglement,
Of your boredom and mine,
And so, yet again!
We change eternally.
How am I responsible,
For someone's life choices
In the past ?
Their resolve to mend things,
With me in the present?
Even if I am prejudiced,
In the present,
How does it matter?
If I don't let them speak to me,
Whichever way and whenever they want?
When I don't wish to talk to them ever again?
It shouldn't.

Who are they to guilt me,
Into feeling for those who harmed me in the past,
And wish to resolve the knots in their present?
I can't undo their past,
And do not wish to get entangled,
Even as a speck of dust in their lives,
When they never thought about me,
When I was in truth a boulder that sheltered them?
Unfair
A play of chance, you and me,
An unexpected tingle in my brain,
Clashed , crashed and burnt,
Like ashes to the ground,
From a volcanic rage.

Wishing death is for the gentle soul,
You ploughed holes through my chest,
So I couldn't breathe or live ,
Happier than the hate you sought.

Faced you like a beast and got clawed,
You chewed up my face, while I fought,
My wounds open up and bleed sometimes ,
I tend to them but am scarred for life.

Lied through the teeth and set the lure,
Reeled me in when it felt secure,
Banished me from my own skin,
Sitting in your own hellish abode.

"Save me" was the lie to begin with,
"Save me" became my truth till the end,
Hanging on the edge here at times,
I startle and scare at your thought.

The last song between me and you,
Echoes all that drama you adored,
Oh boy! How you liked the chaos,
The cacophonous sounds of your being,
Keeping me away,  from my minds harmony.
******
Unlearning to know,
What makes you, you,
What makes me too.
Haven't yet recieved ,
The divine perception,
To see, unsee and feel,
A beyond that exists,
Without you and me.

An everyday prayer,
To the unknown,
For a better sight ,
Into the abysmal depths,
Of my being and yours.
The whys and hows,
I will always wonder,
About the infinite finites.
What I feel is nothing,
No sorrow, no happiness,
No fear, no comfort,
Yet I smile and let it phase ,
Into an emotionless state.

A nobody with no desire,
I have tiny aspirations,
To keep me abode this plane,
Floating in existential dreams,
I wake myself up again.

To tread this life's path,
I think I wasn't chosen,
Or perhaps I chose to be,
To quell this tug and pull,
Of cosmic threads that hold me.

What I feel, I think not.
I think not, what I know.
I know not, a single speck.
Yet, I carefully maneuver,
For what I know, may not be.
Perhaps someday, I will know what I know :)
Blissful Nobody Jan 2023
I have gone cold turkey
On many a vice and addictions,
Wasn't nearly there,
When it came to you,
You -a newly seeded dandelion,
In my beautiful garden,
Pulled you out cleanly,
From root to tip,
Far away from flowering,
You didn't even look pretty,
Once a part of a  beauty,
Swayed fuzzy and whispy,
Got kicked and treaded over,
Scattered fragments,
Waiting to seed again,
Pretty on the outside,
Trouble for the gardener,
Didn't even use my rage,
Just calmly uprooted you,
So you wouldn't flower,
Won't scatter anymore,
Spread like a **** again,
But who knows,
Weeds are resilient,
Maybe you'll flower,
In someone else's garden,
Blossom and bloom,
Just to be kicked again,
Always loved a dandelion,
Pretty in the hands,
Prettier when scattered,
So I won't hold you again.
Leaving you out in the cold
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