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Rebel Heart Feb 2018
I saw something today
That reminded me of you
So I picked up my phone
Put in your number
And excitedly waited to talk to you
But with every ring you didn't pick up
My heart dropped lower out of my chest
.
.
"I'm not near my phone right now.. that or I'm purposely ignoring you Shanon just leave a message at the beep.. or don't whatever"
.
Beep
.
.

And it all hit me all over again
The feeling of choking
On my own tears
Drowning out the rest of the world
Because it had been so long
Since I last heard your voice
Yet it seemed it was only yesterday
We were playing street hockey
And making fun of eachother
And talking on the phone all night long
Just to hang out all day after
...
We would talk about our past
And what our future may hold
We talked about our demons
And secrets we never told
...
I remember being so angry
The day you left
After all we've been through
No sorry
No goodbye
Not even a single note
Explaining why
You decided I wasn't enough reason
For you to not climb into that bathtub
And press that razor blade onto your skin
...
How dare the sky rumble
When they took your lifeless body just to throw it in the ground
How dare the others cry
When you didn't make a single sound
How dare the birds still sing
When the world was falling apart
How dare the moon still come up
When nothing in the universe seemed to make sense
How dare they believe poems had to rhyme
How dare they still talk about the good old days
How dare they believe for one second they knew you at all
And most of all
How dare you--

How dare you leave me so broken
How dare you leave me so alone
How dare you call me your best friend
Just to leave me on my own?

...
The darkness lingering around my past
Found a deeper grip around my soul that day
As I watched pieces of my heart
Leave with you
.
.
.
Now I find myself sitting here awkwardly
Finally being able to string these useless letters
Into coherent words
To ask you if you're still listening up in the clouds
How dare you not pick up anymore
When I call you on the phone?



~Who else am I supposed to talk to when late at night my demons won't be put to sleep?
Who else am I supposed to talk to when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and weep?
(Pieces of a very old, 22-page-long, extremely agonizing memoir that brought me to tears because how dare you, with all this pain you carry in your heart, not realize how much you're hurting me before you're even gone? ~BM)

(Front Page 2/18/2018)
where melody
juice harp
in Neshaminy
boom cyclone
was brewed
Rotation Nation
in winter
of fun
when hops
were bitter
but their
sweet ***
in creek
run their
back yard
gain outside
the mall.
Eagles & Skins
Sabila Siddiqui Feb 2018
You are calling
and I just keep staring
frozen
my heart resonates
to the vibration of the ringing phone.

My eyes are hazzy
My mind is fuzzy
I don't know what to say
For I fear I will make a fool of myself
leaving to end the conversation
on an awkward note.

The call ends
I breathe
to calm my nervous nerves.

I call back
only to find myself stutteringg
and being overly conscience
with every word I say
dreading to have called
as the call ends.
This is a poem based on a true event of having anxiety when someone was calling.
Maverick Feb 2018
I pick up the phone,
It’s not your name.
I answer the door,
It’s not your face.
I meet someone new,
It isn’t you.
RebelGirl Feb 2018
1 cut
2 cuts
3 cuts
4 how many more til i hit the floor
5 cuts
6 cuts
7 cuts
8 tell me to stop that's just great
like it is going to help you yelling at me
for ruining my body
that we already know I don't give 2 ***** about anymore
and also weather I die or live
2 months later
I live on with the only regret of not picking up the phone before I picked up that god ****** blade
this is how i felt when my mom found out that i was a cutter i have been clean for 2 months now and am doing awesome!
from me
you
are
so
hoovering

your blue lip'd memory
there we were watching you
there we were feeling you
your flesh
so
pure
like the way my lips
turn curves
on
your body

your scent has drove me mad

your scent
had
drove
me mad

as my taste buds
have
you
engulfed

listening to you scream
yes
yes
yes
you are the best
give me
another
****
time
?


















...
..
.
call me crazy
with
out
an
...
..
.
Star BG Jan 2018
Ring, ring
off the wall it rang,
gabbing my attention.

Anxiety built
in a time before phones
announced called
I reached in breath.

My hunch was right
Oh its you
ghost from past
I heard,
begging for another chance.

My heart re-opened
as in off key he sang
our special song.

I gave him
another chance....
Once a unfaithful archoholic
always one.

Now, recording plays...
*The number you reached is disconnected Please don't try again.
Inspired by S Wesley Mcgranor ›
Haruharu Jan 2018
Where you wishing and hoping I was gonna show up?

Are you now disappointed when the door's closed and I'm not there?

Does the gym feel cold and boring?

Like it does for me when you're not there?

Does my absence affect you at all?

Will you text me? To check up on me?

To show me that I mean something to you too..?

Are you?

Everytime my phone light up I hope that it's you.

You, showing me that my presence makes you happier.

Please buzz..
Jessy Jan 2018
I’m an imposter
I’m a phony
I’m faker than Barbie

I claim to be a perfectly fine teenager; I’m an imposter.
I say there is nothing wrong; I’m a phony.
I smile all the time; I’m faker than Barbie.

I'm just one big
l i e
Star BG Jan 2018
In distant cloud of dreams,
the phone rings.
“Hello, Hello!” I echo,
with mouth closed.

An answer comes gently
“Wake up its almost noon.
“Wake to partake in day of sun.”
I hang up in mind and roll over,
with smile under covers soft.

In hazy cloud of dreams,
my body twists to align
with present still distant.
Subtle ring enters
mind again.
“Hello, Hello!”

No answer comes,
but eyes open,
as hand reaches for phone lines
still silenced
from past nights aim
at no interruptions.

“Hello Hello.”
I call turning on phone.
“Thanks,” I whisper to spirit
for waking me
from dream time continuum.”
We echo a laugh
at diner table
where we meet to indulge
in a big *** lunch.
This is exactly how I awoke this morning. LOL  A phone in dreams woke me.
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