My cup of tea,
now empty.
sits by me silently,
waits for me
to be up patiently.
As it turned next day
it remains still
the same way.

Next time
Stop me
From loving
Someone who’d
Feed me
Sand instead of
Sugar.

Next time tell me you don’t care.
So I don’t start caring.

Next time push me away before I,
Come close to, you.

Next time won’t be like before.
I’ll rather my heart meet a dagger,
Than go through what I did with you.
I’d wish such rage, such anger
On no man, your presence left an insatiable hunger.

So please, next time we kiss,
Don’t be shy.
Spit your poison into me,
I’m no longer afraid to die.

I want to kiss you
at the end of each night
and the beginning of every day,
I wanna be there so you can see
me smiling at the things you say.

i met karl denke once
had *** with him too

i met him on myspace,
he was the jealous type
and i loved it,
totally made me feel pretty

i met him in person
his mom called and asked him
who was over and if it was anyone important
he said no

i overheard the whole thing,
but karl made sure that i heard it
because he told me his mom had asked him if
i was his new girlfriend
and that he had said no.
then karl told me that he didn't owe me anything.

he also told me i was too tall,
he was used to shorter woman
"a lot shorter", he said

then another girl called,
he looked at the caller id
and said, "uh oh, i can't take this call now,
i'll call her back later"

karl didn't show me his city,
he kept me in his tiny apartment
it was a bachelor's he said
his refrigerator was very *****

when i got home
karl dumped me
because i asked him if he missed me

after i asked him that
he said:

"that's it, we're through"

he dumped me online
as i was listening to an mp3 file
he had just sent me via yahoo instant messenger

the song was "American Woman"
by the Guess Who,
a canadian rock band, formed in winnipeg in 1965

karl had planned the whole thing,
probably around the time he saw
my body wasn't built for *******

about a year after karl dumped
my american kardashian sized ***,
we spoke on the phone about all his new girlfriends.
karl told me my writing was too angry.

karl is doing really good these days,
he posts book reviews on goodreads.com
about books that i think are popular fiction
but am not sure, since i have never heard of them
and almost never read popular fiction.
karl doesn't care if you like his reviews or not.

his mom posted a picture of him and his latest girlfriend,
who will maybe soon be his wife if she isn't already.
she is a lot shorter, and probably isn't american
so she is good enough for him.

can't wait until karl hangs himself.
i hope his mom posts a picture of that
on her facebook page.

Promise me that in our next lives, we would meet each other
Promise me that in our next lives, we’d end up together
Promise me I wouldn’t suffer
For our eyes would meet
Our hearts in sync as they beat
You’d know my name
And you’d feel the same
You’d look at me in the same way
And I could hold you as I may
Promise me that in our next lives
We wouldn’t be like this
Where you are my bliss
Yet you haven’t even seen a glimpse
I would wait
No matter how many tries it takes
For I know it’s impossible
With this lifetime, right here, right now
But I’ll endure it all someway, somehow
So I will wait for you
In the next lifetime, and the lifetime after that, and the lifetime after that
Until we reach the one
Where I get to hold your hand
Where I get the chance to feel your warmth
So promise me that in our next lives, we’ll meet each other
Promise me that we’d end up together
Promise me I’d never have to suffer
But for now let me do this
Let me love you amidst the noise, the chaos, the mess
Let me look at you and remind myself of what I miss
Let me admire your eyes, your hands, your cheeks, your lips I’ll never be able to kiss
Let me reach out my hand as if you’d see
Let me admire your beauty as if you’d ever know me
But I promise to find you in my next life
And I will love you the same
Love, let’s meet till then

(For KSJ, 100417)
— g.g.b.

some days it feels like
all i’m doing is waiting
for the day to be over
and then the next
and the next
and the
but what happens
when I run out of days?