Stretching an arm to his bedside table,
he clasps an object with his hand.
He raises it up, and with a click of a button
a source of light forces his pupils to constrict.
The light in the form of his cellphone screen read:

                        4:17 A.M.
                   Friday, May 13

On the bottom half of the screen was nothing (0 new text messages) but a picture of three smiling figures in a foreign land.
And in one swift motion he flicks his wrist—
the phone makes a thud, ten feet away.
There was no use for it
when hundreds of his texts and calls were answered by the wind.

It may or may not have been four days since the incident that caused water from a faucet to seep through his eyes. His face now pressed against a blanket,
a scream pierces through the four corners of the bedroom.

The faucet water now found its way to his lungs
as he huffed and puffed. And huffed. And puffed.
As to what happened to his parents, he neither knew nor hoped to know.

4:19 A.M. It’s once again time to try counting sheep.

he runs and runs
away from invisible enemies,
settles for a wide street corner eventually
enters heavily gasping a small café.

the abdominals are ripped from all the coughing.
the swiftly waitress realizes that,
as he orders a cup of black coffee.
she asks him, if it was a fine sporting day,
with a wide, plainly sinister smirk.

confused as he was, he gives her an absent nod,
in hope to leave him alone and serve that **** coffee.
at least he found an excellent spot
covered on a stakeout for his own death.

the street on the left, called Void Street,
seems pretty occupied
but shows no sign of the ambitious hitmen.
on his right lies Paradise Avenue,
emptied and distilled of silence

still nervous he bites his fingers,
although no nails are attached to them anymore
so he ***** the angst dry
like a skint man does with the tip of his last wrinkled cigarette,
that he found in one of his forgotten jacket pockets

safe space now,
he reckons,
only to have his throat cut

I’m not sure why I cry
when I should be asleep
It’s dark out and I try to be soothed by rain
But no peace comes to pacify the pain
I’m not sure if you’re the reason why
My heart hurts and my thoughts are too deep
But I overthink more than I should
Over and over
And I’m anxious over events that don’t take place
And I’m desperately longing to see your face
Even though I can’t take a breath or fade away
So many thoughts and yet nothing to say
And as I continue to cry, stuck miles away
With so many thoughts and yet nothing to say.

Desperate for affection,
Wanting your connection,
Oh how strong I feel for thee,

Melting,
Feeling gooey,
My insides defrost from the cold,
Wicked world,
That hurt it so,

Serotonin release,
A pulse,
A care,
Drowning in warmth,
Gasping for air,

Waves of emotion,
Pull me under,
A sea of love,
Life, commotion,

An entity of its own,
Above me,
I surrender to it's power,
Give into the unknown,
Trust,
Watch the future flower.

the distance between

you and I

is a single word

hovering upon my lips

clings to me

and I grip on to it

hoping it won't slip away

disappear, be forgotten

me with you

I let my fingers

remain in your grasp

for an extra second

hoping I won't slip away

from you

The amount of messages
I compose and then delete
would almost make you wonder
if I was just talking to myself.