The house stands still as the sunshine trickles in
The only movement from the sparkles dancing through the window
Glinting of the glass of a hundred chandeliers
And although glittering,
The blinding bling is lonely until nightfall
When the candles are lit as tiny sparks through the glass
The shadows now shimmering as the day comes to pass
And night is almost brighter than the light
As countless couples gather for the colossal affair
Sauntering up and down marble steps
Tripping over silk gowns
Stumbling into raw ivy walls
Filling glass goblets with golden champagne
Bubbles to spark any conversation at all
Filling the soul with warmth and excitement
Until everyone’s minds are clouded and coruscating
Flashing diamonds and expensive watches
Pouring flute after flute
Until the notorious night comes to a close
And the stars from the champagne sparkles fade
Into early morning sun
Pale through the window
Waking up the chandeliers
While the rest of the house remains empty,
Yearning for another glimpse of life
Day after day.

you see me as carnation pink
like the flowers you left on my porch
i'm feeling more of a seething red
like the innermost flame of a torch
i don't want to crack in front of you
but how many angsty songs can i play
you call me a saint, that's a tall task
it's hard because what am i to say?
i've been programmed to believe
that any ounce
any drop
of emotion
is too much
and i am crazy and in the wrong
but i consider myself
to be seasoned in reason
deluged in logic
i will let out a sigh
and turn the music up louder
at least you're not here to see me suffer
but then again
that's part of the problem
isn't it?

I can handle blood, okay?
Knuckles when my wraps are loose
Sucker punches to the nose
Scalpels, scissors, screws
When the first incision flows
What I can't handle
Is knowing that I could slip from your mind
Into a pile of spontaneous moments
A slew of songs and stars
A collection of couches and cars
I check my phone too often now
So do not disturb stays on
Because when I do it,
Your message lives in a paradox of quantum superposition
Both sent and unsent, simultaneously
I don't have to wait in pain for pings
To remind me that you care
You crush me with care
But I will have to leave
My land of delusion
State of confusion
Cut off the perfusion
And come to a conclusion
My conclusion is:
I hate that my heart hurts
I hate reality sinking in
I hate leaving behind sparkles
Why couldn't they just stay locked up
In my all-too-familiar bottle of prosecco?
Why did you have to shake it up
And leave shimmer all over me?
Why do you make me want to
Sacrifice precious sleep
For another chance to impress you
And make you want me again?
I'm now not-so-subtle
Which nauseates me more
Than waiting for the first cut
Because you made me care
What a concept!
I don't know if it's a nerve block or what
But I once was feeling stuck
And now I can breathe again
I don't even know what I leave you with
So I will start with words
And Christmas lights
I hope you hang up Christmas lights
I'll stay in my world of romanticism
While methodically trying to not seem crazy
I'm never like this
But there's just something about you
That has made me want to write poetry again.

Throw me up against the wall!
Tie me up and let me fall
I hate soft scenes and caressing cheeks
Love isn’t patient nor for the meek
I drown and rise until I fly
Only to sink and sparkle across the sky
You’ll be pleased to know you’re the reason why.

his cologne left on my shoulder
as he said goodbye to me that day
his laughter stuck inside my head
as i scrambled for something to say
his green eyes filled with fireflies
as i tried to find something to do
his sweet words keep me up at night
and if only, if only he knew.

electric touch

begin again

fearless

everything has changed

cruel summer

come back...be here

the very first night

august

You say you are flickering
a candle in the night
You say you are quivering
coming too close to the light
You say you are shooting
like firework glitter
You say you are sharp
like coffee too bitter
You say you are boring
like 8am math class
You say you are itchy
like sitting on dead grass
You say you are gnawing
like dogs on a bone
You say you are rasping
like a guttural groan
You say you are cutting
like scissors and shears
You say you are frightful
but what are your fears?
Let me see
I think that’s cabinet twenty-three
Or maybe twenty-four?
Nevermind, that one is sore
I swear I organized this place
My papers each have their own space!
You say you’re piercing and pounding
at the same time?
I’m not sure my files have reason for that rhyme
If you’re cold, here’s a blanket
If you’re hot then I’ll take it
I know you’re trying to tell me,
I know you wouldn’t fake it.
Just fill out this checklist
I’ll be back in a few
Just give me the gist
So I can diagnose you.