Heartbeat racing.
Nerves shaking
We only have one day left..
Until I strum a few chords..
And read a few words.
My brain is filled to the brim with thoughts.
What will I have lost?
Nothing I thought.
So just practice.

1909, on top of the dragon.
Marigolds whipping a tepid fug in this small room of stringy daylight.
That place where we fell in love. Where I dropped a hot cup of tea on my pants
And we ate sushi on the beach. I love the beach.

I am not ready for the ice festival or your new boyfriend.
He smells like bad disco and old people.
This piano concerto that I play before bed, before awakening,
I have your black dresser drawer in my bedroom,
It glistens of our days of Jasmine and Roses.

My mind blurs stories of you, her, and the other girl.
Rad violin songs, a friend from Argentina has introduced me to
Mystify me, I cannot hear straight or stand still. I have acquired
A gift for shivering. Still I can feel your talons raking up my spine.
*******! Where? Why? How did you do that thing with your mouth?

I count upwards from you and in my peaking hours of misfortune, I
Never come back down to earth's giant centrality of duel existence.
My gut expands into my chest, my nervous system and anxiety is
All of you, a lot of her, and none of the other girl.
I make half inch black markings on the wall, this curse of feeling and not forgetting
That never goes away.

Believe me, I am breaking
under the pressure of life
and the static routine of
a schedule.
Believe me, if this time,
because in the ebullition
of my intoxication;
a mind wringing in the brink
of dislocation will surrender
to the edge of a ledge.
Believe me, I beg you,
before my feet carry on
wayward and the neurons
press a red button on my
self's destruction.
Just look at me, for once!
Notice the way red snakes have
scarred my shaking arms,
the way caustic tears scorch my pale
cheeks and wails turn inward;
a shrieking sorrow.
Please, understand me and save
my mind on a ledge.

Dry mouth
Cardiac
Licked with haste

Scratches at cement, head
Dust and wet
Blood

Fast to cover
Submerge
Black birds wake and burst

Cower sheets
Shaking lines
Fall short of eyes

Coward