You send me gifts,
You send me cards,
You sign it with a kiss,
But this is not love.

You send me emails,
Tell me to write back,
I do yet dad never replies,
This is not love.

You belittle me,
Mock me,
Humiliate me,
This is not love.

Your words torture me,
You think its ok to hit me,
You justify your cruelty,
This is not love.

I have tried to explain,
I have never blamed you,
I needed the distance,
This is not love.

You dont listen to me,
You turn family against me,
You are ashamed of me,
This is not love.

You blame me,
You shame me,
You will never accept me,
This is not love.

You go behind my back,
Telling people you want to help,
Yet you only ever scold me,
This is not love.

You refused to listen,
Just continued to blame,
Telling me its not good enough,
This is not love.

Others have tried to tell you,
You are making me sick,
But still you will not have it,
This is not love.

Everything that happens to me,
How you would abuse me,
You can only show anger,
This is no love.

You have pushed me so far,
That i've lost my mind,
I've lost all hope,
This is not love.

I have had patience with you,
Told you I understand you,
Yet still its never enough,
This is not love.

You want me to visit,
You will pay me to visit,
Pay to make me more sick...
This is not love.

After I was assaulted,
Your anger was relentless,
The blaming, the shaming,
This is not love.

Screaming and shouting down the phone,
I was forced to listen, I had no control,
Telling me id caused so much damage, made people sick..
This is not love.

All I got from you,
Was yet more torture,
More abuse, no empathy,
This is not love.

Ever since that day Ive known,
You cannot be my mother,
I cant treat anyone like you did,
This is not love.

I cannot understand,
What it must be like,
To have zero compassion,
This is not love.

You tortured me before,
Then you tortured me more,
Now you want me to come back?
This is not love.

Mum - I do not hate you,
And I mean you no harm,
But you have caused so much damage,
This is not love.

I am certainly not perfect,
And neither are you,
But i'd never want to hurt someone,
This is not love.

You see ive studied narcissism,
Ive dedicated so much time,
Trying to understand you,
Reaching the same conclusions time again.

I know its not your fault,
I will never blame you,
But you simply will not understand,
That I cannot love you.

All you've done is prove me right,
Though for a long time I doubted myself,
You made me doubt on purpose...
Mum - this is not love.

You are a textbook narcissist,
Im sorry if you think im wrong,
You rejected my suggestion of getting help...
This is not love.

After I was *****,
I knew you'd react that way,
Yet your anger still sickens me,
It sickens me to this day.

It proved to me once and for all,
That you can never be my mother,
Maybe we could be friends one day,
But you are not my mother.

Mum we have no bond,
We never have had one,
All you've shown me is disgust,
This is not love.

Others may be on your side,
I've read up on that too,
You hurt me to your own advantage,
This cannot be love.

Im not trying to hurt you,
Disrespect you, or anyone else,
Im only now protecting myself,
For what we have...is not love.

You turned all those I love against me,
But thats what narcissists do,
Im not the only victim you know,
And I do know your love is not true.

I am sorry mum,
It is all I can say,
We both need to fix ourselves,
Then maybe we can meet someday.

But after all this abuse,
I am sorry to say,
That I do not love you,
This is not love mum, I now see clear as day.

Im tired mum
Please let me go....

Take care **

She Loves you,
She Loves you not,
SHE LOVES YOU.
You are her poetry,
You are her art,
You are her masterpiece,
You are her soul.
Only you sleep in her dreams,
Only you travel in the shadow of her thoughts.
The way the Sun and moon causes the tides,
You pull her heart strings with sorrow, pain and joy.
Even if the stars glisten and mock her,
You will still see heaven in her eyes for you.
25/1/2019.

she is not insane,
she just loves the one
you think she doesn't
deserve or even real.
she is not insane,
just her beliefs are bigger
than the universe.
she is not insane,
all she wants is true love
who won't run away
after seeing her monster
not a big pocket or
even a prince charming.
she is not insane,
for she knows herself
more than anyone does.
she is not insane,
she just loves to show
her feelings,
but all you do mock her
for you think
she is a drama queen.
she is not insane,
she just wants to live
her life on her own
but no one understands.

This ******* of insight,
imprisons me
in a thought
that mocks the shackles

this filthy
abomination

undeserving
of its rank

reigning over
your temper

holding your patience
at point blank

so why bother
heckling the crows

when their claws
are deep inside you

none can stand firm
before

or come close

In the hall of
the king of trolls

What has literature become?
Mockery of the new age
They spit on the graves of former writers
They take their names and drag it through mud
Disgrace, distaste
Nothing fuels the flame
The elusive spark as died
We all try to grasp at fame
Only few may succeed
In comparison we falter
We are the ****** ones
left to pray at the alter

a condition
with stygian
inhibits our
haunts with
crypts and
needs a
hoax to
ridicule their
emancipation that
entirely melts
them as
a ghost
harbors ill
in milieu
while platitude
burry death
in gratitude

Do not laugh and mock nature of how it is,

for it can bring disaster whenever it wants and how it wants,

from volcanic eruptions to tsunamis,

we are nothing compared to it.

Our weapons today won't stop avalanches and earthquakes,

nature is far more powerful and stronger then us then we think.

Of course, there are people that know this,

but some may think that humans,

are stronger than nature.

In what way really?

As I see it if nature makes up her mind she could swallow us all at once if she decides to do it right this instant.

But she won't, know why?

Because nature is fair and knows how to control herself,

but humans aren't so we only know one thing,

and that is,

destroy.

Easy to love
And easier to hate
Oh how things changed
From our first date

That cute little giggle
Once had the heart all a float
Now when it's chortled
Wanna rip out your throat

I once was " the biggest"
And always " the first"
Now my genitals have "shrinkage"
And I'm " the worst"

Thought you were a treasure
My good morning peach
Instead you are fool's gold
An emotional leach
With feminine hygiene
Of something washed up on a beach

I'd say I'll cherish our memories
But that would be lies
You're evil incarnate
The bowels of Satan
Wedged up in your thighs