Everything is connected,
I feel like a volcano that has been dormant
but want to release all of my tension.
I want to show you my emotions;

So you can see I'm not a doormat,
I just keep my feelings below the surface,
It's resulted in my body doing the same
Which is why I'm in constant pain.

My trauma has created tunnels of magma,
I can't tell where they end or begin
It's frightening and leaves me upset,
There's no one I can share this with.

I hope for one day to lay out my feelings,
Let everything flow;
Like tears, they'll roll out of me
Covering everyone I've allowed to see

Then will come the tricky thing,
to never bottle anything again.
I don't want to reap havoc on them,
I want to stay empty and peaceful

To know where I end and begin,
It would solve something, wouldn't it?
But I feel like a volcano.
Physically and within.

In the slew of this trance
Railing across the nights
In shining armor of horror,

Light, something comical, guides me.

          I forgot how to write.
     I have no purpose.

a separation of tied limbs by
Wiley Scientist’s
Churning, clenching, wincing
Smile
Burn into my lobe.
Submission to anxiety.



Liberate my shackled mind
From the screeches of Armageddon,
Residing in the Nine Rings of rajas,
The most fruit bearing peninsula of
Illusions.

Tearing through the center of
My pinwheel of paralyzing
Hypnosis,


      Something reached beyond depths for me.

It, somewhat, portrayed itself,


As Light.

I had nothing
But time
I could see
The life of  
It in all its
Fleeting
Terrible light
Wondering
Had I lived?
Was I the
Object in
Another's story?
Was that all
I ever was?
Could I
Be more?

Nothing but
Time and still
No answer
I had glimpsed
Into the mind
Of eternity
Perhaps the
Mind of god
And found
Nothing but
Silence

what kind of person fantasizes about being sicker than they already are?
man, it's time I realize life is worth it and I've made it this far
when I can't forget, can't forgive, and get stuck
tires spinning, thoughts running, strength thinning
out of control
what role does my faith play in feeling whole?
I wish I could erase this hole eating away inside
but then I might just feel more empty
I try to cut through the feelings by cutting through the skin that covers this lifeless body
the razor shreds my flesh instead of fleshing out all of the chaos inside this mess of a mind