Your fingers between mine
Warm breath on my neck
Hair tickling my nose
Your body wrapped around mine
My heart beating with yours
Cold feet against my legs
Hot hands under my shirt
Smooth skin under my fingertips
Your perfume in my throat
Hot breath mixed with mine

I remember
You were walking to the fire pit with that stupid, wonderful, lost little boy look in your eyes
I remember
We talked about dirt bikes
I remember
You laughed at pretty much everything every single one of us said
I remember thinking
"Man, shut the hell up, already!"
I remember the next several weeks
You annoyed the hell outta me

I DON'T remember the day you first felt like a friend
I DO remember all the things you taught me
Laughter
Like all the joy in the world is bubbling directly through your soul
Silliness
Letting the world think you're crazy when all you're doing is having fun
Gentleness
Letting go of yourself and doing the right thing for the sake of others, so that they may feel..
Love
A friendship so full, deep, and rich; the first time we saw each other after several months all we could do was laugh
Literally
For like fifteen minutes straight
You made my soul feel whole

I don't remember when we started to drift
I don't recall the day it began
But suddenly, I realized I was losing my best man
I tried so hard to clutch you in my hands!
But you continue to slip through my fingers like sand
Slowly, slowly you disappear
And sometimes I catch a glimpse
A frail, fleeting glimpse
So intact and incredible
It is but a glimpse

Then away you go
Where you glow and you glow and you glow and you glow
For someone else to know
And I'm having a hard time letting go

lettuce forget just for
two hours that we just
met and really you could
be anyone, and lettuce
sustain our teenage
stereotypes, nourish them
with our shared saliva
by the fire -
we are cold and soft
like snow and we are
happy to share our
lizard tongues and lizard brains,
our foolish young
emotions firework in our skulls,
ricocheting against the walls.
sparks.

earlier i watched snow drift down
the chimney,
slowly melt, while ash
was propelled back up
by hot air:
neither sustained for long
in new environments, in foreign
air;
similar up-and-down particles
which i watched while
our hot sweaty hands lay open
like flower petals,
at our sides waiting.
someone had to move
(i did),
petals clasped together and
i noticed the warmth and roughness
of your hands.

i smiled and continued
to watch the flames.

cuddle with me
hold me close
hold me tight
dont let me go.
cradle my body
this isnt the end
dont say goodbye
dont end this trend.

Taking away the pain just seems so impossible

It's hard to smile when a smile is so hard to achieve

When there is nothing to smile about

When there's things  standing in your way

Others will try and be there but they will never understand

They will never understand how you feel

How can you be helped if you don't want to be helped

If you're so comfortable with who you are

But at the same time it's all you ever knew

here was something addictive about still pretending to be in love with you. It’s like the quotes and sad music started to become a part of me. But, after months of you leaving, I realise I’m not in love with you, I was just in love with the thought of still holding onto you.”
-I don’t know why I romanticised about you leaving me behind. 
(you-were-my-forever)

Just give me a reason,
to get my heart beating.
As the world falls apart around us,
all we can do is hold on
and take my hand.

I'd risk everything for you,
reaching into the denial,
risking loosing my mind.

Just reach for my hand.

You might call me crazy,
but I'd stand on the edge,
till there's nothing left,
waiting for the end.

Say another word,
because I doubt I could hear you,
with the silence between us.

Just reach for my hand.

I'd do anything for you,
while asking "why are you such trouble?"
From our first kiss,
your eyes held wide...
(why were they open?)

Just give me a reason,
to get my heart beating.
As the world falls apart around us,
all we can do is hold on
and take my hand.

Just reach for me.

When his fingers trace my skin
It will be a foreign invasion
Of the territory you made
A traitor
Waltzing on enemy lines

I'll look for you
In the contours of a strangers smiles
Or behind his fingertips
Waiting for just a glimpse
Of your light
To seep from someone else's skin

For pieces of you to surface
Rise like blood
A purple splotched
I love you
Signed with
I'm yours

I'll hold my breath forever
*but you won't ever come