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Esperanzavenisia Apr 2020
She writes with sadness but never Joy. Played with almost like a toy.
She has yet to understand her potential, You are loved she says but her eyes show the sadness from within.
She cannot begin to explain the amount of pain that eats her up and consumes her body.Like the waters consume the earth.
You see her name is sadness.
Esperanzavenisia Apr 2020
So many thoughts in my head, Keeping me out of bed. Love no longer red, my heart feels dead.Feelings catching up and I don't know what to do. Struggling to say the words I LOVE YOU. How can I love you when I don't even love myself. A thirst for an affection that means it all. Trying to find the words. I risked it all...
Esperanzavenisia Oct 2015
I have never starred at a blank page and never not known what to write.
Its like the words  no longer express my feelings, feelings that are no longer short phrases or poems of emotions.

My feelings  are inexpressible they have become so complicating.
I have mentally blocked out what was my outlet " Writing". I was once able to let out my emotions on a page and leave them there, But now its like I write an emotion and gain twice as much back.

I have lost my battle  and my strength to continue to try. As I sit here writing I realize that this may not make sense to anyone else but me. If you are reading this I have never wanted to make sense to anyone, because these are my feelings . I am just writing how I feel
Esperanzavenisia Oct 2015
Pen and paper the escape of the mind.
The Place where a thought is now not a thought.
The words now written aren't seen as just feelings, they are seen as a way into the mind of those they are written by.
Words that cannot be spoken because they just don't sound the same. When you cannot put the words together seems like your mind is going insane. With each stroke of the pen it seems to get easier, the thoughts become words on paper, they no longer consume space in your mind. Allowing you to move on.
Esperanzavenisia Oct 2015
Have you ever not wanted to love someone, but not know how to do so.
Not loving someone would **** most, because to love someone and be loved means that you're truly living life.

What if I told you that  not everything can be loved.
I myself cannot be loved, loving me would be destruction to ones self.
I am a ticking time bomb, I am so difficult, driving anyone near me crazy trying to figure me out.

No-one knows what I am capable of. I myself do not know what I am capable of, scaring the anyone who just wants to love me. So Please, if you are to love me just know that though I may not say it with words, or even actions. That i do indeed love you, that somewhere along the line I was hurt. Know I am trying to let you in, that giving up on me   would only prove that I am unloveable.
  Sep 2015 Esperanzavenisia
Storm Raven
It makes me sad to see how fragile your happiness can be.
I wish I could see you smiling for ever.
Not because you are the most beautiful when you smile, you are still beautiful in your pain.
I just wish you never had to know pain.
I want you to be happy because you deserve it.
For each and everyone of you, you deserve to be happy
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