i down the whole bottle before the sun's in the sky.
the way i live is the way that i lie.
i'm fighting the lows by staying high.
but its better if you never know why.

Maybe I asked too soon
or maybe too late
Maybe I should have asked you 4 years
ago
Maybe things would
be different...
maybe

**** is green
My eyes are red
I can't decide between
The refrigerator or bed

Crashed last night,
When tried flying high.
Was dreaming of skies,
When stuck in lies.
Getting lost within,
In the echo of noise,
of the monstrous mind.
Sometimes ruling over,
sometimes surrendering to
the battles within,
A warrior just trying to survive.

3 years ago,
In the city of chaos
when i was alone.
Trapped with lies,
in the cage of life.
Living so low,
Always find ways to get high.
So young of me,
With smaller the vision,
Just believed in fairies,
And prince of paradise.
There was cold in summers,
And autumn in spring.
Night so black,
Hiding all the shine of bright life.
I left the city of chaos,
With the chaos still within.

I hate this feeling
This feeling I’m feeling is a feeling that’s not appealing
This feeling I’m feeling is way to unappealing I scream to god “why aren’t I healing?”
This feeling that’s revealing,
People see what I’ve been dealing with and It’s hard to express this feeling I’m feeling  better cover it up better start concealing it…
I can’t say a word though… to anyone about it …because if I do I’d cry,
I’m depressed and people ask me why I get high?
Because I feel college is getting dry
This isn’t what I expected, this is all a lie
The thoughts of me failing would only leave me mortified
Got me in my dorm thinking why should I even try?
Beating me up leaving me with this ugly black eye
And people got a nerve to ask me why I get high?
That’s why I get high
This is what college is about?
This is why I’d cry
Now a days I get so busy and overwhelmed I don’t even have time to admire the blue sky
I’m drained
This feeling I’m feeling make me lean to god more and more I pray I get some faith healing
Kneeling on my knees I pray for the answers I’ve been needing
The negative voices in my head are getting louder and louder
The words that my demon has been speaking can get a little much
I’m screaming I can’t bare to feel this feeling that I’m feeling
I’m stressed
But the cutie on the 8th floor got my back
Call him down for some ****** healing
After he’s gone I’m still left with this feeling that I’m feeling
I’m done
But I can’t be, people say have courage and I’m trying to
They say I’ll be right here for you
But this feeling I’m feeling is so unappealing I just don’t want to feel it anymore

Ragged breaths
Dilated eyes
The sweet truth
The hazy lie
Breathy laughter
Loving the high
Sensual embrace
As I chase
After you
Addicted
through and through