She walked on coals to feel the warmth, the warmth that had been stolen from her soul. Flint against steel, sparks dying . Burnt fingertips and blistered skin.

Then she found the one to build up her fire, the one who had the power to produce flames through their hands. Igniting the spots their fingertips touched.

But then the fire was gone, stolen heat burning her from the inside out. Stifling heat overtaking her mind and soul.

Too much to bear, she extinguished her flame. Only ash, no more burns.

No more kindling.

You know when you loose something and you don't really know how you lost it, and you assumed it was right where it was supposed to be. But then, just like that it was gone? That is what happened to you.

I was so certain that you were here and then you just disappeared and you know what, I hated you for it. I thought, "how could you make me go through that and not even think about how it would make me feel"?! If we are being completely honest. It was an extremely ****** thing to do!

When people first break up they usually tell people, "it was a mutual decision" in hopes that people wouldn't worry about you. Maybe it is more for me than for other people. If I tell myself that I did conflict resolution then maybe I can trick myself into thinking that nothing is wrong. But that isn't fair. BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS WRONG!

I didn't expect to end up alone, I say I don't care, but I care because it is you. I always have to put on a front and act like everything is ok and it's not. I have never been more unhappy in my life to be completely honest and non dramatic as possible.

It pains me to talk like I'm not hurt by what happened. We both can't stand to be without each other (unless something has changed). It hurts to break down in tears at 2am and then wake up and go to work like nothing is wrong.

If I'm being honest, I can't stand being a part. I'm just trying to hold on to all the moments, all the memories. It's all I have. I don't think you realize how little I have.

So excuse me if go off the grid because the near sight or thought of you makes me wanna crawl under a rock.

to love a poet
is to admit the world
is tragic

she's counting her bills
and counting on her prayers

he left before she knew what it meant to stay

she spent years of her childhood building herself alone
hoping that she would be loved when fully built

she ate her pride and drank her hopes, then
she lost her pride and bought new hopes

she's spending years building herself alone
for herself alone

she figured out what it means to stay

she's counting on her bills
and counting her prayers

A jab in the heart
by a blunt blade
of wit,
followed by an
unfashionable smile;
you come to me
barefoot across the
dew spread grass,
eyes of glass violet
glazed with the
violent past you
try so desperately to
hide.
Innocence is the burden
you lost before your
years reached double
figurers,
most men grow tired
of your perpetual
silent complaint
but I beg you for every
syllable
no matter how macabre.
You ignite me

I have been aboard
the great iron ship
curls of white escaping
the bow
it cuts like a blade
fleeing clouds tumble
as I stand  above and benieth
the beautiful blue.
The day is at its brightest
yet I yearn for the stars
as that is when the sky
will truly wake