All these memories are full;
weighted down by iron bars
that lock and trap.
wrapping chains around me,
but I let them.
Too wild to be tamed,
Too alone to be sane,
but you looked at me
and you smiled-
oh god, you smiled.
Too scared of trying,
not understanding the meaning of family
until you took my hand
and I know what you're doing,
but by some miracle-
by some twisted miracle,
I let you.
You weigh me down now,
long after you're gone.
These chains never rust,
they never loosen.
I let myself be captured by your love.
And I'm still not sure if I regret it or not,
but you taught me how to feel.
And sometimes I wish you hadn't,
because these feeling that are inside me
are far from the malleable, soft thing that I've become.
Far from the person you turned me into.
They are sharp edges
and strong, unyielding walls.
They plunge me into a current
and I don't know how to swim.
So I take it all, floating along
without your guidance.
You taught me these things-
and then you left before you were done.
You've left me to smooth out the edges on my own
but you never taught me how.
