"Having gone through it once did not mean it did not hurt the second time. It is painful, raw and heart-wrenching. But I know I am going to get through it. I know I have to invest in myself, the people who I love and love me back and invest in the things that make me feel better so that my past would not hold me captive. I know if I was to work for the better, I would be much happier with my present and would not go back to rekindle with my past as I would have accepted the suffering is part of the path of finding my strength and a better self."

- excerpt from an open letter

Dear Little Girl,

Right now, you just stare
At the ceiling, at the wall,
Wondering if your hair
Will ever look pretty at all
Will it ever one day be tame?
I think you’ll be happy to know
That the bigger you grow
It’ll be more beautiful
But look exactly the same

You were the flower and I the petals,
  but over time we dulled and the taste
                              was nothing like before..

           I lost each petal of affection for you,

till all that was left was a stem,
                void of what had flourished.

the stem a tombstone of consequences,
       a monument that not everything that
                          blossom was meant to last.

I drifted into tomorrows and you found
                         that you could grow again,


somewhere new without me.

Stupid
You're old enough now
You should know better
Don't even
Don't you dare
Don't you cry
****
It's spilling
Its
S  p
i    l    l
i      n      g
Out
You ******* crybaby
STOP
Now everyone's worried
Well not everyone
He's not worried
He hasn't even noticed
He just walked by
*******
Crying even harder?
You wimp
S H U T  U P
I don't know why I'm crying okay?
Yes, you do
I don't
Liar
He's leaving
And he didn't even notice you
Wow
That's right
You're too old for this
It's not like you're special
Nearly every one has that black hole inside of them now
Fill it with food
Or material things
Or strangers
But it won't work
You think that there's someone out there for you?
Someone who will fill you?
Make you better
Stupid *****
No one will do that for you
So ******* grow up
and stop crying

Stop crying

They say there are ways to cope and writing is one but all we wish for is the cure. In the storm and chaos of everything summer, we only wish to smell the roses a little while longer until the thought of the killer shark takes over our minds leading us to a place where we’re too afraid to swim. I go to the beach and look at the waves only to wish I could dip my sanded feet into the water letting the chills take over me. Anything and everything we’d do just to feel free.

when will i have my first kiss, i can't help but wonder.
an old willow tree is a potential place where it could happen under?
the older i get, the more that i crave it.
it's not the type of feeling that you can just wait around and sit.
my raging hormones are begging for a set of soft and slightly chapped lips.
meanwhile, most of my classmates have moved faster and farther through their hips.
is it too much for a teenage girl to ask for?
i'm continually growing older and my heart as of lately, has been growing sore.
this is how it feels to be so wrapped up in an excessive, obsessive train of thought.
the simple truth is that i constantly think about our lips colliding, a lot.

somewhere there is
a man sitting
alone in a cave.

the immensity of
the cavity is obscured
by darkness, he
cannot tell how
deep it goes.

he has resigned
himself to whatever
this absence
holds.

the man hears
nothing but himself
echoing back
at him.

he can no longer
discern whether he
is going deeper
or just laterally.

he stopped here
for a moment
because here
was as suitable
a spot as any
in that Cimmerian
womb.

his heart is heavy
as his mind projects
the images, memories
and emotions
of his most recent
love lost.

he is afraid that
all this shadow will
swallow him
or that
maybe it already
has.  

that ultimately,
this ritual pilgrimage
to the underworld
would claim
him as payment.

but he knows that
this place also
offers unparalleled
boundless healing
and metamorphic
growth to those
that traverse
and
converse
authentically.

all that you find here is you.
all that you face here is you.
everything you didn't realize you were capable of.
every deeply malevolent impulse.
every twisted thought.
every terrible act.

but also the courage
to face them,

the grace to move
into them

and the love
to understand
them.

you will lose
yourself here.

you will find
yourself here.

...once more into the dark.

everyday i ask myself what should i do
lose motivation in a wrong simulation
was i born this way
all the pain i have
finally make me alive

the more i grow
the more that i knew
i don't want to live with no problems
i want to live to solve the problems
that's what make me alive
this is how i grow
the pain wouldn't go away
someone will take my happiness
how painful must it have been?