Today wasn't easy
I thought I saw you
Standing there
Your hair, perfectly combed
Soft and fluffy
I've never touched it
Never felt my thin fingers glide through your
Brown locks
But I can't say
I haven't thought about it


Your face, your beautiful face
Maybe it wasn't, not in your gray eyes
Maybe it wasn't, not in their dull eyes
But in mine
In my eyes
Your face ɢʟᴏᴡs


And the smile upon it
There was a secret dancing on your ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜʏ lips
Something you whispered
Into their ear
I wish I knew
But you were far away
And not just in distance


Your hands
sᴍᴀʟʟ and delicate
I remember comparing them to mine
Our palms pressed together
Yours were ᴛɪɴʏ


Small like a dandelion flower
Fresh from the earth
And soft as the seeds
Before they take to the ᴡɪɴᴅ


And that's what you did
You took to the sky
And didn't look back


I thought I saw you today
Standing there
Like ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ
And my heart spun wildly
Like normal
My face heated up
Like normal


But soon it all dropped
Fell to the ground
And I was left
sɪᴍᴘʟʏ wishing that
You were here
And wishing that
My feelings

Were not

Before I first opened my eyes
Even before we had our first breath
You have always suffered
You have always felt his wrath.
He was supposed to protect you, us
He was supposed to love you, us
But he's as irresponsible as a child.
Painful truth, a true curse
So long as he exist,
So long as he breaths,
The circle continues.

I'm the last line of defense,
I'm the last one left to protect you.
But I also have suffered enough,
But I can't be weak, I cannot turn back.
Because It is my greatest duty;
My solemn oath to you,
I promised to always protect you.

Though, I cannot erase the fact...
I'm really... really tired.
I want to take a break from him.
I wish to get far from him, really far.
My siblings left you, me...alone.
I am just a child, I've held my ground;
I've held my ground till I'm finally broken.

Why do I have to be traumatized by him?
Why did we deserved all this?
What did I do to deserve this?
When will this ever end...
Because I'm really tired...
To protect you , all alone...
To face him all by myself...

Its been two years and a half but I still like you...
But I no longer see you...
I'm still concerned and wish to talk with you...
From time to time, I think about you...
How foolish of me.

I don't know if it's just me.
But I know you don't give a **** about me.
Honestly, you're still the fairest for me.
I guess fate is just not nice to me.
Still, best of wishes for you.

when did we become a stranger?
walking pass by but we didn't even
see each other.
when did I become so wanting,
wanting to write about you
when all you do is running?
i love you,
like I always do,
but why can't you?

Ten tiny fingers,
Ten little tiny toes,
Chubby cheeks,
Dimple chin,
Like grandpa's and his cheeky grin,
Eyes are blue,
Mischievous  same as grandma's too,
Complexion fair,
With mama's silky hair,
As tradition goes,
Family's small button nose,
Papa's  sweet frown,
And his boring yawn.
Welcome to the happy family little one,
With lots of kisses,huggies and cuddles,it's going to be fun.
18/5/2019

Don't pull a frowny face
They'll just bury you in questions

"Are you okay?"
"What's wrong?"

Just smile

I'm exhausted from having to force a smile




It's not socially acceptable to be sad in public

So **** it

I guess I'll just die with a broken face.