Do you know how living feels like?
A never ending hike.
Standing on the road;
Bus,sometimes I'm taking.
But never going home.
Never reaching home.
Never knowing home.
''Home is where your heart is.'' ,
So easy to say.
Do they know where it is?
I don't have any idea,
But I wis.
Still couldn't find anything.
But I feel,
I feel something.
I look at your iris.
It gives me some annoyance,
But also some vis.
Then I decide something.
To carry on.
Carry on living.
But I have nothing,
To rely on.
So I keep wishing
To go home.
To reach home.
To know home.
Fuck it !
Fuck the problems .
Fuck the chaos .
Fuck society. I am ME .
I am edgy .
I am raw .
I am sweet .
Just what you need .
But , fuck it !
Fuck the money ,
Fuck the bills ,
I need peace !
I smoke weed , yes im lady
But damn it , it's my relief!
& I'm tired of conforming to these bullshit ass rules !
& To be honest I haven't used any of the tools from high school .
So fuck it .
I only have one life to live .
On a search to find myself ,
I have no fucks to give .
A man of honor, compassion and faith
Is there one in this place?
A man with a great of gold
A love for God, and the woman
Whose hand he holds
Why is this so hard to find?
A man who is gentle and kind,
Is there one out there?
Please do tell,
I feel I am waisting my time,
Like tossing pennies in a wishing well
I light a candle to show you the way,
But I've forgotten the way...
Behind dark clouds and aching trees
The path is hidden from me.
I creep behind bushes made of flourescent leaves
Stalking, so closely, the Meadows
As they dance and laugh so happily in their glee;
Prancing with their nimble bodies,
Weaving themselves in and out of the darkness of the forest.
Oh, sweet nymph of the path I have taken,
Show me the light that I have forgotten;
Lead me to the feeling of remeberance again.
Just maybe the stars used this navy blanket as their catharsis;
did you think that your uncaring hands on my face
was the same?
Because the stars had a
and the night sky was more soundproof than these walls-
though you didn't seem too concerned;
lashing words out like slaps
or was it the other way around?
(connecting the dots
with unscarred patches of skin left is easier said than done;
you made me hate the colour violet anyways.)
Fast forward to a few light years
where the same swings I'd enjoyed during my childhood
as the rope I'd temporarily worn like a necklace;
(they weren't supposed to be that tight anyways
and silly me hadn't kicked the chair away far enough.)
Dazed eyes and mind all muddled up taking in my new surroundings-
unmarred white with my hands secured to the small bed;
hadn't I been so disoriented
I might've noticed that familiar shadow hurriedly slip from my room
just as the monitor
The night I died
the stars shone on;
I'd like to believe their way of release
was easier than mine.
// there has to be more than this //
Oh but a haze.....
A fog, a blow
Oh but a weariness.......
Oh but a fallacy. A curse.
Unless embraced, unless held with care.
The haze can confuse,
The haze, is hanging angel, a shining curse.
If torment will come -- you can allow it to.
If the haze is taken slowly, it can caress you.
There is nothing but freedom and madness.
There is nothing but darkness and pure light.
At the harbor, the docks shake and anchor.
But out at sea there is nothing to guide you.....
And the haze can be the meaning you put.
The winds will blow the direction you gear.
And the haze can be nothing but a story you tell it.
Dreams of misty forests
Keep me walking in my sleep
Searching for the answers
I find only with my feet
Songs of old religions
Sultry scent of old perfumes
Strange fires burn within me
I dance to their ancient tune
Memories and voices
Echoing through my mind
The truth is far stranger
Than any fantasy I may find
Dreams of dancing figures
Haunting every step I take
These songs will keep on singing
Until I am awake